Blaine had gone home, Mike had been waiting for him in the parking lot to drive him home. He sat in the kitchen, on the counter, where is mother told him not to sit, with his arm dug into a box of wheat thins.

"Blaine, honey, if you don't get off that counter, I will make you." Beth was working her way around the kitchen, getting things ready for dinner.

Blaine didn't move. "How did you know that you loved Dad?"

"This is about Kurt, isn't it?" She opened the refrigerator and pulled out items to make a salad.

Blaine sat up abruptly. "How did you know?"

Beth chortled and started cutting up a head of lettuce. "Sweetheart, I'm your mother. Don't you think I know who you love? I know Sebastian's a nice guy and all, but he's not Kurt. Kurt's you're guy."

"Yeah. My guy who won't believe me when I say that I love him. He thinks that I only think that I love him because I fell in love with the romantic couple in my journal."

"Oh, you found that?" Beth looked up for a moment, like it wasn't a surprise.

"You knew?"

Beth laughed again. "A mother knows everything. I knew you were gay back when you were five, I knew your sister would become a lawyer just because when Jared was ten, he said girls can't be lawyers, I knew Jared would take forever to settle down and have a real relationship, and I know now," she stopped chopping up a pepper and looked Blaine in the face, "that no matter what happens between you and Kurt, you'll be okay."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know you. You're my son, my baby. You're not that much different than you used to be. You're still sensitive and completely oblivious to what everyone else really thinks of you, but more importantly, you're 100% resilient. You always have been and you always will be. So, I know, that even if you and Kurt don't work out, you'll be okay. It will be hard, but it will get easier. In the end, you'll be happy, even if it's not what you originally planned."

Blaine smiled. He hadn't remembered his mother being so… motherly before now. She was helpful and demanding and comforting, but never like this. It made Blaine feel comfortable and confident. "So what do I do?"

"You sure it's Kurt you want, right? Kurt, not Sebastian?"

"Absolutely."

"Then go get him." She went back to chopping up vegetables.

"It's not that simple."

"Sure it is. It's only you getting in your own way. Go over to his house and talk to him. He can't walk out on you in his own house and his father would never make you leave. His father's name is Burt and he seems intimidating, but Kurt's his entire world and he's dealt with the two of you enough to be a no-nonsense guy. You'll like him. He loves you."

"What do I say?"

"Can I speak with Kurt?"

"No, not to his father; to Kurt."

"Oh! I love you?"

"I did say that."

She nodded her head as she sliced into a cucumber. "Tell me what he thinks again?"

"He thinks I'm only thinking that I'm in love with him because I read it in my journal. He thinks my affections are fake."

"Then ask him how you could prove it."

"What if he says he doesn't know?"

"Tell him that your word has to be good enough because he'll have to choose between having you and not having you." Beth was waving her knife around as she spoke, without looking across the room at Blaine. "Having you and you believing that you love him is better than not having you and regretting giving you a chance."

"Okay. I think I can do that."

She put the knife down and went over to her son. She kissed his forehead and took the box of wheat thins from him. "Good. Now get off my clean, marble counter and take a walk over to his house."

"Now?"

"No time like the present, is there? Besides, I know you know how to get to his house."

"You do?"

"You snuck out of the house weeks ago, do you really think I didn't notice?"

Blaine smiled again. "Why didn't you say anything? Shouldn't I have been grounded?"

"You used to do it all the time. I thought it was sweet or romantic. You know, your father used to do that when we were kids. He'd sneak out of his bedroom window and throw stuff at my window to get my attention."

"He did?" Blaine smiled wider.

"Yeah. He got the idea from a movie." She smiled back, obviously lost in the memory. "He definitely got my attention. Now go get him."

Blaine hopped off the counter and put the box of Wheat Thins away. "Thanks, Mom. He gave her a peck on the cheek and headed for his shoes and jacket at the front entrance."

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Blaine?" Finn opened the door at the Hummel/Hudson home. He looked confused that Blaine showed up unexpectedly at their door.

"Hi, Finn. I'm really sorry if I'm interrupting anything."

"Oh! No! You're not. We're all just sitting around the house, waiting for dinner to be ready."

"Is Kurt home?"

"Yeah! He's actually out back in the garden. It's freezing and he's been sitting out there for a while. Why don't you go on back. Maybe you can get him to come inside."

"Okay. Thanks!"

Finn smiled back and let Blaine in the house, escorting him through to the kitchen and the back entrance to the garden. Finn's mom Carol was in the kitchen. She greeted him with a smile and looked like she wanted to hug him. "Hi, Blaine," she said.

"Hi." He didn't know what else to do.

"I'm Carol, but we can talk later. Kurt's outside. Just through that door."

"Thank you." He saw Kurt from the frosted window and took a deep breath.

"Be careful where you step. There's ice everywhere and Burt hasn't sanded it yet. Very slippery."

Kurt was sitting on a swing that appeared to be meant for two people. Blaine went over to him and sat next to him. There was silence at first, but at least Kurt wasn't telling him to go away. "It's cold," Blaine offered as a non-committal conversation starter.

Kurt wiped the tiniest of moisture from his eyes and sniffled. His nose and cheeks were pink from the chill. "It's been more than two months and I still think of things like this." He gestured to the garden around them. "Do you know how much time we've spent out here? Sitting right here, just like this, taking a nap over by the roses," he pointed, "picking sunflower seeds from the sunflowers, hiding behind the shed." Kurt wiped his eyes again. He was hesitant to add that last part because they only hid behind the shed because they were doing something sexual and didn't want to get caught.

Blaine stayed silent. He felt guilty again. He felt like he took something away from Kurt that he could never give back. He didn't know what to do or say. Blaine stood up and traversed his way over to the rose bushes, carefully stepping where the ice was thin. He found that the roses formed a kind of cull de sac and there was a bench in the corner. He sat down on it and put his hands down on the wood on both sides of himself. Blaine stared out at the skyline. The sun was setting.

He couldn't help, but think about where he was sitting. He'd read plenty about this very spot. He'd dreamt about this spot. It was eerie how he knew what this looked like before he saw it. The whole garden actually and the shed. He'd dreamt all of it.

It took a while, but Kurt finally joined Blaine over by the roses. He stood in front of him, in the way of the sun. "Sometimes, when you were feeling playful, we'd play hide and seek. More often than not, I'd find you here. You always insisted on a hot summer day that we have a picnic right here and then take a nap after we'd eaten." Kurt almost smiled. "One day you insisted that you had enough sun screen on and when you woke up, your back was beet red. I was putting aloe on you for a week and then spent another week helping you peel the skin off. It was really gross." He had a wistful smile and gave an almost chuckle.

Blaine looked up at Kurt, seeing the halo of light the sun had created around the crown of his head and saw that Kurt was barely turning the corners of his mouth up. "You miss him, don't you?"

Kurt's barely there smile went away and he nodded his head. "I'm sorry." He sat down on the bench next to Blaine, but didn't look at him. He began talking to Blaine, but looked off into the sunset as Blaine watched him speak. "I couldn't be happier that you're still alive and I don't blame you at all for the accident, or your memory loss, but seeing you and knowing that the Blaine I knew isn't here anymore- it's hard. You have to know that it isn't you fault. I'm trying my best to be there for you, but now- especially right now, I miss him. I know this must hurt you as much as it hurts me, but the fact is that it's a reality. You're confused and frustrated and I'm not helping you. I'm sorry. Sometimes I wish I knew how, but it's those times that I miss him the most."

"He was really special to you." It wasn't a question.

"Very special. I could never find the words to explain how much he meant to me, or what he was for me. I only wish that he knew."

Blaine wanted to again console Kurt like he was mourning the loss of a friend, so he hesitantly lifted his hand and gently put it on Kurt's knee. This time Kurt didn't shy away from Blaine's touch like he did earlier in the choir room . He let him touch. "I'm sure he did know," Blaine offered.

Kurt sniffled and wiped a tear away. "Oh yeah? How do you know?"

"Because anyone who can recall as many memories as quickly as you can and speak of someone so passionately, doesn't let another person go one day without telling them, in some way, that they're special. I doubt a single day went by where he didn't know how much you cared about him."

Kurt sniffled again and lifted his eyebrow momentarily. "That's sweet, but you couldn't know that."

"Yes I can."

"How?" He looked down at the hand that held his knee.

"Because I read the journal and, trust me, he knew. Every day he knew. But even without the journal, I know how much I mean to you now."

Kurt turned his head almost abruptly. Blaine was able to see all of the emotions Kurt was feeling. They varied from surprise to painful. "You do?"

"Yes. Kurt, of course I do." Blaine turned his body slightly, his left knee touching Kurt's right. "You don't notice, but I see what you do. Since the second I woke up, you've given up your life for me. You were at my doorstep everyday, no questions asked, just because I wanted to you be, until I told you not to. With the exception of James and us, you've answered every question I've asked with as much honesty and humility as you could muster, no matter how hard it was for you to talk about. You've spared everything you had inside you just to be there for me. I know what I mean to you… and there's nothing that would make me want to trade what you've given me so far. I wish I knew how to do that. Because then I would be able to show you how much you mean to me."

Kurt covered Blaine's hand with his own that was still on his knee. "You don't owe me anything. Not even a thank you. I was with you everyday because I wanted to be. I want to do the things you ask me to do because I'd do anything for you." He stopped there. He almost said I love you. He wanted to say it. Desperately, he wanted to tell Blaine how much he loved him still.

"Anything?" Blaine asked. Kurt responded with a nod, wondering if Blaine had something in mind for him to do. He got his answer when Blaine continued. "I still want to kiss you."

Kurt bit his bottom lip. He wanted to kiss Blaine more than he could say. He wanted to feel Blaine's lips on his, and taste his tongue, and tangle his fingers in Blaine's hair. "B-Blaine I can't-"

"Why not?"

""I'm not an experiment, Blaine. I'll still be here, when you figure things out, but if we take this step and you find that I'm not what you want… If you didn't really feel that way all along… I- I couldn't…" Kurt swallowed the again rising lump and couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence.

"I'm sorry," Blaine confessed after a few minutes.

Kurt shook it off. "You're just trying to figure yourself out. Usually I'm better at keeping my emotions in check. I try to be objective for you, but this is a bit of a sore subject."

"I'm not apologizing because you're right. I'm apologizing because I'm sorry you feel that way. You're wrong, Kurt. On every count. I don't want to kiss you because I want to know if what I'm feeling for you is real," Blaine explained. "I know it's real and I want to kiss you because I feel something for you. I want to kiss you because it'd be you I was kissing." Blaine paused and Kurt looked away. "No. I'm not saying this right." He got up off the bench and knelt down in front of Kurt. His knees immediately felt this sting of the cold ice beneath him. He took Kurt's hands in his and held them in Kurt's lap.

Kurt's breath hitched. This was a pose that Kurt knew well. Blaine knelt in front of Kurt like this the first time he told Kurt he loved him.

"You said I couldn't kiss you because you're not an experiment. I don't want to experiment with you. I have feelings for you. I love you. I'm sure of that. I want to kiss you as a way to express my feelings for you. You're beautiful and amazing." Blaine let Kurt take in what he was saying. He realized that he'd said a lot and then the thought hit him that maybe Kurt didn't feel the same. Maybe what Kurt felt for Blaine was solely friendship and duty. Just the thought of Kurt not feeling the same way crushed him. He furrowed his eyebrows in innocent curiosity.

Kurt heard the words enter into his ears. Through everything, Blaine still had feelings for him. That special connection that they'd always had; the one that made them perfect and made for one another by some divine entity. When Kurt finally looked at him he saw the old Blaine. The Blaine that couldn't help but make himself look like a puppy when he was anticipating a let down. God, did he want to kiss him and feel the way it use to feel, to love him and make Blaine feel the way he used to.

Kurt took too long to answer and Blaine asked "Do you not want to kiss me? Is that it?" His expression remained looking like a puppy and his nerves were getting to him as his heart beat faster, anticipating an answer- any answer.

"Blaine…" Kurt stood up while still holding Blaine's hands. Blaine looked up at Kurt, still on his knees. Kurt urged Blaine to stand and he did as he fluttered his eyes in confusion. "Do you know our first kiss was very similar to how we are now?"

"You know I don't," Blaine answered softly. "Will you tell me about it?"

"You were drunk and trying to tell me how you felt about me and I was resisting you. The moments were full of pain on both your and my sides because you wanted me to believe you and I couldn't let myself do that. I asked you what you wanted from me, you told me not to cry, and then just kissed me. You didn't remember the next morning, so the first time we kissed as a couple, you thought that was our first real kiss."

"How is that similar to right now?"

"You're trying to tell me how you feel about me and begging to kiss me. While I want to tell you how I feel and kiss you back, I'm resisting and not letting myself have that."

"You want to kiss me?" Blaine's face lifted some and he inched a little closer. His eyes lit up and sparkled. Kurt nodded and looked down as he did so. "Then why don't you?"

Kurt looked back up. "There's so much you don't know. I want to tell you everything, but I don't know if you're ready."

Blaine's hands tightened around Kurt's. "You'll be here for me if it's too much, right?"

"Always."

"So kiss me…" Blaine was back to his pleading voice.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I don't feel the same way you do." Kurt didn't know how else to say it. Blaine had feelings for Kurt, but Kurt loved Blaine. It was too much for him to love someone or even kiss someone who he felt didn't return his sentiments.

Blaine inched away and loosened his hands from Kurt's. His expression had dropped and Kurt could see the light dimming in Blaine's eyes. "You don't? His heart sank. "I don't understand. How could you say you want to kiss me, but don't have feelings for me?"

Kurt wanted to take Blaine's hands in his again, but was afraid of what might happen if he touched him again. "No, Blaine. It's not that. I do want to kiss you and I do have feelings for you, but they're not the same as the ones you have for me."

"How could you know that?"

"Because I have a year of sitting on them and you have two months of meeting me and figuring out that you liked a guy instead of a girl and then reading how you used to feel."

Blaine shook his head. It bothered him to hear Kurt say that. "That's shit, Kurt. Complete shit. You don't know what's going on inside me. When I was in the hospital, I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was you. I swear… my heart stopped and in that moment I thought I was looking at an angel. I know that sounds corny, but that was my first thought. You were so beautiful and you were holding my hand. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Then you started talking and saying my name and I realized I wasn't dead and didn't even know that the name you were calling me was mine. I had no idea who you were, but then you were gone and I felt like part of me was missing until I opened the front door and there you were with my homework one day." He gulped. "Don't tell me that what I'm feeling isn't strong and that I haven't felt that something between us since the second I saw you. You can't tell me that what you feel is stronger than what I do simply because you had more time to feel it. You're everything to me, Kurt. You're everything. Can't you feel that?"

"Blaine, I love you." The words were out of his mouth before Kurt had a chance to stop himself. "I've been in love with you since the second we met on a staircase at Dalton. Before you ask if you knew, you did… and you loved me too. It took some time, but we finally found each other. It was perfect. We were perfect. We had a lot of, um, troubles at first, but we conquered them and came out swinging. Our love was so strong that nothing could touch us. You told me that we were soul mates and I believed you. You and I were nothing less than two fates colliding to create something beautiful."

Blaine didn't hesitate. He closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Kurt's hard. Kurt made a whimpering "Mmnn" sound milliseconds after he registered that for the first time in a long time, he was kissing Blaine.

They parted and Blaine's gloved hands held Kurt's face. "I love you. I love you. It doesn't matter how I figured it out. What matters is that I know it now and that I realized that I knew it all along, but was too stupid to notice." They sat down and held each other's hands.

Kurt pressed his lips back to Blaine's and breathed in his scent. He's been missing this for months. Another whimper left his throat.

"This is so perfect," Blaine whispered against Kurt's lips. "It's just like something out of my dreams.

"Dreams?" Kurt asked as he pulled back slightly.

"For a few weeks now, I've been having these really vivid dreams. Everything is so real. Like I can reach out and touch everything."

"What do you dream about?"

"Sometimes it's entire scenes, but sometimes it's just flashes. Um. Roses, plaid blankets and picnic baskets, white stones with the moonlight shining on them. I dreamt this place a lot," he patted the bench they sat on. "It's weird because I feel like I've been here before."

Kurt had a curious look about his face. "Tell me about the roses."

"There are different ones. Mostly red and white, but sometimes there are single roses that are kind of peachy."

"What else?"

"I'd rather not."

"Why?" Kurt thought something was wrong.

"Um. I've had some that are- um." Blaine blushed and Kurt didn't miss it.

"Oh!" he giggled. "Don't worry. Those are normal. It's not like that wasn't something we didn't do frequently."

Blaine raised his eyebrows and blushed even further. "About that… I read about it- us- a lot… like a lot a lot."

Kurt grinned. "We had a very active love life."

"You're speaking in code so I don't get uncomfortable aren't you?"

"Yes. And you want to know, but are too embarrassed to ask."

"Yes."

"Just ask. I've seen and done it all with you. You can't ask anything embarrassing."

"Was it- Was I… good?"

Kurt burst out laughing. "That is exactly the kind of thing any normal guy would ask." Kurt changed his voice to lower it. "How awesome was I? Is my dick big, or what?" He brought it voice back up to normal tones and laughed some more. "Yes. I'm sorry. You were divine."

"Really?"

"Yes. You seemed very experienced for a virgin."

"Oh… and you?"

"Me? Oh I'm sensational. I'm positive of that."

"No. I mean were you a virgin?"

"Yes. We gave it up to each other first."

"I cheated on you. That means I slept with another person, right?"

Kurt nodded. "It was an accident. I forgave you and we're long past that."

"Why did you forgive me?"

"Because it was something that shouldn't and wouldn't have happened if people weren't meddling in our lives. Like I said, it was an accident."

"This is one of those things that should be left in the past, right?"

Kurt nodded again. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Why Sebastian?"

"I liked him. I didn't when we met, but I liked his attention. I thought I couldn't have you, so I went for the nice guy who was interested in me. I didn't understand you and me. I didn't understand anything because I refused to read the journal. I wish I read it right when I found it. It would have save me a lot of time and anguish. I stayed away from you because I didn't want to hurt you anymore. I knew I was hurting you and I dreamt that we broke up. I looked through the journal and found out that I dreamt a memory. I didn't read into it more and I saw how mean I was. I didn't ever want to hurt you again. I thought that if I stayed away from you, I wouldn't hurt you. But then I read that you took me back and we were happy. REALLY happy. I love you so much. I want us to be like that again. I want that and I want that with you. I love you."

Kurt smiled. "I want that too." He stood up, bringing Blaine with him and pulled him in for a deep kiss.

"Kurt!"

The two broke apart.

"What?" Kurt yelled back without looking at the open door to the house.

"It's freezing! Now that you two have kissed and made up, can you please come inside before you catch pneumonia?"

"Yes!" Blaine looked shocked. "Oh don't worry. Dad loves you. He just acts like that to annoy me. It's really just him being playful. On many occasions he's caught us kissing and reminded me that dinner wasn't you."

They both laughed and turned to walk. Kurt started first and no sooner did he say "Careful. I over watered and now the ice is awful," Blaine slipped hard and the back of his head hit the bench. Kurt slid over to Blaine's body on the ground. He was out cold. "DAD!" he screamed. He started patting Blaine's chest. He took off his gloves and slapped him a couple times. Nothing. "DAD!" he screamed again. "Okay," Kurt was starting to hyperventilate. "Straighten him out and stabilize his head incase there was a break. DAD!" The second he put his hands on his head he felt a warmness. Then he saw it on the ice and his hands. Blood.

"DAAAAAD!"

"What?"

"HELP! Call 911!"