Kurt had left and Blaine watched him drive away from his bedroom window. He was still looking outside when his father came knocking on his door. "Blaine?" he asked.

"Come in," Blaine called out, still transfixed with the picture outside his window.

Henry entered and took a seat on Blaine's bed. "Son, we need to have a talk."

Blaine turned and leaned against the window sill, curious about what his father might have to say. "What's up?"

"I wanted to apologize to you. I don't know how you feel, but I feel that your mother and I have been keeping you too sheltered in this house. You're almost a man and we've been treating you like a child." Blaine blinked, silently agreeing with his father's words. "I know things are hard right now. None of us really know what we're doing. I hate admitting that because as a parent, we're supposed to be able to guide our children and give them the confidence to come to us with questions. Parents are supposed to know the answers." Henry looked down at his hands in his lap for a second, trying to find words. "But, Blaine. I don't know everything and I don't know how to help you find yourself again. I don't know how to stop trying to protect you and just let you grow and find yourself on your own. It's just… you got wiped clean and you have no concept of what people are like in the real world and I don't want you to get taken advantage of because you might be too trusting."

This was something Blaine felt his father might be saying because he had the conversation with Kurt from earlier on his mind. He had already been taken advantage of before hadn't he? Before the accident and before he lost his memory. He knew this now. Blaine felt a bit more respect for his father for coming forth and expressing himself the way he was. He gulped before joining in on the conversation. "I know, Dad." He licked his lips. "I know you're worried. I am too, but for different reasons. I'm worried that people I used to know won't accept me the way I am now. I'm worried that I'll be alienated because I don't remember anyone or anything."

"You mean, you want people to treat you the way Kurt has treated you." It was a statement, not a question. He already knew the answer.

"Yes. Kurt has been wonderful." Blaine's face appeared to light up when he was talking about Kurt. "I can't explain it, but when he's around, I feel like I'm working toward something in the future instead of searching for something in the past. Without even trying, he makes me feel comfortable."

"More than Mike and Tina?"

"Yes. Mike and Tina are great and I owe them my life, as much as I do to Kurt, but from the second I saw Kurt… I don't know… it was like I knew him, really knew him. I still don't remember anything, but when I think about him or see him, there's a familiarity, or like a fog has been lifted. I don't need to remember when I'm around him. I can just be in the present. Does that make sense?"

Henry nodded. "It does." There was something about watching Blaine fall in love with Kurt all over again that made him start to understand what Blaine was trying to explain to him when he first told him about Kurt last year. But there was something wholey romantic about Blaine falling in love this time. It meant that his initial love for Kurt was strong enough to make Kurt not only Blaine's first love, but also his second. "You really care about Kurt, don't you?"

"Don't you?" Blaine posed back at his father. "You've given him special privileges that no one else has gotten and everyone in this family appears to be extremely close to him."

"You're right. He might as well be another one of my children. He's practically been a part of this family for a while now."

Blaine smiled. He wasn't sure why, but he was pleased to hear this. "Am I going to be able to go back to school? I know we've been talking about it, but it's something I really want. What you said before- is that you saying that you'll let me make my own decisions now?"

Henry really thought on Blaine's question. "I want your mother and I to guide you now, instead of be the final decision; if that's okay with you. Also, I think it is time that we let you grow on your own. If going back to school is really what you want, your mother and I will help ease you back in. We'll start with visits to school and then work up to a class at a time. Does that sound fair?"

Blaine smiled and almost jumped up and down because he was so giddy. Oddly enough to himself, his first thought was of Kurt. He liked the thought of being able to see more of Kurt than just the few hours a day he comes to visit. "Can I go visit tomorrow?" He beamed.

Henry sighed. "I'll talk to your mother, but maybe we can schedule a small visit with the principal tomorrow afternoon."

Now Blaine was really excited. "Oh my God! Dad! Thank you so much!" He lunged at his father and hugged him tightly around the neck. Henry promptly stood up to hug his son properly.

Later that night, when Blaine was confident that everyone had gone to sleep he unloaded his bedside drawer and popped the false bottom off as well. He took everything out of the drawer and examined it all. He decided to leave the photographs and journal for last. He opened the envelopes first. The contents inside confused him. In one envelope, it held receipts to various things, restaurants and stores mostly. Another envelope contained movie tickets. There were tons of those. He looked over them all, but only some of them rang a bell to him. He compared them all to the vast amount of DVDs he had. He found that he had many with the matching titles on the ticket stubs. He pulled each one that matched and made a pile of them for future viewing. Next he picked up the condoms. This was one of those things that he remembered what it was, but didn't know what it was for. He read the label and stopped at the word 'intercourse.' He let the word roll around in his head and slowly, the meaning came to him. Sex. Blaine pieced together in his head that he had the condoms because he had been having sex or had hoped to be having sex. Based on the fact that the box of condoms was open and he did not have as many condoms in the box as the amount on the box read, he deduced that he wasn't a virgin and had sex with at least one person more than once. He recounted. The box read that there were thirty six in total. There were twenty-one condoms left in the box. I take that back, he thought. Never mind, more than once. Fifteen? I was busy. He decided to check the journal later to see if there was a clue as to who he was having sex with.

Kurt never mentioned me being with anyone, he thought. His next thought was an immediate excuse for his first one. But then again, relationships haven't come up yet. I'll have to ask him. He put the condoms down and picked up the bottle of lubrication. This was something he didn't remember. He knew what the word meant. To lubricate means to make something slick or slippery. He read the label, but it didn't offer much information on what it was for except that it was meant to be put on the body. He popped the top and put a single drop on his index finger. He rubbed his thumb and index finger together and found that it did exactly as it described. It made his skin slippery. Blaine resorted to taking out his laptop and Google-ing the item. The first things that popped up were shopping options. He had no idea that this oily substance would come in so many different brands, colors, and apparently flavors. He skipped over those sites and went for Wikipedia. He found that it too was meant for sex. The webpage paid particular attention to the mention of "homosexual intercourse."

"Homosexual?" he asked himself. He went back to Google and typed in "Homosexual intercourse." Blaine jolted and his eyes went wide with the amount of information shown to him. There were pages on the mechanics and pages devoted to religious groups. Different charity organizations, AIDS cites, and several other things. The vast amount of information only made him frustrated and didn't know where to start, but he did notice that the word "gay" kept coming up. He typed that in the Google search instead and far more graphic items came up.

These sites seemed far less negative and far more explicit. There were sites for men and sites for women; sites for information, communities for helping gay people, and more often than not, Blaine came across videos and sites dedicated to viewing people engaging in gay sex. He clicked on one of them and the second the people in the video started doing anything, but talking, he held his breath. Two very attractive men were kissing passionately. Blaine couldn't take his eyes away. People do this? he the two men started undressing one another and Blaine got so nervous he clicked out of the screen. He sat very still and quiet for a few minutes. He pondered the thought of coupling. He hadn't seen a same sex couple in television, so his only idea of relationships where that men and women went together.

He thought back to the condoms and bottle of lubrication and the things he saw on his computer and began wondering about himself. His old self. "Am I gay?" Blaine asked out loud. His mind wandered more when he tried to think of what that meant. Did he act a certain way that made him gay? Was he born this way or is he attracted to both men and women? Straight people used lube; was he just over thinking all this? He closed his laptop and moved onto the pictures.

There were only a small stack, but immediately he smiled when he saw the first one. Kurt and Blaine looked like they were lying down next to each other and holding a camera above them. Kurt really is photogenic, he thought. He flipped through some more; his smile growing with each one. Then he stopped at one in particular. Kurt was laying in a bed with the blankets ruffled down at his waist. He was asleep and shirtless.

Blaine wondered why he had taken this particular photo… of Kurt half naked and asleep. It seemed so intimate. He flipped to the next picture. It was almost the same as the last one, but this one had Kurt just waking up. The next one had Kurt fully awake and sitting up. As he examined the photo he pretended to fool himself that he wasn't appraising Kurt's face and body. Kurt was gorgeous. His skin was flawless and creamy. The way the light in the picture shined on him, he looked magnificent. And his lips, he thought as he forced himself not to touch the glossy photo with his fingertips, he's pouting.

He licked his lips and flipped the photo to make himself stop lusting the way he was. There were only three photos left. He froze when he saw content of the last three. All three were snapshots of Kurt and Blaine kissing. Two looked like they were taken by someone else and one was clearly taken by Blaine with one hand as they kissed gently. He splayed all three pictures out on his bed and looked them all over, picking at his nails nervously as he did so. What did this all mean? Was he gay? Was he and Kurt together as a couple? Or were they just friends who experimented and that's why all of this was hidden? He put everything away and decided to go to sleep without reading his journal. All of this was a lot to take and he didn't think he could handle anything else.

Dreams are a funny thing. Some people think that dreams are the brain's way of sifting through ones day in a bizarre mixing of concepts way. Some people think that dreams are the subconscious' way of giving advice to the dreamer. But once in a great while, the brain will do the dreamer a favor. It will show you what you want the most and give you a fantasy of whatever it is that you don't have.

Blaine found himself in a dewy meadow on a warm spring afternoon. His head was lying down with his head in someone's lap and someone was running their delicate fingers through his curls. He was completely relaxed and calm. Blaine closed his eyes and hummed as he turned his face up to look upon the face that belonged to the gentle hands. Kurt smiled down at him. He wore a look that was serene and there was a spark in his eyes.

"You look happy," dream Kurt said.

"I am. It's been a long time since I've been this relaxed."

"I'm glad you came."

"Me too." Blaine reached up with one hand and cupped Kurt's cheek. "I miss you."

"I miss you so much, Blaine," Kurt confessed, still looking dreamily at him. "Will I ever really see you again?"

"I don't know, Kurt. I'm sorry this is so hard for you. You've dealt with so much."

"Blaine don't apologize. I'd do this and more for you. I love you."

Blaine smiled. "I love you too. I know he doesn't know it yet, but he loves you too."

"He?" Kurt asked.

"Me. The new me. He'll figure it out soon. That's why he yells at you so much. He's confused, frustrated, and a little lost half of the time, but mostly there's a part of him that hates what he's doing to you because he knows you would rather be with me than him. So he gets moody really quickly and snaps at you."

"I love you both."

"I know you do. He knows it too."

"Does he really love me?"

"Of course he does!" Blaine scooted up to he knees and faced Kurt completely. "Kurt, he and I may have different personalities, but we're still the same person. Memories or not, you're still my soul mate. It's you and me forever. You're free to leave me whenever you want, but I'll always be yours."

Kurt grinned. "Oh, Blaine, don't be silly. I could never leave you." He leaned in closer.

Blaine put his thumbs through Kurt's belt loops and pulled him the rest of the way to him, closing the small gap between them. "You can, you know… leave me. You're not obligated to stay."

"Why would I want to leave you?"

"He spends an awful amount of time yelling at you these days."

"He's just scared and confused. Besides, if I can handle everything that happened last year, I can handle him yelling at me from time to time. We bicker. It never lasts that long before you turn back into a puppy."

"I can't get rid of that can I? Memory or no memory, I still turn into a puppy."

"Mmm," Kurt mused, playfully grinning. "Kiss me."

"Now, that I'll do."

Kurt grinned wider. "Good boy." They both leaned into each other and met in the middle, lips parted and tongues ready to touch. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck. The action looked comfortable and effortless, like they'd done this a hundred times.

Their heads twisted and careened side to side, dipping their tongues into each other's mouths hungrily like it was a race to beat the clock before the dream ended. It was strange, like Dream Kurt and Dream Blaine knew their time together was limited and was devouring every moment.

Kurt touched his fingers to Blaine's belt and spared no time unbuckling it. His breaths were laborsome and Blaine felt Kurt's hot breath has he breathily spoke into his ear. "I want you. I miss you so much. Please," he said. "Let me be inside you?"

Blaine responded by removing his own shirt and pulling Kurt's over his head. Kurt pushed down Blaine's jeans to his knees. He couldn't get them down any further because Blaine was kneeling.

Blaine tore his lips from Kurt's and started moving to be on all fours, but Kurt stopped him. "No. I want to look at you, while I make love to you." So, Blaine stood up instead to step out of his jeans and Kurt pulled Blaine's boxers down at well. He was already as hard as he could possibly get.

After all this time, Blaine's body still took Kurt's breath away. Blaine had the perfect sculpted features of an Adonis. Kurt kissed each of Blaine's hips and kissed tiny wet kisses closer to Blaine's shaft. Then he flicked his tongue out and sucked one of Blaine's balls into his mouth. He was gentle and loving. With his hands, he massaged Blaine's hips before letting his balls drop from his mouth in an audible smacking noise.

Blaine moaned and tangled his fingers in Kurt's hair. Because it was a dream, out of no where, a bottle of lubrication oil appeared and Kurt was slicking his fingers up with it. He took Blaine's dick into his mouth and braced himself by holding Blaine's hip with one hand and inserting one finger into Blaine's heat with the other.

This made Blaine moan harder. He twisted his fingers deeper into Kurt's hair and squeezed. Dream Kurt had no gag reflex so Blaine started gently rocking his hips and minutely thrusting into Kurt's mouth, in effect, impaling himself on Kurt's index finger, which quickly became index and middle fingers. "Oh, fuck."

Two fingers became three and when Kurt felt Blaine was ready, he removed his fingers and mouth from Blaine and slipped off his pants. He remained on his knees and let Blaine sink onto his cock. They both moaned at the same time, letting out a much needed, "Uhng!" Kurt held Blaine in place by grasping his fingers of his left hand to the small of Blaine's back and his right hand up between Blaine's shoulder blades.

Blaine let go of a long breath and breathed hot as Kurt started girating and thrusting up into him.

"Mmn, fuck," Blaine groaned.

Kurt moaned and pressed his lips between Blaine's collar bones. "Uhng." He pushed hard and steady in long emphasized thrusts. One particular hard thrust sent Blaine pitching himself forward, knocking Kurt backwards.

Kurt felt the grass and flowers beneath his back and his fingers dug into the dirt and soil when Blaine immediately started riding him. "Fuck. Fuck. Kurt, you feel so good."

"Ahh! Mmnn! So tight."

"Mmnn. Come for me. I wanna make you come." Blaine ground down harder.

Kurt moaned and grabbed Blaine's hips, smearing his skin with dirt and met him thrust for thrust. "Uhng! Shit. Oh shit, fuck. I love you. I love you so much." His stomach was tightening and he could feel his warmth spreading throughout his groin. He was close.

"Come on. Ah! Fuck. Come, Kurt. Come for me, Baby."

Two more thrusts and Kurt was spilling of the edge and coming into Blaine. Kurt gently took himself out of Blaine once his dick ceased pulsing and pushing out his seed. He rolled Blaine over and kissed him hard on the lips, tasting every bit of Blaine's mouth. He kissed down his neck and over his shoulders. He kissed each pectoral and licked each nipple. He nuzzled and licked his way all the way down to Blaine's cock and spared no time in taking Blaine into his mouth. He sucked hard and fast, hollowing out his cheeks and tonguing Blaine's slit.

Blaine was close, so close. Kurt's mouth was warm and wet. "Uhng." He was right there. Kurt sucked harder. Blaine's groin tightened. He could feel his orgasm coming. "Oh Kurt. I love you. I'm right there. Right there. Uhng. I'm-"

Blaine's eyes snapped open in his bed. His heart was racing and his hand flew to his groin. His dick was throbbing and Blaine's body jerked as the last bit of semen left his cock. He could feel the dampness of his pajama bottoms. "Shit," was the first thing out of Blaine's mouth. He raced from his bed, stripped off his boxers and pants, and grabbed a towel from his laundry basket to wipe himself off. He put on a new pair of boxers and climbed back in bed. His breathing was still hard and his heart was still beating out of his chest.

He sat up in bed and put his face in his hands. "What is wrong with me?" he said out loud into his fingertips. He covered his heart with his hand and wiped a sheen of sweat from his forehead. When Blaine looked over at the clock, it read 2:30 AM and he glanced over at his night stand. He opened it and pulled out the photographs.

Kurt. Kurt. Kurt. Every photo had Kurt in it. Kurt smiling, Kurt pouting, Kurt sleeping…Kurt kissing. Blaine bit his lip and flipped through the photos again and again. Confusion filled his brain. He could see his lips on Kurt's on the glossy photo paper. It made him nervous. Why were these photos hidden and why didn't Kurt mention anything about this? About anything even closely related to any of these photos. Blaine had never wanted to remember something so badly. He tried and tried, but nothing came. All he could think about was the dream. "It was so real." He closed his eyes and thought about how he could feel everything. He could smell the dew in the meadow and Kurt's shampoo. He could feel Kurt's hands on him and Kurt's lips. Why would he dream this? He groaned and flipped through the photos again. He stopped at one and saw something he hadn't before.

Up until now he'd only been looking at Kurt at the pictures, but this one caught his eye. Blaine wasn't looking at Kurt; he was looking at himself. It was a photo that someone else had taken of them. They weren't doing anything. Just sitting together. Clearly it was taken when they didn't know anyone was paying attention. But what made it special was the way Blaine was looking at Kurt. Blaine saw a familiarity in his own facial expression. It was the same expression he wore in his dream. It was… affectionate? He looked like Kurt was the most important thing in the world.

Is it possible? Blaine thought. "He told me he loved me," Blaine said in reference to his dream. "I said I loved him back." He made to put the photos back in the drawer and saw the journal. Blaine put the photos away and held the journal. He wanted to know. Was there something more to Kurt and himself? The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. Kurt was closer to the family and more like a second son to his parents. He knew more about Blaine than anyone and was the most supportive. Even James at the coffee shop seemed like he should have known Kurt to be around him. Kurt seemed comfortable hugging Blaine when Blaine embraced him earlier.

Blaine drummed his fingers on the cover of the journal. He knew whatever was in the pages of this book would tell him the truth, but something was stopping him from opening it. It was like he almost didn't want to find out this way. If Kurt and he had something between them or had a past, he wanted to find it out from Kurt. Reading it when he didn't remember writing it seemed like he was finding out about his life from a third party. It was fine when his family told him things because the memories they told were of things that they actually saw. The person who wrote this book was someone that Blaine didn't know… his old self. What if Blaine wrote something that was an opinion and it wasn't true? What if Blaine wrote that Kurt loved him and if Blaine confronted Kurt about it and it was wrong? What would it do them? What would it do to Blaine? He wanted to know, to understand. Would the truth really set him free?

Blaine licked his lips and put the journal back. Someday he would read it, but it wouldn't be today. Today he was confused. Today he didn't know what was happening inside him. Today he would go back to sleep and when he woke up, he'd talk to Kurt about it. Maybe knowing about my past is something I should be doing instead of raging against it, he thought.