Kurt looked over at David Karofsky, his former bully, lying on the hospital bed. He looked so helpless and so broken. It was like a punch in the gut. Kurt knew Dave was sorry for what he did. No, it doesn’t take the pain away from those many months of torment, but in a way Dave is what led him to Blaine. So, Kurt accepted Dave’s apology once more, just like he did around prom time last year. Kurt had forgiven him when he had seen the scared little boy inside Dave that was begging to be accepted. All he really wanted was to be himself. Kurt knew firsthand how hard that was. He’d meant it when he told David that he liked him. They really could try this whole friendship thing out. Kurt really thought it could be beneficial to the both of them. But then-

“Kurt, I know we keep talking about friendship and—God I want that. I want it so badly.” Dave looked down at their clasped hands and Kurt felt his stomach clench, “I want you though Kurt. I want all of you. I mean… not in a creepy way… god this probably sounds really creepy.” Dave brought his free hand to his face and ran his fingers messily through his hair. “I just… what I mean is… I want to be with you. You’re the only person I’ve ever had feelings for ever. I mean besides that Berry chick in like the 5th grade and then Ellen Degeneres but that wasn’t real. You and me…” he motioned between them and looked at their hands. He squeezed at Kurt’s hand in his, “we could be real. We could be so special.”

Kurt’s eyes got watery as the hopeful look from Valentine’s Day reappeared on Dave’s face. How can you reject someone that just attempted suicide?! Okay so this was hard. But Kurt couldn’t let Dave think that he had a chance when Kurt’s heart hadn’t been his own to give away for almost year now.

“David…” Kurt gave him a sad watery smile and a frown started to form on Dave’s face. He retracted his hand in an attempt to close Kurt out. “I’m so sorry. I hate doing this to you, I really do. I want to get the chance to know the real David Karofsky. Not the bully, not the one hiding behind this straight, hard exterior, just you. But you’re going to have to know right up front. I’m in love with Blaine. I’m not sorry that my heart belongs to him and quite frankly I wouldn’t see us working out even if Blaine didn’t exist.” Kurt hadn’t actually meant to say that last part. It was more of a silent pondering. Well, it was supposed to be silent. But by the wounded look on his estranged bully’s face it was anything but.

“No that’s not…” Kurt tried to back track but it was hopeless. “Okay it is what I meant but come on, we have nothing in common. You only want me because you think I’m strong. In a sense, I’m what you want to be. I mean, not in a condescending way or anything… God now I can’t talk.” Kurt chuckled softly and Dave smiled in return.

“I understand.” Dave spoke quietly but looked Kurt dead in the eyes. “But from what I can see that’s how you and that afro-midget hooked up. I practically pushed you into his arms. He saved you. I mean, it’s the same for you and me, so I don’t get it.” Dave looked frustrated and a little angry. Kurt could tell he was trying hard to push that anger away. Dave was trying so hard for Kurt and it was really breaking his heart. Why is this so hard?

“You’re right.” Kurt conceded and leaned back in the chair. “I originally had a crush on Blaine because he seemed perfect. He seemed like a protector, my hero.” Kurt swooned a little at his words, getting lost in his memories, “But that’s not how it stayed. When I went to Dalton, Blaine and my own’s friendship soared. We have so much in common. We love musicals, theater, fashion, we have big dreams and a past that haunts us sometimes. We put on shields to hide our real emotions. Blaine is my best friend. He’s my everything. There’s so much more to him than that ‘hero’ he started out as. We saved each other…” Kurt looked down at his hands intertwined in his lap, suddenly overwhelmed with the need for Blaine. He needed Blaine to just hold him for a while. This was too much and it hurt. You can do this Kurt. I’m here for you always, you know that. But you’re the strongest person I know and you can do this. Blaine’s words rang in his ears.

Dave’s awkward throat clearing was the only thing to raise him from his thoughts. “But, Kurt you don’t understand… I could…. I could be all of those things… for you. I could be anything for you just please Kurt. Please. Just give me a chance.” The looks on David’s face made Kurt’s heart shatter for what felt like the millionth time that day. It was pleading and the hopes in Dave’s eyes were gone.

“Dave I…” Kurt put his face in his hands and let out steading breaths, “fashion and singing doesn’t interest you, football doesn’t interest me… I don’t even know anything else about you! I don’t know you and you don’t know me David!” Kurt was now shouting. He was more frustrated with himself than anything else. This was all his fault and he was about to have a nervous breakdown right there, in front of the boy that he was supposed to be staying strong for. He took a deep breath and continued trying to ignore the shocked look on Dave’s face. “Listen, you’ve been hiding and trying to change who you are for people all your life it seems. So, why would it be okay for me to ask you to do the same thing for me? You deserve your soulmate David. That’s not me, I’m sorry. We’re not…”

“Okay okay…” David didn’t sound entirely defeated but just tired. “Can we just stop talking about this for now? It’s too much and I just got you back in my life ready and willing to be my friend and I don’t really want to lose it over something stupid.” David gave Kurt a small smile and Kurt returned it full force.

“Well, first of all your feelings are never stupid but I am more than okay with dropping the subject.” Kurt knew that letting the conversation go was going to be a bad idea. He knew that it was going to come back up in the future and he wasn’t going to like it but damn he had had a rough few days and Dave had had it even worse. Neither of them needed that right now. “And like I said before, being your friend and helping you as much as possible, that just sounds… really great.” Kurt gave Dave a genuine smile and reached out to grasp his hand once more. “And I mean hey, maybe Blaine and… Sebastian—“

“Oh hell no,” Dave cut him off, “your Mr. Rogers mini me and that bro-douche preppy can stay away from me.”

“Well I’ve got to say your insults have definitely gotten a lot better,” Kurt looked at him slightly impressed, “however, you’re going to need more of a support system than just me Dave. I mean, I hate to say it but my friends aren’t going to just be able to turn their backs on what you did to me. They don’t understand the way I do. Blaine will, and Sebastian… okay he’s a dapper asshole and I sort of hate his guts and his stupid crooked face and—I’m getting carried away. All I’m saying is I’m not sure about Sebastian. I hate him and I know he was a bitch to you, who isn’t he a bitch to, but when I talked to him last, he just… I don’t know. He looked… upset? I don’t know. I really don’t care being that he almost blinded my boyfriend but,” Kurt huffed. When it came to Sebastian he just couldn’t think straight. He hated the guy but there was definitely more to him than meets the eye. If he could just take a step back and get away from Blaine then maybe Kurt would care but for now he could not have sympathy for the prick. “Okay all I’m trying to say is just because I hate him doesn’t mean that you have to. “

When Kurt looked back up at David there was an amused smile on his face, “Wow this guy really gets to you. You’re usually a snarky bitch, no offense, but you just got all tied up and it was… it was cute.” David blushed and looked away. “I… what I mean is, it’s different. I’m not used to you with your guard down around me. It’s nice is all.”

Dave was making this friendship thing a little hard on Kurt. He felt weird about Dave calling him cute. Blaine was the only one that did that really. God, Blaine. He just wanted to talk to Blaine right now. No, David wasn’t trying to make him uncomfortable. He was just trying to be a real person. Everything was going to be fine. “Yeah… I really just can’t when it comes to him. I’m quick with my words when I’m talking to him but when I’m talking about him I just get jumbled.” Kurt let out a small laugh and he and Dave just looked at each other for a long moment.

Finally Kurt broke the silence, “Okay, I should really get going. This has been a long week for you. You should get some rest. You have my number if you need me?” Kurt felt that sharp pang of guilt hit him in the stomach, yeah, he has your number, remember all those times he called you practically begging for help and you didn’t answer one time? Yeah.

“Yeah, I have it. And…” David wouldn’t continue until Kurt was looking him right in the eyes, “it’s not your fault Kurt. I’m not the sharpest tool but I can tell that you feel guilty… it’s not—“

“Just stop, no. I don’t want to talk about this and just, call me if you need anything and we’re going to take this one—no, I mean… ‘baby steps’.” Kurt stood and smiled at Dave. He returned it and nodded. They both knew how hard this was going to be and how much they were going to have to work through to make everything okay. Kurt knew no matter what he was going to go through, Dave was going to go through it a thousand times worse. He didn’t know what was going to happen but hopefully with Blaine and maybe Sebastian they can make this work. What a strange turn of events this was. But like Dave said back at that bar a few short months ago… here’s to baby steps.

Kurt gave Dave a quick hug and one last reassuring smile before he left the hospital. As soon as he was outside he ran to his car and whipped out his phone. He wanted Blaine so much right now. Yeah, Kurt was strong and he could deal with things alone but the fact of the matter is, he doesn’t have to and he just doesn’t want to. Kurt was breaking and he needed Blaine be home with a carton of FroYo, two spoons and huge furry blanket. And Kurt needed to cry for a good 20 minutes. And Blaine would let him, ‘cause Blaine was Blaine.

Honey, I really need you right now. I just left the hospital and I just. Please. x –Kurt

Ofcourse. xoxo – Blaine