"Hey, Dad," Kurt said when he walked into his house after having dropped Blaine off.

"Where have you been? I thought you were bringing Blaine over tonight?"

Kurt sighed, knowing he'd have to explain everything. "I know. I was. That was the plan, but things changed when Blaine met Sebastian earlier today."

"Sebastian? Who's he?"

"He's Blaine's new friend from Dalton. They met at the Lima Bean this afternoon and he convinced Blaine to visit Dalton with him."

"I take it you're not happy with this?"

Kurt sighed and plopped himself down on the couch. He looked like a teen again. "I'm happy that Blaine made a friend and that he's starting to come out of his shell more, but I'm not happy with Sebastian being his new friend."

"What's wrong with Sebastian?"

"He's interested in Blaine… Very interested."

"Is Blaine interested in him?"

"I think so. He says he liked his attention, which I don't blame him, but I think he's pretending not to in front of me because he knows I don't approve. He wants his new friend and his best friend to get along."

"What's wrong with just telling Blaine how you feel?"

"Because I don't want to push him. What if he's not ready for a romantic relationship? He's only been with it for a month and a half now. And what if he doesn't feel the same? I don't know if he'll reject me and then stay away from me because it'd be weird. I'd just be pushing him right over to Sebastian."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I have to find some way to make him fall in love with me again."

"Kurt, you can't make someone love you."

"I know, dad, but I have to do something. I can't just let him go easily. I love him and Henry says that Blaine still loves me and just doesn't know it yet. I have to believe that's true. I have to believe that I can do something or everything in my power to get him back. I need him, Dad. You said at your wedding to Carol that she was everything and that's how I feel about Blaine." Kurt phone started ringing and he plucked the cell phone out of his pocket. A number flashed across the screen that he didn't recognize. His normal reaction was to not answer the call, but since he wasn't completely focused he answered it. "Hello?"

"Guess who?" said a cheery voice on the other line.

Kurt sighed and smiled. "Blaine, where are you calling from?"

"My house! After you left, my parents sat me down and said that if I'm going to be going out more then I should have a phone on me. Isn't it exciting? You're the first one I called."

Kurt flashed a look over at his father, who made a face back at him telling him he was free to go now. Holding the cell to his ear, he walked away and listened to Blaine talk about his new phone.

They were on the phone for almost an hour and Kurt never tired of Blaine going back to the topic of his new phone and how cool it was and how happy he was that he had one and could call Kurt whenever he wanted to talk instead of having to wait until he knocked on the front door of his house.

"Seriously, how do people live without these? I've had this for less than two hours and I'm already having a hard time wondering how I'll cope if it breaks."

Kurt laughed. "It does start to become an extension to your hand after a while. I think I'd have a panic attack if I walked out of my house without mine."

"So, if I wanted to, I don't know, drop by your house, you could direct me, right? Like, as I'm walking?"

"Yep. A phone makes things like that easier. Although, I do believe with the phone you have, you have walking GPS on it."

"I do? How does it work?"

Kurt talked Blaine through step by step of how to mange his GPS and used his address as an example because his house was in walking distance.

"That doesn't seem difficult. This phone is almost like working through an Ipod."

"Yeah, sort of. Hey, Blaine, I really would love to keep talking, but I need to get some homework done and it's late."

"Oh okay. Yeah, I should probably take a look at the homework you brought me earlier anyway and I think I'm going to play with my phone some more."

"Have fun with that."

"I will!"

Blaine's enthusiasm today was very refreshing and a little breathtaking to Kurt. "See you tomorrow, Blaine." I love you.

"Talk to you tomorrow," Blaine corrected.

Kurt chuckled. "Alright. Talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight, Blaine."

"Goodnight!"

Kurt ended the call with a smile and started digging books out of his school bag. A full hour passed and he was reading his literature homework and answering questions as he went along about the chapter; his phone rang again. Blaine. He smiled. "Do you have another question or did you just miss the sound of my voice?"

"Go out to your car."

"What? My car? Why?"

"Just do it." Kurt could hear a bit of giddiness in his voice.

"Um… okay…"

"Okay, bye!"

Kurt heard the phone go quiet and he stared at the screen curiously. "Please tell me he's not sitting on the hood of my car at," he check his clock, "10:24 at night." He stood up, pushing his books to the side. "His father would kill me." He marched downstairs, slipped his shoes on, put on his jacket and turned the outside light on. When Kurt opened the door, he could feel the brisk coolness of the November night. He shivered.

His eyes immediately went to his car that was parked in the driveway. No Blaine. Thank God, but now what? Kurt didn't see anything or Blaine, so he was about to go back inside, but he remembered Blaine's instructions were to go to his car, not to stand on the porch and look at it. He sighed and rolled his eyes. "It's cold. What am I doing out here?" he asked himself aloud." It wasn't until he got closer, he realized that something was on his windshield.

Kurt approached his car and saw a piece of paper taped to the glass. He carefully peeled it off, the glass freezing his fingers.

The paper looked like it had been torn out of a medium sized notebook. It had hand written writing on it front and back and a date on it. "November 8th, 2010. Dear Journal-" Kurt stopped reading and gasped. He knew what date that was. November 8th was the day he met Blaine. He flipped the page over and Blaine's name was signed on the bottom.

He immediately grabbed his phone and pressed SEND on Blaine's new number. After one ring, he heard music playing off in the distance, When Kurt realized it was a ringtone he snapped his head up and looked around. Sitting on his porch steps was Blaine, holding his phone, bundled up in a pea-coat, beanie hat, scarf, and smiling.

"Oh. My. God!" Kurt rushed up to Blaine. "What are you doing here? Do you know how much trouble you're going to be in? How badly your dad's going to rip my head off?"

Blaine just smiled. He looked so proud of himself. "I found it. I felt adventurous after today and I found your house all on my own. Well, not all on my own; the GPS helped, but I made it! Cool, huh?"

"B-blaine." Kurt shivered and accidentally stuttered. "It's past ten o'clock."

"Aren't you happy to see me? I went out… on my own. I feel weightless." Blaine's breath was seen in the cold air. His teeth started chattering. "Also, I feel cold."

Kurt rolled his eyes again. "God. Come on, but be quiet. Everyone's in bed."

Both boys went inside and dumped their coats and shoes at the door. They tip-toed to the kitchen and Kurt put a kettle on the stove. "Want hot chocolate?" Blaine rubbed his hands together and nodded. He had taken to laying the journal paper flat on the counter top.

"Where did you get that?" Kurt asked.

"I found it."

"Just the one entry?"

"No. I found the whole journal. I hadn't read anything in it, but after today, I wanted to read something, anything, about my time at Dalton. I didn't want to read too far ahead because I think I'm not ready to know everything yet, but when I flipped through pages I was looking for names like David and Wes, or even you. I saw your name about a quarter of the way into the book when I was fanning the pages and it took some convincing, but I read it. I wanted to show it to you."

"Blaine, I can't read this. This is private."

"But I wrote it and I'm giving you permission. I want you to read it."

Kurt sat down and reluctantly read the journal entry.

November 8th, 2010.

Dear Journal,

I met a guy on the staircase today. He's from another school and I feel obligated to help him. No. Obligated is the wrong word. I want to help him. His name is Kurt. There's something about him. Something different. He got my attention in the stairs when I was on my way to an impromptu Warbler Performance and he asked what was going on. He's beautiful. That was my first thought. I'd never thought another guy was beautiful before. Handsome, yes. Hot, yes. But beautiful,this was a first. I feel a pull to him that I can't really explain. That's why I want to help him. At least that's what I'm telling myself.

At first we all thought he was a spy from another school, mainly because of his outfit that had an attempt at our Dalton uniform, but it wasn't even close. David said that is was sort of endearing because of how bad a spy he was. I didn't want to admit it to him, but he's right. It was sort of cute… until I saw what was hiding behind his eyes. He was so… I don't know. In awe of how everyone kind of worked together and got along that you could see his anguish.

He's being bullied at his school and doesn't know what to do. Looking at him and hearing him speak, I can't see why anyone would want to crush his spirit. After speaking with him for a long time, I can only say that he's amazing. I gave him my number and I hope he calls. I already can't get him out of my head. I want to see more of him.

-Blaine

Kurt stared down at the paper. It wasn't anything that he hadn't heard before. He knew how Blaine felt about their first meeting. But to see it written down on the pages of Blaine's private thoughts made it seem just as sweet as the first time Blaine said it. Though, the basis of the entry was sad, Kurt smiled and his only that was: He thought I was beautiful from the moment he saw me. Blaine's biggest thing about describing Kurt had always been mentioning that Kurt was beautiful. Seeing Blaine's words, it was almost like hearing it again.

Kurt looked up at Blaine and handed the piece of paper back to him. "Thank you."

Blaine folded it and put it in his pocket. "So that's how we met?" he asked. "On a staircase? You were spying on the Warblers?"

Kurt went over to the stove and took the kettle off the burner before it could whistle. "Yes." He was still smiling as he remembered it. "I was a different person back then. I wasn't happy." He poured the water into two mugs and stirred the coco powder and hot water with a stick that had a chocolate covered marshmallow attached to it. Kurt turned around and put the mugs on the island and sat down on one side, while Blaine sat on the other.

"How come you never told me? We've talked a lot about how close we are and you only mentioned meeting me at Dalton, but never said more than that."

"I feel a little protective of my memories."

"But you're protecting memories of me. Wouldn't you want to share them with me?"

"Not all of them."

Blaine took a sip of his hot chocolate. "Why?"

Kurt cupped his hands around the mug, warming them with the heat coming off of it. He wanted to tell him. I'm afraid to tell you everything because I'm afraid you aren't ready to know and I'm more afraid that you won't like what you hear. I want to tell you that we were in love and I still love you, but I'm afraid that you will reject me. Kurt took a deep breath and started slowly. He had to start trusting that things will work out no matter what the timing. "I'm… I'm afraid. I don't want to tell you something that you don't want to hear or don't like. You were perfect and more than just your faults." He paused and bit his lower lip. "I don't want to hurt you, or more so; I don't want to disappoint you."

Blaine fluttered his eyes as he took in what Kurt was saying. After the emotional couple of days they had together, Blaine had never felt closer to Kurt. He thought that maybe he understood now why Kurt was so guarded with Blaine's past. He's not just protecting me; he's protecting himself. From what, Blaine wasn't sure, but he sense an emotional attachment, a much stronger one, than he'd felt from him before. Blaine reached his hand forward and covered Kurt's hand on the side of his mug. "You're not going to hurt me."

Kurt looked down at their touching hands. The warmth in Blaine's touch was comforting.

"Tell me something. When you think about our past, why do you always look sad?"

Kurt took a deep breath and looked back at Blaine. "I want to show you something." He made motion to stand and Blaine stopped him by standing in his way. Kurt almost ran into him.

"Stop avoiding me."

"I'm not avoiding you. I want to show you something."

"You're avoiding my question. Kurt, you spend all this time worrying about me and looking out for me, but you're not taking care of yourself. Look in the mirror once in a while, Kurt. You may look impeccable, but I can see your pain. I can see how much, what happened to me hurts you. You're guarded and you're hiding something from me to protect yourself. I know it."

Kurt gulped, but didn't answer.

"Okay, fine." He took a step back. Blaine was getting mildly aggravated, but he was done having these emotional spells with Kurt. He'd apologized and rationalized and did everything he could think of over the past month and a half, but Kurt kept shutting him out. Above everyone else, he wanted Kurt in his life. He couldn't imagine Kurt not in his life, but he couldn't keep doing this. He couldn't be in competition with whatever it was Kurt was holding inside. Then Blaine thought of the tall blonde. Where did he fit in all of this? "I'm here. I came here all by myself. You and I had a great evening and I came up with this idea to come here and do what I thought was an incredibly sweet gesture of giving you what you wanted: a piece of my old self. We've been over this before. You keep shutting me out. It's my life and my memories and my past. You make it really hard for me sometimes."

"Blaine, I-"

"Forget it. I'm going home before my parents notice I'm gone."

Kurt could see how badly Blaine was taking this. Kurt felt worse for doing both of what he said he was afraid of doing. He'd both hurt and disappointed Blaine. "Blaine, please. Don't leave like this."

"This isn't my fault, Kurt. You screwed this up." He started to walk away, then turned back around when he reached the kitchen table. "You know, for a split second, I thought that maybe I could kiss all our problems- wait. Sorry- You're problems away." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out an envelope he had sticking out of it. Blaine dropped it on the table top, it made an audible sound when it hit the table. "But that could never happen could it? At least, not again, right?" Kurt looked at him curiously, not knowing what he meant.

Stop him! Kurt screamed in his mind. His body didn't follow his minds orders. Instead he stood there, unmoving, and watched Blaine walk away. A minute passed and he heard the door close. Kurt's breath hitched, but the tears didn't come. "Fuck," he said out loud. "What is wrong with me?" Kurt couldn't stop himself from berating himself, but couldn't bring himself to run after Blaine. He knew that's what he should do. What he should have done, but his body just wouldn't make the motions to do so.

He took a few steps forward and covered the envelope on the table with his right hand. What did he mean: Kiss my problems away… again? He picked up the envelope and opened the lid. Photographs.

Kurt took out the pictures and flipped through them one by one. His natural instinct was to smile at them because the memories tied to those pictures (and he remembered every one) were so happy, but he couldn't smile right now. He started to flip through them slower when he came to one of him sleeping. He went to the next one, then the next. He remembered these. He wondered if Blaine knew Kurt was naked under the sheet. He wondered if Blaine knew that he was naked when he took it.

Kurt flipped again and gasped. He covered his mouth and stared at the photograph. They were kissing. He stared and stared and couldn't move. He flipped through the rest very quickly and the rest of the photos were all of Kurt and Blaine kissing. When he was finally able to move, he grabbed his phone and dialed Blaine's number. It rang once before going straight to voicemail. He called again. Same outcome. Voicemail. He called again and again. After five calls and five ignored attempts, Kurt finally left a frantic voicemail message. "Blaine. Please call me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. We need to talk about these. I mean it. We really need to talk. Please call me. I'm sorry. Blaine. Please."

He waited about thirty seconds and called again. The tears finally came. "Blaine please! I am so sorry. I'll do anything. I'll tell you everything. Please call me. I am so sorry. I need to explain these pictures. Please. Pllleeease, Blaine." Kurt called and called many times, but Blaine never picked up. Where had these photos been hiding? How long had Blaine known about them? What am I going to do? I just ruined everything.