Kurt

Kurt woke up on Sunday feeling extremely rested. For the first time, in a long time, Kurt realized that he had nothing to do that day. He had no prior engagements. His Sunday turned out to be a relaxing day. He slept in and made himself a simple breakfast when he woke up. He planned out his outfits for the week. He went out shopping with Carol to get her a few new outfits. They went grocery shopping and then baked a pie together for dessert. Dinner was had as a family with his Dad, Finn, and Carol. Then he finished what little homework he had for the weekend. By the day's end, Kurt had a smile on his face. He did his moisturizing routine while listening to upbeat music and tapping his foot while he massaged his face with lotions.

Before bed, he took out his laptop and began looking at the up coming fashions on a discount website that he frequented. Kurt saw a few things he thought were fabulous and made a mental note to ask his dad if he could make some purchases soon in exchange for labor at the shop. About ten minutes into looking, an AIM message popped up from Karofsky.

D- How's your head?

K- Fine…? I don't remember hitting it.

D- Hangover?

K- No. I told you I wasn't drunk. How was your weekend?

D- Boring until I got this random text from some guy that needed a ride home.

K- Was he cute? Lol

D- Very. He asked me to blow him, but I told him that I wasn't that type of guy.

K- I did not!

D- Lol Okay, maybe I made the last part up.

K- Maybe?

D-Wishful thinking I guess.

K- Please tell me you're joking.

D- I'm joking? Lol

K- Stop. I don't wanna know if you want to blow me. It'd be weird.

Kurt made a face at the screen like he was uncomfortable. Another screen popped up from a screen name he didn't recognize and the first line told him it was Zach.

Z- Hi! It's Zach. I stole your sn from your facebook page. I hope that's all right.

Kurt was tempted to try to flirt and say something like "You can steal anything you want from me," but he was too shy to do it. K- that's more than all right.

Z- : ) good. So, have you decided where you wanted to go?

K- Go?

Z- I asked you last night if you wanted to do something with me… Did you change your mind? Or were you just being nice?

K- OMG I'm sorry. No, I definitely want to go do something. I misunderstood the question. Eek! Sorry.

Z- Oh thank God! For a minute I was about to cry.

K- I'm sorry.

Z- I know this tea shop in the next town over that makes their own tea. It's next to an old fashioned movie theater that plays the classics. Is that something you'd like to do?

K- I'd love to. : ) And I know which one you're talking about. I go there to see the Sound of Music every year.

Z- When would you want to go?

K- Any day, but Friday.

Z- Wednesday?

K- It's a date. He hit send and immediately regretted doing so. What if it's not a date? He thought quickly.

Z- I'm glad you said it because I was too nervous to ask.

K- So it is a date?

Z- If you want it to be.

K- I want it to be. Do you want it to be?

Z- I definitely want it to be.

Kurt was blushing. My first date! He saw the light blinking on the other window to signify that Dave had replied to his PM. While Kurt was messaging Zach, Dave had sent more than a few messages, most of them asking where he went.

D- Kurt, I take it back if it bothers you that much.

K- Oh sorry. I was distracted. Don't worry about it.

D- Where did you go?

K- No where. I was talking to Zach.

D- What did he want?

K- Just hammering out the details of our date this week.

D- Who asked who?

K- He asked me : )

D- So you're going because you actually want to?

K- Yes. I'd ask you why you're asking me all this, but I don't feel like getting into an argument.

D- Can I ask you a question?

K- Maybe. Is it going to make me uncomfortable?

D- Probably.

K- Then no.

Zach's window was blinking now and he went back to a conversation that he was enjoying better than his conversation with Karofsky.

Z- You still there?

K- Yeah. Sorry. I was talking to someone else for a second.

Z- Is it weird that I'm jealous?

K- How do you do that and not feel embarrassed? I couldn't flirt if I wanted to.

Z- I doubt that. You don't need words when you have eyes like yours.

K- See? ! You're doing it again. I feel like an idiot blushing to a computer screen.

Z- Now I wish we were skyping because, as I said last night, you have the cutest blush I have ever seen.

K- Are you laughing? Because you're just throwing all of these things at me, knowing I'd be squirming in my seat.

Z- I am getting a bit of enjoyment out of this because I'm picturing you making faces, blushing, and twiddling your fingers nervously.

K- You're not far off from the truth.

Z- How did you get home last night?

K- A friend picked me up.

Kurt switched back to Dave.

D- So you'll definitely be in school tomorrow?

K- Yep : )

D- You know I'll be escorting you to and from classes, right?

K- Yes I know. Bully whips and all that. You're otherwise going to be ignoring me, right?

D- Don't put it like that. You won't be rushing to talk to me either.

K- Only because you don't want me to. All I have to say is that you better stand up to your friends if they say anything to me because I'll have to disown you. I don't care if you don't talk to me. I can put up with that charade, but don't be the old Karofsky. If you don't concern yourself with me or walk past me without saying anything, people aren't going to suspect your homoerotic tendencies.

D- I wish I knew how to have this conversation. I don't know how I'll act with you around again. I just know it won't be the same as if we were sitting in the malt shop. I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry.

K- I'm not mad. I understand. You're not ready. I just know what it's like to be in the closet and it's so much better out of it. It doesn't mean our situation will suck any less.

D- I gotta go. See you tomorrow.

K- Bye.

Dave signed off and Kurt felt bad because he wasn't disappointed. He switched back over to Zach.

Blaine

Blaine woke up Sunday morning in a different mood than Kurt did. While Kurt was well rested and happy, Blaine was stressed out and felt restless. He'd only gotten a few hours of sleep by the time the sun came shining in through his window and onto his face. He'd forgotten to shut his curtains the night before.

He rubbed his eyes and rolled over so that he faced the wall. His first instinct was to call Kurt and tell him all his problems. Kurt would know how to calm him. He would say a few sarcastic quips that would sum up Blaine's issues and make him laugh at the same time and his stress would dissipate. But Blaine knew he couldn't do that because all of his problems stemmed from his feelings for Kurt.

Maybe I should just tell him, he thought. At least, then he'd know why I was acting so strange. Maybe Derek would get off my back if I admit I had feelings for Kurt. But then I'd be worse off than I am now. Derek would be even more jealous than he is now. He said that he'd be okay with it if I had feelings for someone else as long as I loved him first, but I know that isn't true. Who could be okay with the knowledge that they aren't the only one in their loved ones heart? Kurt would probably not want to hang out with me because it would be awkward and I'd hate not being able to be around him or talk to him. What would be the purpose of telling Kurt anyway? I'm with Derek. You tell someone you have feelings for them because you want to be with them. What would I even say? "Hey Kurt, I like you a lot and I think you're the most incredible person I've ever met, but no worries. I just wanted you to know that. Oh, by the way, enjoy your date with Zach. You two should double date with Derek and I sometime." Fuck. I'm an idiot.

In the midst of his thoughts, he heard a quiet tapping on his door. He rolled onto his back. "Come in!" he yelled.

Derek's head popped from behind the door. "Hi," he said meekly. "Can I come in?" Derek sounded obviously embarrassed from his behavior from the previous night.

"I already said you could." Blaine rolled back over to his side and closed his eyes.

Derek sat at the edge of the bed. "I am so sorry, Blaine. I was… I don't even know if there's a word for how I acted."

"I think stupid and ridiculous are good words."

"You're right. I'm sorry."

Blaine heard Derek sniffle and he turned back onto his back. "How could you think that I'm not happy with you? Do you know how upset that makes me? After all the times I say 'I love you,' or give myself to you physically, or choose you over everything else? Do you know how that makes me feel? Am I not good enough? Do I not treat you well enough?"

"No!" Derek cried. "You're the best boyfriend I could have possibly imagined. You're so good to me, but since this Kurt thing started-"

"Kurt thing? You're the one who started it. You're the one who said I was in love with him."

"That's because you are. I can see it. I'm jealous. Can't you see that?"

"You have nothing to be jealous of! I'm with you! You! And you said that even if I did have feelings for him, you were okay with it and you wouldn't be jealous unless I set you up to be. I haven't done anything. I never told you if I felt anything for Kurt and I haven't treated you any differently. I love you. You created your own jealousy, not me, yet I'm the one who has to deal with it."

"I know I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" Derek collapsed on top of Blaine and snuggled himself against him. "I'm sorry. I love you."

Blaine instinctually wrapped his arms around Derek and rubbed his back. "I love you too," he said finally.

Blaine let Derek under the covers and the two boys held onto each other in silence, trading innocent kisses here and there. Derek eventually fell asleep, but as Blaine nuzzled his lips to his boyfriend's hair and listened to his soothing breaths, he thought of Kurt. Kurt, who might soon do these things with someone who wasn't Blaine. Kurt, who kept secrets from Blaine because he cared about his opinion so much. Kurt, who's smile made all of his problems go away.

It's not that he didn't love Derek. He did. Blaine was positive of that. Derek was kind, supportive, and sensitive. He was gorgeous and smart. Derek was everything Blaine could possibly want… except he wasn't Kurt.

Sleep finally found him shortly after Derek woke up and trailed a parade of kisses around Blaine's body. Blaine came twice before he was lulled to sleep with murmurs of "I love you," "don't leave me," and "I'm sorry."