Dec. 3, 2011, 5:31 p.m.
Bluebird: Chapter 20
E - Words: 3,728 - Last Updated: Dec 03, 2011 Story: Closed - Chapters: 31/? - Created: Sep 09, 2011 - Updated: Dec 03, 2011 551 0 0 0 0
"Dad, can I spend the night at Dalton?" Kurt called his dad at the shop, when the vocal scrimmage was over, because Burt was working late. His fingers were laced with Blaine's and his eyes were glued to the other boy's as well. He felt holding Blaine's hand was the only thing keeping him standing in one spot and not jumping straight up and out of the stratosphere.
"Dalton?" Burt asked. "I thought you and Blaine weren't talking."
"We weren't, but we had the scrimmage today and we got to talking, but with everything going on we didn't get to finish and we wanted to work through everything in person and we didn't want to limit ourselves with time. Please, Dad?"
"His boyfriend doesn't care that you'd be sleeping in Blaine's room?"
"Uh, no. He doesn't care at all," Kurt lied. Two things were wrong with Kurt's lie. One, Derek was no longer Blaine's boyfriend, and two, Derek most certainly did care. In fact, he proved that he did care in the lobby earlier that afternoon when he verbally attacked Kurt.
"Sure, I guess," Burt said slowly. "Just be at the shop by noon. You promised to help me, remember?"
"I promise. I'll be at the shop by noon and ready to help with whatever you want. Thanks, Dad. Really. You don't know what this means to me."
"Okay. Be good. Love you, Kiddo."
"Love you too, Dad." Kurt quickly ended the phone and almost squealed when he jumped into Blaine's arms. "I have to drop off Finn at the house and pick up some clothes for the night, but I'll be right over afterward."
Blaine gave Kurt a kiss. He was smiling happily. He hadn't felt this excited since he was a kid and his parents took the entire family to Disney World. "Don't take too long, okay?"
"I won't," Kurt smiled and gave a kiss back to Blaine. He bit the tiniest part of his bottom lip and stared into Blaine's eyes again. It was strange how Blaine's honey colored eyes always hypnotized Kurt, but now that he was actually allowed to look for prolonged periods of time, he couldn't force himself to look away.
Blaine giggled. "Go!" He pushed Kurt's slender body away. "The sooner you leave, the sooner I see you again."
"Kurt!" Finn was calling from Kurt's car down the lot.
Kurt smiled widely. "Ah!" He was touching Blaine again and both of their hearts were fluttering like hummingbird hearts. "I can't let you go," he laughed.
"I know. Me neither. But-"
"Blaine! Come on!" Nick yelled from inside the car. "You'll see him in an hour! I have a date I got to get ready for."
Both boys giggled and gave each other one last peck on the lips before pushing the other one away and saying "bye" very fast. Kurt ran to his car without looking back, not seeing Blaine watch him run away with a smile on his face. Blaine was in the kind of mood that makes you want to laugh when nothing's funny and hum when there's no music to hum to.
"Blaine! He's gone. Let's go!" Nick yelled, breaking Blaine from his reverie. The short baritone laughed to himself and walked around to the driver's side of the car.
In exactly one hour and six minutes, Kurt was knocking on Blaine's dorm room door. Blaine opened the door, out of his uniform and now in a pair of jeans rolled up at the cuff and a white and green striped t-shirt that he tucked into his jeans. His excitement still hadn't left him.
"Can I come in?" Kurt asked holding a designer duffle bag.
Blaine had froze and was standing in the doorway staring at Kurt. "Yes. Sorry. Yes. Come in." Blaine held his hand out, offering to take the bag from Kurt.
Kurt handed the bag over and stepped inside. He shut the door behind him while Blaine put the bag down on his desk chair. For a second they merely stared at each other. "Do I get a hug 'hello'?" he asked with a hint of innocence to his voice, but he was going for flirtatious.
Blaine didn't hesitate to cross back across the room to Kurt and enveloped the taller boy in his arms. His heart was thumping again as it had before Kurt had driven away. "You smell really good." He ran one hand up and down Kurt's back soothingly before clutching him tighter.
"I love you so much," Kurt said while exhaling.
"God, I love you too." Blaine sounded like he still couldn't believe that Kurt was here, in his arms, telling him that he loved him back. They stayed that way, holding each other, for a few more minutes. "So what do you want to do? I know it's been a while since we've hung out, but…" he wasn't sure how to finish his sentence.
"Um…" Kurt thought. "I don't know. We do have all night." He smiled.
"Movie?" Blaine suggested.
"Comedy?"
"Rom-Com?"
"Eh." Kurt made an unsure face.
"Classic Comedy?"
"Kevin Smith?"
"Dogma?"
"Perfect." Kurt smiled again.
Blaine went over to his vast movie collection and selected the movie jacket. Kurt stayed still while Blaine was getting everything ready. He found that he didn't know where to sit. When they were friends they sat on the floor together or on the bed together, but now that they were more than friends, Kurt wasn't sure if sitting on the bed before being invited to made it seem like he was asking for something.
"What are you doing?" Blaine asked.
"Uh… zoning out?"
"Oh." Blaine began dragging out a very large bean bag chair, that was big enough to probably lounge three people, from his closet.
"When did you get that?" Kurt asked.
"About a month ago, I think. Mom and Dad got it for me. I'm not sure why." He set it up next to his bed, against a set a drawers, then plopped him self down in it. "Come on." He patted the fabric next to him.
Kurt smiled and joined him. He sat down and Blaine immediately put his arm around Kurt and curled Kurt in a little. Kurt put his head on Blaine's shoulder.
As the movie started and went on, Kurt found it hard to concentrate on the film. He was too busy glancing around at Blaine's freehand and Blaine's legs, listening to Blaine's heartbeat, concentrating on anything and everything that had to do with Blaine. Halfway through, Blaine started to notice that Kurt hadn't moved and he wasn't particularly laughing at the funny parts. "Is everything okay?" Blaine asked.
"Yeah. Fine. Why?"
"You're quiet. You sure this is okay? I know cuddling is something new to us. I don't want to make you uncomfortable." Blaine was talking very fast like he was self-conscious.
"No. No." Kurt leaned himself out of Blaine's arm to look Blaine in the face. "No. I'm not uncomfortable. I was just thinking. Maybe I'm a little overwhelmed?" He said the last statement like a question, as if he were asking permission to feel overwhelmed.
Blaine looked concerned. "Why? Was it something I did?"
"N-no!" Kurt stuttered. "It's not you at all. I guess I'm just nervous. I've never just- um, cuddled with someone. Also, I'm having a hard time grasping reality that two hours ago it hurt to look at you and now we're cuddling and kissing and I'm spending the night with you."
"Oh… Is it weird? I can try to keep my hands off you as much and we don't have to sleep in the same bed if you're not comfortable."
"No. No! Blaine, it's okay. It's all fine. It's just new for me. I like touching you and kissing you and I want to sleep with- I mean- in the same bed as you."
Blaine took a second and sighed as he thought. "I don't remember things being this complicated when we were friends. Does this seem a little uncomfortable to you?"
"Maybe a little, but not in the sense that I don't like or want it."
"Me too."
"It's just, you said it, complicated. We went from best friends and fluidity to arguing and then not talking for a while. Now we're…what are we exactly?"
"You mean title wise?"
"Yes. Are we together or…?"
"I love you," Blaine quickly confessed
"I love you too."
"I don't want anyone else."
"Me neither."
"So you want to be a couple? Like exclusive?"
"Does that mean I'd get to call you my boyfriend?" Kurt asked with his eyebrows raised.
"Only if I can call you mine."
"Then yes. Yes I want to be a couple."
Blaine smiled wide, his eyes sparkling. "Good. Now, what else?"
"Else?"
"What else is making this so awkward for us?"
"I'm not sure. Maybe it's because we spent so much time apart that we don't know how to be around each other anymore."
"Do you think we're moving too fast?"
"No! I think it'd be silly to go back to being friends and work on friendship when we both knew that a relationship is what we wanted."
"So what do you think we should do?"
"I was hoping you can tell me. You're the relationship expert."
"I'm not an expert."
"I only mean that you've had relationships before and I haven't."
"I've never had one with you before."
"Are they all different?"
"Yes. But that's not really the point."
"Then what is?"
"Kurt… As far as I'm concerned, you're the last relationship I want. I don't know how weird that sounds, but I love you because of who you are and love how you act. I don't want you to think you have to act any differently because we're in a relationship. I'm just excited because now I get my best friend to hang out with AND I get to kiss him." Blaine smiled playfully at the end of his speech.
"Really? I don't have to- You want me to-"
Blaine covered Kurt's hands with his own in Kurt's lap. "I want you to be exactly as you are and no different. Anything else would be false and being in a relationship is all about trust and honesty and comfort ability."
"So, we get to go back to how we were before we were fighting except I get to do this?" Kurt leaned forward with a coy expression and placed a soft kiss on Blaine's lips.
"Absolutely. You can do that anytime you want. It also means that I can do this." Blaine knelt up and cupped the side of Kurt's face. He parted his lips and captured Kurt's top lip between his own. There was a collective sigh between both boys and they melted into the beanbag chair with Blaine hovering above Kurt. Blaine started peppering kisses on Kurt's lips gently by maneuvering push-ups from the waist up.
Kurt was feeling tingles all over his body and he could feel the spread of goose bumps starting at his scalp and ending at his toes. He heart was sounding off slow and tough in his chest. He was finding that his breathing was becoming labored in a way that had never happened with Zach before. With Zach, Kurt had lost his breath on occasion, but that was only because he wasn't coming up for air after too long. This was a different feeling entirely. Kurt's entire body was warm.
Kurt brought his hands up to Blaine's waist and fisted his hands with Blaine's t-shirt. Blaine's breath hitched when he felt Kurt's gentle fingers through his thin cotton shirt. He kissed Kurt deeper, stopping his tiny chaste kisses and moving on to open mouthed ones and dipping his head to the side to find the best way to kiss Kurt deeper. Blaine could feel the tension rising slowly, but was so swept up in emotion and kissing Kurt felt so damn good that he didn't want to stop.
Then Kurt was tugging Blaine's shirt out of his jeans and raising it up his back. He didn't stop pushing it up until Blaine realized Kurt was trying to take it off of Blaine and Blaine let him, collapsing his upper body on top of Kurt after the cloth was removed and kissing him harder. Kurt fanned his fingers out on Blaine's bare skin. Blaine was warm too. Kurt could feel every muscle in Blaine's back; every bone in his spine; he was perfect.
Blaine was now fully on top of Kurt, one leg lay between Kurt's. One arm snaked it's way down under to the small of Kurt's back, pulling him as close as possible, while the other arm was above Kurt's head to keep some of his body weight off of Kurt's chest. They were kissing harder and harder, their lips not stopping for a second and their tongues exploring the other's mouth as if they were trying to memorize everything about the other person's.
Blaine gave another pull of Kurt's waist and his thigh pressed against Kurt's growing arousal. Kurt moaned the sexiest noise Blaine had ever heard and he became aware of his already hard cock. He desperately wanted to grind his hips down, but his inner voice began telling him to slow down. Kurt rolled his body below Blaine and Blaine's eyes rolled back behind his head when he felt Kurt's hips being ground into his cock. "Uhng," he moaned into Kurt's mouth. Kurt moaned again and Blaine was now able to feel Kurt's erect member on his thigh and his conscience snapped back into his mind. He slithered off of Kurt's body and sat up, trying to hide his erection, but peeking slightly to see Kurt's bulge pressing against his tight jeans.
"Wuh- what's the matter?" Kurt asked, out of breath and quickly sitting up.
Blaine was out of breath too. "I think we should cool down a bit." Blaine reached across Kurt's feet to retrieve his shirt. He tugged it over his head and slipped his arms through.
"Why?" Kurt touched Blaine's knee. And Blaine immediately shot his eyes down to look at Kurt's hand.
Blaine swallowed hard. He took a few seconds before answering, but he finally turned his head and looked Kurt in the face. His cheeks were flushed an adorable dark pink color and his lips were kiss swollen and bruised, while his eyes appeared to be even brighter than they previously were. In short, Kurt looked excited and alive, but the way his eye brows were angled told Blaine that his abrupt stop in their actions made Kurt self conscious. "I-I'm- um…"
"It was okay, right?"
"Oh God, yes! Kurt, that was amazing, and thrilling, and God, you're such a good kisser. I-" He bit his lower lip in thought.
Kurt pulled his knees up to his chest. "I could feel how excited you were. I thought it was encouraging or something." He was trying to sound light hearted in his attempt at small pillow talk, but there was a hint of reservation.
"I know," Blaine finally answered. "I could feel you too." He smirked a little. "The thing is… I don't want to rush you. I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything before you're ready."
"But I wanted to."
"To do what exactly?" Blaine asked innocently.
Kurt paused, thinking. "Well. I guess I don't know."
"See? If we can't say it out loud, then maybe we shouldn't be doing it yet."
"Doing what?"
"Anything. Kurt, I want to do this," he gestured to the empty space between them, "right. I don't want to screw us up, by jumping into something we're not ready for. Or more specifically, something you're not ready for. I may not be a virgin, but you are and we've only been together for, like, almost three hours. I love you, but-"
"No. Don't say 'but.' Say you love me and start a new sentence that doesn't negate the I love you part."
Blaine, now completely deflated, turned his entire body towards Kurt and looked at his boyfriend disbelievingly. "Kurt, don't ever think that I'd negate how much I love you. I say it and I mean it every time. We're real, you and me. This isn't a dream and I'm not going anywhere."
Kurt looked down at his feet again, knowing that Blaine knew exactly what Kurt was really thinking. Through all of their time apart, Blaine still knew everything there was to Kurt. He still knew how to read his mind and how to sort through all his hidden meanings instantly. Kurt couldn't say Blaine was wrong because he wasn't. There was a part of him that still believe that all of this had to be a dream and there was no way that he was sitting with Blaine, who was now his boyfriend and confessing his love for him. None of this could be true. It has to be a sick dream that he's going to wake up from and find that he and Blaine still aren't talking and Blaine is still with Derek. But it wasn't. Blaine was sitting there telling him it wasn't a dream and that it was real. It was truth that Blaine loved Kurt and truth that he wasn't going to leave anytime soon.
Blaine cupped Kurt's cheek and brought Kurt's face level with his own so that they were eye to eye. "I'm not going anyway. I'm right here with you, right now," He brought one of Kurt's hands up to his chest and covered his own heart, "and I'm going to stay here until you force me to go away."
Kurt knelt up and wrapped his arms around Blaine. He felt his eyes threatening to release a few tears, but he pushed them back because he wasn't sad. He was just overwhelmed. "I missed you so much."
Blaine hugged him back tightly and buried his face in Kurt's neck. He kissed the sensitive skin gently and said, "I missed you too. I'm sorry I acted the way I did and I'm sorry I was so afraid to search my feelings for you before now. I never want to be apart from you again, no matter how short the time span is."
Then, just like that, Kurt knew everything would be okay. He didn't have to be self conscious anymore and he didn't have to think that either one of them was a different person because Blaine was right in the beginning: Kurt was Blaine's best friend and the only difference now is that they get to make out. Comfort ability. That's the trade off. They could have dinner together and talk about gossip while they held hands. They could lay next to each other in Kurt's bed surrounded by Vogue magazines and share a pint of ice cream before kissing each other good night. They could so all the things they used to as friends and then some. Kurt didn't have to be or do anything that he normally wouldn't because Blaine wanted Kurt just as he was. His doubt melted away and he was Kurt again. He was Kurt with Blaine, his best friend and boyfriend. "I love you." He let go of Blaine and kissed him tenderly on the lips. "So no sex?"
"Not until you're ready. Not even touching or grinding until we're ready for that step together. And no pressure. There's no rush. I'm not going to leave you or fantasize about someone else. I love you and I want you when the time is right. I can wait because you're worth the wait."
"Promise?"
"Would I lie to you?"
"No."
"And who's to say that when you feel like you're ready for the next step, maybe I won't be. Maybe I'll still think it was too soon. Take right now, for example. If I only cared about sex, I could have let you keep undressing me and grinding your body against mine until I came in my pants, but I didn't because I knew neither one of us were ready, despite my screaming hormones to let you hump the shit out of me."
Kurt giggled and blushed. A flash of Zach rushed through Blaine's mind. "You know how I know that you and me are meant for one another?"
"How?" Kurt said with a roll of his eyes.
"Zach said this thing about wanting to see you smile and see pure happiness through your eyes and I said that I would give anything to see that look on your face again. I see it now. I always see it when you're with me. Now, you could have had Zach and he's a good guy, but you never looked at him that way you're looking at me now."
"And you never talked to Derek with as much passion as you are me."
"That's because I've never been passionate about Derek. It's always been you, even when I couldn't see it. Kurt, this feeling I have, it's-. I can't even describe it." He smiled widely. "It's exciting and hot electricity is coursing through me. I've easily never felt this way. I love you and I feel like that's the only thing I can say and even a phrase of that magnitude is still an understatement. God, Kurt. I just- I just love you!"
Kurt giggled again, feeling exactly what Blaine was and becoming giddy. He kissed Blaine on the cheek and wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck. "I love you too!" He closed his eyes and they stayed together tightly like that for minutes before Kurt broke the silence. "Can we stay this happy forever?"
"Is that a question or a request?"
"Request."
"Then yes. Yes."
The sound of the end credits for the movie alerted them of just how long they'd been kissing and then talking for. Blaine glanced at the screen and then back at Kurt. They were still smiling rather goofily at each other. "I think the cafeteria might still be open if you want to get some ice cream."
"Can we walk to the store down the street instead? We can buy magazines too." Clearly the magazine part was what really made Kurt happy about ice cream with Blaine.
"Of course," Blaine said with a smile. He decided then that he'd forever be giving Kurt whatever he wanted because to love Kurt Hummel meant to fall completely and his happiness was Blaine's. Kurt felt the same way about Blaine: to make Blaine happy was making himself happy.
A half hour later found them sitting side by side in Blaine's bed, widthwise, with a pint of ice cream balancing between them, one spoon, their feet dangling off the edge of the bed, and a magazine in hand each. Kurt flipped through Elle while Blaine studied Harpers Bizarre. Every once in a while, some part of their bodies would touch and they'd glance at each other with a smirk and sometimes a peck on the lips or cheek, knowing this is how it should have been all along.