Kurt

Monday morning came and Kurt was glad for the extra hour a morning he got to sleep in. Having to drive to Westerville every morning took some time when he went to Dalton; so, being able to wake up at 6:30 AM instead of 5:30 AM was a definite bonus already to his decision to transfer back to McKinley.

He was welcomed back to New Directions with open arms from everyone except Zach, who merely smiled at Kurt from his seat. His eyes smile when his mouth does, Kurt thought happily. He wanted to sit in the front row with Zach, but ended up sitting behind him in his old seat in the second row next to Mercedes. Although, Zach did turn around and ask Kurt when his lunch period was. They were both pleased to find that they shared the same lunch hour.

Karofsky, dressed in what Kurt deemed as a ghastly outfit for the Bullywhips, walked Kurt to most of his classes. Santana walked with him to the rest of them. Karofsky and Kurt shared a couple classes together and Kurt was surprised to find that he sat in the desk next to him for both. They barely exchanged words out loud, but at random times in the day, Karofsky would send him a text to make sure his day was going okay. Each message made Kurt smile because Kurt knew that "How are you doing?" really meant "Is there anyone I have to beat up?" However, it did make him slightly unhappy when he smiled at Dave once and Dave's reaction was an uncomfortable expression and turning his head away to ignore it.

At lunch, Santana sat at the table with Kurt, Zach, Mercedes, Mike, and Brittany. Kurt decided that lunchtime conversations at McKinley were way more exciting than those he had at Dalton because he generally sat with Blaine, Derek, Wes, and David. Wes, David, and Blaine talked endlessly about set lists and music to an agonising degree sometimes, while Derek and Kurt tried to talk over them about gossip and fashion. His dialogues with his old friends at McKinley varied in topics and there seemed to never be an end to an exciting conversation.

On his first day, he sat next to Mercedes, while Santana sandwiched him in by sitting next to him. Brittany sat next to her, while the circle continued with Mike joining them next, then Sam taking the seat next to Mercedes, and finally Zach taking the final seat between the two boys. Kurt kept stealing glances across the circular table at Zach, who smiled and quickly averted his eyes and turned back to the conversation he was having with the guys.

Kurt had one class with Zach. It was American Literature at the end of the day. Unfortunately, that class had assigned seating and Zach was seated at the far right front corner and Kurt was seated in the direct center of the classroom. When the bell rang for the class' end, Kurt took his time gathering his things and putting them away. He had to wait for Karofsky to come collect him and walk him to his locker anyway.

"Hey!"

Kurt was startled when a pair of hands appeared on his desk. He looked up. Zach was crouching in front of him and smiling.

"Good day?" Zach asked.

"Yeah," Kurt answered.

"I was wondering…" He paused. "Do you want to-"

"Yes," Kurt interrupted.

Zach chuckled. "You don't know what I was going to say."

"I don't care."

Zach smiled wider. "Okay. Then let's go."

"Where are we going?"

"I thought you didn't care?"

"I don't, but I'm still curious."

"Well, now it's a surprise." He touched Kurt's hand. "Come on."

Kurt felt goose bumps raising on his lower arms. "I can't… yet."

Zach's smile fell from his lips. "Why not?"

"No. I mean, I can. I will. I want to, but I have to wait for someone. It's kind of ridiculous really at the end of the day." Kurt blushed.

"Oh yeah. Karofsky and Santana."

"Yeah… them." Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Kurt, you ready to-" Karofsky walked in, acting a little in a rush, and stopped when he saw Zach holding Kurt's hand. "-go?" He finished when no one said anything.

"Um…" Kurt started, looking back and forth between the two boys. "I'm actually not going home yet, so you don't have to walk me anywhere."

"Oh." Dave didn't know what else to say or what to do. "When are you leaving?"

"I don't know." Kurt stole a glance at Zach. "I'm hanging out with Zach this afternoon and he hasn't told me where we're going."

"All right. Whatever then. See you tomorrow." Dave turned to walk out, but Kurt yelled a "bye" to him and he turned back. "Bye." Exactly thirty seconds later, Kurt got a text from Dave. D- Call me later?

K- Sure : ) Thanks for today.

D- Welcome.

"Who's that?" Zach asked, pointing at Kurt's phone.

Kurt smiled. "No one." He breathed through his nose. "It's complicated."

"It's not some other guy that you might be going on a date with, is it?"

"No. But your worried face is adorable."

"Can we go now?"

"Yes."

Zach and Kurt walked to their lockers and dropped off and collected whatever they needed to. Then they walked and chatted as they went about different things. Zach was clearly leading the walk, but soon, Kurt stopped paying attention and got lost in the conversation. Before he knew where he was, they had stopped at the elementary school playground.

"What are we doing here?" Kurt asked.

"Homework."

"You picked a really weird place to do homework."

"I'm an Art Kid. I like drawing and sculpting…"

Kurt glanced down at Zach's hands that were opening up his backpack. He saw colorful marks on Zach's hands. "And painting?"

"Yeah. That's one of my classes. I'm taking drawing and painting this semester."

"So, what does that have to do with homework?"

"We're supposed to draw a setting. I thought, with the light and all, this would be a fun place to draw."

"And you didn't want to be alone?" Kurt asked with a gleam in his eye.

Zach smiled and looked away as if hiding a blush that wasn't there. He took a deep breath. "I got to see you all day and barely said anything to you. The more I see you. The more impatient I get for Wednesday."

Kurt smiled, but his skin didn't flush pink. "I'm really excited for Wednesday too."

"Cool." Cool? Zach thought. Really? That's all you can come up with? Zach took out his Steno Pad and a pencil. He walked over to a bench and started staring at a tee-pee made entirely out of tires.

Kurt dropped his messenger bag on the bench with Zach and took out his American Lit book. He decided to read while lounging on a tire swing. Two chapters of The Great Gatsby later, Kurt felt himself being rocked in the swing. Zach was standing over him. "Finished?" Kurt asked.

Zach handed his drawing pad over. "It's not my best work, but I was in a hurry."

Kurt looked it over. Zach was really good. The shading was effortless and the detail was stunning. Kurt didn't know what Zach was talking about with his "not my best" comment because as far as Kurt was concerned, it looked wonderful.

"Here, let me see those. Sit up."

Kurt gave Zach his sketch pad back along with Kurt's book. "Why?" he asked.

"Because I want to push you on the swing."

Kurt smiled wide. "I haven't been pushed on a swing in years."

For a half hour, Kurt and Zach ran around the playground, acting like children and laughing, playing on different features of the playground. By the end of the half hour, Kurt was having so much fun with Zach that he almost didn't hear his phone ringing in his pocket. He took it out and answered it. It was Blaine.

"Hello?" Kurt answered.

"Hey you," Blaine replied, obviously happy to be talking to Kurt.

"Hi!"

"How was your first day back?"

"Great actually." He walked back over to the swing set and sat on one.

"You sound out of breath. What are you doing?"

Kurt giggled. "Um. I'm actually at a playground right now."

"Oh? Are you busy?"

Kurt saw Zach peeking out from behind the tire teepee, flashing a smile and then changing his expression to look as if he was asking a question. Kurt lifted his index finger to signify he'd only be a second. "Kinda. Can I call you later?"

"Sure. What are you doing at a playground?"

"Homework?"

"I doubt that."

"I'll explain later," Kurt said with a smile. He was watching Zach jog toward him. He reached Kurt and put his hands on the chains that suspended the swing from the beam. He started to pull Kurt back and Kurt started talking really fast. "I gotta go. I'll call you later. Bye." He hung up before Blaine had a chance to say goodbye.

Blaine

Blaine stared at his phone that was now silent. "He hung up on me," Blaine said aloud in his empty bedroom. He wasn't sure how he felt about that because by the sounds of it, Kurt was happy and really was in the middle of something. He knew he'd be unable to concentrate on anything else until Kurt called him back. He sent Derek a quick text. B- I'm going to be in the Warbler room if you need me.

D- Do you want help with something?

B- I don't have sheet music for more than a guitar, but you can come if you want.

D- I'll be down in a bit. I'm just finishing up my Calculus homework.

B- See you soon. Love you.

D- Love you too : )

Blaine went down to the practice room that the Warblers rehearsed in. He had brought his guitar with him. He could have practiced in his own room. The acoustics were about the same as the Warbler room, but he needed to get out of there. He brought his phone with him, but tried really hard not to stare at it.

He took his phone and put it on the chair next to him before taking out his guitar and sheet music. He set up the papers on a music stand started strumming away at the strings, working through the chords.

By the time Derek came down to join him, Blaine was just about finished with the chords.

"Hello, boyfriend," Derek greeted with a smile and a kiss.

"Finished with Calculus?"

"Yeah. Sorry it took so long. The last problem gave me more trouble than I thought."

"No worries." Blaine smiled. He glanced down at his phone. Still no calls.

"Did you talk to Kurt today?"

"For a few seconds."

"How was his first day back?" Derek asked, genuinly curious.

"He said it was great, but I didn't get a chance to talk to him. He was busy with… something. I don't know. He couldn't talk." Blaine sounded a little anxious towards the tail end of his comment.

Derek overlooked the obvious change in Blaine's tone. "What are you working on?" He asked pointed at the guitar.

"All That You Are by the Goo Goo Dolls."

"Ooo! Good song!"

"It is." Blaine didn't say that the song reminded him of his friendship with Kurt. It summed up his feelings perfectly.

"Play it for me?"

"Uh. Sure." Blaine set the guitar back on his thigh and began strumming.

And I feel all the faint morning light

Filled with hope cause you're here in my life

And we've gone from the edge of our souls

Made it back to a place we call home

You see me through

I was alone in the dark and the fear was my truth

Yeah all the things that you are

Beautifully broken alive in my heart

I know that you are everything

Let your heart sing and tonight

You light up the stars

All that you are

I feel wrong

I'm so human and flawed

I break down even though I'm still strong

And time will make fools of us all

Build us up and then laugh when we fall

You pull me through

when I'm alone in the dark and the fear is my truth

Yeah all the things that you are

Beautifully broken alive in my heart

I know that you are everything

Let your heart sing and tonight

You light up the stars

All that you are

You're the sound of the dance

And the faith that I've lost

The answers I'm seeking no matter the cost

You opened the window

Now I can see

You taught me forgiveness by giving you love back to me

Yeah all the things that you are

Beautifully broken alive in my heart

I know that you are everything

Let your heart sing and tonight

Yeah all the things that you are

Beautifully broken alive in my heart

I know that you are everything

Let your heart sing and tonight

Let your heart sing and tonight you light up the stars

All that you are

All I feel, all the faint morning light

Filled with hope cause you're here in my life.

He came to the end of the song and looked to Derek for approval. Derek looked as though he were holding back tears. Blaine put down his guitar gently. "What's the matter?" he asked.

"That was beautiful," Derek answered. He swung his arms around Blaine's neck. "I love you!"

"I love you too, but I didn't think that it was good enough to bring you to tears." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Blaine understood why Derek was moved to tears. He thinks I was singing about him. How stupid am I? I said he could come listen and then I sing a song about how much another person means to me. Of course he would think this was for him. I'm such an idiot.

"You underestimate yourself, mister." Derek backed up and sat normally again.

"Can I ask you something?" Blaine asked.

"Of course."

"If you think that I'm in love with Kurt, then why are you with me?" Derek merely stared. He didn't say anything. After what Blaine thought was a long enough silence, he continued speaking. "It just seems a little strange to me. You said that it was okay to have feelings for other people as long as I loved you first, but it seems to me that even if I loved to you first, it wouldn't help the situation if I had a second or third. I should only have one."

"But you don't."

"You don't know that."

"I do."

"No you don't because I don't even know that. I love you."

"I know I keep pushing the issue and I'm sorry, but I just can't shake the feeling that I'm not the only one in your heart. Take this song for example. It was beautiful. It really was. I thought for a second that we had a moment together that didn't involve fighting like this, but now I'm not so sure."

"Don't forget that we started fighting because you put the idea that I might have feelings for Kurt in my head."

"Was this song about us?"

"It was a song. Just a song."

"So you weren't singing a song for me? You were singing a song with me in the room?"

"Don't make it sound like that. You're my boyfriend. I like it when you're around to hear me sing."

"Do you really want me to be your boyfriend?"

"Derek! Why would you even ask me that? If I didn't want you to be with me, I wouldn't be telling you I love you. God, I feel like we keep having this argument. Do you think that I'm going to leave you?"

Derek's eyes started welling again, but this time there wasn't a happiness in them. "Yes. I think that one day you'll figure out that you are in love with Kurt and want him instead. I can't ask you to promise me that won't happen because I know that it's stupid to ask."

"Why can't we just be happy with what we have now?"

"What ? ! That's like saying that you know that you and I are doomed from the start and to just enjoy our remaining time."

"That's not what I meant."

"That's how it sounds."

Blaine put his head in his hands. "I really am sick of arguing about this."

"You started it this time."

"I know. I know. I'm sorry. It is my fault this time. I just…" He sat slouched over and started talking animatedly, with his hands. "I don't know how to move forward from this. I want to. I want us to move on and be like we were, but I don't know how. I don't know how to convince you that I love you and only you."

"You can't."

"What do you want? From me? From this?" He gestured to the empty space between them.

"Honesty."

"I am being honest."

"Then can you honestly tell me that you don't have feelings for Kurt?"

"Why do you want to know that? What is that going to prove? That you're right? That you really have a reason to be jealous? You don't have a reason to be jealous. I'm with you, not him."

"You're deflecting."

"I'm not."

"It was a yes or no question and you answered me with four more questions. So, I'll ask again. Yes or no- do you have feelings for Kurt?"

"How is that-"

"Yes or no."

"It's not-"

"Yes or no, Blaine."

"Fine. Yes. Yes I have feelings for Kurt. Yes I hate that he isn't here at Dalton anymore and yes it hurts that I don't see him everyday, but no I do not want you being jealous over it because you're first." Blaine took Derek's hands. "He's my best friend. I care about him because he's my best friend."

Derek was sitting very still and breathing very slowly. A tear rolled down his cheek.

"Say something," Blaine commanded gently.

"What am I supposed to say? I told you so?"

"Derek…"

"I never thought about what this moment would be like. I don't know what I expected."

"It's not what you think. I love you."

"H-have you kissed him?"

"No! Baby, you're not listening. I'm telling you that I love you. I haven't kissed him. I care about him as a friend because he's my best friend."

"I think I need some time."

"What? No! Baby…"

"Blaine, I'm sorry I started this whole thing. I'm sorry I put the idea in your head. But I always knew. You may be just finding this whole thing out now, but I knew all along that you were in love with him."

"Derek stop!" Blaine grabbed Derek by the shoulders. "You're not listening to me!" Derek finally looked Blaine in the eyes. "I'm not letting you break up with me. I love you. I care about Kurt, but I love you. He's my best friend, but you're my boyfriend. Understand that. Get to know that. I love YOU. How else do I have to say that?"

"Don't make this any harder than it has to be." Derek got up and walked to the door.

Blaine didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do. Did we just break up? Minutes had gone by before he knew it and then he found himself running.

He ran out of the room and down the hallways and up staircases until he saw Derek walking down the hallway where his dorm room was. "Don't make this any harder?" He yelled down the hall. Derek stopped and turned to face him. There were other people in the hallway and they suddenly seemed to form two camps on each side of the hallway. No one wanted to be in the way of a lover's quarrel. "It's funny because from where I was sitting, it looked like it was pretty easy for you." He started walking towards Derek who looked like he'd been trying to hold back tears. "Planting an idea in my head and then turning it around against me. Not listening to me when I told you that I loved you. Driving me crazy because you wouldn't say it back." He reached Derek, ignoring the stares from the other boys. "You know what I think? I think you wanted me to break up with you all along, but didn't know how to do it so you made me think that I might have feelings for Kurt." Derek was shaking his head silently. "No? Then tell me. Why? Why are you doing this?"

"Because I can't compete with him!"

"You win! Competition over."

"You can't tell me that you don't want him."

"I've been telling you that all along. You don't listen anymore. You used to know what I was going to say before I said it. Now you don't even listen to the words I'm saying as I'm saying them."

"It's him."

"It's not him. It's you. You're obsessed with this stupid notion."

"It's not stupid. It's true. You can love me and you can have feelings for someone else, but I can't be with you if you love him too."

"That doesn't even make sense. You know what? Fine. Go. Go to your room and sulk and cry and blame me for your heartache when the reality of it is that I want you. I want to be with you. You're just too stupid to see that." Blaine turned on his feet and stalked off, leaving Derek staring at his back. "What are you looking at?" Blaine shouted at his gawking peers.

Kurt

B- I know you're busy right now, but I really need my best friend right now. I'm freaking out and I don't know what to do.

"Zach, I have to go," Kurt said, looking up from his cell phone.

"Is everything okay?" Zach asked.

"I don't know. Blaine is freaking out."

"Oh. Go ahead."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'll get you on Wednesday, right?"

"Yes. Wednesday I'm all yours." They started walking from the swing set to the bench where their bags were.

"Does he freak out a lot?"

"No. Actually he's, more often than not, Mr. Cool. Something has to be huge for him freak out."

"I'm sure it has nothing to do with that fact that you weren't there today."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kurt asked annoyed.

"Oh I didn't mean it like that. It's just that you two are used to seeing each other everyday. You must be his rock or something if he never freaks out until you're not around."

Kurt didn't know how to answer. Maybe it was because anything that involved Blaine was a touchy subject. He was in love with Blaine, but he was also his best friend and he wasn't about to deny Blaine his rights as the best friend because he didn't want anyone to know of his love for him. "Wow."

"What?" Zach asked curiously.

"You were really on a roll until those last two comments. I admit, you had me going with all the one liners and sweet flirtations, but I get it now. You'll say all those things to keep me from everything else. I have other friends. Blaine being one of them. He's my best friend in fact. I may be in love with him, but you know what? The past two days, I actually forgot all about that because of you. I'm not having the time of my life dealing with my unrequited feelings for Blaine, but you didn't have to rub them in my face to remind me of that."

"Wait…! Hold on!" Zach grabbed Kurt's bag before Kurt did and held it out of Kurt's reach. "I don't know how to respond to what you just said because none of that is true. I'm sorry if you think that's what I'm doing, but it isn't. I'm trying to be sympathetic. I know he's your best friend. I know you're in love with him. Do you have any idea how hard it is being the guy trying to woo the guy who has feelings for someone else? Really hard. I'm not trying to get you to forget about him. That's why I said what I did. I'm not stopping you from going." He handed Kurt his messenger bag without Kurt asking for it. "I like you, Kurt. A lot. I don't want to erase Blaine from your life. I'm sorry you took it that way."

Kurt was embarrassed. He just wanted to rush to Blaine and help him. His slung the bad over his shoulder and darted his eyes around, looking everywhere, but at Zach. "You must think I'm psychotic for jumping on you like that."

"No I think you care a lot about your best friend. These things are never easy."

"I wish it were easier."

"You said that you forgot about your feelings for Blaine because of me?" Zach asked with a small smile.

"You like me a lot?"

"Didn't you know that already?"

Kurt blushed. "I didn't think about it."

"Why not?"

"Because I was too busy thinking about how I like you… too."

"You do?" Kurt closed his eyes and nodded. When he opened his eyes he saw Zach smiling with his mouth closed. "So you don't hate me and think that I'm keeping you from Blaine?" Kurt shook his head. "Good. So I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"Can I walk you to your car?"

"Please do."

Zach grabbed his back pack and weaved his arms in the arm holes. Then he reached forward and linked his hand in Kurt's. "Is this okay?"

Kurt beamed. He lost words again, so he settled for nodding his head rapidly. When they reached Kurt's car, Zach opened the door for Kurt. "Thank you."

"I'm trying to be a gentleman."

"You're succeeding."

"Nah."

"You're not?"

"No."

"Why aren't you?"

"Because a gentleman doesn't do this without asking." Zach leaned forward, arching his neck slightly and placed a soft kiss on Kurt's cheek.

Kurt smiled and blushed. "I have to go."

"Have fun."

When Kurt was about to get into the car he stopped and turned back to Zach. "For the record… If you did ask… I would have said yes." He turned back to his car and crawled in the driver's seat.

Zach shut the door for him and watched him drive off.

When Kurt came to the end of the parking lot, he stopped at the stop sign and pulled out his cell phone. K- I'm on my way. Be there soon.