“What do you mean?” Kurt whispered, trying not to gasp at the sensation of Blaine kissing his wrist. Blaine seemed to notice the intake of breath anyway and kissed Kurt’s palm, letting the tip of his tongue run across one palm line. He pressed his lips firmly to it once more, then crawled back to lie down next to Kurt again. He brushed the other boy’s hair behind his ear, his eyes open and filled with love in the way they only were for Kurt.

Blaine glanced around the room before he spoke, seeming to work up the courage to say what he had been thinking about since Valentine’s Day. He took in the soft, minimalist tones of the walls and curtains, the pristinely arranged shelves and desks. The door to the closet where Blaine knew Kurt stowed his materials and the way the lights were placed to provide perfect ambience. Kurt was so entrenched in every facet of this room, making it impossible for Blaine to feel anything but safe, wrapped up in the boy he loved in such a way. Along with the kitchen, this was one of the rooms which held so many defining moments of their relationship. He returned his eyes to Kurt, who was stretched out on the bed beside him. His eyes always stood out against the colours of his walls and bedspread, which Blaine knew Kurt had chosen partially for that reason. The palette always, always, had to match the owner. “How did you know you were in love with me? What did it…feel like?”

Kurt saw the flicker of nervousness that passed across Blaine’s eyes as he asked, so he kissed him quickly. “I’ve described the connection feeling to you before.” His eyes flicked to the ceiling briefly as he considered how to word it. The sensation was so very complex and unlike anything else he’d ever experienced. There weren’t commonplace phrases to describe it. “Every part of you feels warm, charged with this beautiful energy,” he said, looking at Blaine once more. “With you, it was so much more vibrant and…almost tangible, although that may be because I’m older. I’m not sure. Maybe it’s different when you fall in love?” He smiled and bumped his nose against Blaine’s. “But our connection was so strong. I felt it under my skin for hours, buzzing and making me feel whole. There’s only one thing that has ever felt better than that. But how I knew that I—”

“Wait,” Blaine said, squeezing Kurt’s hand in his own. “What’s the thing that felt better?”

“I…” Kurt looked away from the other boy, blushing.

“Kurt?” Blaine started to grin, liking what this reaction meant.

“I feel ridiculous saying it.”

“You shouldn’t. I love you, so I’m not going to…I don’t know. Judge you. Do whatever it is you’re worried I’ll do.”

Kurt’s eyes locked on his then, blazing. “That’s it.”

“What?”

“That . When you said you loved me – when you say you love me. That feeling. That’s better.”

Blaine stared at him, at the brightness in his eyes, both loving and a little defiant, daring Blaine to laugh at him. Kurt was obviously serious, but Blaine hadn’t been expecting that. He had thought it would be something to do with his father, or Finn accepting him fully, or maybe even meeting Blaine, but not that. The knowledge that he was responsible for not just the second-best, but also the best feeling in Kurt’s life…the thought set off an expansion of emotion in Blaine’s chest. He loved this boy far more than even he understood and knowing that Kurt loved him back just as much if not more was glorious. He couldn’t reply; he could only kiss him. It wasn’t desperate, but it wasn’t slow. It was passionate as each boy tried to put every shred of love he had into the points where their lips met, pressing close to each other in an attempt to give more.

Blaine leaned up slightly on one elbow, angling his face above Kurt’s. He licked across the other boy’s bottom lip, then bit it lightly. Kurt let out a moan, winding his fingers into the hair at the back of Blaine’s head, holding him close to him. He licked, back, tracing the tip of his tongue across each of Blaine’s lips, so slowly that it was torturous for the shorter boy. Blaine opened his mouth, unable to handle it any more, and Kurt’s tongue dipped inside. Both of them let out a moan which was lost in each other’s mouths as their tongues touched, pressing their chests closer together. It became like a dance, Kurt’s tongue stroking along Blaine’s, licking at his mouth, behind his teeth, tracing over the ridges on his hard palate. Kurt became somewhat enthralled by these, having only ever felt them in his own mouth. There was something about the texture that made his skin tingle. He flicked the tip of his tongue back and forth over them until Blaine was whimpering, gripping Kurt’s hip and rocking towards him gently.

When they at last broke apart, they were breathless. Kurt tipped his head away from Blaine in search of more air, his chest rising and falling rapidly against the other boy’s. Blood rushed in Blaine’s ears as his senses began to recognise the world around him once more, realising there were more things than Kurt in the room. He could feel the bed sheets against his arms where before there was only Kurt pressed against him. He could hear the steady thrum of the central heating, previously inaudible over every tiny breath Kurt took; every noise he made in the back of his throat. Blaine couldn’t open his eyes yet, preferring to keep the image of Kurt burned on the inside of his eyelids. His other senses were still wrapped up in the boy beside him: the only thing he could smell was Kurt, the scent surrounding him in a way that made him never want to let it go; he could taste Kurt in his mouth and he thought he would be content with only that for the rest of his life.

Then Kurt spoke, and all of Blaine’s senses tunnelled to a pinpoint. “It wasn’t…” He took a deep breath, still lightheaded. “There wasn’t a specific thought that told me I loved you. It was more of a…feeling. I just intrinsically knew, without being able to explain why. At the time, it was this sudden wave of emotion that I had never been prepared to deal with. That’s why I told you I loved you, even though I knew you wouldn’t know what I meant.”

Blaine opened his eyes, turning his head on the pillow to look at Kurt. They were close, so close that Blaine could feel Kurt’s breath on his lips, but not close enough that the other boy’s features became blurred. “Don’t think about that any more. We can’t spend the rest of our lives wishing we’d spoken sooner. It was a few months when we were stupid, but we have years to make up for them.”

Kurt nodded. The movement looked strange from Blaine’s angle, Kurt’s forehead tipping towards his eyes and then back. He smiled at how it had moved Kurt that much closer to him so that he had to close his eyes because he couldn’t see the other boy properly any more. Kurt took the opportunity to press his lips to Blaine’s, only for a second, before curving his spine, tucking his head under Blaine’s chin, nose pressed to the other boy’s neck and hand splayed across his chest.

“Love you,” he sighed against Blaine’s skin.

Blaine put an arm around Kurt’s back, right at the point where it began to arch inwards, although the curve was less pronounced in Kurt’s back than other people’s because of his impeccable posture. He grasped the thick fabric of Kurt’s sweater in his fist, holding the boy against his chest. “Love you, too.”

They stayed in silence for an indeterminable length of time; Kurt tracing nonsensical patterns on Blaine’s chest, just like he’d always read about; Blaine just enjoying holding Kurt close to him with both of them completely sure of their emotions. After a while, Kurt stopped moving and Blaine had a suspicion he had fallen asleep. Slightly to ascertain whether the other boy was slumbering, and slightly to satisfy the curious part of his mind that had been wondering ever since the thought first sprung up, he asked, “Do you believe in God, Kurt?”

The faerie tilted his head up on Blaine’s chest, eyes a little heavy. His boyfriend could see that, although he was awake, he had certainly been on the brink of sleep. “You’re really going for the big questions today,” he mumbled. He blinked languidly a couple of times before continuing. “No,” he said, a slight crease between his eyebrows. “Why believe in someone who would make me what I am, but make people do terrible things to me because of it? I don’t think any higher power could create something as evil as the way others treat people like me.”

“So, do you believe in fate? Or destiny?”

The edges of Kurt’s lips quirked up in a smile. “It’s hard to decide, being the way I am.” He sighed, breaking eye contact and picking up his fingertip-traced patterns on Blaine’s chest where he had left off. “You have to wonder if who you touch is predestined. For me, I have touched so few people that I can’t tell. What if I hadn’t shaken hands with Mercedes that day? What if you’d touched my hand in the grocery store and not when we both decided you should? Perhaps that was how it was supposed to happen and there is a list somewhere, naming all the people I will touch in my life. When put like that, it sounds as implausible to me as the idea of a God, but I don’t know because there is also the issue of how I connect with people. How did my body know to give me platonic feelings towards Mercedes and romantic ones towards you? Would it have given me the latter kind when I connected with a different girl as a child, even though I would eventually discover that I’m gay? Also, do you get romantic feelings as a child? I don’t really know any of it. A lack of experience leaves me ridiculously stilted and that makes answering this even harder.”

Blaine tucked a strand of hair behind Kurt’s ear, letting it slide through his fingers with something like reverence. He ran his fingers through Kurt’s hair, slightly honoured that the other boy didn’t growl at him for messing it up. “So you’re undecided?” Kurt made a noise of affirmation. “I think that knowing you has made me believe in fate more. It’s like I was meant to meet you in the grocery store. We were supposed to do things the way we did. Everything seemed to happen by chance with us. It makes me feel like we’re…I think this might sound clich�d.”

Kurt kissed Blaine’s chest through the fabric of his shirt. “That’s okay. I like your clich�d side. It’s romantic. I’ve…I’ve never had that before.”

Blaine picked up Kurt’s hand, kissing his knuckles. “Me neither. I was going to say that it’s like we’re tangled together. Our lives, I mean. Like we were bound to end up this way because of how we were already intertwined.”

Kurt propped his chin on Blaine’s chest, staring up at the other boy with a smirk on his face, but a soft smile in his eyes. “That’s edging on cheesy, but I still love it.” He watched Blaine for a moment longer, internally debating whether or not to carry on. “I was thinking about this yesterday, before you came over.” Blaine frowned instantly. “Stop it,” Kurt said, reading Blaine’s expression. “Stop feeling bad about that. We’re together now.”

“You’re still hurting, though,” Blaine said, stroking a knuckle along Kurt’s cheek. “From Rachel.”

Kurt opened his mouth, but, unable to find a reply, closed it again. Blaine being around made him forget about the tiny girl, but now that he had been reminded his heartbreak washed over him again. When Blaine saw Kurt trying to blink away the tears forming in his eyes, he slid down the bed, kissing the other boy swiftly.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry.”

Kurt just shook his head, fingers clutching at Blaine’s arm as he kissed him again. “It’s not your fault. Just make me forget about her. She’s not ruining today for us, okay?” He brushed back the curls that had fallen over Blaine’s forehead. “I love you. That’s all that matters.”