That was the word that best summed it up for Kurt. It was like yellow kitchen cupboards, bed socks and a gospel choir hugged up into a sensation. There were bright smiles and random bursts of song that made Kurt laugh more freely than he had in a long time.

Mercedes wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning their sides together as they sat at the dinner table. Kurt could feel his shoulders relaxing and a weight he didn’t know he had lifting from around his heart. He hadn’t connected with anyone. Mercedes had been very adamant that he was going to get to know them first because she was not letting Kurt go down that path. She’d offered to cut Rachel for him when he explained what had happened in that pink bedroom. (He had politely and a little forcefully declined.)

He wasn’t angry at Rachel because he couldn’t be. She had an addiction Kurt knew she would have to deal with, and hurting others in search of justification was going to be a part of that process. He was mostly angry at himself for remaining content at his sheltered lifestyle, for that tiny part of him that still thought Rachel was right.

He let Mercedes’ house and family wrap around him with comfortable chairs and good home cooking and forgot about Rachel for a little while. Mercedes’ little brother Abel was probably the cutest thing Kurt had ever seen, with big bright eyes and a smile that showed all his teeth. He kept stealing Kurt’s carrots when he thought Kurt wasn’t looking. Her parents had welcomed Kurt into their home, lamenting that he hadn’t been there before, but ensuring him they understood his father’s decision to keep extra-familial connections to a minimum.

Kurt loved them and he didn’t need his body to tell him that. He knew he would touch them all at some point, but it didn’t really matter when, because he was already welcomed and comfortable enough.

“You’re all so… wholesome,” Kurt whispered into Mercedes’ ear.

She laughed and kissed his cheek. “You happy?”

“I’m perfect.”

“You going to be okay, Kurt?” Mercedes squeezed his cheeks in her hands, frowning up at him.

“I’ll be fine. Thank you for this. Last night was… enlightening.” He grinned and leaned down to give her a hug.

“Don’t let her get to you,” she said in his ear, rocking them from side to side.

Kurt just hummed in reply. His life suddenly felt so normal. He’d had a sleepover at a friend’s house for the first time in his life, spent time with an extremely functional and welcoming family, spilled out his problems to his best friend, and there had still been time for a movie musical and face masks. He knew that wasn’t the evening of a typical teenage boy, but it at least made him feel more human.

“You seeing Blaine today?”

“Of course.”

She laughed and squeezed his arm. “You two make me sick sometimes.”

“You’re just jealous.”

“Nuh-uh. You have no idea – there a thousands of McKinley Titans just falling at these feet.”

Kurt shook his head. “Okay, okay, tell me about them next time. Tell your brother good luck in his game.”

“Not like he needs it. That boy’s bat is magnetically attracted to baseballs, I swear. There’s some kind of crazy magic going on there.”

“Tell him anyway.”

“He’s going to love you even more. I can tell, as soon as you’re gone it’s gonna be ‘when’s Kurt coming over again?’ every single day.”

Kurt blushed. “That’s very flattering.” He shook his shoulders out. “Okay, okay, I need to leave or I’m going to end up with a Needy Boyfriend Problem.”

From: Blaine
Love you too.

“I hate not seeing you,” Blaine said as soon as the door was open. He wrapped an arm around Kurt’s waist, kissed his cheek, and pushed the door shut behind him. “Roll call?”

“Finn: Puck’s. Dad, Carole: work.”

“I love your family.”

“My dad’s going to catch on soon, you know. He’s been going easy because we’d just started going out and then Rachel happened, but just you wait.”

“All the more reason to capitalise.” Blaine grinned, and then kissed Kurt again, on his lips this time. He crowded him towards the staircase until Kurt tripped up the first few steps backwards. Kurt pulled away, laughing, and led Blaine up by the hand. When the door of his room snapped behind them, he expected Blaine to jump him again, but he seemed to have come to his senses a bit. “Rachel.”

Kurt’s shoulders tensed up, all the Jones’ hard work clenched away. “Not now.”

“Yes, now. She told me what happened.”

“So you know the whole story. We can stop talking about it now.”

“Promise me she didn’t make you think about it.”

Kurt ran his fingers through the hair above his right ear, crossing his other arm over himself. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Blaine put a hand to his elbow. “Tell me you haven’t considered doing what she does. Touching strangers. Using love as a drug, tell me you haven’t, Kurt, please.”

He couldn’t quite look Blaine in the eye. “I haven’t considered it. I’ve thought about it. That’s different.”

“Kurt—”

“I’ve thought about the idea of it. I haven’t had a moment where I actually want to do it. I’m not going to do that to myself, I promise.” He saw Blaine nod out of the corner of his eye. “Are we done now?”

Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt’s waist, resting his head on his shoulder. “I’m just worried about you. I know Rachel’s the first faerie you’ve met and she’s not exactly a normal one. I trust you do the right thing for yourself, but it doesn’t stop me from thinking about what might happen.” He kissed Kurt’s jaw. “I’m sorry if I ruined the mood.”

“No, you’re fine.” Kurt pressed his fingertips into Blaine’s side, leaning into him. “I love that you care. I’d do the same for you. Actually, I’d be so much worse. You’re lucky it’s this way round.”

Blaine hummed his reply. His arms shifted around Kurt. “Can we have more kissing now?”

“Again with the clingy.”

“It’s not clingy! I just like—” He was cut off by Kurt’s mouth over his own. His muffled words turned into a whimper as Kurt’s fingers threaded into his hair and tugged. He tipped Blaine’s head back, tongue tracing over his lips, but pulled away all too soon.

“Bed,” he said when Blaine tried to protest.

Blaine immediately clenched his fingers around the fabric of Kurt’s cardigan and dragged him to the bed. Kurt grinned at Blaine’s enthusiasm. Blaine scrambled backwards up the bed, stretching out and waiting for Kurt to lie down beside him. Kurt looked down at him, laid out with his bare toes stretching out, wiggling just a little. His shirt was caught in the covers, pulling up to bare a stretch of skin. He smiled up at Kurt, eyes and heart wide open to him, and he reached out like a child, fingers grappling at the air. Kurt threaded their fingers together and climbed onto the bed. He lay down next to him and immediately tucked his head under his chin, letting their hands be trapped between their chests.

“I thought we were kissing.”

“We were. Now we’re cuddling.”

Blaine huffed a laughed against Kurt’s hair. “Okay. I like cuddling, but can we save it until afterwards?”

“So presumptuous, Blaine.”

Blaine whined; hooked a leg over Kurt’s hip. “It’s been forever. I think I’m dying. I’m like a man in a desert here, Kurt. No water for weeks.”

“Oh my god,” Kurt laughed, pushing himself out from under Blaine’s chin to lean over him, dropping a kiss to the tip of his nose. “Stop before you hurt yourself.”

“Did it work?”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Horrifically, yes.” Blaine barely had time to grin before Kurt was hooking a hand behind his knee, rolling onto his back and drawing Blaine on top of him. “Better?”

“So much.” Blaine started pressing kisses down his neck. They settled into silence and kisses, lips sliding over each other, tongues licking at each other, hips rocking together until Kurt pulled away, gasping.

“Blaine.”

“Mmm.” Blaine was sucking at a spot on Kurt’s neck, making Kurt writhe.

“I want… I – ah.”

Blaine stilled above him and Kurt’s hands immediately slid to cup Blaine’s ass through his jeans, pulling his hips forwards to get the friction back again.

“Kurt…”

“Your hand, I want your hand.” Blaine tried to stop again, but Kurt just hooked an arm around his neck, one hand still pressing them together. He drew Blaine’s ear close to his mouth to whisper against it. “It’s not too fast for me. I want it, if you want to.”

Blaine knew his reasons for thinking this was a bad idea, even through the haze Kurt had put in his head. They made him want to refuse, but Kurt sounded so sure. He was laying himself out for it and Blaine’s hand had started to stroke down Kurt’s torso without him realising. His fingers snuck under the waistband of Kurt’s jeans, his briefs, sliding over his hipbone. Kurt bucked up into the touch.

“Is that a yes?” he breathed out, only just not choking around the words when Blaine’s fingers started to rub back and forth over his hipbone.

Blaine just smiled, propped himself up on one elbow, and drew his hand back to unbutton Kurt’s jeans. Kurt grinned up at him, feeling giddy, then closed his eyes on a moan when Blaine cupped him through his briefs. Blaine tried to understand the feeling of having Kurt in his hand. It was almost too much, the way his cock was straining up against his underwear, the way Blaine could feel it.

He knelt up, settling back on his heels. Kurt blinked his eyes open to find Blaine staring at him, eyes raking up his body; his sprawled limbs, the rapid rise and fall of his chest, his flushed cheeks, and there, there where Blaine could see how hard he was. He let out a choked sound and scrabbled at Kurt’s jeans, tugging them off. Kurt laughed a little at the frantic movements, but stopped quickly once Blaine was back, pushing Kurt’s shirt up his chest and hooking his fingers under the waistband of his briefs.

He paused then, looking up to catch Kurt’s gaze, to check just one last time. Kurt nodded, dizzy smile widening. Blaine gave a decisive nod of his head and Kurt nearly laughed again.

Blaine tugged at the fabric, pulling it down to Kurt’s mid-thigh. Blaine stopped there, trying not to gape. He felt all the air getting trapped up in his chest as he forgot to breathe because “You’re so beautiful.”

Kurt shifted, drawing his feet a little further up the bed, setting his legs wider apart. “Blaine.” His voice was lower than Blaine was used to, growly at the edges. His stomach drew up tight at the sound.

He scrambled to hover over Kurt again, kissing him hard on the mouth, licking at his lips until Kurt opened his own, tilting his head up. He pulled back. Smirked. He shuffled down the bed again, staring at Kurt’s cock, which was lying flat against his stomach. He took it in his hand, looking up in time to see Kurt’s eyelids flutter closed over the whites as his eyes rolled back. Blaine steadied himself with one arm wrapped around Kurt’s thigh, and began to stroke his hand back and forth. He was transfixed by the movement, how he could feel the weight of Kurt in his palm, the heat of him. He bit into the skin of Kurt’s knee, trying not to moan out loud.

Kurt was panting, little ‘ah’ sounds stumbling out occasionally. Blaine tightened his grip and Kurt grabbed his wrist. Before Blaine could start apologising, Kurt brought Blaine’s palm to his mouth and licked it. He locked eyes with him, tongue striping back and forth. He sucked Blaine’s fingers into his mouth and closed his eyes, moaning around them. Blaine pulled his hand back, choking on his own breath. Kurt licked his teeth, smiling wickedly.

Blaine gripped him again and Kurt’s smile dropped as he gasped. The slide was easier now, and Blaine was using it. He sped up, hand slipping easily. He paused, brushed a thumb over the head of Kurt’s cock. Kurt moaned, the sound guttural, like it was being torn out of him, and Blaine couldn’t believe he was doing this with just his hand.

Kurt’s fingers wrapped tight around Blaine’s forearm. “Blaine… Blaine, s-so…” He gasped, back arching. “Now.”

“Yeah,” Blaine said, though he didn’t know what it was in reply to. He kissed Kurt’s knee and started moving faster, hand flying over Kurt’s dick until the muscles in his forearm were seizing up and Kurt was yelling, hands clutching at the headboard. He arched, his hips snapped up, pushing his cock through Blaine’s fist once more. He broke, some inhuman sound ripping through him, and he was spurting across Blaine’s fist, his own stomach, Blaine’s wrist. Blaine kept stroking him, pulling everything out of him until Kurt was pushing his hips into the bed, leaning away from the too much of it.

Kurt’s muscles relaxed, everything falling loose. His hands dropped from the headboard, arms just falling onto the pillows around his head. Blaine’s eyes slid over him from head to toe, taking him all in. Kurt looked utterly wrecked. The blush high on his cheekbones had spread all the way down his chest. His legs were spread wide, tilting onto the bed. His skin was splattered with come, stretching up his torso. His eyes were closed, mouth open in an expression of utter, boneless bliss.

Blaine had to look away before it became impossible. He climbed off the bed, went to Kurt’s en suite, returning with a wet flannel. He paused in the doorway, breath punched out of him. Kurt hadn’t moved, and from where he stood Blaine could see all of him; his entire, debauched, pliant body. Kurt tilted his head on the pillow; opened his eyes as though something heavy was pressing on his eyelids. A smile tilted the edges of his lips and his fingers flexed, as though he were trying to lift a hand.

Blaine went to him. He sat on the edge of the bed and stroked the cloth over Kurt’s stomach, the insides of his thighs. Kurt watched as Blaine cleaned him up, and felt life slowly melt back into his muscles. He still felt weightless, but a little less like liquid, a little more formed.

Blaine was back from the bathroom again and lying down beside him. Kurt wasn’t aware of having closed his eyes until he opened them again. Blaine was grinning at him, stroking his collarbone.

“Hi.”

Kurt hummed in the back of his throat. Words weren’t quite back yet.

Blaine kissed his forehead. “You can sleep. I won’t go anywhere.”

Kurt whined in protest. He could see Blaine shifting uncomfortably, still hard in his jeans. He tried moving a hand, wanting to show he could return the favour, but Blaine stopped him, pressing his fingers in between Kurt’s and holding them back. “It’s okay. You sleep. If your family’s still out when you wake up, then…”

Kurt tried to nod, but he couldn’t remember which part of him his head was. He blinked instead. He kept blinking, eyes dropping closed. He felt the brush of Blaine’s lips over his before he drifted into sleep.

When Kurt woke, it was still light outside. He felt Blaine pressed against him, head on Kurt’s chest, leg slung over his waist, arm across his stomach. Kurt stretched out, pointing his toes and enjoying the pull on his muscles. He glanced at the clock. They still had time.

He kissed Blaine’s head. When he didn’t stir, Kurt stroked his neck, thumb rubbing behind his ear. Blaine snuffled against Kurt’s chest, whining in the back of his throat. Kurt smiled, heart feeling larger all of a sudden, because his boyfriend was just too adorable. He tapped the back of Blaine’s head. Blaine started to shift against Kurt, sliding closer. Kurt felt a small flip in his stomach when he realised Blaine was still hard, pressing against his hip.

“Blaine.” He kissed his head again.

Finally, Blaine tilted his face up, blinking groggily. “Kurrrrt.” His mouth was still a little swollen with sleep and the word only made it out in a long string.

Kurt stroked a hand up Blaine’s back. “Come on. Nobody’s home yet.”

Blaine pressed his face into Kurt’s chest, but tried pushing himself up a bit. “What?”

“Nobody’s home, Blaine. We’re still alone. And you’re still hard, so.”

Blaine snorted. He succeeded in lifting his head, and then rolled away, flopping onto his back and turning his head on the pillow to look at Kurt. “I’m sorry. I’m not the one who gets sleepy after orgasms.”

“Hey, that’s not true!”

“It’s happened both times, Kurt.”

“The first one was in extenuating circumstances.”

“And the second one?”

“You try coming that hard and staying awake. I don’t know what you did, Blaine, but god. I think I forgot I existed for a minute there.”

Blaine blushed and turned to look at the ceiling. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“Enjoyed it?” Kurt leaned up on one elbow, face hovering over Blaine’s. “I’ve never felt anything like that in my life. I only hope I can give you something half as good in return.”

Blaine’s eyes continued to watch the paintwork. “Do you want to?”

“Hmm?”

“Give… Return the favour, or whatever.”

Kurt leaned over him, pressing a kiss to his jaw. “Of course I do. In fact, I was planning on doing that right now.” He slid a hand over Blaine’s stomach. “I want to do so many things to you, Blaine. I want to make you feel good.” He could hear Blaine’s breathing pick up. He slipped his hand lower, pressing over Blaine where he was still hard, squeezing lightly. “I keep thinking… Blaine, I want you in my mouth.” He squeezed again, pressing his hand hard against Blaine.

“Wh-what?”

“I want to blow you, please, let me do it.”

“I…” He moaned in the back of his throat when Kurt’s hand slipped under his jeans, gripping him through the fabric of his underwear. He tried to un-stick his throat.

“Yeah?” Kurt’s hands were at his jeans again, undoing them swiftly and pushing them down.

“Wait, say that again,” Blaine said, opening his eyes.

“What?”

“What did you say?”

“I want to blow you.” Kurt grinned, then disappeared, pulling Blaine’s jeans down his legs. He tugged his own shirt over his head, dropping it on the floor. He pushed at the bottom of Blaine’s until he lifted his arms. When Blaine was lying back in just his boxers, Kurt took a moment to look him over. He pressed a hand over Blaine’s cock again, which he could see outlined through his underwear.

“Wait.”

Kurt looked up. Blaine was frowning, his shoulders drawing up infinitesimally. Kurt drew his hand back. He lay down beside him again, keeping a few inches between their bodies. “Okay. Sorry, was that too fast?”

“Um, yeah, a little.”

Kurt waited, not saying anything, while Blaine’s eyes flicked back and forth from one edge of the ceiling to the other.

“Look, it’s great that you’re ready for that,” Blaine said, voice low. “I know you won’t pressure me into it. I just need you to know I’m not there yet. The… the blowjobs. I can do hands. I really, really want to do hands, and this isn’t coming out right, but I want that. This. I want this but not… that.”

Kurt pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Okay, I get it. Hands but not mouths.”

“Yeah.”

Kurt kissed his cheek again. “I don’t mind. I can’t do things unless you’re comfortable with them.” Blaine nodded. “But… you do want this, for now. So do you want me to…? I really want to show you what it’s like.”

Blaine turned to him. Their eyes met and he just stared at Kurt for a moment, trying to dig something out of his gaze. “I would like that.”

“Okay.” Kurt kissed him. “I love you.” He pressed their lips together, fingers dancing down Blaine’s stomach again. The muscles quivered under the touch. He slid his fingers quickly inside Blaine’s underwear and wrapped a hand around him. Blaine let out a broken-off moan into Kurt’s mouth.

Kurt stroked him, feeling Blaine harden against his hand. All of his skin was tingling at the sensation. He broke his lips from Blaine’s to watch as he pushed the boxers down, freeing Blaine’s cock. He bit his lip at the sight. Blaine was thick in his hand, the head slick. Kurt had to slip his thumb over it, just to feel the slide of it. Blaine’s hips bucked and Kurt gasped. He watched Blaine slide through his hand. He was about to get hard just from watching this, watching himself do this to Blaine.

His gaze trailed up Blaine’s chest, his tensed muscles, quivering, up to his face. His eyes were closed, eyelashes fanning out across his cheek. Kurt wanted to lie back one day, with Blaine bathed in sunlight, and count each one. But it wasn’t the time, because Blaine’s mouth had fallen open. He could see his tongue wetting the roof of his mouth, see the vibrations of his lips when he moaned.

Kurt wanted to crawl out of his skin. He felt as if he could. Step out and see them; watch the whole scene unfold; watch himself take Blaine apart.

Blaine drew his knees up. His toes curled into the sheets. Kurt had been so captivated by his expression and the sight of his hand on Blaine’s cock that he had missed the steady mantra of ‘Kurt’ that had been on Blaine’s lips for the last minute.

Kurt pressed kisses, open-mouthed and wet, to Blaine’s jaw. “You okay?”

Blaine keened, pushing up on his heels and pressing into Kurt’s hand. “Close.”

Kurt bit into the skin just under Blaine’s jaw. He sucked it between his teeth, tongue licking over it. He moved faster, trying to bring Blaine right to the edge, tip him over it. He moaned against his skin, still sucking on the same spot.

Blaine started to tremble beneath him. Kurt pulled back, looking back down to where his hand was stroking Blaine. “Come on,” he whispered.

Blaine swore loudly and came. He pulled Kurt’s head towards him, kissing him sloppily as he continued to spill across his palm.

Kurt kept kissing him, the desperate press of mouths falling into small, soft pecks. He took his hand away from Blaine, stroking his hip and kissing him, kissing him, kissing him. Blaine was barely kissing back. Kurt stopped and laid his head on Blaine’s shoulder. “Love you.”

“Lo…” Blaine yawned. “Love you.”

“Now who’s sleepy after orgasms?”

“Hey…” Blaine was going to give a witty reply, but Hypnos was whispering in his ear. Kurt’s hand stroking his hip was lulling him and he gave into it. The tiny fragment of him still conscious heard his phone buzz, but it didn’t register. He was tunnelling: there was only Kurt’s breath against his neck, Kurt’s hand on his hip, and then there was nothing.