Chapter Thirty-Six:  Nationals

They drove all morning, finally reaching Chicago around noon. Everyone gathered their things and filed off the bus. Will waited until the entire group was standing in front of him before he spoke.

“All right, guys. I’m going to give you an hour to get settled into your rooms and grab some lunch. Then we’ll meet downstairs to practice,” Will instructed. He gave both Rachel and Finn a cardkey. Like the year before in New York, the group had been separated into two hotel rooms by sex.

Everyone dropped their things off in the rooms before heading to their practice room where lunch had been set up. They ate quickly, all of them eager to practice. Now that they were in Chicago, everything felt more real. They had been practicing for several hours when Mercedes sprinted to the trash can and vomited violently. Will helped her out of the room, telling the others to continue their rehearsal.

Kurt hadn’t seen how the fight happened; he had been too distracted by Blaine’s dancing. So when Sam and Puck started throwing fists, Kurt was caught off guard. Blaine immediately pulled Kurt as far away from the pair as possible, not wanting him to get caught in the crossfire. The entire room was in an uproar when Will burst through the doors. Joe and Rory were attempting to pull Sam away from Puck, while Mike and Finn were holding Puck back. The girls were watching in horror from the corner of the room, except for Sugar Motta who was egging the boys on with her chant of “Fight! Fight! Fight!”

“What’s going on?” Will had to yell to be heard.

“He’s studying for his geography exam while we’re trying to rehearse!” Sam exclaimed.

Kurt’s phone vibrated in his pocket. As he pulled it out, he heard Puck retort, “Because I already know the choreography!”

“Mr. Schue, are you aware that while we’re arguing over jazz squares, Unique is being handed a key to the city?” Kurt asked.

“I think everyone’s just a little tired,” Artie said, wheeling himself into the middle of the group so he could be seen and heard. “We’ve been rehearsing for three straight hours.”

“We’ll rehearse all night if we have to!” Finn spoke up. “We can rest after we’ve won!”

“Just because we’ve lost Mercedes doesn’t mean we can be anything less than perfect!” Rachel agreed.

Everyone began to speak at once. Kurt could see things were going to escalate quickly if someone didn’t stop it. He was glad when Santana stepped in.

“Hey! I don’t want to hear any of this ‘we can’t do it without her’ because guess what, we don’t have a choice! So be warned, if you are not giving this everything that you’ve got, I will go all Lima Heights on your asses!” Santana said threateningly.

“Listen to yourselves,” Will said when Santana walked back over to Brittany.

“I know I’m sorry. I always go to the yelling place,” Santana apologized though her voice was still laced with anger. “I have rage.”

“No,” Will disagreed. “It’s a good thing, a great thing. There is so much passion in this room. All of this arguing comes from passion. You guys really want this. Let’s take a half-hour break and then we’ll keep rehearsing.”

“No,” Blaine disagreed, shaking his head.

“Yeah, Mr. Schue. Is it okay if we keep going? We have the first slot which is the death slot. We have to be amazing,” Tina said, looking to Quinn for support.

“Yeah, I really need the practice for ‘Edge of Glory,’” Quinn agreed.

“Okay, then, Mike help the guys with the choreography. Artie, help Puck with his geography. Girls, run through ‘Edge of Glory,’” Will instructed. Everyone immediately set to work. Win or lose, they were giving their all.

They continued rehearsing, only stopping for bathroom breaks and dinnertime. After dinner, they ran through the entire set before they finally trooped off to their rooms. Kurt fell into the bed closest to the window, exhausted. Blaine stretched out beside him.

“Hey, who said you got one of the beds?” Puck demanded.

Kurt rolled his eyes, leaning up on his elbows to look Puck in the eye.

“Are any of you guys comfortable sharing a bed together?” No one answered. “That’s what I thought,” Kurt said, curling himself into Blaine’s side. Blaine immediately wrapped his arms around Kurt, holding him close.

“Okay, fine. But no funny business,” Puck said after a second.

“Puck, do you really think we’d have sex with all of you guys in the room?” Blaine asked incredulously.

“I don’t know. I don’t know your sex life,” Puck replied.

“That’s enough. I’m going to moisturize and then I’m going to sleep,” Kurt said, throwing his hands up in the air. He slipped out of Blaine’s arms, grabbing his bag of bathroom necessities as well as a pair of pajamas before he disappeared into the bathroom.

K/B

Blaine was the first to wake the next morning. He hadn’t slept peacefully. Kurt had tossed and turned all night. Blaine kept waiting for him to have a nightmare but so far it seemed Kurt’s dreams had been spared. But it didn’t keep Blaine from worrying about his boyfriend. Finally, around four o’clock, Kurt had settled down. Two hours had passed with Kurt wrapped around Blaine, not moving. His head was on Blaine’s chest, one arm curled against his side, the other thrown across his lover’s waist. Their legs were tangled together, with Kurt’s right leg over Blaine’s.

He was reluctant to leave the bed, but didn’t know how much patience the other guys would have for seeing them wrapped around each other. Plus, he knew there would be a fight over the bathroom, and Blaine wanted to avoid it by showering while everyone was asleep. Blaine managed to untangle himself from Kurt without waking him. He grabbed a pair of sweats on his way to the bathroom, knowing he would only be changing into his performance costume in a few hours.

Blaine had just stepped out of the shower and was toweling himself off when someone banged on the bathroom door. Before Blaine could call out that he was almost done, Puck was yelling through the door, “Blaine, there’s something wrong with Kurt!”

Blaine’s heart stopped. He frantically pulled on his boxers, threw open the door and sprinted to the bed he shared with Kurt. All the boys were watching in horror as Finn approached Kurt slowly, only to be pushed away as Kurt shrieked, “Don’t hurt me!”

In that instant, Blaine knew Kurt was not aware of his surroundings. Even as he stepped forward, Kurt dug his fingernails into his arms. His skin gave purchase, and Kurt raked his nails downward, drawing blood. Blaine surged forward, taking Kurt by the wrists so he couldn’t hurt himself further.

“Kurt, look at me,” Blaine said firmly. “You’re safe. I’m right here. You’re okay. Nothing’s going to harm you.”

At Blaine’s words, Kurt was able to tear himself from his memory. His sobs intensified as he scrambled onto Blaine’s lap. Blaine wrapped his arms around him, holding him tightly. Kurt buried his head in Blaine’s chest, his body trembling as he cried.

“Shh, you’re okay,” Blaine repeated. “I’ve got you.”

Blaine pressed a kiss to Kurt’s hair. His eyes sought out Finn, who nodded, knowing exactly what Blaine had in mind to comfort Kurt. Blaine drew in a deep breath before he began to sing.

Oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo

Oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo

When she was just a girl,

She expected the world.

But it flew away from her reach,

So she ran away in her sleep;

Dreamed of para- para- paradise,

Para- para- paradise,

Para- para- paradise.

Every time she closed her eyes.

Oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo

Oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo

Mercifully, Kurt had only had one nightmare in the past month. But even the one he’d had the previous week had not been this bad. It had been a while since Kurt had completely lost himself in a memory. Tremors continued to wrack Kurt’s body, though their intensity had lessened.

Blaine was thankful when he saw Finn move to Kurt’s suitcase. He found Kurt’s anti-anxiety medication and grabbed a cup of water. Blaine took the pill from Finn, offering him a grateful smile. He put the pill against Kurt’s lips, waiting until he opened his mouth to place the pill on his tongue. Blaine then raised the glass of water to his lips, helping Kurt to take a sip before handing the cup back to Finn.

When she was just a girl,

She expected the world.

But it flew away from her reach,

And the bullets catch in her teeth.

Blaine only ever wanted Kurt to be happy. He wanted to give him the world. Blaine wanted all of Kurt’s dreams to come true. Kurt often felt all he had left were dreams. Life had left him a broken shell of the boy he used to be, and he was slowly piecing the puzzle back together. Kurt’s past was dark, but Blaine was determined his future would be bright. No dream would ever be out of his reach because Blaine would help all of Kurt’s dreams become reality.

Life goes on,

It gets so heavy.

The wheel breaks the butterfly.

Every tear, a waterfall.

In the night, the stormy night,

She closed her eyes.

In the night, the stormy night

Away she'd fly.

Finn began to sing with the next line. He hated seeing his stepbrother this way. He wanted so badly to help, but he wasn’t quite sure how except to give Kurt his medication. Watching Blaine, Finn couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. Blaine knew exactly how to comfort Kurt; it was clear he had done this many times before. Finn should have been there for his stepbrother as Blaine had. He had tried, he really had, but Finn had never been good with the heavier emotions. As Finn joined in with Blaine, the other guys got the picture and began to sing as well.

And dreamed of para- para- paradise

Para- para- paradise

Para- para- paradise

Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh

She dreamed of para- para- paradise

Para- para- paradise

Para- para- paradise

Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

All of the guys were shocked by Kurt’s nightmare and subsequent panic attack. They had never seen him that way, much less seen him intentionally cause himself harm. Finn had immediately jumped into action when Kurt had begun to thrash about in his sleep. But when Kurt awoke, it was clear he was not aware of the present but only the past. Finn tried to comfort him, but Kurt pushed him away in panic. Thankfully, Puck had thought to alert Blaine, but not before Kurt had hurt himself.

La la la la

La la la

So lying underneath those stormy skies.

She said, “oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.

I know the sun must set to rise.”

Kurt was finally beginning to calm down. He kept his face buried in Blaine’s chest, drawing comfort from the feeling of their bare torsos pressed together. His heart rate was slowly returning to normal and his breath was less erratic. Kurt snuggled deeper into Blaine’s embrace, who responded by holding him even tighter.

This could be para- para- paradise,

Para- para- paradise.

This could be para- para- paradise.

Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

This could be para- para- paradise,

Para- para- paradise.

Could be para- para- paradise.

Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

This could be para- para- paradise,

Para- para- paradise.

Could be para- para- paradise.

Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

Oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo

Oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo

Blaine gently pushed Kurt back, his eyes searching his face, for what Kurt wasn’t sure. But apparently Blaine found what he was looking for because he cupped Kurt’s face in his hands, smiling softly. Blaine wiped the tear tracks from Kurt’s cheeks with his thumbs.

“Hi,” Blaine whispered.

"Hi,” Kurt murmured.

“Are you okay, man?” Finn asked, being careful to keep his voice low. He remembered how Kurt had reacted to loud noises after the last panic attack he had witnessed.

Kurt slowly raised his head to meet his stepbrother’s eyes. He froze when he caught sight of all the boys watching him with concern. He blushed, burying his face in the crook of Blaine’s shoulder. Blaine sensed Kurt’s uneasiness, and lifted him up onto his feet. Kurt looked at him questioningly, avoiding the stares of the other boys.

“Come on,” Blaine said, pulling on Kurt’s hand as he began to walk towards the bathroom. “You’ll feel better once you’ve had a shower.”

“Will you stay?” Kurt asked as he stepped into the bathroom. “I don’t-I don’t trust myself.”

Blaine smiled sadly, pressing a kiss to Kurt’s cheek. “Of course, love.”

“Thank you,” Kurt said with a shaky breath. He was still shaken from the panic attack. Kurt brushed his lips against Blaine’s before he peeled off his pajama pants along with his briefs.

Blaine forced himself to turn away when Kurt bent over the bathtub to turn on the water. He knew they couldn’t do anything with the guys in the next room, and it wouldn’t do to get aroused. Blaine pulled his clothes on as he had only had time to slip on his boxers before leaving the bathroom, only turning around when Kurt had pulled the shower curtain closed. When Kurt was done, Blaine wrapped him in a fluffy towel, drying him off as innocently as possible. Kurt’s cheeks were flushed by the time Blaine was done. Blaine kissed him softly before folding the towel as Kurt got dressed. When Kurt was done, Blaine found the first aid supplies in Kurt’s bathroom bag and gently cleaned the scratches on his arms. When Blaine was finished, he put the supplies up before pulling Kurt in his arms. He held him for a few long minutes before finally letting go and exiting the bathroom.

Normally, the guys would have ripped them a new one about being in the same room while the other showered. But after the events of the morning, no one had the heart to do so. Blaine and Kurt went down to breakfast while the others took turns in the bathroom.

Time flew by and all too soon they were dressed in their costumes and in the green room waiting to go on. Mercedes’ absence was all too noticeable for Kurt. Kurt didn’t notice his hands were shaking until Blaine seized them in his. He pulled Kurt to the back of the room, glad that no one seemed to take notice.

Blaine didn’t speak, but kissed Kurt tenderly. When he pulled back, he rest their foreheads together. Kurt smiled. With one loving kiss from Blaine, his nerves had dissipated.

“I love you,” Kurt said, knowing no other words were needed.

“I love you too,” Blaine answered.

“Forever?”

“Always.”

K/B

Everyone had been relieved when Mercedes made her triumphant return, but for Rachel that relief quickly turned to disappointment when they entered the wings of the stage and Carmen Tibideaux was absent from her seat.

“She didn’t come,” Rachel said sadly, looking at Kurt from over her shoulder. Before Kurt could speak, Finn was pulling Rachel over to him.

“Stop it, look at me,” he said. He waited until Rachel’s eyes met his before he continued. “This is your moment. It’s been three years in the making. Forget everything else. Take it.”

Kurt had never been more proud of his stepbrother in that moment. While he was not good at dealing with heavy emotions, he had just proved he was trying to be better at it. And for that reason alone, to Kurt, Finn was the best stepbrother ever.

K/B

Their performance passed by in a blur. All too soon it was over. Kurt was breathless as they took their bows. Standing up on the national stage, singing a duet with his boyfriend, it was one of the happiest moments of Kurt’s life.

Backstage, Kurt and Mercedes celebrated with their friends briefly. Vocal Adrenaline was going on next and they wanted to wish Unique luck. Kurt pressed his lips to Blaine’s, smiling when Blaine pulled him closer. They let the kiss last longer than they usually would in public, still high from the adrenaline of their performance. When they broke apart, Kurt pressed another quick kiss to Blaine’s lips before linking his arm through Mercedes’ as they went to find Unique.

“If you’ve come to mess with my head, don’t worry. I’m not going on,” Wade said the second they entered the room.

Kurt frowned, exchanging a look with Mercedes.

“We came to wish Unique luck and give her this flower,” Mercedes said slowly.

“Well, Unique has left the building,” Wade said, jumping up from his seat and stalking past them. “Try as I might I can’t conjure her.”

“Wade, this is just stage fright,” Kurt tried to comfort him. “Remember the last time Unique performed. You were a hit!”

“That was different! No one knew Unique. I didn’t have to be anyone different than my true self,” Wade exclaimed, stalking back to the vanity where he plopped down. “Now everyone’s depending on me and I can’t take the pressure. All I ever wanted to do was wear a dress and sing. And now I’m the poster child for any kid that’s different. I just can’t handle it.”

“You may not be able to handle it but Unique can,” Mercedes said, stepping forward.

“You’ve got to move past that fear and expectation,” Kurt said as he walked closer to Wade. He offered the single white rose to Wade. “At least that’s what real stars do.”

Wade took the rose from Kurt. He turned to face them, saying, “Aren’t we supposed to be enemies?”

“Yeah, but that’s not how we roll in the New Directions,” Mercedes answered, exchanging a smile with Kurt.

“Not really our style,” Kurt added.

“All right,” Wade said with newfound confidence. “Let me get ready.”

“Good luck,” Mercedes said as she turned to leave.

“Break a heel,” Kurt said with a smile as he walked backwards.

As they stepped out of the room, Kurt heard Wade say, “Unique might have to transfer schools next year.”

K/B

Kurt sat with his friends as they listened to the other groups perform. One of his hands was clasped in Blaine’s, the other in Mercedes’. Again, time flew by and Kurt found himself standing on the stage with his very best friends, the love of his life by his side. They waited nervously as the national champion was announced.

“Congratulations to both teams standing with us on the stage,” the announcer’s voice rang out. “But now it’s time to announce the winner. The 2012 Show Choir National Champions:  from McKinley High the New Directions!”

Kurt was in shock as Blaine hugged him fiercely. The entire group erupted, hugging each other tightly and cheering. Tears were streaming down Kurt’s face as he embraced Rachel and Mercedes in a three-way hug. They had done it. They had won.

K/B

The next day, the New Directions met at the front of the school. They were going to walk through the front doors together as the Show Choir National Champions. Kurt was nervous. He honestly did not expect their success to change anything, but he was hopeful. Puck and Kurt slowly pushed open the front doors, Blaine followed closely behind him. Finn wheeled Artie inside, the large trophy sitting in his lap. They stopped as they noticed the entire school was congregated along the lockers, leaving an aisle for them to walk. Kurt held his breath when two hockey players emerged carrying slushie cups. But instead of getting a face-full of flavored ice, confetti rained down on them.

As they continued down the hall, more and more confetti was thrown at them. When they came to a stop outside the choir room, Tina pulled Mike into a kiss. Not to be outdone, Rachel kissed Finn deeply. And when Santana kissed Brittany, Kurt made up his mind. He looked at Blaine with determination, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him forward. Their lips crashed together as Kurt kissed his boyfriend passionately. He felt Blaine stiffen at first, but then he was pouring all of his love into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Kurt’s neck to pull him in closer. They only broke away when Sam accidentally fell into them amidst the celebration. He apologized, but Kurt and Blaine hardly noticed, only having eyes for each other. They followed their friends into the choir room, coming to a stop in front of the trophy cabinet.

They turned their attention to Will as he unlocked the trophy cabinet, placing their nationals trophy inside with pride. Kurt’s cheeks hurt he was smiling so widely, but he could care less. He had waited three years for this moment, and now that it was finally here, he wasn’t going to let anything stop him for enjoying it.

K/B

The next afternoon, Kurt stood backstage with the rest of the glee club as Finn announced the winner of the Teacher of the Year award.

“The 2012 Teacher of the Year award goes to,” Finn paused to let Rachel continue.

“Mr. Will Schuester!” Rachel exclaimed.

Kurt poured his heart into “We Are the Champions,” knowing it was one of the last times they would sing together as a group. But instead of that fact filling Kurt with sadness, it filled him with love. He knew he would always carry the memories of his friends with him. When the song ended, Kurt found Blaine. They celebrated with Will for a while longer before the group slowly trickled out.

“You know,” Kurt said, turning his face towards Blaine as they walked down the hall, “I’m starting to believe that our dreams might really come true.”

Blaine stopped Kurt, pulling him into his arms. He smiled as he assured him, “They will, love. They will.”

And with that, Blaine pulled Kurt into a long kiss in the deserted hallway. The love radiated around them, through them, encompassing them. As Kurt pulled Blaine closer, Blaine knew he was right. They would go to New York and make it on Broadway. They would get married. They would have children. And they would grow old together. Their love would last. Forever and always.