~Marcus Aurelius~

Out of sight out of mind.

Blaine pondered that old saying while he stood in front of Kurt’s house, well, his dad’s house with his finger poised over the doorbell. Out of sight out of mind, had to be the most ridiculous saying known to man. Kurt had been gone for a day and he could think of nothing else. Just give it time, would be the advice given. Blaine suspected that he could be given a millennium and he would still be thinking of Kurt. Thinking about his laugh, his smile. The way he would purse his lips and give you a ’bitch please’ glare. Kurt’s plane had taken him back to New York early this morning and he could still feel him. He still felt the pressure and warmth of Kurt’s fingers where they had clenched into his back when they were in the Dalton showers. The showers where his body had pushed against Kurt’s. Where it would have been so easy to slip his hands inside of Kurt shirt so he could feel that that soft skin under his hands and… No, no, no! Stop! He couldn’t let his mind go there when he was about to face his dad and step mother. He should be working on perfecting his, must forget Kurt campaign, right about now. Instead, he was about to walk into a house that had traces of Kurt in every nook and cranny.

His hand froze just before it pushed the doorbell. He should not be here. Why did Kurt ask him to come? Blaine took a step back. “Out of sight out of mind.” He whispered. And almost had a heart attack when the door flew open.

“Hi! You must be Blaine. I’m Carol, Kurt’s step mom.” She reached out, grabbed his elbow, and gently guided him through the front door. “Sweetie, I’m sorry I surprised you like that. I have some cookies that are about to come out of the oven. So I had to speed the process along a bit.”

“I’m sorry Mrs. Hummel, I just wasn’t sure if I could…”

Carol patted his shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, I understand. Burt is at a dinner meeting but will be home soon. You can go ahead and head up to Kurt’s room if you would like. You know the way right?”

Kurt’s room. Just the thought of being back in there left Blaine nervous and excited. He could just picture Kurt’s family having to pry him away from the bed while he yelled at them, ’But I can still smell him!’ That probably would not be the best impression to leave.

“Yes ma’am, I know the way. Thank you.”

You’re very welcome, and it’s Carol.” She smiled and turned to go back into the kitchen.

Blaine walked up the stairs and came to the door to Kurt’s room. He didn’t know what was waiting for him on the other side but it was important to Kurt, so of course it was important to him. He turned the handle and went inside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day earlier:

Blaine’s dream was filled with images of a steam-filled room. Warm water poured over him as he held Kurt in his arms. Blaine’s body was as naked as his desire for this man. His mouth left a trail of kisses from Kurt’s sweet mouth to his ear where Blaine whispered his want, his need. That was when he woke up, but didn’t open his eyes. He willed the images to stay. And of course they did, because that hadn’t just been a dream, it was a memory. Yesterday had been one of the best and worst days of his young life. It was almost too much to think about. In one day he had gained Kurt and also lost him.

He finally let his eyes open and looked across the room. Jeff’s bed was empty which meant it was after eight. He was grateful that his roommate had sensed his need for space when he dragged himself to their room last night. He didn’t say a word to Blaine even as he watched him take off his shirt and lay it over his pillow. He crawled into bed and buried his face in the material where he could smell faint traces of Kurt’s cologne. And if Jeff had heard anything that may have resembled crying, he never said a word. So maybe he would let him live after all.

He sat on the side of the bed and tried to figure out what he needed to do today. Some things had been neglected while he was in his Kurt haze. He knew he had to face his parents, mainly his father at some point. So he would make a point of going to the house for dinner. Making up for his skipped classes would have to wait for another day. His number one priority for today was to not think about Kurt. Not call Kurt. Not to text Kurt, and under no circumstances take a shower. The problem was, Blaine discovered, the more you tried to forget something the more you focused on it. Nevertheless, he would not let that stop him! This would be a very productive day, sans Kurt.

Which he spent in his dorm room listening to sad songs and eating ice cream. Which was what he was doing when Jeff came back from his day. He stood at the foot of Blaine’s bed staring.

“Well at least you’re sitting up and taking nourishment.”

“Go away Jeff.”

“Blaine, I don’t want to see you like this again.”

“Like what?”

“Broken. Is it this guy you met? Is it the stuff with your dad? Talk to me.”

Jeff stared at him waiting for an answer. However, Blaine couldn’t find one to give. “Maybe it’s both? When I’m with Kurt I imagine the future I want to have. When I talk to my dad I see the future I’m going to have.”

“Blaine can’t you hear yourself? Whenever you talk about Kurt, you are the guy I knew at Dalton. The one who would have a smile for everyone. The one who could sing in front of hundreds of people with no problem because it made you happy. Also, it was just a hell of a lot of fun.” Jeff walked over and sat down beside him. “When you talk about your dad you remind me of that broken kid who first came to Dalton. The one who hid his reality because he had the shit kicked out of him for it. Guess which one I would rather see?”

“Do you really expect me to change my entire life for some guy I’ve only known for a week?”

“Why not? Maybe you should live your life for you and not your father.”

Jeff’s ‘why not’ played repeatedly in his mind. Why not? Was he brave enough? Could he find the strength to fight for himself one more time? Later as he crawled back into bed, he wondered what Kurt was doing right at that moment. Had he been more successful than Blaine at trying to forget?

Why not. Why not. Why not. Was Kurt worth changing his life for? From the moment he had met him it was as if they belonged. Like he was finally home. Maybe if he had more time to get to know Kurt. Actually, you know, dated him he could see some logic to leaving everything behind for him. But as it was it just didn’t make sense to do that for a guy he didn’t really know. Maybe love at first sight really did exist but that did not always mean happily ever after went with it.

He watched the sun setting outside his window, which invariably led his thoughts to last night. Blaine had imagined the first time he would kiss Kurt. He had imagined the first time he would be naked with him. He had never imagined that they would happen at the same time. He smiled at the memory. He wanted to be back in that moment. Watching the sunset with Kurt. Their arms around each other as they watched the world change before their eyes. He took those images with him as he drifted to sleep.

There were two texts waiting for him when he woke up that morning.

6:57am Kurt: “On my way to the airport. They’re playing Katy Perry on the radio. It seems the universe is making it impossible not to think about you.”

7:21am Kurt: “Blaine there is a guy at the airport shining shoes. He has peach colored polish. Peach colored Blaine!”

Blaine glanced at his clock. That was it, Kurt was gone. He dragged himself to the shower where he found out, you cannot wash away heartbreak. When he came back, there was another message waiting.

10:07am Kurt: “Real life is not a movie. If it were, you would have run on the plane ten seconds before it took off. You didn’t.”

He threw his phone on the nightstand and covered his face with his hands. This was too much to take! There was a debate raging inside of his mind between logic and heart. His heart ached and longed for Kurt. His heart was telling him to run. Run to Kurt and not think about what he would be giving up for a man he had only known a week. A week! That was what the logical side of the argument was focused on. A week. He was snapped out of his reverie as his phone skittered across the table when it received another text.

11:02am Kurt: "This will be my last text. I left something for you at my dad’s. I let him know, so he will be expecting you. Would you go over today and get it? Please? If I don’t hear back from you after that, I will work on trying to forget you. Which I suspect will be a bit like trying to forget to breathe."

That message haunted him all day. It haunted him during a lunch he could not eat, it haunted him while he tried to hang out and watch the Warbler practice. It stayed with him while he ate dinner with his parents. A dinner, which turned out to be a practice in pretending. Pretending to enjoy a plate of food he couldn’t taste. To carry on a conversation without actually saying a word. To agree with everything that was being said without actually having heard a word. It was Blaine picking at whatever was on his plate while his father picked at him. But at the end of every tasteless bite? At the end of every excuse he offered his father? Was that message from Kurt.

“Five days Blaine! You missed five days of school. And what for? You have a lot to make up for it, you know. And while you do, I want you to ask yourself if it was worth it.”

His father’s words hung heavily in the room. He placed his fork quietly down on the plate and pushed himself away from the table. His parents both stared at him as he stood. “He was. He was worth it.” He answered his mother’s smile with a kiss to her cheek. He nodded at his stunned father and without another word walked out of the house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He stepped inside of Kurt’s room and shut the door behind him.

He noticed a few little differences immediately. Photo’s scattered around the room that hadn’t been there before. He laughed out loud. “Oh, so sneaky Kurt!” Blaine ran his finger over Kurt’s name on the diploma that hung from the wall. There was a picture of Kurt along with Finn and Rachel, all in their cap and gown. Blaine turned to see what other new insights into Kurt’s life he could find. That’s when he spotted a small rectangular box sitting on top of the pillow on the left side of the bed. The message wasn‘t lost on him. “Yes Kurt I remember.” That was the side he had lain, when they almost kissed. The box was silver with a royal purple bow. It was sitting atop a large manila envelope.

He opened the envelope first. Inside he found printed page after page of addresses for local community theater groups, audition dates. Blaine smiled at the second page when he saw a list of all the karaoke bars in Ohio. Next was a list of music courses at the local community college. With the smile still on his face, he looked over at the picture of Kurt with his friends. “So what are you trying to tell me here Kurt?” He put the pages aside and picked up a short hand written note.

Dear Blaine,

Keep singing. Keep dreaming. Live YOUR life to its fullest.

Love,
Kurt

He picked up the box and untied the bow. Inside he found a handmade bow tie, white with red lettering. He laughed even as his eyes filled with tears when he read the embroidered message. On one half were the words: Share Your Voice On the other half was: With the World

He knew this was the moment, the moment when he had to get out of here right now or Kurt’s family really would find him curled up on the bed clutching Kurt’s pillow. He grabbed up all of his things and tried to make a hasty retreat. His foot caught the leg of the night table and a jar of some kind of fancy lotion tumbled to the floor. It rolled toward the slightly ajar closet door. He knelt down to retrieve it and when he stood, he glanced inside. What he saw left him stunned and frozen. Everything that he was holding slipped to the floor.

He took a shaky breath and pulled the door open the rest of the way. Hanging on the back of the door was a white t-shirt, the two printed words hit him in the chest like a punch. LIKES BOYS His heart hammered as he pulled it down. This couldn’t be the shirt from the post card, could it? No, it had to be a coincidence, right? Maybe Kurt saw they same post card he had, and made a replica for himself. That had to be it! He gathered his things from the floor and left.

As he came down the stairs, he could hear Carol and Kurt’s dad talking. As he neared the bottom, Burt came into view. He looked very different from they way he had before. Blaine had only seen him in a hat up until this point. The hat was gone and his flannel shirt replaced by a suit. Blaine’s vision blurred as he flashed on a memory. A memory of a man in a suit who looked very much like Burt Hummel, and a boy with roses. He stumbled down the last step.

“Whoa there! Are you okay Blaine? You’re looking a little pale there kid.”

“Yes sir… I…. Can I ask a favor Mr. Hummel?”

“I guess so.” He grinned. “Kurt made me promise that I would be nice to you when you came, so ask your favor.”

“Could I see a picture of Kurt when he was a kid?”

Burt stared at him for a beat or two, glanced at Carol, and then shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah sure I guess that would be alright. But none of the black mail pictures of him in the tub or anything, because that would just be weird.”

Burt disappeared into the living room and returned holding a photo album. “Okay, here we go. This is a picture of Kurt conducting one of his famous tea parties.”

Blaine grinned and took special note of the bow tie.

“This one, this one is of the two of us picking flowers from the garden. Kurt wanted to give to his mother.” Burt’s voice had softened to a whisper. “She was in the hospital at the time. She never got to see them. Kurt had to leave them at her grave.”

Blaine ran a finger around the edge of the photo. In it was a little boy standing in a garden holding a familar bunch of flowers, staring sadly into the camera. He looked just the way Blaine remembered him. Kurt was the boy with the roses.

“Thank you Mr. Hummel. I…” He had to clear the emotion from his throat before continuing.” I promise not to tease him too much about the tea party picture when I see him.”

“When you see him? Is that going to be happening soon?”

Blaine could not keep the smile from his face. “Yes, I do believe it will be.”

Burt lifted one corner of his mouth as he gave Blaine a smirk. “Well all right then. Tell my boy his old man said, hi.”

He said a quick farewell to both Burt and Carol then made his way to the car. He sat for a second trying to let what just happened sink in for a moment. Then he started laughing. It may not be the best idea to change ones life for a guy you have only known a week. However, doing it for someone you have thought of and cared about since you were seven? Now that was a different story.

He felt like he had awakened from a dream. He felt alive and strong. Like that sixteen year old who had overcome the world trying to beat his truth right out of him. He felt like that kid who would wear his heart on his sleeve and serenade a guy he barely knew in the middle of the GAP. He felt like he could sing a solo in front of the world without nervousness or worry. He felt like he could take New York by storm with Kurt at his side. He felt like he deserved to love Kurt for the rest of his life. He felt like it was time for a move.

Now he had to figure out what to do next. He just hoped Kurt would forgive him for not coming around sooner.