Hospitals had never been Blaine’s favourite place in the world. Especially after what happened to him with his parents and he’d had to go there, he just associated hospitals with getting kicked out.

Now, his problem with them was that their walls were all white, the floors were white tile, and it was like when you’re watching a really dark movie and all of a sudden the scene changes to being bright. He had to wear sunglasses just to have his headache be manageable to set foot in the place.

Because hospitals were not smart places to go when you were hungover.

“Are you sure you’re okay enough to be here today?” Kurt asked quietly beside him as they navigated their way through the halls to find Blaine’s parents.

Technically, Blaine supposed, they weren’t at a hospital. They were at a cancer center. But it still looked like an awful lot like a hospital to him.

“I’m fine,” he murmured back. “I just want to find Alex and do whatever the doctors need me to do.”

They turned a few more corners before heading down a hall that was unremarkable, save for the voices floating down from one of the rooms. Blaine could hear his parents yelling from 10 rooms away.

“I requested a private suite! This is not a private suite! See the other little kid there? That’s not mine!”

“Ma’am, please refrain from referring to another patient as ‘that.’”

“Charlotte, calm down. They’ll never move him if they can’t even understand what you’re saying while you shriek at them at a decibel only dogs can hear. Look, nurse, just move us to a private room and she’ll shut up.”

Ouch. Hearing his dad say that in reference to his mother just reminded him of how much he and his father were alike. It was really starting to scare him.

“I’m sorry, sir, but all of our private rooms are taken.”

“Look, if this is about money, I assure you that we have more than enough.”

“It’s not about money, we just simply don’t have enough room. I’m sorry. There are other patients here besides your son who are already occupying all of our private rooms.”

Before either of his parents could further embarrass their family, Blaine finally reached the room and walked in with Kurt in tow, effectively silencing both of the Andersons.

“Blaine Anderson,” Blaine said, offering a hand to the male nurse who looked like he wanted to shoot himself in the face just to escape Richard and Charlotte. “I’m Alex’s brother. I’m sorry about them. I understand if you’re already booked to capacity and we appreciate you finding room for us at all. If you could just let the doctor know I’m here, please, that would be great.”

The nurse nodded emphatically and leaned in to Blaine, muttering, “Anything to get away from your parents. No offense.”

“I understand completely.”

As the nurse walked out, Blaine ignored the steely looks he was getting from the adults in the room and headed straight for Alex, who had somehow managed to sleep through all of that.

God, he looked awful. It was evident in his entire body that he was sick. There was a sickly pale palor to his skin tone, his regular breathing had turned into laborious wheezing, he looked much thinner. The black curls on his head, so similar to Blaine’s own, stood out in stark contrast to his body, not just because of the pale complexion but also because they were so big and he was so small. It was hard just to look at him, but Blaine sat gingerly on the edge of the bed and took one of Alex’s little hands in his, brushing back the curls from his eyes.

Almost as if Alex was set to wake at his brother’s touch, the boy stirred and peered at Blaine curiously.

“Are you the guy from when we went food shoppin’?”

Blaine’s heart melted knowing Alex at least recognized him, regardless of whether he knew their relationship or not. “Yeah, little man. That’s me. I’m Blaine. And this is my boyfriend, Kurt,” he introduced, pulling Kurt to his side and wrapping an arm around his boyfriend’s waist.

If his parents were angry at Blaine telling Alex that Kurt was his boyfriend, they didn’t say anything; since Blaine refused to look at them, he couldn’t even be deterred by their facial expressions.

“I’m sick,” Alex stated, sniffling then wiping his nose on his hand and wiping his hand on the bed.

“Gross,” Kurt muttered.

Blaine chuckled and squeezed Kurt’s waist a little bit, smiling sadly down at Alex. “I know. I’m here to help you get better again.” Finally, reluctantly, Blaine turned to face his parents. “Have you told him who I am?” He knew the answer, but he wanted to hear them say it.

“No,” his mother answered.

“Well I’m going to,” Blaine said; he wasn’t asking for permission, because he didn’t need permission to talk to his own brother. Still, when neither parent said anything, Blaine took that as his cue to continue with Alex. So he turned back to the dying little boy in the big hospital bed with a soft smile. “Alex, do you go to school?”

Alex nodded, then frowned and shook his head, then shrugged, looking confused. “Kind of. I go to preschool. Mommy says I have to wait ‘til I’m older for big kid school.”

“Do you have a bunch of friends at your preschool?”

This time, he nodded enthusiastically. “Uh-huh. We play with the toys all day together.”

“Do you know what brothers and sisters are?”

“Yeah. My best friend, Mallory, has a big brother. He goes to big kid school.”

Blaine hesitated for a moment. He thought he knew where he was going with this, but now he wasn’t sure. How was he supposed to say it? “Oh, hey, you do too. It’s me. I go to super big kid school.” Somehow, that didn’t feel quite right.

Before he could come up with a good next question or way to tell him, Alex continued, “But I don’t have none.”

“Any,” Kurt corrected automatically. When Blaine looked at him, he knew that Kurt had completely forgotten he was talking to a 3 year old and grammar didn’t matter. “Sorry,” he immediately added.

But really, Blaine was just glad to have a sense of normalcy. Kurt correcting people was so average that it made the whole thing feel less weird.

“Alex,” Blaine started, holding his hand still and trying to smile in what he hoped came across in a kind way. “I’m going to tell you something, bud, and I know it’s going to sound weird, but you’re just going to have to believe me, okay?”

“Okay.”

“You do have a brother. You have a big brother that you just didn’t know you had for a while.”

Alex’s whole face lit up, and Blaine was hopeful that maybe this brother thing wouldn’t be so bad after all.

“I do?”

“You do.”

“Where is he?”

“He’s right here. It’s me.”

His eyes grew wide and he suddenly sat up straight, looking at Blaine as if by those simple words he’d turned into a magical being that Alex had never seen before in his life. “Really?” he breathed.

Blaine laughed and nodded his head. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m your big brother.”

“How come I never seen you before?”

“I was away at super big kid school,” he answered without thinking, mentally slapping himself for how stupid that sounded.

But Alex was just eating it all up, looking at him in wonder. “What’s that?”

“It’s for super big kids like me. I’m going to be 19 years old soon.”

“Whoa. That’s old.”

“I know.”

Before he knew what was happening, Alex was throwing himself in Blaine’s arms, hugging him with more strength than it looked like he even had.

“Okay, big guy,” Blaine said, pulling Alex away and settling him down in the sheets again, “Don’t get too worked up, okay? You gotta save all your energy for when the doctors do their stuff to make you better again.”

“And you’re gonna help?”

“I sure am.”

At that moment, the doctor walked in, smiling politely at Mr. and Mrs. Anderson before turning his attention to Kurt and Blaine at the bed with Alex.

“You must be Blaine. My name is Dr. Pierson.” Dr. Pierson was a tall, blonde fellow who looked to be in his late thirties or so. He crossed the room and shook Blaine’s free hand, the one not attached to the arm wrapped around Kurt’s waist, and then surprised Blaine by shaking Kurt’s hand. “And you’re Kurt, the boyfriend.”

Blaine started and looked at his parents in shock. “You told the doctor about Kurt?”

“We had to. For medical reasons,” Richard explained.

His brow furrowed in confusion. What did they need to know about Kurt for Blaine’s medical reasons? That didn’t even make any sense. Kurt and Blaine weren’t related at all. If they were, they wouldn’t be together, because that would be incest and incest is disgusting and never acceptable, not even in Kentucky.

By the look on Kurt’s face, he got it before Blaine did. And if Kurt got it, then he could explain it to him.

“What?” Blaine asked.

Kurt opened his mouth, then closed it, looking around the room and shifting uncomfortably. Blaine stood up and lowered his arm from around Kurt’s waist. Instead, he stood in front of his boyfriend and looked directly into his face, holding both hands in his. “What?” he repeated.

“I don’t think this is an appropriate discussion to be had in front of Alex,” Kurt hedged, glancing at the boy in the bed.

“Why not? Is it—Oh.” Then Blaine got it. “Oh. But you and I haven’t—“

“Let’s move this into the hall, shall we?” Dr. Pierson suggested.

Nodding, Blaine and Kurt followed Dr. Pierson into the hall, hand in hand. Blaine took a moment to glare at his parents on the way out. Not for any reason in particular, it was a reasonable thing to do regardless of whether he was dating a boy or girl, he just wanted to glare at his parents to make up for lost time. There was an almost 4 year gap where he was unable to do so and he had lots of glaring to make up for.

They cracked the door behind them and huddled just outside the door.

“I didn’t think you wanted to discuss your sex life in front of your parents,” Dr. Pierson said, giving them a reassuring smile.

Blaine was quick to correct him. “But we haven’t…um…done that.”

“And by ‘done that’ you mean…?” the doctor trailed off, flipping open the clipboard in his hand and holding his pen at the ready, glancing up at Blaine through his glasses.

“Anal sex,” Blaine muttered, coughing to hide his embarrassment. He chanced a glance at Kurt to see that Kurt was just as red as he was. Okay. Good. He wasn’t alone.

“Okay,” Dr. Pierson wrote something down, “That’s good to know. Have you been engaged in any sexual act where bodily fluids had the chance to be exchanged?”

He quickly glanced over to Kurt for guidance. Did handjobs and blowjobs fall under that category? Sure, he swallowed, but he doubted that meant anything. Oh, but there was that one time where he and Kurt had given each other handjobs at the same time and everything just kind of…mixed together between them. Even though his first instinct was to say no to that question, after thinking about it, Blaine answered, “Yes. I think so.”

“Alright. Have either of you had any other sexual partners?”

“No,” Kurt answered at the same time as Blaine said, “Yes.” Kurt looked confused and slightly hurt for a moment before recognition dawned on his face. “Oh. Trevor,” he answered himself aloud.

“And with this Trevor, Blaine, did you have anal sex?”

“No,” he swiftly replied. “Handjobs was the maximum we got to. And that was only a couple of times. I doubt I have any risk for STDs from him. And I definitely don’t have any risk from Kurt.”

“Okay, well let’s go ahead and get you tested just to be sure. We have to run blood tests on you regardless, just to check that you are indeed a match for Alex. We’ll also have to take a sample of your bone marrow, which can be a painful procedure so you may want Kurt present. So let’s go ahead and get started on all that so we can get your little brother treated and hopefully in remission as soon as possible. Sound like a plan?”

Blaine shared a look with Kurt before turning back to the doctor and nodding. “Whatever you need me to do, Dr. Pierson.”

“Good. Follow me right this way and we’ll get those tests set up.”

He held Kurt’s hand tight and followed the doctor down a hall and into a room and sat in the chair he was directed to. He pulled Kurt into his lap despite Kurt’s protests when the doctor left the room and said a nurse would be in shortly to take his blood.

With Kurt in his lap, he smiled and held on tight.

“Blaine Anderson, I cannot believe you are forcing me to sit on your lap.”

“Why not? You love sitting on my lap when we’re alone.”

“That’s for different purposes entirely.”

Blaine smirked. “I know.”

Kurt shifted a little and squirmed on Blaine’s lap. Blaine sighed. “Just get comfortable already. These things take forever.”

“I’m not shifting because I’m uncomfortable physically.”

“So you’re uncomfortable…emotionally?”

“Am I still a virgin, Blaine?”

Blaine choked on his own spit at Kurt’s question. “I’m sorry?”

“What we’ve done, does that count as losing our virginities?”

“I, uh…I don’t know. I honestly hadn’t thought about it.”

“It’s so clear cut for heterosexual couples,” Kurt huffed. “But for gay couples, it’s so murky. Does what we do count as sex? It’s called oral sex, but does it count as losing virginity? If not, then what would be the defining sexual act? Penetrative sex, because that’s the line for straight couples? But then what counts for lesbians? Would they have to use a strap-on on each other to lose their virginities? That seems a little absurd.”

“Kurt.”

“Yes?”

“Take a breath.”

He began rubbing the soothing circles on Kurt’s back that Kurt always did for him, pulling him closer and trying to get him to calm down. It really wasn’t that big of a deal.

“Okay,” Kurt declared after a few moments of deep breathing. “I’m okay. I just…It’s all so confusing.”

“I know. But one of the great things about being in a same-sex relationship is that we set our own boundaries. There are no specific traditions we have to adhere to, like the girl taking the guy’s last name or the guy proposing to the girl, because there is no girl in our relationship. We make our own rules. So in terms of sex, I think it’s really up to us. If you think what we’ve done counts as sex, counts as us losing our virginities, then it does. If not, if the line for you would be anal sex, then that’s what it is.”

Kurt nodded, his face relaxing like what Blaine was telling him made sense. “Right. Yeah, that’s logical. That’s…Okay, yes. So what do you think? Are we still virgins?”

“I think…I think I’m going to leave that up to you.”

“Blaine!”

“I think it means more to you than it does to me, Kurt. To me, the whole concept of all those big Firsts—first kiss, first time having sex—it’s all irrelevant. Who cares about my first kiss? I care about my first kiss with the person I love and that I’m going to be with for the rest of my life. For me, that’s you. And I remember all of my experiences with you, firsts or not. So regardless of what counts as sex and what doesn’t, I’ll always remember everything I do with you. The first time isn’t that important to me.”

“Oh,” Kurt said, nodding again. “Okay. But I still think it’s something the both of us should discuss. Another perk of same-sex relationship is that there are no traditional gender roles. This is a partnership.”

“That sounds fair,” Blaine agreed.

Unfortunately, at that moment, the nurse walked in to take Blaine’s blood, killing their conversation. Kurt stood next to his chair the entire time, a comforting hand on Blaine’s shoulder. Then, when they went to have the bone marrow sample taken, Kurt held his hand the entire time.

Dr. Pierson was absolutely right, it hurt like a bitch. They had him roll onto his side and stuck a big needle into his hip, going down into his bone to get the sample. With getting blood drawn, the needle barely had to go in at all before it hit a vein and they could get what they needed. But bone marrow was in the bone, so they had to shove that stupid metal rod all the way through all of his skin, blood, fat, muscle, and into his bone. And it hurt.

Having Kurt there helped, though. Yes, Blaine would admit it, he cried. But Kurt was right there holding both of his hands and kneeling down beside the little bench-like bed and caressing Blaine’s face, whispering words of encouragement. Kurt was the only reason he was even able to get through it. Kurt was his strength, his courage, his rock.

Honestly, if Blaine ever lost Kurt, he didn’t think he’d be able to survive.