Blaine was crying.

They had driven by this place many times on their way to his grandparents’ house. This was the first time they had ever stopped by the fence surrounding the cemetery. Blaine’s father was digging sodas and sandwiches out of the cooler in the trunk. His mother was trying to find, in her words, ‘appropriate music and not that noisy pop drivel.’ And all the while Blaine couldn’t take his eyes off of the boy in the cemetery. He brought his finger up to the car window and placed it in his line of sight so it appeared to touch the boys shoulder. The boy in the cemetery looked to be only a little older than Blaine’s 7years. He was wearing a suit that looked to be too big on him and he kept wiping his sleeve over his eyes. Blaine watched as the boy looked up at the man standing at his side, who gave a nod and motioned toward the grave in front of them. With one more wipe to his face the boy took the roses that the older man, his father Blaine assumed, offered and walked toward a grave. Blaine watched as the boy knelt down and placed the flowers on top of the newly turned ground. He quickly jumped up and buried his face in his father’s stomach.

Blaine could guess as to why the boy at the grave was crying. But why was Blaine himself crying? He didn’t know what he could do to stop that boy’s tears but he knew that he needed to try. He placed his hand on the door handle and moved to get out of the car.

“Alright is everyone buckled in? It’s time to hit the road.”

Blaine froze, his eyes were still on the boy in the big coat. The boy with the roses. “But he’s so sad. I think he needs me.” He whispered.

“Blaine! Did you hear what I said? Is your seatbelt on?”

Blaine took his hand off of the door handle sat back and buckled himself in. “Yes sir.” Blaine turned away from the window as they drove away. The boy was no longer in his sight but the image of him wouldn’t leave his minds eye for a very long time.

~~~

Years later….

“Excuse me!“ Blaine turned and found himself staring into a pair of blue eyes. Eyes that made him feel as though he were staring into his future. His brain was screaming at him to walk away but he didn’t, not this time. Sometimes he felt as though his life were not made up of the things he had accomplished so far. But by the opportunities he’d missed along the way. So what could it hurt by adding one more missed chance? Especially since even the idea of the future he was contemplating with this young man was doomed before it could begin. He should walk away.

“Um hi, can I ask you a question? I’m new here.”

He hadn’t meant for this to happen. Blaine never meant to fall in love at first sight with someone he would never be able to have. And he certainly never meant to start lying to him within the first thirty seconds of their meeting. He had already felt himself spinning out of control when his day started, one look into those bright with life blue eyes and his spin took him right out of orbit. How did this happen? Because dumb ass, he thought, you wanted to help. All you ever want to do is help people.

“My name is Blaine.”

“Kurt.” The quick smile that was flashed Blaine’s way made him want to laugh with joy. Yes, it was that good.

“Could you tell me where the choir room is? I was interested in joining the glee club and I’m not sure where to go.”

“Well you lucked out Kurt, that happens to be the class I’m subbing for today so just follow me. Here, I know a short cut.” Before he could talk himself out of it, Blaine reached out and took Kurt’s hand in his.

“It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link of the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.”
~Winston Churchill~

Kurt was afraid.

He stood frozen in the doorway leading into the kitchen watching his dad. The newspaper was spread out on the table but his dad wasn’t reading it. Instead, his elbows were resting on top of it and his head was cradled in his hands. Kurt couldn’t see his face but he had seen the pose before and it wasn’t good. It meant that his dad was overcome for some reason. So overcome that he lost the strength to hold up his head. Which was very frightening for Kurt because, according to his dad, Hummel men always keep there heads held high.

“Dad? Are you alright?”

Burt jumped up from the table and closed the paper in one motion. “Hey kid!” He turned his back to his son but it was too late. Kurt had already seen the tears in his fathers eyes.

“Start dinner would ya Kurt? I’ll be back to help in a minute.”

“Dad, did something happen?” Kurt’s question was left unanswered as his dad had already made a quick exit. He stood still for a beat or two before he was flying across the room toward the table. Kurt tore through the paper looking for what had been so upsetting for his father. It didn’t take long before he found it. He came upon a letter to the editor that made his stomach clench and his heart try to beat its way out of his chest.

‘To Mike S.

My son was beaten because he is gay. You say that there are already enough laws to protect as you say “those people”. My son was punished for being open and honest. Once upon a time, my son was happy, confident and knew no strangers. He could start a conversation with someone and two minutes later have a friend. Now, this once vibrant boy is guarded and lonely. I took my son out of the public school system that you claim is safe enough. What is enough in your eyes sir? My son recently started attending a private school with a zero tolerance for bullying, so he is safe. However, I fear for other kids like him who are still in the public school system. My son was beaten because he is gay. He wasn’t the first and he will not be the last. My son survived. Others will not. Until the day arrives that no one is punished for living truthfully we need to do MORE not less.

Therefore, you go ahead and busy yourself trying to convince people that my son already has enough rights and protection. In the meantime, I will try to convince my son that not everyone is as ignorant as you. I will encourage my son to make new friends. You can’t imagine how painful it is to know that your child is afraid to make friends! He fears how they will react when they know his truth. In my weakest moments, I almost want to tell him to hide his homosexuality, lie if asked. What kind of mother would I be if I encouraged my son to lie? All my kid wants is a friend. A friend with whom he can be completely honest and himself. Is that too much to ask? Is that a right you would allow my son to have? Doesn’t he have the right to attend a school dance with a date without being beaten for it? You say that “those” people already have rights. Well I would like my son to get through a night without screaming himself awake. Wouldn’t that be right?

Jennifer A.’

The words on the paper blurred as Kurt’s eyes filled with tears. His tears were for his father who must have been so frightened by this woman’s story about her gay son. He’d only come out to his father a month ago. This must have been a big rainbow colored elephant sized dose of reality slapping him in the face. His dad had now seen in black and white what it could mean to be the parent of a gay son in a world where some would hate him for it.

His tears were also for the boy. A boy who was just like him. He wanted so badly to be the friend that the mother mentioned. “He must be so sad and lonely. I think he needs me.” He whispered to the empty kitchen.

Kurt thumbed over the e-mail address for the paper. He could write to him in care of the paper. “And say what exactly Kurt?” He wondered aloud. “That you know what it’s like to be harassed? That you know what it’s like to feel alone in a school full of people? That you have no idea how to stop it? How could you possibly help this stranger when you can’t help yourself?” He couldn’t find the courage. “I’m just not that confident I guess.” He whispered. He wiped the tears off of his face, stood and tore the letter out of the paper. Kurt carefully folded it and placed it in his pants pocket.

That letter would stay with him for a very long time.

~~~

Years later….

Kurt Hummel wasn’t used to feeling completely out of control. These days, he was always in control of himself. From his, even if he did say so himself, meticulous outfits to the barbs that flew from his mouth. He prided himself on his actions being as controlled as his hair. All of that seemed to fly right out the window the second he stepped foot back in the halls of William McKinley High. Within the first five minutes of his day he had been called a name and shoved into a locker. He did not belong and the students seemed to be able to sense that.

He just wanted to get this day over with so he could get back to his life. Sure, Kurt thought. His life wasn’t everything he dreamt when he was younger. But it was a good life. The only thing that could make it better would be…. him. He did a quick scan of the man that had just passed by. The bow tie made him smile. The overly gelled hair made him want to test the products strength by running his fingers through it. The shirt sleeves that ended in the perfect place to accentuate his biceps… Made him think, thoughts. Good thoughts.

Kurt’s mind was screaming at him to turn around and remember why he was really there. But he was tired. He was tired of his life being just okay and not fabulous. He felt so drawn to this man that he couldn’t ignore it. It was as though he were fated to be there in that moment. So Kurt reached out a hand and touched him on the shoulder. The smile that greeted him made him swoon and caramel colored eyes made him feel like he was home.

Kurt cringed inwardly because he knew as soon as he opened his mouth he would be lying. Not the best way to meet people, he thought. “Excuse me. Um hi. I’m new here…”