School had always been incongruously lonely for Rachel. She could see hundreds of people in one day and love not a single one, and it sometimes struck her as odd. She got it, why Kurt felt so disconnected from the rest of the world. They always were, because they were different. They weren’t ‘normal’, and it changed everything.

That was one of the reasons she was so shocked when Mercedes Jones started talking to her. She was gathering her books from her locker, elbows tight to her side and hair hanging to cover her cheeks (you could never be too careful), when someone tapped her on the shoulder. Mercedes was there, not looking exactly thrilled to be there, more resigned.

“So we’re both friends with Kurt.”

Rachel nodded. She had known this for a long time, and it had been a shock to realise that a girl she shared a building with five days a week was a faerie rights supporter, a friend. She had hoped, deep down, that something might come of it, but nothing had. Until now, apparently.

“You’ve done some bad things for him, Berry, but he loves you. As his best friend, it’s my job to get over myself and try to figure out why he does.”

“Well, you know why,” Rachel replied, finding it hard to look Mercedes in the eye – she was more than a little intimidating.

“Yeah, I know the science of it.” Mercedes huffed and beckoned Rachel to her. She didn’t grab her arm like most people would; Rachel noted it, and silently thanked her for it. Full length sleeves didn’t stop you from the shock. “Come with me.” Rachel scurried after her, not sure of their destination until Mercedes shut the door behind them and flicked on the light.

“Why did you bring me to the choir room?”

“It’s the safest place I know.” Mercedes pulled two chairs to face each other and sat in one of them. After a moment’s hesitation, Rachel took the seat opposite her. “Look, I get that you guys fall in love and it’s not exactly your choice. Believe me, I know. But I’ve been around Kurt’s family for a long time. His dad has always thought about connections a certain way, and Kurt’s starting to believe it, too.”

“What’s that?”

“That every connection happens for a reason. Or at least, every type of connection does. You only fall in love with the people you’re meant to, you have the strongest connections with the people who are going to be most important to you. I know you’ve got some thing about touching people, but I guess you’ll know what I’m talking about. Some are stronger than others, right?” Rachel nodded slowly. “And your ones with Kurt and Blaine?”

“They’re stronger than most. All, actually.”

“And they found you again, didn’t they?”

“So you think it’s fate?”

“Call it what you want. But Kurt doesn’t love you because he doesn’t have a choice. He chose to love you, to love you more than his body told him to. He wanted you to be his friend, he wanted to care about you. The connection started it, but he kept it up by himself. So that’s what I care about: what makes him think you’re worth it.”

Rachel looked down at her hands, slotting her fingers together and twisting them a little. “What if you don’t find what you’re looking for?”

“I will. I trust Kurt, I trust Kurt’s judgement. He loves you for a reason, and if he does, I’m sure I’ll be able to learn.”

“But why would you want to? You don’t have to be my friend just because Kurt is.”

“I’m not just doing it for that.” Mercedes sighed. “Rachel, look at me.” Rachel lifted her eyes to find Mercedes’ warm gaze staring back at her, a smile in her eyes. “I want you to know that you have someone here you can talk to. I’ve been through school not having anyone, and I was lucky enough to find friends in glee who made me feel like I wasn’t alone. I don’t want you to feel like I did, and I know how hard it is. I’ve seen Kurt struggle for so long, you know? I’m surprised he hasn’t gone crazy in that house.” She shifted in her chair. “It’s not a pity thing, okay? It’s not because I want to do good and look after the lonely faerie girl. I just want you to have someone.”

Rachel hugged her arms around herself, giving Mercedes a shaky smile. “Thank you.”

“Do you want to hug me?”

Rachel blinked. “Would you – would you be okay with that? You know that I—”

“Kurt connected with me by accident and I’m still here for him. Never leaving.”

Rachel stared at her, trying to imagine having a girl like this in her life. The prospect wasn’t scary, not at all; she’d never actually had a close girl friend, not since she was young. “Okay.” She stood up and Mercedes followed her. “I’m going to hug you now,” she said with a grin.

Mercedes opened her arms to her and Rachel stepped into them. Their cheeks brushed together and Mercedes held Rachel tight while her whole body shook, her heart realigning itself and everything fizzing and brightening for a minute. When it settled, Rachel found herself in Mercedes’ arms, her heart warm and feeling too big for her chest. “You’re an amazing friend, Mercedes.”

Mercedes stroked a hand up her back, laughing by her ear. “Guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

“Warbler Blaine, you’re late.”

“I know, Wes, I’m sorry,” Blaine said, breathlessly dropping into a seat in the commons. He’d hit unexpected traffic on the early morning drive from Kurt’s house, and it would have been fine if the council hadn’t scheduled a before school practice to prepare for their latest performance: the best old persons’ home in Western Ohio, apparently. (Everything got very slow after Regionals. Both New Directions and the Warblers losing to the other team had been a shock, but the Warblers were nothing if not good losers. They picked themselves up, brushed themselves off, and started the rounds of every old, grumpy person in Ohio.)

“It really isn’t acceptable, Warbler Blaine.”

“It won’t happen again.”

Wes gave a nod and returned to the discussion, giving Blaine the chance to sink back into his seat. Blaine loved the Warblers dearly, but he wasn’t sure that this was going to be their best audience. They could perform other places, any other place, any place that didn’t smell like potpourri and disinfectant and cats.

Blaine tried to stay focused throughout the meeting, and he managed to hit all his marks right and not forget any of the words, so he wasn’t actually doing anything wrong. His heart wasn’t in it, though, and he thought it probably showed. But he was exhausted, physically and emotionally, and the upcoming performance wasn’t exactly going to be the highlight of his singing career.

“Blaine.” Wes called him over as all the other boys left the room, heading for the first class of the day. Blaine picked up his bag and headed over to his friend.

“I’m sorry, Wes, I know I was off today.”

“You weren’t bad,” Wes said, leading them out into the hallway. “You just weren’t your best.”

“I know, I’ve just got a lot of things to think about.”

“Well, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” Blaine raised an eyebrow at him, and Wes continued. “You’re a good friend of mine, Blaine. We’ve all been a little worried about you lately. You seem – unfocused, like your head’s somewhere else.”

“I’m sorry—”

“I’m not just talking about practice, Blaine. I don’t really care about that.” Blaine gave him a look. “Okay, I care a lot, but I meant that I’m worried about you the rest of the time. What’s going on with you?”

Blaine wished he could tell Wes everything. Wes was a good listener – it was part of the reason he was on the council. He heard without judgement and he gave good advice. Blaine just wished this was something he had the right to tell. “I’m okay, Wes.”

“Is it a boy thing?”

“What?” Blaine laughed. “Are you asking me about boy troubles, Wes?”

“Well, you’ve worn that pin every day for a while now, and you’ve been distracted and lost in your own head, so I have to wonder.”

Blaine’s hand came up on instinct to trace a finger around Kurt’s circle pin. “I just like this pin.”

“I think your blush tells me you’re lying.”

Blaine shoved Wes playfully, laughing with him. “Leave me alone.”

“Is it that Kurt guy?”

“What?” Blaine knew he’d asked too quickly by the look Wes was giving him.

“It is, isn’t it?” Wes grinned. “I knew it, the first time you said his name. It was like he was sunshine or something.”

“We weren’t even dating then,” Blaine protested without thinking. He clamped his mouth shut as soon as he realised what he’d said, earning a laugh from Wes.

“Oh, the Warblers are going to love this.”

“Wes, no, please don’t tell them.”

“No, no, this is perfect. People have been making bets.”

“About what?”

“What you’re thinking about. Most of the guys have put money on a guy, so you’ve just made a lot of people happy.”

Blaine groaned. “I should just quit the Warblers now. Never show my face again.”

“Come on, Blaine, it’s not that bad. I’m happy for you.”

“Sure, sure.”

“No, look.” Wes took his arm, stopping him. “I know I’m teasing you about it, but if you’re happy, I’m glad for you.”

“I am happy.”

“So, was he the reason you were late this morning?”

Blaine turned from him. “I’m going to class.”

“That’s a yes!” Wes called after him. Blaine waved his hand, trying to dismiss him, but with his back turned, he was grinning.

School with Mercedes was decidedly brighter.

Rachel ate lunch in the cafeteria for the first time since the very first day of high school. At first she and Mercedes sat at a table by themselves, with the table of glee kids shooting them confused glances. After a few days, a girl Mercedes introduced as Tina joined them, giving Rachel a tentative smile. Mercedes had promised her quietly that none of the glee kids knew what Rachel was and that Mercedes wouldn’t let anyone connect with her unless she wanted them to.

Tina was sweet; quiet at first, but once they got over the initial awkwardness, could talk just as much as Rachel and Mercedes. Lunch swiftly became Rachel’s favourite part of the day. Tina’s boyfriend Mike joined them a few days later, and Rachel huddled close to Mercedes to keep the distance between them all safe enough for her to relax. None of the other glee kids joined them, but she was content with that. She and Tina swiftly became friends, and she’d learned to enjoy Mike’s random bouts of dancing in his seat and the almost sickening perfection of his relationship with Tina. She’d catch Mercedes watching her sometimes, smiling in that way that made her feel proud, something she couldn’t quite explain.

She started braving the hallways after a while, with Mercedes by her side. They kept close to each other and on the edge of the crowd, and it was both terrifying and thrilling for Rachel. She was much safer than she thought she would be – people didn’t come too close to her, not often, and she could avoid contact with relative ease. Just walking where everyone else walked, not taking empty hallways and long routes, made her feel less isolated.

She saw things, sometimes, things she would have missed out on before.

“We need to talk about this now, Finn, we’re running out of time.”

“But prom’s weeks away.” Finn shut his locker, slung his backpack over his shoulder, and frowned at Quinn. “I don’t know why you keep acting like this.”

“It’s two weeks away, actually. All the other candidates have put their posters up, but you won’t even talk to me about it.”

“Well, if they’re so important, why don’t you just do them?”

Quinn put her hands on her hips, expression pinched, but Rachel could see something in her eyes that looked far deeper. “I thought we could make them together, considering we’re a couple, but if they’re that unimportant to you, I suppose I’ll just have to make them myself.”

Finn nodded and gave her a small attempt at a smile. “Awesome. You know how to do these things better than me, anyway. Want me to walk you?”

Quinn glanced at the offer of his hand, but shook her head. “We’re going opposite ways.”

“I don’t mind.”

Quinn looked like she wanted to refuse, Rachel could see it, and although she didn’t like to admit it, she could understand. Finn seemed completely uncaring about the whole idea of prom – Rachel was aware, they’d discussed it. For Quinn, Rachel was certain this was one of the most important points in her high school career. Rachel knew from experience how obtuse Finn could be.

He glanced up just before he took Quinn’s hand, seeing Rachel paused across the hallway. He raised his hand in greeting, slipping it right from under Quinn’s fingers as she was taking it. Rachel smiled in return, but her eyes flicked to Quinn’s. She was looking at her with that vicious expression Rachel had been on the receiving end of a few times now, but it had never made her feel so guilty before.

“Rachel, what are you doing?”

She turned from them, to Mercedes. “Sorry, got distracted.”

Mercedes looked over Rachel’s shoulder, to where Quinn and Finn were heading down the hallway. “Can I ask about you and Finn?”

“There is no me and Finn,” Rachel replied, starting them walking again. “He’s dating Quinn.”

“And they look happy as anything.” Mercedes’ voice was thick with sarcasm.

“They’re still dating.” Rachel wrapped an arm around herself, the hurt in Quinn’s eyes replaying in her head. She’d always thought of Finn’s relationship with Quinn as an abstract, something to be disposed with quickly and painlessly. Quinn had always seemed so brittle and fake that she wasn’t human to Rachel, she wasn’t a consideration at all. But they had been dating for two years, albeit with a break in the middle. Quinn had wanted Finn to be the father of her child, had wanted him to be tied to her forever. Rachel had never let herself realise the level of attachment indicated by that. For all she knew, Quinn was head over heels for Finn, and Rachel was taking him away.

Rachel linked her arm with Mercedes’. They were almost at the end of the hallway when a cold slap hit them across the face. They gasped, stumbling at the onslaught of slushie. Rachel stood, stunned, as the nameless Letterman jackets walked off, high fiving people as they went.

Rachel had never been slushied before. People didn’t interact with her at all, and that extended to the facefuls of cold ice. Mercedes was sluicing it off her face beside her. She glanced at Rachel, seeing her frozen on the spot, dripping red slush.

“Here, make sure it doesn’t get in your eyes.” She wiped at Rachel’s face, clearing some of it off.

Rachel glanced around the hallway, seeing all the people glancing at her as they passed. It was humiliating in the basest, cruellest way it could be. Her eyes trailed up the hall to where Finn’s back was retreating. Quinn, beside him, had turned her head, watching. Their eyes met and Rachel had to blink back tears when Quinn smirked at her and turned back to Finn.

“Come on.” Mercedes took her by the arm, leading her towards a bathroom. “I have spare clothes in my locker.”

“I did something awful today.”

Blaine looked up. Quinn had been silent since she’d sat down, and he’d decided to just wait it out, drinking his coffee and saying nothing. “What was it?”

“I… I told some guys to slushie her. Rachel.”

“To what, sorry?”

“Slushie. The ice drinks they sell at our school, jocks throw them at people.”

“They what?”

“I know.” Quinn sighed, pushing her cup away from her. “It’s horrible. It’s so… so humiliating. And I told them to. I made them do it because my boyfriend waved at her. I’m… not a good person, Blaine.”

“You are, Quinn. It was a bad thing to do, I won’t deny that, but you’re feeling remorse for it. Everyone goes wrong sometimes, but you’ve known it, every time you have. You’ve felt bad for it, and that’s more than a lot of people can say.”

“But I still do it. And why? Because my boyfriend likes her more than he likes me?”

Blaine sighed. “I really think you need to talk to Finn about this.”

“What am I supposed to say? He already thinks I’m crazy. Don’t look at me like that, he does. He thinks I’m his overbearing, crazy girlfriend who only thinks about herself. I mean, he’s not wrong, is he?”

“Maybe you need to think about yourself, considering he doesn’t seem to be.”

“You don’t know him, Blaine, you don’t know how sweet he can be.”

Blaine looked down at his cup. He hated lying to Quinn. She’d never brought it up like this before, making Blaine feel like he was deceiving her outright rather than simply omitting parts of the truth. She had so many people playing her already, he felt awful for adding to that number. He wanted to just let it out, but she was too volatile when she was injured. He didn’t want to lose her entirely, and that was what would happen. He would tell her the truth and she’d feel betrayed, rightly so, and Blaine would never see her again. Maybe it was self-important of him, but he thought that Quinn needed him. He seemed to be her one outlet for all of this pain.

He took a sip of his coffee, guilt already rife in his gut.

“I know that he should notice how awful he’s making you feel. He shouldn’t be spending so much time with Rachel if he knows it’s hurting you, or he should at least be making it clear to both you and her that it isn’t more than friendship. It’s unfair to you to watch him act this way with another girl.”

“He won’t make prom posters with me.”

Blaine bit the ‘I know’ on his lips. Finn had complained about Quinn and her obsession with prom more times than Blaine cared to count. Every time, he grew more and more frustrated.

“It’s like he doesn’t care at all. Maybe prom isn’t that important to him, but he knows how important it is to me. It’s been all I’ve dreamed of for my entire childhood. I’ve been planning this since before I could walk. He could make an effort to pretend, at least.”

Watching this happen to Quinn was painful for Blaine. He hated arriving at Kurt’s every day to find Rachel there, curled up beside Finn and chattering away about things Blaine couldn’t listen to (herself, mostly), and knowing that they were hurting Quinn more by the second. He loved Rachel, and that was perhaps one of the worst parts of it. He wanted to shake sense into her and make her see that what she was doing was harmful. She was selfish, he had learnt that quickly, but had learned to overlook it because beneath that she had a good heart and she was kind to those she loved. He had known that about her, but he’d have thought someone else’s boyfriend was too far.

“I’m sorry, we only ever talk about me. What’s happening with you?” Quinn pushed the last piece of biscotti towards him and Blaine snapped it in half, offering one to her.

“I told my dad that I have a boyfriend and he was surprisingly okay with it. He apologised, actually, for not – not really being a father to me since I came out.”

Quinn grinned, an honest smile like Blaine didn’t get to see often. It lit up her whole countenance. “That’s amazing.”

“Yeah.” Blaine let out a laugh, shaking his head. “Yeah, it is. I’ve just gone so long thinking I’d never be able to really talk to my parents again. Maybe I never will, with my mom, but I think… my dad and me, I think we’re on the way, and that feels so good.”

“I know what you mean. When my mom was there for me, when she came back and held my hand while I had Beth… it was the best feeling in the world. I’m so happy you can have that.”

Blaine smiled at her across the table. Maybe it would be okay. Maybe they would both be okay, in the end.

Blaine was fully prepared to drag Rachel away from Finn and make her see reason. He had planned out all the points he was going to make on the drive to Kurt’s house. His plans were thrown to the wind, however, when he entered Kurt’s living room to find it full of people. Finn was on one couch, chatting with Mercedes and Rachel, who were on the other.

“Try not to be too shocked,” Kurt murmured.

Blaine shot him a confused glance, but at that moment Rachel caught sight of him and gave a happy little yelp, jumping out of her seat. She reached back a hand to Mercedes, dragging her with her, and Blaine grabbed at Kurt’s wrist.

“Are they…?”

“I know, it’s crazy.”

Rachel threw her arms around Blaine’s neck, giving him a tight squeeze, before passing him off to Mercedes. Blaine hugged her, brain still whirring in circles. “What’s going on?”

“We’re talking about prom,” Mercedes said.

“No, I meant.” He gestured between them.

“Oh. We’re friends,” Rachel said, pulling Mercedes into a sideways hug. “It’s actually… it’s nice having someone at school who knows.”

Finn let out and indignant ‘hey’ from the couch. They ignored him.

“Wow.” Blaine blinked a couple of times. “That’s great, guys.”

“I didn’t pressure her into connecting, Blaine, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Mercedes gave him a little nudge.

“No, no, sorry, it’s just been a long day.”

“Don’t know why you came here then,” Kurt muttered. “It’s like a crazy house. I swear, if they say one more thing about sequinned prom dresses.”

Blaine chuckled, slipping an arm around Kurt’s waist and drawing him towards the couch. They squeezed in beside Finn, leaving Rachel and Mercedes on the other one, already talking loudly about the benefits of matching boutonnieres.

“Finn’s been nominated for Prom King,” Kurt told Blaine, barely keeping the laugh out of his voice. Finn wasn’t watching them, staring instead at Rachel as she talked. A hot, protective creature rose up in Blaine’s chest.

“I know.”

“What?” Kurt frowned at him. “Oh. Oh. Of course you do.”

“He’s not being very good to his Queen, let’s put it that way.” Blaine frowned when Finn and Rachel’s gazes met and they shared smiles.

Kurt slid them around so all of their legs were drawn up onto the couch, Blaine’s over Kurt’s lap. “Think about happier things for a minute, okay?”

“I’m trying, I just keep getting distracted.” Blaine huffed in Finn’s direction.

Kurt rolled his eyes and pressed a swift kiss to Blaine’s lips. “I like having you over for breakfast. We should make it a thing.”

Blaine shifted his focus at last, staring into Kurt’s eyes. “That’s romantic, but you have no idea how much time I’d lose from my schedule. I’d have to stop doing my hair and I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Kurt’s eyes flicked up to Blaine’s gelled curls. “I don’t think I’d complain.”

Blaine shook his head, but he let Kurt kiss him. They got a little lost in it, only breaking apart when Mercedes heckled them. Kurt scowled at her, but Blaine kissed it away.

He would get sucked into watching Finn and Rachel sometimes, anger bubbling hotter and hotter, and it was all he could not to reach over and give Finn a physical piece of his mind. Kurt always drew him back, stroking a hand up his thigh or nuzzling his cheek or murmuring in his ear. He didn’t get it, not quite, because he hadn’t seen the other side the way Blaine had, but they couldn’t stop them from being in the same house and he knew that. Kurt just wished there was a way to keep everyone happy.

“They like each other,” Blaine whispered after a while. Kurt didn’t reply, just watching him. “They’d… work, I guess. In a weird, annoying sort of way. I’ve never seen Quinn with him, I don’t know what it’s like. It doesn’t sound easy though, and this is…” He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his cheek against Kurt’s. “What if they’re better for each other?”

“Then they’re better for each other. But they shouldn’t try to figure that out until Finn’s available.”

Blaine nodded, sighing. “Why do they all have to do this? Why do they have to make it so complicated?”

“They’re human.”

And that was the problem. They were all different kinds of human – different variations; jock and gleek and nerd; faerie and non-faerie. They were all shapes, sizes, colours, mindsets, but they all erred just the same, and there was no force in the world that could stop them.

Rachel paused at the end of the mostly empty hallway, clutching her books to her chest. She watched Quinn change things out of her locker, noting the stiffness in her back that wasn’t just from Sue Sylvester’s Tirade Against Bad Posture. Her ponytail was high on her head today, higher than normal.

Rachel sighed and forced herself to move before the courage went completely. She kept her eyes on the floor and her pace quick as she approached her. When she stopped beside Quinn, she was thrown a glance which swiftly turned into a sneer of disgust before the green eyes were focusing on the locker again. Quinn said nothing, but Rachel had been expecting that. Queens only spoke to the lowly when being entreated to.

“Quinn, I know you’re angry.” She paused, but she needed to say it. She stood a little straighter. “I’m sorry about what’s happening to you and if I could change things, I would. Finn is my friend, nothing more. I wanted you to know that.”

Quinn closed her locker, hand resting on the outside. “What does it matter?” Her voice was soft and Rachel hadn’t known she was capable of sounding so fragile. She had thought she was all ice. “It’s not going to change anything, in the end. I can’t keep Finn with me, the way I couldn’t keep Puck, or my dad, or Beth. I couldn’t hold on to any of them.” She laughed, but the humour was black. She leaned back against the banks of metal. “And you just walk in, all yourself, and take what you don’t ask for. I’ve actively tried to make your life hard, but things keep seeming so easy for you.”

“That’s not true, Quinn. I have plenty of things I have to fight for and many of them are bigger than me.” She ducked her head, trying to catch Quinn’s eye and wondering why she felt so sorry for this girl who had everything. Rachel thought she was starting to realise that that wasn’t true – Quinn was just as terrified as the rest of the world. “You don’t need them, not any of them. You don’t need someone else to make you yourself.”

“You just don’t get it, do you?” Quinn looked up at her and Rachel was shocked to see the tears in her eyes. “It’s not like that for me,” she said, voice thick. “I am my uniform and the guy I’m with. To this school, that’s what defines me. You don’t get that because you’ve never been where I am. People avoid you no matter what you do. The expectations are different.”

“But why do you have to do what’s expected? Why can’t you be who you want?”

Quinn smiled, the curve twisting across her face into a grimace. “Because I don’t want to be like you.”

Rachel nodded, silent. They were suspended for a few moments, paused in the empty hallway with far more than silence pressed between them.

Quinn straightened up and adjusted her hair, pulling it even tighter. Rachel just watched her, knowing this was probably the first and last of this kind of moment for them. Quinn gave her a small smile that didn’t meet her eyes. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

Quinn just shrugged, already turning from her. Rachel shifted her books into one arm, ready to walk away. Suddenly, Quinn span back to her. She grabbed Rachel’s wrist and spoke frantically, eyes piercing into her. “You do not breathe a word of this, Berry.”

Rachel nodded, Quinn’s hand a pulsing brand on her skin. Quinn pulled back, satisfied, and stalked off down the hallway.

Rachel’s hand slammed against Quinn’s locker as she tried to keep herself upright. She could feel her knees trying to fall out from under her, head spinning as molten emotion pulsed through her veins. She didn’t understand it. She had felt this way before, she knew she had. The feeling was so familiar, but the intensity nearly brought her down. She gasped in lungfuls of air, staring at the empty hallway where Quinn had been.

Nothing made sense. The world must have stopped turning, or the universe was collapsing in on itself because Rachel just did not understand. She couldn’t be in love with Quinn Fabray. She just couldn’t.