June 3, 2012, 4 p.m.
A Touch of the Fingertips: Landslide
E - Words: 3,179 - Last Updated: Jun 03, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 33/33 - Created: Oct 18, 2011 - Updated: Jun 03, 2012 1,798 0 0 0 0
“Of course not.”
“I’m going to make her talk to me. She thinks she doesn’t want it, but I know what it’s like. I know what it feels like when you meet someone you’re connected to. She will want to see me. She will. Won’t she?”
“She will. She’s—”
“And I’m not going to let her keep running away from me. She’s going to have to face up to the consequences of touching random people.”
“I wouldn’t expect any le—”
“I don’t care who she is: she does not get to do that to a person and…”
Blaine pressed his lips together and raised his eyebrows, watching Kurt pace his room from his spot on the bed. He continued to rant about Rachel, as he had been doing since he returned from the coffee shop. Blaine loved how Kurt was going after what he wanted this time, but there was another part of his brain that was focusing on how cute a pent-up Kurt could be. He reached out and took Kurt’s hand, interrupting his spiel. He kissed it and blinked up at him, grinning.
“I’ve been talking too much, haven’t I?”
Blaine smiled and shook his head. “No, not at all. It’s great.” He grazed his bottom teeth over the pad of Kurt’s thumb and sucked it into his mouth, watching Kurt’s eyes widen.
“You do… agree with what I’m saying, right? I should…” He closed his eyes and Blaine rolled his tongue around his thumb. “I should confront her.”
Blaine let Kurt’s thumb slip from his mouth and nodded. “Yes, of course. I’m sorry; I’m not doing this right, am I?” He frowned. “I should be talking to you about this.”
Kurt shook his head rapidly. “No. No, this is fine.” He stroked his thumb across Blaine’s bottom lip and started to smile. “It’s not exactly something to complain about.” He leaned down and kissed him, the slick skin of his thumb sliding across Blaine’s cheek. The sound of the front door slamming came from the floor below and Burt’s voice called out. Kurt pulled back and sighed, resting his forehead against Blaine’s for a moment. Then he stood up and walked to the door, opening it and calling a greeting to his father.
Blaine ran his fingers through his hair and squeezed his eyes shut, then forced himself to stand up. He took Kurt’s hand and let himself be led downstairs to talk to Burt.
“So you’re telling me this girl is like you?”
Kurt nodded. “Blaine figured it out. It explains a lot of things.”
“But not why she touched us in New York,” Blaine murmured. Kurt shot him a look.
They were sitting across the table from Kurt’s father, watching him warily as he lifted his baseball cap and ran a hand over his head, frowning. Blaine wasn’t sure how they’d got here. Kurt had just started the conversation without any warning and Blaine had been carefully gauging Burt’s reaction ever since, only interjecting now and again.
“Why are you telling me this now, Kurt?”
Kurt rearranged the ends of his long cardigan over his thighs. He raised his eyebrows as he did so and Blaine could tell he didn’t really know how to answer, or didn’t want to. “I just thought it was time, considering what happened this afternoon.”
“But you could have told me before, kiddo, when you came back from New York. Or any time since then. I guessed something had happened, but I wasn’t going to ask you. Why wait so long?”
Kurt reached out under the table and wrapped his fingers tight around Blaine’s hand. The contact was a bit of a shock, but Blaine quickly gripped back. “Before now,” Kurt said, “I thought it was hopeless. I didn’t think I’d ever see her again and I was trying to come to terms with letting my heart get over her. I didn’t want to burden you with something like that, Dad. Nothing was going to happen, so I thought I’d just... move on.”
Blaine put both his hands around Kurt’s, watching him too closely to register Burt’s frown.
“It’s never a burden to me. Don’t ever think that.”
Kurt shrugged and looked up at Blaine.
“He’s right,” Blaine said. “You did that to me, too, and it only made me worry more. You know that.”
Kurt squeezed Blaine’s hand and gave him a small smile, then turned to his dad. “I’m sorry, I should have told you before. I want you to know now. Rachel’s really important to me. I know that’s just because of the connection, but I can’t let her go.”
Burt reached over and put a hand on his son’s shoulder. “I know. I wouldn’t expect any less from you. Tell me if anything happens with her, okay?”
“Okay, Dad.”
Burt nodded and stood up, nodding to Blaine and patting Kurt’s shoulder once before he left the room. Kurt tilted his head onto Blaine’s shoulder, breathing in his boyfriends comforting scent as Blaine rubbed circles across his hand with both thumbs. He pressed a kiss to Kurt’s forehead.
“You should go. Your parents will get suspicious.”
Blaine rested his head on Kurt’s with a sigh. “I wish this didn’t have to happen. I’d love to just tell them about you and bring you ‘round for dinner and tell them I’m going on a date rather than lie to them.”
Kurt pulled his head out from under Blaine’s and turned his face away. “I’m sorry. I guess that’s what you get for dating a faerie.”
“No, Kurt, not like that. It’s not because you’re a faerie. I mean, that causes issues, but it’s more that you’re male. You’re not a girl. That’s... that’s the problem. For my parents, at least.” He looked at his lap where his hands were still holding Kurt’s, feeling the blush spread high on his cheeks.
“They really feel that way?”
Blaine shrugged. “You’re right: I should go.” He stood up. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
Kurt stood with a resigned expression and pulled Blaine to him, winding his arm around his back. “Okay.” He kissed him.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there with Rachel today,” Blaine said when they broke apart.
“It’s okay, you can’t get away from school that quickly.” Kurt shrugged and aimed for as normal a smile as possible. He was still thinking about Blaine’s parents.
“Still, I wanted to be with you.”
Kurt shook his head, smiling indulgently at his boyfriend. He leaned in and pressed their lips together again. He felt Blaine grin against his mouth, then Blaine tilted his head and parted his lips, the tip of his tongue dragging around the edges of Kurt’s mouth. Kurt pushed him away with a breathless laugh.
“Stop it, or I’ll never let you leave.”
“That was the aim,” Blaine quipped with a grin.
Kurt just rolled his eyes and stepped away, pushing him towards the door of the kitchen. Blaine didn’t let him and stepped back into his personal space.
“Don't let this stress you, okay? You can't lose sleep over this."
“Blaine—”
“Ssh.” Blaine stepped closer and kissed him, taking advantage of Kurt’s closed eyes when he pulled away to press his lips to each eyelid. “I can’t stand seeing that happen to you again.”
“If I could just get my brain to shut down, it would be fine,” Kurt said, sitting heavily in the chair again, holding Blaine’s hands. He closed his eyes, letting his head drop forwards. “I can’t seem to stop thinking.”
“Hey.” Blaine sat in the chair next to him, kissing the top of his head. Kurt looked up, seeing Blaine’s eyes staring at him, so close. He leaned forwards a little and kissed him. “You need to relax,” Blaine said when he pulled back, head still leaning against Kurt’s. “Rachel is stressful, I know, but you can’t let her take over your life like this.”
“It’s not just—”
“I know.” Blaine tugged Kurt’s knuckles to his lips. “Believe me, I know. I’m in exactly the same place as you. It’s the bill, it’s Quinn, it’s my parents – for me, at least. All of it. And then Rachel, too. I’m not connected to her, not the way you are, but she is to me. I don’t even know how to start dealing with that. You were already my best friend. With her, she feels for me to a depth it will take me ages to match.” He looked away, not seeing Kurt’s wide eyes on him. “What if she’s in love with me? I… I’d have to break her heart.”
Kurt gripped Blaine’s face in his hands, bright eyes blinking rapidly. He shook his head and kissed him. “I love you. I just can’t believe I have you sometimes. God, Blaine.” His voice cracked on the name. “You feel everything. You have so much empathy and I don’t know…” He breathed in and out, steadying himself. “I don’t understand how you’re as perfect as you are.”
“Kurt—”
He was cut off by Kurt’s lips. Blaine felt his hand tugging on the front of his shirt, dragging him forwards. Kurt leaned back in the chair, still pulling Blaine towards him so he was tugged out of his seat to straddle Kurt’s lap. They’d been here before, sort of, Blaine thought, and all the doubts he had about that situation rose to the surface again. He pulled back just as Kurt moaned against his mouth, hips shifting under his.
“This isn’t the right place.” Blaine’s voice was slightly hoarse and his head was spinning a little. “I – your dad—”
Kurt let his head drop back and he sighed. “You’re right.” He gasped when Blaine started kissing his neck, unable to stop himself. Kurt ran a hand up his back. “You need to leave.”
Blaine nipped his jaw once and climbed off him. Kurt looked up at him, eyes wide and dark, and stroked his hands up and down the outside of his thighs. His lips were red from kissing and Blaine just wanted to capture them again and carry on, but he straightened up, grabbing Kurt’s hands and stepping out from between his knees. “Tomorrow?"
Kurt smiled and kissed Blaine’s hand. “Tomorrow.”
Their plans for tomorrow never happened. Kurt had the sudden realisation that he didn’t have to wait around for things to happen with Rachel, he could make them happen. He went with his dad to the garage that day – something he hadn't done in years – and worked in the office. Everything was exactly the same, except the men being a little older, the walls a little darker and the office a lot messier. Kurt settled into the familiar sounds of car engines and the men’s radio station and the smell of motor oil. He kept the blinds shut and the door locked like he always used to when he was a child. He wasn’t supposed to exist, after all.
His dad brought him a sandwich at lunchtime and they sat together while they ate, Kurt repressing the urge to tell his dad to take his feet off the desk.
“How’s it feel, kiddo?”
“Strange,” Kurt said with a smile. He glanced around. The same posters were still on the walls. “It’s like it’s stuck in time.”
“You should come here more often. It can’t be fun being home alone all the time.”
Kurt just shrugged and took another bite of his sandwich.
He’d had a reason for the slip into his childhood routine. He borrowed Burt's car and drove to McKinley in time for the end of school. He had texted Finn and Mercedes, who had been filled in on everything that had happened with Rachel, and asked them to watch out for the faerie. He didn't park, but waited outside the school for the last bell to ring. He saw countless students swarm through the doors, but he knew she wouldn't be in the crowds. Sure enough, when the stragglers were the only ones sloping out, she appeared, coat as eye-watering as ever. Kurt quickly parked in one of the now-empty parking spaces and jumped out of the car. Rachel spotted him almost immediately and stopped. Kurt saw her huff and thought she might have rolled her eyes. He jogged towards her, thankful she wasn’t running this time.
“While it’s flattering that you want to stalk me,” Rachel said when he reached her, “and it is preparing me for my later life of fame when my fans will be unable to resist following me home, I have to ask you to stop. It’s not practical for me right now.”
Kurt felt a smile working across his lips unexpectedly. He couldn’t tell whether Rachel was being serious or not, but the sight of the diminutive girl staring indignantly up at him was highly amusing. He shook his head at her. “You’re insane. But I’m not stalking you and you know it. Come on, Rachel, you don’t have to pretend with me.” He reached out and took her hand in his. She looked down, a frown between her eyebrows.
“I’ve never done this before.” Her voice had dropped significantly in volume and Kurt leaned a little closer to hear her. “People don’t get close to me, Kurt. It doesn’t happen.” She pulled her hand back, flicking her hair and letting out a huff. “It’s strange how familiar you feel to me when I don’t even know your last name.”
“Hummel.”
“Like the mechanic?” she asked, eyes fixing on his suddenly. Her gaze was oddly intense, but Kurt had a feeling she was always like that.
“It’s my dad’s shop.”
“But I thought… The mechanic’s son died when he was a baby.”
Kurt shrugged and gave a wry smile. “Cover stories: a necessary part of faerie life. What’s yours?”
Rachel crossed her arms and looked away from him. “I don’t have one.”
“That can’t be true – everyone does.”
“And how many faeries do you know?”
Kurt raised his eyebrows at her abruptly vicious tone. “None except you, but it’s inevitable that you’ve had to lie about your life at some point. There’s no other way to survive, especially considering you go to school.” He looked up at the building behind her, wondering how she managed to go there every day and not fall in love with people. He tried to imagine what his life would have been like if he walked through these doors five days a week. Would he have been in Glee Club? He doubted he’d have been one of the popular kids, considering his sexuality and fashion sense. Would he have been labelled as ‘that gay kid’, ‘that fairy’? Would he have found a boyfriend? Would… would he have found Blaine?
“I’m the loner girl,” Rachel said, snapping Kurt’s attention away from the dizzying possibilities to her small form, arms curled around herself protectively, eyes watching him with trepidation. “Nobody talks to me and I don’t talk to anybody. I avoid everyone. It stops accidents from happening.” Her eyes flicked between him and the school. “You’re wondering, aren’t you? What it would be like.”
“It’s strange to think about. I shouldn’t, though; it doesn’t change anything.” He shrugged and turned away from the building, offering his arm to Rachel the way he did to Mercedes sometimes. She looked at it and Kurt thought momentarily that she was going to hyperventilate. Then she slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow and gave him a shy smile. Kurt grinned back at her and wondered if she was feeling the same thing he was: that amazing, puzzle-piece-slotting-into-place sensation of reciprocated connections. “Will you come home with me?” Kurt asked. It had slipped out and he bit his lip. He didn’t want to scare her off.
Rachel pressed her fingers into his arm. She didn’t say anything for a few moments, but allowed Kurt to keep leading her towards his dad’s car while her eyes darted everywhere but at him. “I know it’s the connection making me trust you, but…” She looked up at him. “Yes.”
Kurt grinned, trying not to show the sting of the trust comment, and opened the passenger door for her.
“My dad and Carole won’t be home from work for a couple of hours and Finn’s still in Glee Club.” He placed a mug on the coffee table in front of Rachel and took a seat next to her on the couch, another mug between his hands. He glanced at the clock. “But Blaine will be here soon. Is that okay?”
Rachel took a sip of her drink and frowned at him. “Who’s Blaine?”
“My boyfriend.”
“The one I connected to in New York?” She lowered her mug and looked at him with a panicked expression.
“Yes, but don’t worry, please.” He laid a hand on her arm, trying to soothe her, but the unexpected contact from someone who wasn’t her dads made her jump and almost spill coffee on herself. Kurt steadied the mug, then took it from her and returned it to the table. “I know it’s a lot, but—”
“You could have told me before, Kurt!”
“I’m sorry—”
“This isn’t just easy for me. I don’t see people I connect to. It doesn’t happen. I don’t have friends or boyfriends and you can’t just spring two connections on me at once and expect me to be calm about it!”
Kurt shook his head, feeling guilt flush his cheeks and brighten his eyes.
“Do you know how many people I’ve touched, Kurt? Hundreds. There are probably people all over the world who have a piece of my heart and apart from my dads I don’t know any of them.”
“Dads?” Kurt asked dazedly, picking out the least confusing part of that speech.
“I have two gay dads. They mixed their sperm together and used a turkey baster to make me with my surrogate mother, so I don’t know which one is my real dad to this day.”
Kurt tilted his head and frowned at her. “That’s…”
“Pretty amazing, I know.” Talking about her dads seemed to be calming her down, but she still wasn’t looking at him.
“And… these people you’ve connected to,” Kurt said, treading more carefully now, “why are there so many of them?”
Rachel shifted beside him. She smoothed out her skirt and pushed her hair behind her ears. “I have a bad habit of touching people I don’t know.”
“Doesn’t that break your heart?”
Her jaw tightened, but the doorbell rang, saving her from replying. Kurt stared at her for a second longer, trying to figure her out. He went to let Blaine in, thoughts still tied up in the girl in his living room.
He pulled the door open and Blaine immediately fell on him, kissing him frantically. “I’ve been dying to see you all day,” Blaine gasped, pressing feverish kisses to Kurt’s jaw, his lips, his neck, and Kurt felt his stomach drop. He hadn’t told Blaine.
Kurt pushed Blaine away, hands on his chest, his expression worried. “Blaine.”
Blaine grinned, trying to kiss him again. When Kurt didn’t let him, he looked closely at him and frowned. “What’s wrong?”
Kurt glanced back to the living room and Blaine’s eyes followed his, unable to see anything around the door. “There’s someone in the living room.”
“Who?”
“I should have told you before, I’m sorry.”
Blaine put his hands on Kurt’s wrists, stroking lightly. “Kurt, you’re scaring me.”
Kurt heard the door creak behind him. He didn’t move, watching Blaine’s eyes widen and his mouth fall open. “Blaine,” Kurt said, voice high and wavering, “you remember Rachel Berry.”