Kurt pushed his bedroom door open with his back, balancing a tray with cups of coffee and cookies. He set it down on the bedside table and looked down at Blaine and Rachel, who were laughing and gesturing with their hands above their heads, fingers occasionally batting each other. It felt curiously domestic, like they’d been doing this forever. He tapped Rachel’s hip and she slid sideways so Kurt could lie down with them, staring up at his ceiling like they were. He passed them their cups and both leaned their heads up to sip, Kurt just turning his head on the pillow and looking at them.

Blaine was perfect for this; Kurt had realised that quickly. When Blaine’s look of shock at seeing Rachel had slipped almost immediately into one of welcome and familiarity, Kurt wondered why he’d ever felt trepidation. Rachel had been skittish when faced with someone who was her brother emotionally, but Blaine had been so simple about it. He befriended Rachel with the ease he did any other person and had her laughing within minutes. He skirted around the big topics because this was easy and fun, and why couldn’t those wait? Rachel was a teenage girl barely holding herself together, but with one conversation and a shared look with Kurt, Blaine had decided he was going to be there to help. He gave his love freely and expected nothing in return, although that was rarely what he received. It made Kurt think being a faerie would have suited him.

“—and they’ve finally paid for good lights in the auditorium, although I think that might have been Mr Schuester, so I can practise with the correct level of ambience.”

“Do you sing there often?”

“As often as I can. When the glee club isn’t using it.”

“But why don’t you just join glee club?”

“Dancing,” Kurt broke in, lifting his hands to link his pinkie finger with Rachel’s in the air. “As much as it pains me to think it, Rachel would probably be the star of that club, and that requires all sorts of dancing and an almost incestuous track record of relationships within the members.” He felt Rachel turn her head to look at him. “Finn’s my step-brother,” he explained.

“Finn Hudson?”

“Quarterback, glee club co-captain, freakishly tall. Know any other Finn Hudsons?”

Rachel dropped her hand and Kurt had to follow. She was silent. Blaine rolled onto his side, jostling all of them.

“You don’t have to feel pressured to connect to him, too. I’m sure Kurt and I are quite enough for now.” There was the warmth of a suppressed chuckle in his voice. Kurt stretched an arm over Rachel to hit his arm.

“I wouldn’t,” Kurt said to Rachel. “Having been down the connecting too early route with Finn, I do not advise it.”

“There’s a funny story about that, actually.”

“Blaine, don’t you dare.”

“You know Kurt used to have a crush on Finn?”

It worked. Kurt huffed, but Rachel gasped and demanded to know all the details and suddenly everything was normal again. Blaine had known exactly what to say, just as he always did. He wasn’t connected to Rachel, but it didn’t matter because he already loved her, because he was Blaine, and that was what he did. He gave his heart out to people, in his bright eyes which said all the things he never needed to; his constant touch of a hand to a friend’s shoulder or the small of their back; his willingness to start a conversation or stop to show a stranger their way. He was like some missing evolutionary step between Homo sapiens and Homo fariens.

Kurt put his hand on Rachel’s stomach, fingers splayed and pointing up, waiting. Blaine’s slipped between his and their hands curled over each other. Rachel brought both of hers to rest atop theirs, anchoring them all together.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” she murmured. “Friends aren’t something I have.”

“You’re doing great.” Blaine nudged his nose against her hair. “Just be yourself.”

“Is that really how it works?”

“Yes,” Kurt said. “We may hate each other sometimes and try to outdo each other and get jealous and all number of stupid things, but in the end – in the end, it’s your job to just be you and our job to love you.”

“You make it sound so simple.”

“And why can’t it be?”

“Because life isn’t like that. There’s so much going wrong all the time.”

“But that’s exactly it,” Blaine said. “Life throws you a curve ball and we’ll be there to help you catch it.”

“But, Blaine you’re not... You’re... Why do you even care?”

Blaine hummed and curled closer to her, hooking his foot over Kurt’s ankle and the bottom of the bed. “I’m not a faerie, but I still have feelings.”

“He’s overly compassionate,” Kurt murmured to Rachel, knowing Blaine could still hear him. “He’s going to end up getting kidnapped by some guy who tells him he likes his shoes one day, I swear.”

---

They stayed like that for weeks, keeping conversation light and making Rachel laugh. Kurt picked her up after school a couple of days a week, spending time doing silly things like brushing her hair while they waited for Blaine. It was easy, mostly.

Rachel panicked sometimes. Finn would come home while she was there and she’d go rigid. Kurt would stroke her hair and assure her he wasn’t coming anywhere near them. One time Burt left the garage early and was knocking on Kurt’s door to say hi before they had time to stop him. It didn’t seem to be the idea of connecting with them that had Rachel gripping Kurt’s bedspread with bloodless fingers; it was like they reminded her of what she was doing there. She didn’t understand the attachment forming between the three of them and it scared her.

Rachel wasn’t the only problem. Kurt had been used to having very few people in his life, but now that Rachel was there he was becoming neglectful. He received more than one hurt phone call from Mercedes and he suspected she was starting to get jealous. Finn was confused by the sudden change in dynamic and didn’t seem to know what to do any more – whether to talk to or even just acknowledge Rachel at school, whether to attempt interaction when she was in their house, whether he was allowed to bring warm milk to Kurt – because suddenly there wasn’t enough time and that had stopped and Finn really missed having a brother to talk to.

And then there was Blaine. He was so good about the Rachel thing. He knew what to say when Kurt didn’t and he was trying so hard, seeing her as much as he could and talking to her on the phone and picking her up from school when Kurt didn’t. Kurt was pretty sure Blaine had taken Rachel to his house, something he had never been able to do with Kurt because of his lack of experience with interacting with strangers and “they really wouldn’t be comfortable with you being my boyfriend and I hate that, but I’m not risking anything with you.” Kurt knew what Blaine was doing; he could see how desperately he wanted to love Rachel as much as she did him and it was an admirable effort. It was actually painfully sweet, but the effect was Kurt not getting to be alone with his boyfriend for longer than a minute for almost three weeks.

He couldn’t say anything, though. Blaine had a tendency to feel intensely guilty for things that weren’t really his fault, and Kurt was not about to inflict that on him. Spending time with Rachel was… well, it was trying sometimes, but mostly he couldn’t help the feeling that he was the luckiest faerie alive to have found her again.

---

“And this is my room,” Rachel said, throwing the door open with a flourish.

“Oh,” Kurt replied, standing in the doorway.

“What do you think?” She tugged on his hands and he stumbled inside, staring around.

“It’s very… very, very pink.”

“That’s the theme, Kurt,” she teased, rolling her eyes and pulling him down to lie across her bed with her.

He looked up at the (baby pink) ceiling. “I’ve never been in another person’s house before.”

Rachel rolled onto her side, watching him closely. “Never?”

Kurt just sighed.

“Well, you know I’ve never made any real friends before now, so I guess I understand.”

“Why do you do it, Rachel?”

She reached out and tangled their fingers together. “Do what?”

Kurt tilted his head, catching her eye. “I know we don’t talk about serious things. We just don’t. But look, Blaine isn’t here. I understand that you don’t want to scare him off from loving you, but this is me. I couldn’t stop loving you if I wanted to.” He rolled towards her so their hands were between their chests. “And you have to believe that I’d want to love you, even if I didn’t… if we weren’t…”

“Okay. I know.” She flopped onto her back, taking their hands with her to rest on her stomach. “I would want to love you, too. I need you now.” She smiled, shaking her head gently. “Ask me again.”

Kurt curled towards her, resting his head on her shoulder. “Why do you do it? Why do you touch people you don’t know when it just breaks your heart?”

“Because it feels good. You remember what it was like when you touched Blaine, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, it’s that, but over and over again. That euphoric, buzzing feeling. And then you get the ache. You’ve lost that person forever, you’re suddenly grieving and the pain is all that matters. So you do it again. It’s… amazing.”

Kurt stayed still for a moment, stroking his fingernails across her palm. “I can’t understand why you’d enjoy that.”

“You wouldn’t unless you’ve done it. Ever tried to explain connecting to someone? There aren’t the right words.”

“You could try singing about it,” Kurt teased, squeezing her fingers.

“That’s not a bad idea, actually.”

He felt her muscles tense, about to stand up and start looking for exactly the right song, but he wrapped his arm across her stomach. “Rachel, stop, I was joking.”

“But—”

“Shh, stay here. I was talking to you.”

She huffed, but relaxed. “What else do you want to know, since you’re being curious today?”

“I’m glad you’re telling me anything.”

“Of course I am.” She kissed his forehead. “I trust you.”

Kurt couldn’t help grinning. He hugged her closer. “I trust you, too, as terrible an idea as that is. But,” he said over her indignant protest, “I was asking you things. When did you start?”

“Start what?”

“You know what, don’t try to be cute.”

“Last year. I’d lived through a year of high school without touching anyone – and I’ve still kept that perfect record. I’m very talented at avoiding physical contact. There was a rumour that I had a highly contagious skin disease for a while and that was why I never went near anyone, but. I was tired of having to be around that many people without connections.”

“You were lonely.” Kurt felt her shift. “It’s alright to be lonely, Rachel. It’s not a weakness.”

She pulled away from him and Kurt let her go. He sat up and watched her stand, wrapping her arms around herself and starting to pace slowly.

“Rachel, I’m sorry.”

She shook her head frantically, not looking at him. “No, no, it’s me. It’s all me. I’m sorry, it was just…”

“I pushed too hard.”

“No!” She gripped the back of her vanity chair, staring into her own reflected eyes.

“Rachel—”

“You can’t understand it, Kurt!” She span towards him. “You live your sheltered little life, barely touching anyone and you just can’t get it! It’s not something I can just give up and it’s the best feeling I’ve had in my life for such a long time. Do you know how many people I’ve touched this week? Three. And it’s Thursday. And you know what? I love every. Single. One of those three moments. To me that is what living is and you just can’t get that!” She was breathing heavily, blinking furiously at the tears creeping up on her. She saw Kurt’s fingers clenching around the bedspread and whimpered. “Kurt, I’m so sorry. That… I didn’t mean that, I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. You’re right.”

“Kurt…”

He shook his head, standing up and walking to the door without looking at her. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Or whenever. Whenever you’re not doing something with Blaine.”

“Kurt—”

He pulled the door shut and rushed out of her house. He stood on the sidewalk, breathing hard, realising that Rachel had driven him here. He called Mercedes, barely managing to keep his voice steady, and then sat on the edge of the road, head in his hands.

Of course Rachel was right. He didn’t know about life; he wasn’t worldly no matter how many books he read or movies he watched or languages he learned. He hated giving in to irrational thoughts, but he couldn’t stop himself from wondering if one day Blaine would see how clueless Kurt was and just leave him. He didn’t doubt that Blaine loved him; he was more sure of that than almost anything. There was just never the guarantee that Blaine would keep loving him, the way Kurt knew he himself would.

“Get in.”

He looked up, seeing Mercedes push the passenger door open for him. He climbed inside, hugging her tightly and not letting go of her hand when they pulled apart.

“What did that girl do to you?”

“Nothing. She just made me see things in a new light, I guess.”

“Kurt—”

“Look, can we just drive? Take me somewhere. Take me to your house or something.”

She put the car into drive, still holding his hand. “Kurt… you’ve never been to my house before.”

“There’s a first time for everything.”

“My parents are home—”

“And I’d love to meet them again. Please, ‘Cedes, just do this for me.”

She glanced over at him with a deep frown between her eyebrows. “I demand an explanation before you leave.”

“Keep your eyes on the road. I don’t want to die before I get to meet your little brother.”

“You’re really freaking me out right now.”

He sighed, closing his eyes. “I’m fine, Mercedes. Just let me a live a little. That’s all I want.”