Oct. 21, 2012, 7:18 a.m.
The Chances We Take: Chapter 17
E - Words: 2,993 - Last Updated: Oct 21, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 37/37 - Created: Jun 02, 2012 - Updated: Oct 21, 2012 532 0 0 0 0
Blaine inhaled deeply, knowing his body was waking up. He stretched without opening his eyes and rolled over onto his stomach. He reached his right arm over, remembering that Kurt was next to him, and moved his hand around randomly when he realized there wasn't a body in reach. Blaine opened his eyes, his head still mashed to the pillow, and saw that his mind hadn't deceived him. Kurt wasn't there. The left side of the bed was empty.
By the chill of the sheets on Kurt's side of the bed, Blaine could tell that Kurt had long since been next to him. He turned his head into the pillow and groaned before pushing himself up. He could smell the morning coffee and thought he heard music coming from outside the room. He got out of bed, stretched again, rubbed his eyes, and scratched his head. Blaine was about to open the door and see what Kurt was up to, but then started to wonder why Kurt was out of bed. Had he slept? Did he get up in the middle of the night and sleep on the couch? Maybe it won't be weird. Maybe Kurt's just a morning person. He thought, trying to stay positive. But maybe it is weird and he feels guilty. What if I overstayed my welcome after only one night? I'm so stupid. That one move may have just ruined our friendship. He rubbed his eyes again, then remembered, through his sleep addled mind, that Kurt wanted Blaine to stay in bed with him and never answered if he had feelings for Blaine. He could have just said no, he thought.
Either way, Blaine still had to leave the room. He took a deep breath and opened the door. He was right. Music was playing, but it wasn't from outside the room, it was coming from the kitchen. Blaine smiled at the sight he saw.
Kurt was dancing in place at the stove with a spatula in hand. He had already showered and gotten dressed. Now it appeared that he was cooking breakfast and singing along to some pop song that was on the radio.
Blaine stepped into the kitchen and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms and smiling. He waited until the song was over and then cleared his throat.
Kurt jumped about a foot, startled because he didn't know Blaine was there, or even awake. "Oh my God!" He covered his now racing heart. "Blaine you scared me." Blaine laughed. "H-how long were you standing there?"
"Long enough to see your Shakira impression."
Kurt sighed and turned the stove off, removing a pan and putting it on the table. "I made breakfast."
Blaine looked at the table, not surprised that he had missed the spread of food that Kurt had done because he was too busy seeing the presentation in front of him that was Kurt Hummel. Kurt had cut up fresh fruit, buttered English muffins, and made potato pancakes. It all smelled delicious. "Wow."
"I didn't have any ham, bacon, or sausage so…" insinuating he would have made one of those as well to add to their breakfast.
"No! Don't worry. This is wonderful. You didn't have to do this."
Kurt smiled and looked at the food. "You're a guest and I wanted to make you first morning welcome." For a moment they both stared at the food. "Oh! Sorry. Sit. Do you want juice, milk, water, coffee? We have a few different kinds of tea-"
"Uh," Blaine smiled and took a seat. "Coffee." He stood right back up. "You don't have to serve me."
Kurt turned back around. "No. Sit. Please, I'll get you coffee. You've served me before."
"Yeah, at Jericho's. It's my job."
"But I want to," Kurt insisted softly. "Sit. Please." Their eyes bore into one another's and Blaine slowly complied.
"You're not used to hearing no, are you?"
Kurt returned with a cup of coffee and put it in front of him. "Not from you, no."
Blaine smiled again. "Since the food is right in front of me, can I serve myself?"
Kurt chuckled a little and took a seat perpendicular to him. "Yes. By all means."
Blaine couldn't have been happier that this was the response that Kurt had to last night. It was comfortable and domestic. It wasn't awkward at all. Breakfast was mostly ate in silence, but the silent moments were Blaine's favorite. They'd steal glances at each other, swap petite smiles, and their hands would brush one another's when they both reached for the same thing. It was all so new, but it felt so right. The thought of Vin was looming in the back of Blaine's mind, but he didn't want to think about him at that moment. He just wanted to have what they were right at that moment because even if nothing ever came from this, he'd still have it. He glanced back over to Kurt when they were finished eating and saw Kurt staring at him. He paid particular notice to the fact that Kurt wasn't staring at his face. It took only a second to look down and realized that he still wasn't wearing a shirt. Kurt was looking over Blaine's bare skin.
Feeling very flattered and loving the appraisal, Blaine suddenly got nervous. "I feel like a bum," he confessed.
Kurt snapped out of his trance and fixed his eyes up to Blaine's face. "Why?"
"You are already showered, dressed, and ready for the day. I just woke up and am still in my pajama pants."
Kurt wanted to say that he wasn't complaining about the view from his end, but stopped himself. "If you want to shower, there are towels in the linen closet in the bathroom."
"I'll help you clean up first."
"No. Go ahead. I'll clean up."
"Really, Kurt, I want to help out."
"You can help out at a meal that's not your first one here."
"My first meal was last night."
"You're first home cooked meal," Kurt corrected.
Blaine couldn't believe Kurt was insistent upon this. He shook his head incredulously and grinned. "Fine, but if you don't let me help clean up next time and use the excuse that it's my first lunch or home cooked dinner here, I'll go find someplace else to stay."
Kurt smiled. "No you won't."
"No. Probably not. I was just hoping you'd beg me to stay."
Kurt didn't answer. He just turned up the corners of his mouth simply and looked sweetly into Blaine's eyes. "The shower has a tendency to get really hot really fast, then really cold, then it'll even itself out after a minute."
Blaine stood up. "Thanks." He fought the urge to kiss Kurt on the cheek. He really wanted to, but didn't.
Kurt was in his bedroom staring at his bed while Blaine was in the shower. Kurt had every intention of making it, which was why he was in his room to begin with. Instead all he could do was look at the unmade bed that he and Blaine slept in the entire night before. He felt conflicted because it felt so good to fall asleep in Blaine's arms and it was like a breath of fresh air to hear Blaine say that he had feelings for him. However, on the other hand, Kurt knew he had done something wrong. He wasn't sure if what he did was considered cheating, but he was positive that if he told Vin, he would be upset. So did that make it just as bad as if he cheated?
Which brought him back to staring at the bed. Making his bed would be like he was erasing any and all evidence that it ever happened, but leaving it untidy, the way it was, was a reminder of what his relationship with Vin has now become: messy. His unmade bed was a perfect symbol of what last night and this morning has done. The jumbled sheets represented both the entwined limbs of both Blaine and himself and how mixed up his feelings were now because he could without a doubt admit to himself now that he had feelings for both Vin and Blaine.
His phone rang. "Vin," Kurt read when the name flashed across his screen. He answered it. "Good morning."
"Good morning, Babe."
"I'm surprised to hear from you since we spoke to late last night."
"Oh, I just missed hearing your voice." Kurt could hear the smile in Vin's voice. "How was your night with Blaine?"
"Huh?" Kurt's immediate thought was: How does he know?
"Blaine spent the night at your apartment, didn't he?"
"Yes."
"How was it?"
Kurt quickly put the pieces together. Vin hadn't meant that Blaine spent the night in Kurt's bed, merely that Blaine was in the same living vicinity. "Oh. Fine. We had breakfast and now he's in the shower. I'm, um, getting ready to make my bed."
"I have today off."
"Any big plans?" Kurt pursed his lips and sat down on the mattress, though still kept his eyes on the side Blaine slept on.
"Nope. Packing some. Dinner with some friends tonight, but mostly I'll just be doing nothing around the house. It's been a while since I've been able to do that."
"Mm. It's nice isn't it?" Their bland chatter continued on until Vin said that he'd let Kurt get back to making his bed.
When Kurt pocketed his phone, he sat very still. He wasn't sure if it was best to pretend like nothing happened or be honest and tell Vin the truth. Vin seemed so happy. He could hear the relaxation and happiness in his voice. He couldn't ruin that. Vin deserved to be happy.
Blaine knocked on the door. "Come in," Kurt said absently.
Blaine opened the door. "Do you have any gel? I need to buy some today."
"On the vanity." Kurt was staring away from Blaine, almost into nothingness.
"Thanks." Blaine walked over to the vanity and into Kurt's line of vision.
Kurt's eyes focused and saw that Blaine's only source of covering was a towel around his waist. He still had beads of water on his body. Kurt gulped, his mouth suddenly going dry.
"I was wondering when this was going to happen," Blaine said playing the the bottle of gel.
"What?"
"You. I was wondering when you'd go back to being sad. I was hoping that it was me that was making you happy, but here I am; you're not happy anymore." Blaine looked as sad as Kurt did.
"N-no. I'm not- it's not you. I-" Kurt stood up and quickly went over to Blaine, trying to keep his eyes on Blaine's and not letting them wander. "You did, I mean, you do make me happy. I'm not sad." He thought carefully. What was he feeling exactly? "I'm guilty."
The realization set in with Blaine. "I see. Are you going to tell him?"
"No. I don't think so."
"That's probably best. You don't want to hurt him."
"That's the thing. I already have. He just doesn't know it."
"I'm sorry. It's my fault. I shouldn't have put you in that position."
"No. Blaine, don't be sorry and don't misunderstand my guilt for regret." He delicately touched Blaine's entwined hands that were holding onto the bottle of gel. "I don't regret cuddling with you last night. It was… for lack of better terminology… it was special. So I don't regret it. But it doesn't change that it was…"
"Wrong?" Blaine finished.
Kurt turned his eyes down, shutting them gently. "Maybe. I don't know."
A glimmer of hope flickered in Blaine's chest. "What don't you know?"
"I mean, I know it was wrong, but…"
"But?"
"It… it felt right." There was a moment of silence and Kurt opened his eyes and looked back up at Blaine.
Blaine moved slowly, but he closed the distance between him and Kurt, wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist and tucking his head in the crooked of Kurt's neck. Kurt responded by instinctually enveloping Blaine's shoulders and resting his cheek on Blaine's head. "It felt right to me too," Blaine added.
"So, what do we do?"
Blaine took a deep breath. What he wanted to say was that he wanted to be with Kurt. He wanted Kurt to be his boyfriend and lover. He wanted to tell him everything he felt and how he knew it all along; how it took nothing for him to start falling for Kurt. He wanted to say all those things, but that's not what came out. "We will do whatever you want to do. It's up to you."
"I'm sorry, but I don't know. This is all so confusing."
"You don't need to make any decisions right this second."
"I don't want to lead you on."
"And you won't because now I know that you don't know what you want yet. You're not promising me anything."
Kurt squeezed Blaine tighter. He couldn't believe how selfless Blaine was being. He wasn't forcing himself onto Kurt or making him make a decision. "So, we're waiting and seeing?"
"Yeah, Kurt. We're waiting and seeing."
"I don't know how long we'll be waiting."
"You're worth the wait, Kurt."
Work that day was interesting because, while Kurt was submerged in his guilt, he also couldn't stop staring at Blaine when Blaine wasn't looking. He loved the way Blaine looked like he was in his own little world when he played the piano. If the music got louder, he threw himself into his fingers as he pounded down on the ivory keys. His face also mimicked the emotion of the music he was playing as well. If the song was meant to be romantic, he'd look like he was swooning, or if the song was devious, Blaine would bring his eyebrows together while making short clip movements.
Kurt never tired of positively scrutinizing the way Blaine looked when he smiled or laughed and even caught himself looking Blaine over from head to toe if he was standing up. Blaine maybe have been half a foot shorted than Kurt, but he was a pint sized hottie.
At lunch, Blaine felt like he was in high school again, swooning over a first crush because both he and Kurt kept catching one another looking at the other. When Kurt would look up and see Blaine staring, Blaine would smiling and quickly turn his head away, pretending their eyes locking was just a coincidence. The same went when Blaine caught Kurt staring. Only, when Kurt was caught, he also blushed, which made Blaine smile wider and want to embrace Kurt tightly.
They returned to Kurt's apartment to the smells of dinner wafting in the air. Puck had gone grocery shopping and was now cooking roast beef.
"That smells really good," Blaine commented.
"Where did you learn to cook this?" Kurt asked, a small smirk on his face.
"Food Network."
Kurt cocked an eyebrow up, still smirking. Clearly he was holding a comment back. He licked his lips. "You watch the Food Network?"
"Yeah. I also got a recipe for glazed donuts. I wanna try that some weekend." Puck caught the snickering look on Kurt's face. "What?"
"Nothing. Nothing," Kurt answered and went into the living room with Blaine following behind him.
While they waited for dinner to be ready, Kurt pretended to read a book while Blaine played around with his guitar. Kurt was actually continuously glancing up from his page and looking at Blaine as his master mind went to work on strumming out a tune. It was both attractive and fascinating to Kurt.
After dinner the three of them watched TV and then Puck went to his room. When it got even later, Kurt went to retrieve his extra bedding for Blaine. He helped Blaine put his bed together on the couch and the two sat down to watch another episode on TV. One episode turned into three and when it was well into the early morning hours, both realized that neither one of them wanted to leave the other's company, no matter how tired the other was.
Blaine hadn't been sure what was okay to do as he sat close to Kurt on the couch. Was he allowed to put his arm around Kurt? Was it okay to hold his hand or rest his hand on Kurt's knee? Was it even okay to touch Kurt? Kurt hadn't promised him anything and Blaine didn't want to push or cause any unnecessary angst that he already had. He saw Kurt's hand curved around his own knee as he sat with his legs in a pretzel style and Blaine settled for doing the same. They were sitting close enough that when Blaine put the curve of his hand on his knee, the backs of their hands touched.
Out of the corner of his eye, Kurt looked down at their touching skins and the corners of his mouth turned up. They stayed like that, feeling the temperature changing in each other's hands, for quite a while. When the time came and both of them were yawning, Kurt unfolded his legs and stood up.
"I think it's time for bed." He stretched.
Blaine unfolded his legs, but remained sitting. He just watched Kurt's actions. "Yeah. It's really late. You have a moisturizing routine, right?"
"I'm skipping it tonight."
"You are?"
"I'm too tired and skipping one night won't hurt me."
"Okay. Well… Goodnight."
Without saying a word, Kurt walked to his room and when he reached the door, he felt Blaine eyes on him. He turned back. "You coming?" he asked.
Blaine blinked, not believing Kurt was asking him to sleep with him again. He smiled and without saying anything, he turned the TV off and followed Kurt into his bedroom. Since they had gotten into their sleepwear hours ago, Kurt just turned down his bed and crawled in. Blaine followed Kurt's actions and slipped in next to him.
Nothing was being said, but everything just felt so comfortable, like it was supposed to be this way. They turned into each other and just looked at each other in the dark. Feeling braver, Blaine brought his hand up to cup Kurt's neck and his thumb brushed against Kurt's silken skin. His heart fluttered when he saw the tiniest of smiles while Kurt's eyes slowly blinked themselves closed. He slipped his hand off of Kurt's neck and when he brought his hand back down to the mattress, he felt Kurt's hand slip into his and entwine his fingers.