It was nearly midnight and neither Kurt nor Blaine were asleep yet. They had cleaned up and Blaine changed his blankets and threw them in the washing machine in the laundry room downstairs because they'd gotten messy in the process of their lovemaking earlier in the night. But by now, they were both settled into bed under clean blankets, in each other's arms.

Blaine's bed was a single and not meant for two people, but both boys managed to fit in it quite comfortably and still have a little room between them. They laid on their sides and looked at each other dreamily. The moonlight showed in through the window, dimly lighting the room with white light. The pale moonlight made Kurt's skin appear that much lighter and Blaine thought he looked like a doll. There was silence between them and they couldn't help but stare.

Blaine's hand rested on the curve of Kurt's neck and his thumb was tracing the line of his jaw tenderly. Kurt had his arm draped over Blaine's waist. It was simple and comfortable. Nothing was expected of either boy.

"I can't believe I have you," Blaine cooed as he nuzzled his nose to Kurt's.

Kurt opened his eyes, now feeling the sweep of sleepiness come over him, but fighting it to stay in the moment. "Mmm, diddo." He blinked lazily.

"Diddo?" Blaine chuckled. "You must be exhausted."

"Don't wanna sleep." Kurt cuddled closer. "Wanna stay awake with you."

"I'll still be here when you wake up." Blaine held Kurt closer and began to rub Kurt's back soothingly. He was trying to lull Kurt into a slumber because he could tell how tired Kurt was. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise." He meant it. He saw no possible future where Kurt wasn't in it.

"Don't want the moment to end."

"We'll have more moments." He kissed his hair. "Lots and lots of moments." He kept lightly brushing his back.

"Wanna stay in this one." Kurt's breathing was getting deeper and his speech was becoming more and more lazy sounding.

Blaine was smiling with this mouth closed and feeling more close to Kurt than he felt with anyone ever. Amazing what a single act could do for two people. He started to let his thoughts wander and he came to a thought that troubled him. "Kurt?" he asked.

"Mmm?"

"I'm sorry you weren't my first. Everything, I mean."

"Tso-kay." Kurt was almost asleep. Blaine could tell that Kurt had almost no clue what he was saying to Blaine.

"I wish I knew how I felt about you and us sooner. We could have learned how to be boyfriends and lovers for the first time together. We could have learned everything together."

"Mmm." Kurt didn't sound like he was agreeing or disagreeing with Blaine. It was more like he had intentions of saying something, but could only manage a non-committal noise."

Blaine knew that Kurt was almost asleep and just barely awake, but somehow he couldn't really stop himself from talking. "It's overwhelming how much I feel for you. I've never felt more protective of someone and I've never wanted someone to feel proud of me more than you. You know my situation with my family. I'd pretty much just given up on anything ever getting better there, but when I think about those few weeks without you, when I thought you hated me or didn't want me in your life… It seems so much worse. I don't want anyone if I can't have you. I feel so weak because since you entered my life I feel like I can't even be happy without you. Before we met, I thought I was happy because I wasn't getting taunted or beat up anymore, but I know now that I wasn't happy, I was coping. Then you waltzed in. You were beautiful and vulnerable and I didn't know it then, but I was staring at my future. You are my present and future, Kurt. And together, we are just like the way you were the second I saw you: beautiful. Nothing could take that beauty away from you and not one person could take what makes our love beautiful away from us. I love you. Kurt, I love you so much and I want you to always believe that."

He stopped talking, realizing that he was getting emotional and his voice was getting too loud. When he silenced himself he was able to hear the gentle breathing of the boy in his arms and knew that Kurt was asleep. Blaine smiled and breathed deeply, nuzzling his cheek to Kurt and closing his eyes, allowing sleep to find him.

When Kurt woke up the following morning he opened his eyes and found himself still cuddled close to Blaine's chest and really needing to use the restroom. He didn't want to leave the comfort of Blaine's arms, but he really couldn't hold his full bladder in for much longer. He felt lucky enough that Blaine slept like the dead. He wiggled himself free and slid to the end of the bed so that he didn't have to crawl over Blaine to get off of the bed.

He tip toed outside into the hallway, careful not to shut the door loudly. Then he rushed himself down the hall to the bathroom. He was surprised to find that people were already up and showering. He thought it was early, but maybe he was wrong and it was later than he thought.

"You're still here."

Kurt was washing his hands when he heard the voice. He glanced up at the mirror and saw Derek standing behind him in a towel. His skin and hair were wet from having just gotten out of the shower. Kurt didn't answer him. He just turned off the water and grabbed a paper towel to dry his hands.

"K-Kurt, I-" Derek tried again. He appeared like he was holding back. Like moving was a both a struggle and uncomfortable.

Kurt was angry with him. He hadn't done anything to Derek, yet Derek was awful to him. They used to be friends. He didn't steal Blaine away from Derek because Kurt refused Blaine when he thought he was still with Derek. He was never mean to Derek; he never even spoke negatively about him behind his back. But Derek was still holding an anti-Kurt grudge. However, Kurt being Kurt, he was curious and decided to give Derek a chance to say whatever it was he wanted to say. He turned around and leaned his rear on the counter while he crossed his arms across his chest.

Derek looked like he'd been awake all night and was probably just showering at this time of morning because of the hot water and it was a pathetic attempt at masking the bags under his eyes. "I'm sorry," he finally said. "You have every right to hate me."

"I don't hate you. I'm mad at you, but I don't hate or dislike you."

"Why? I pretty much called you a slut and then begged your boyfriend to have sex with me."

"You did?" Kurt squinted. He didn't know what Derek was saying to Blaine last night; he had only heard Blaine yelling for Derek to stop.

Derek cast his eyes down. "Yeah. I'm sorry."

Kurt didn't know what to say. Somehow acting like what Derek did last night was easily forgivable seemed wrong. "Just don't do it again."

"I won't."

"Why did you do it in the first place?" Kurt surprised himself with his question. It had slipped out before he had a chance to process that he had thought it.

"I'm jealous of you. I always have been."

"Me? You're jealous of me?" His eyebrows went up. "Why?"

"Because you have Blaine. You've had Blaine all along and didn't know it until now. I couldn't believe it when he said he'd go out with me." Derek's eyes were expressive now. "And you… I was prepared to hate you, or kiss your ass because I knew that to be with Blaine meant that I had to be with you too. If you hated me then Blaine would hate me, but if I befriended you, then Blaine would think more of me. But then you turned out to be so nice. We had so much in common and I really liked it when you were around. Blaine was a different person when you were in the room. I love the Blaine I knew when he and I were alone, but he came alive when you were around. Happier. I can't compete with that, but I wanted to hang onto him as long as I could. He's special. But I'm sure you already know that. He's everything I could ever want. He's gorgeous, funny, talented, brilliantly smart, and more charming than any fairytale prince."

"Blaine said that you knew he had feelings for me."

"I did know. Everyone knew. Everyone, but the two of you in fact. It was easy to work with for a while, until you mentioned that you were transferring out of here. Blaine couldn't concentrate; you were all he thought about. I thought I could live with the knowledge that he loved you too because he at least loved me back. I'd leave him begging for me to tell him that I loved him. That only fueled my thought that there could be a chance he would choose me over you because sometimes he acted like he needed me to love him."

Kurt's thoughts flew back to Rachel's party and he remembered passing by the bathroom when Derek and Blaine were inside and Blaine was begging Derek to tell him "I love you." He had a whole new view of the scene. This time, in his head, he heard Blaine's voice sounding hurt. Begging for love because he feels like he doesn't have it. If only he knew then what he knows now, Kurt thought. He was loved all along by me.

"But knowing that I felt I had to do that because of you, because Blaine really wanted to hear that you loved him,it only drove me crazy. I don't know why, but after Blaine figured out his feelings for you, I somehow still held onto the thought that he'd choose me. That he'd stay with me and we'd be happy, but I know now that I never stood a chance. Blaine will always choose you over everyone else. He'd put you before himself if he ever had to." He eyed Kurt carefully. "But you already knew that."

Kurt slowly nodded. "I did. I'm sorry that you're hurting. I am. I know what that's like. To feel like you can't have what you want because they're in love with someone else. I felt like that towards you. It seems I've been in love with Blaine since before I met him. Like I was just waiting for him to enter into my life. But I never saw it in his eyes. Or maybe I did and made an excuse to make myself believe that I saw something else. I could never believe that someone like him would want someone like me."

"But he did. You and I aren't so different. Do you know how many times I've heard from people that you and I are almost exactly alike? I know now that he only allowed me in because he thought he could never have you. And if he couldn't have you, then he might be able to have someone like you."

Kurt didn't know how to respond. He just stared.

"Kurt, I was wrong to say those things to you. You didn't deserve it. And I was really wrong for doing what I did last night. You don't have to forgive me, but I just want you to know that I won't bother you two any more. I really wish you both happiness."

"Why?"

"Because you're a good person. Even though he doesn't love me back, I still love Blaine and shouldn't you want the people you love to be happy?"

"What made you change your mind all of a sudden?"

"You. I thought about you and how you handled everything when I was with Blaine. You were so selfless and caring. You even helped me plan his birthday surprise when you knew how it would end. I always thought that Blaine deserved the best and, frankly, you are the best. For him, at least. I know you'll love him the way he wants and deserves and he'll love you the way he always wanted."

The boys stared at each other for a few moments in silence. The rest of the boys that were in the bathroom when Kurt entered had now left and they were alone. The door to the bathroom opened and Blaine walked in rubbing his eyes with one hand and his shower caddy full of toiletries in the other. He stopped and stared at the sight of his ex boyfriend and new boyfriend standing the way they were. "What's going on?" he asked.

Derek took a breath and looked at Blaine. "Nothing. I was just apologizing. I owe you one too. So, I'm sorry. About everything. I'll leave you alone now." He didn't wait for Blaine to answer. Instead, he just walked right past him and out of the bathroom, leaving Kurt and Blaine alone.

Blaine eyes Kurt suspiciously before walking over to him and kissing him on the cheek before putting his stuff on the counter behind Kurt. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Better now that I emptied my bladder."

"You weren't there when I woke up." Clearly Derek was not something Blaine wanted to discuss at the moment. Not when Blaine was changing the subject and making his voice sound adorable. He put his hands on either side of Kurt on the counter and nuzzled his face in the crook of Kurt's neck. "I took a chance that you were in the bathroom. I'm glad I was right."

"I was trying not to wake you. I would have made it back before you woke up, but D-" Blaine cut Kurt off by moving his lips to pressed to Kurt's.

"I don't want to talk about him or anything involving him just yet. My mood will change and I won't be in the mood for what I want now."

Kurt smirked and followed suit. He changed his tone and ignored his thoughts of what he and Derek just talked about. "What do you want now?" Kurt played along.

"A shower." Blaine started peppered kisses around Kurt's neck.

"Didn't you have one last night before I showed up?"

"Yes. But I want another one now."

"Why? You weren't a dirty boy last night." He stifled a laugh because the sentence came out sounding totally fake and unlike himself. It really was nothing that he'd ever normally say. "Ew. That came out wrong."

"I think it came out right."

"You brought more than one towel."

"That because I was hoping you'd join me."

"You want me to take a shower with you?" Kurt blushed and Blaine kissed the corner of his mouth.

"Uh-huh," Blaine offered as an answer. "Please?" He pressed himself to Kurt and dug his lips into the pulse point of Kurt's neck.

Kurt smiled wider and closed his eyes feeling the heat from Blaine's tongue as it probed his skin, and the hardening bulge pressing against his thigh. "Did you need a hand with something?" he asked coyly.

Blaine pulled his head away and looked Kurt in the eyes. His honey eyes melted Kurt immediately. "Definitely."