Aug. 20, 2013, 12:15 p.m.
eRomance: Chapter 53
M - Words: 6,039 - Last Updated: Aug 20, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 55/? - Created: Aug 12, 2013 - Updated: Aug 20, 2013 213 0 0 0 0
THURSDAY NIGHT, JANUARY 10
KURT
After I had hung up with Blaine that morning, any hopes I had of taking a nap were quickly squashed as my mind ran through every possible situation that Blaine had been alluding to. What could have happened this morning that seemed to cause this cataclysmic shift in my boyfriend? Last night things had ended well –definitelywell considering the amount of mess I had to clean off of Blaine's chest with the tissues at my bedside – but had something happened in Blaine's mind between last night and this morning?
On the one hand, Blaine did seem happy to talk to me when I had called, but there was some sort of niggling feeling in the back of my mind that wasn't sure if I was just trying to project everything being okay or if things really were fine. He at least said that he loved me, but what if he was just appeasing me until we could meet in person and he had to let me down in person?
This was so not good for my focus.
In the past week or so, my mind was practically consumed of thoughts of Blaine. Despite Wes trying to ruin our first morning after – and his constant attempts to pull information from me which, I'm not sure he would really want to know anyway – things had been going spectacularly well in my relationship. Blaine and I were closer than ever and Blaine and I just clicked in a way that I had never experienced and probably a way I would never experience ever again. He made me feel safe, loved, cherished – everything I could hope for.
And it certainly didn't hurt that our sex was spectacularly hot. Being in, on, and around Blaine like that seemed to be the final straw in our level of intimacy and everything just felt like it was intensified in a way I couldn't really describe.
It was as if things seemed clearer and I kept finding myself wondering, "where has he been this whole time?" If I had met him sooner, I could have saved myself so much pain and heartache and feelings of inadequacy since Blaine made me feel the opposite every time I ever glanced at his face.
But was it all for naught?
For me, sex was something incredibly special and I knew that wasn't really the case for a lot of gay guys. Many of my friends were more the "hit it and quit it" type and they would flit between partners more often than I would change clothes – which is quite often to say the least. I figured that the same was true for Blaine, but I wasn't really sure to be honest.
There was still a lot about Blaine that I didn't know, including his take on sex and what it meant to him. Sure, his favorite color was red and he loved Asian cuisine more than anything else, but what made him tick? Who was his high school crush? What did he want to be when he was a kid? When was his first kiss?
It was all of the little things that built up to me thinking that maybe I didn't know the big things either. How did he feel about kids? He mentioned his parents and spoke with them often, but what was his relationship like with them? Did his grandparents approve of him being gay?
It made me think that even though I knew Blaine, there was so much left to discover. And it was those big details that made me wonder if maybe I had second guessed Blaine all along. I felt – no, I knew – that he loved me, but how can you really, truly love someone and be in love with them if you don't really know them?
Do I really know Blaine?
The logical side of my mind screamed that we were moving too fast and that I need to get to know Blaine better before considering a future with him, before I should let myself be so exposed with him. But the feelings side of my brain said that even if I didn't know everything about Blaine, that I knew who he was deep down and despite my insecurities and the wavering tone of his voice on the phone, that he still loved me and he and I could spend a long time getting to know each other.
So far, we were certainly moving in the right direction. I had really put myself out there – something I hadn't done in years – and to me, that was half the battle knowing my stubbornness and proclivity to hide my feelings rather than feel stomped on. But now I was waiting for Blaine's half of the equation before I saw the answer to our chemistry and future together.
And I definitely wanted a future with Blaine; that much I could tell already. I knew that he could be it.Couldbeing the operative word.
We were still fairly new in our relationship and we needed to build more in order for me to allow myself to think in terms of a long-term partnership – mainly so I didn't seem crazy for potentially thinking up color palettes for our potential fall wedding in New York – but it could come as long as Blaine was on board.
God, I hope he's on board.
"Hey sparky, what's goin' on?" Lauren said as she threw her bag carelessly into the chair next to my worktable. "I heard you had a houseguest again last night."
"Lauren!" I cried. I hadn't seen my friend since Blaine and I had sex. Admittedly it had been a few days since it had happened, but for some reason Lauren and I hadn't crossed paths much at the theater with her schedule for work and balancing her life outside of here.
"So, it's true," she joked. "You and Blainers did the deed. Was it amazing? Did you top? Did he make your wildest dreams come true? Did you use toys?"
"Oh my GOD, we are so NOT having this conversation," I hurriedly replied and busied myself with some notions I had left on my table while sewing some Velcro onto a pair of quick change pants for one of the men in the chorus. I could feel the blush rising up my neck and I certainly did not want to divulge my sex life to Lauren – who would for sure to tell Wes.
Wait. Wes.
"Did Wes tell you this?"
"Obviously," she replied with a chortle. "Who knew that he was as good for gabbing with that mouth as he is when he licks my..."
"I'm gay for a reason, I don't really want to hear how he... 'slobbed on your knob' or whatever you call it."
"I slob on his knob," she retorted with a wink.
"Dear god, I was not expecting this today," I said to myself as Lauren whirled around in my chair by my desk. "I'm actually irritated that Wes told you. It's none of his business and it's certainly none of yours what me and my boyfriend are doing."
"I know what you're doing," she replied, voice laden with innuendo. "Honestly, Wes only confirmed my suspicions. I know we're like two ships passing in the night sometimes at this place, but that gobsmacked smile you've had on your face for the past few days tells me more than your current blushing situation and avoiding answering my questions."
"I still maintain that it's not any of your business. I don't ask what you and Wes are up to or anything. And besides, do you really want to know?"
"Yes, I want to know. I'm curious and two hot dudes like you guys getting it on probably would be hot." I winced at her reply. Blaine and I certainly were attractive – I'd lie if I tried to play humble here – but I didn't want her or Wes to know the intimate details because they were precisely that; intimate. We shared more than just lust for each other. I didn't want to tell her the way I felt like I wanted to cry during sex despite my normal bitchy exterior, I didn't want to tell her about the sweet words Blaine whispered in my ear after we were finished for the night or how holding his hand during orgasm sent tingles up my spine aside from the unadulterated bliss that orgasms brought in the first place.
"I don't really want to talk about it," I insisted. "I maintain that it's not your business and I honestly am a little weirded out about you imagining me and Blaine having sex, but I don't want to get into it with you... or Wes. So don't have him try to do your dirty work."
She sighed. "Fine, but just admit that you two are at it like rabbits."
I blushed again. "Well, not like rabbits," I heard myself muttering before I could stop myself.
"CONFIRMATION!" she screamed and I hurried to shush her. I certainly did not need our coworkers to know about it. "Wes so owes me 20 bucks."
"Please tell me you did not bet on my love life," I groaned.
"Not really. I just bet him that I'd get confirmation of you and Blaine doin' the deed before he did. He's really too nice whereas I'll steamroll you for information."
I chuckled a bit at her reply. She certainly was correct; she'd do almost anything to get the scoop. That nosy bitch.
"So, things with Blaine are all sunshine and roses now that you're pounding him... each other, I guess... on a regular basis?" she asked.
"Not going there," I replied. At that moment, my phone buzzed briefly in my pocket, indicating that I had a text message. I pulled the phone from my pocket and saw that I had a text from Blaine.
Sorry, can't make it to the show tonight. Raincheck? –B
I couldn't tell if I needed my glasses or if my eyes were getting blurry from tears, but it must have been the latter since Lauren immediately stopped quibbling about whatever she was droning on about and silence filled the room. "Are you okay?" she asked.
"Uh, yeah," I said noncommittally as I sorted through the racks of clothes I had just pressed and started picking at their buttons and hooks for anything that would need to be fixed. I realized my very obvious change in attitude might be a slight give away about the mental state I was trying to hide, but I couldn't really help it.
I had been at the theater for at least two hours and the show was still at least another two from curtain time. The cast had started trickling in, but no one was due to come to costume for another hour or so. Rather than spend any additional time dwelling and overthinking things with Blaine (and subsequently thinking again about how good he felt last night as he sweetly and cautiously made love to me last night), I decided that the phrase "idle hands are the devil's playground" and took my wandering mind and nervous hands to the theater to keep myself busy.
Normally if I was stressed I would clean the house or work on tailoring and repairing some of my clothes, but being around my apartment only brought lingering memories of Blaine and my insecurities would rise to the surface once again. Hence my current level of commitment and focus in the costumes waiting for their owners being picked apart as I fought to avoid my own brain. It seemed like Blaine not being able to come to tonight's show was the last nail in the coffin as my fears seemed to be realized about the likely crumble of my relationship with Blaine.
"Hello? Earth to Kurt!" Lauren said, snapping her fingers right in front of my face. I looked up from the cheerleading costume held fast between my fingers to Lauren's impatient gaze.
"Huh?"
"I've been talking to you for like five minutes and didn't even get a reply," she retorted.
"Oh, sorry. I was just focused."
"Yeah, you're real focused considering you've been playing with the fabric on that costume for as long as I've been telling you about a potential run in with Bette Midler tonight," she snorted.
"That's nice," I replied.
"Yeah, something's definitely up," Lauren said, slinking into the chair after shoving her bag onto the floor. "You would normally perk up at the thought of meeting Bette Midler, but apparently your mind is elsewhere. Please tell me our earlier discussion has not left you with a boner under that table."
Rather than meet her eye, I turned to the rack and picked another piece of lint off the cheerleading costume in front of me. "It's nothing really," I sighed. Well, I think it's nothing – I thought.
"Spill, Hummel. Since it's obviously not the sex thing, it has to be something else. Not wanting to talk about your gay romance, sure. But this is something different based on the fact that you aren't blushing from head to toe."
"Lauren, it's really nothing," I insisted as I turned to look at her. She was as stubborn as me and I knew that she wouldn't back down. At this point, her face certainly didn't note that she had any intentions of backing down, ever.
Lauren raised an eyebrow and as I turned away from her I could feel her gaze against my back. "Look, I don't really want to talk about it. It's just... been a weird day so far and rather than vocalize something, I'll just keep it to myself."
"How long are you going to do that before you drive yourself crazy with whatever shit you have going on beneath that glorious hair?" she asked. "I'm not asking just because I'm nosy. Lord knows I'm the nosiest person alive. But I also don't want you to have any early onset aging with those worry lines you have on your forehead. Just saving your future skin, Hummel."
I couldn't help but chuckle. I always liked Lauren for her wit and ability to smooth things over with her snark, and in a small way her jest eased my mind the slightest bit. "Thank you for your concern, but I really will hold out for the time being."
She shrugged. "No worries, buddy. But just know I'm here if you need me, okay?"
"Sure," I said with a small smile. "Now tell me about Better Midler..."
The show went smoothly last night and from the outside no one knew the thoughts stewing through my mind from curtain rise to fall. I managed to put aside my insecurities and worries for now and focus on work and I was surprised at how easy it was for me to do it.
But once the final curtain call had ended and the cast was readying themselves to leave for the night, my insecurities reared their ugly heads and I felt myself panicking on the inside.
"Are you okay Kurt?" Roselyn asked as she hung the last of the costumes on the rack. "You look like a ghost."
I nodded gently and tried to regulate the panic that surged within. "Fine. Just a little woozy at the moment," I replied, hoping it would suffice as an excuse about my changing mood.
"Do you need me to call you a car?" she asked.
I smiled at her kindness. It was rare that New Yorkers to be considered kind people, but really, they were just people – and everyone wanted a small sense of human kindness in their lives; even New Yorkers. "No thanks, but I appreciate it. I think I could use a walk anyway."
"Kurt, that's like 20 blocks," she noted. "Are you sure you should be walking in this weather? It's freezing outside."
I shrugged. "I can always catch the A if I need to." My logical mind was telling me that walking when it was 16 degrees outside was a bad idea, but I would hardly feel it with my mind all frenzied and the lack of wind wouldn't make the chill run so deep.
"Well, please text me when you get home, just to be safe," she prodded.
I rolled my eyes. "Sure thing, mom," I said in jest with a smile. Roselyn shot me a smile back before heading to the main office to put in some requests for some repairs that we'd need for next week's shows.
I started to pull together my messenger bag and looped my scarf around my neck before I felt my phone vibrating in my back pocket. I retrieved it and found Blaine's smiling face on the display. I smiled momentarily and answered before I could let the dread become evident in my voice.
"Hello."
"Hey Kurt."
I smiled. The way he said my name sounded like heaven coming from his lips. "How're you?"
"Doing so much better, thanks. How're you?"
"Fine."
"Fine?"
"Uh, yes?"
He chuckled. "I'm afraid. You know that old adage that when someone says they're fine, they're really not 'fine.'"
"Really. I'm fine, Blaine."
"Well that's a relief. What are you up to?"
"Just wrapped up for the night and getting ready to trek home. What about you? How was your day?" Part of me was dreading asking that question because I was afraid of the answer, but I couldn't help myself.
"It was pretty good actually. I actually wanted to talk to you if you're free."
"Oh, uh..." I couldn't help but stall a little. Rarely would people say 'I want to talk' without some sort of bad thing at the ready. It was what the teachers had said before they told me my dad was in the hospital, it's what my date would say when they wanted to let me down easy. I couldn't help but assume the worst. "I guess I can swing by," I said, pulling my coat on and hoping that my father's heart condition and my potential arrhythmia wouldn't cause me to die as my heart pounded in my chest.
"I'll do you one better," he said and suddenly the phone went dead in my hand. I couldn't help but be confused and a little hurt. I normally appreciated Blaine keeping me on my toes, but I couldn't handle the rollercoaster of emotions I was dealing with right now.
I pushed through the crowds of people trying to get out and willed for my tears of frustration and hurt to hold off until I could be locked up in my room with some depressing Adele songs and a giant container of Chinese take out, but before I could get too far out the door and into the busy sidewalk, I felt an arm around my bicep.
"Get off me you- oh," I said as I turned to face my "attacker." It was Blaine, holding a bouquet of flowers and a bag of takeout food in one hand, the other still wrapped securely around my arm.
"Hi gorgeous," he said with that charming smile and I couldn't help it any longer.
I burst out into tears right there on the sidewalk outside our theater, my hands clawing at my face to hide my embarrassment and Blaine's grasp turned from firm to gentle as he smoothed my arm and eventually wrapped his free arm around my shoulders and drooped it at my lower back, rubbing it slowly.
"Kurt, are you okay? What happened?" he asked calmly.
I turned to look at him, concern deep in his eyes with his luscious lips slightly frowning at my face. The tears dried somewhat and a large smile cracked on my face as I wiped my cheeks of their tears and practically jumped into his arms. "God, I love you. I love you so much."
He chuckled, "I love you too." He wrapped his arm firmer around my waist as mine laced behind his head and I buried my face in his scent and could feel the warmth of his skin on my cheek. "Not that we have to talk about this here," he whispered, "but will you please tell me why you burst out crying when you saw me? You really scared me."
I pulled away from him slightly, but not far enough to let him loose from my grasp. "I can. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to freak you out in any way." I finally calmed down enough to really take in his appearance and the beautiful arrangement of roses he had in his hand. "These are beautiful," I mentioned as I took the deep red buds from his hand. They smelled lovely and I couldn't help but grin as I stuck my face into the flowers.
"It's sort of a peace offering/I love you arrangement, if you will," he replied.
"Peace offering?"
He nodded. "Because I couldn't come to the show tonight. I really wanted to, but I had to handle some stuff first."
"Oh," I replied. That lump resettled itself in my throat for the umpteenth time that night.
"Do you want to come back to mine tonight? I could use some one-on-one time and Wes is cramping on our style too much," he suggested.
"Sure," I replied noncommittally and quickly started walking in the direction of his house. Blaine hastened to catch up with me and slipped his hand in my free one. The warmth of his hand and his presence helped ease me a bit, but a sense of dread was ever present.
We walked silently for two blocks before Blaine spoke up. "I brought Chinese food. Beef and broccoli – your favorite – and extra spring rolls too."
"Great," I replied with as much gusto as I could manage. The voyage continued in silence, but Blaine's apartment wasn't far from the theater so we were at his place before long. We headed up the elevator, hands still interwoven, but silent as ever. I didn't want to look at Blaine for fear that my wits would dissolve once again, but knew that it was going to happen soon enough.
As we quietly walked down the hall, the only sound I could hear was the crinkle of the florist paper and the rustling of the take out bag. Blaine unlocked his door and opened it for me as we walked inside. I unwrapped my scarf and unbuttoned my coat but before I could remove them myself, Blaine was at my back taking them off my frame and hanging them on the coat racket. His physical contact and perfect manners were calming me, but I couldn't erase the ominous thoughts from my head.
"What would you like to drink?" he asked as he reached in the cabinet to grab plates and forks for our food – knowing my desire to not eat out of cartons and my inability to use chopsticks with rice.
"Water's fine," I replied and he nodded and grabbed two glasses from the cabinet. "Why don't you turn something on so we can watch while we eat."
I nodded silently and moved out of his view to where his TV was. I flipped on whatever channel he had watched last and sat quietly as I heard him bustle around in his kitchen.
It seemed like Blaine still wanted to date me based on the flowers and dinner suggestions, but what did he possibly want to talk to me about? Was it something about sex? Did he want to try something kinky or weird? Did he want a threesome? Oh god, I hope not. I can't, I just can't.
But what if it was something with his family? What if his brother was hurt or his dad was sick or something? No, he would be far more morose than he is now. He seems like his typical self; maybe a little quieter, but the same nonetheless.
Could it be something with Wes? I hope he didn't try to corner him and threaten his life or something because he "defiled" me? Wes is sort of a papa bear and overreacts a lot, but what if he tries to get me to move out from under Wes' thumb and out of the apartment.
Oh god, what if he wants us to move in together?!
I'm not ready for that.
"A dollar for your thoughts?" Blains asked, setting the plates down on the coffee table along with two glasses of water. I'm not sure how he balanced them all with two hands, but he managed well enough.
"A dollar?" I asked once I processed his presence again.
"With inflation, I think a penny wouldn't be enough so I'll pay you a dollar."
"I'm kind of more interested in what you have to say to be honest," I admitted. It was the truth – I did want to know what he had to say – but I didn't necessarily want to cue him in on my neuroses.
"Well, it's been a weird day at the office for sure."
The office? I hadn't even thought of that as a possibility. I breathed easy for what felt like the first time since this morning, and eagerly waited for what he had to say.
"First thing this morning, well, first thing in the office I mean," he started with a blush rising on his cheeks, remembering our 1am tryst that ended with both of us containing our moans while Wes slept in the adjacent room. "I went to the studio as I had planned but the guys were acting really weird while they recorded this really emotional song. Come to find out, apparently Zach was harboring feelings for me and I had no idea."
I was surprised. I hadn't ever officially met Zach, but I knew he was the lead singer of the band and from how Blaine spoke of him; he had no idea that Zach was into guys. He mentioned how he was always surrounded by girls and seemed to enjoy their company. I certainly didn't expect this turn of events.
"Okay...."
"This certainly threw me for a loop since I had no idea that Zach liked me like that and I didn't even think I was doing anything to lead him on, but I was worried about how the relationship with me and the band would be knowing about this. I mean, I'm sure it happens all the time with the big artists and their recording people or whatever, but I'm just not that way."
I nodded. I couldn't say anything else really especially since he clearly wasn't done with his story.
"So I left the studio and tried to make sure they didn't think that anything was amiss or anything was in jeopardy and I went over to the office to talk to Clark about it."
"What'd he say?" I chimed in, curious to where this was going.
"He and I talked about it for a long time about what to do for this. He said he's had it happen before since you really get close with the people that you record with. He did want to see what my thoughts were on the whole thing and I said I was surprised and hoped that I hadn't led him on since I'm in a committed relationship," he said, nudging me with his arm while I smiled like an idiot, " And that I didn't want to ruin the momentum we're having with this record as we're making great progress.
"So he and I talked about a variety of options including having me ease out of the recording process to having him supervise all the sessions just to ensure that nothing is misconstrued or delay release for a while to allow for some time to cool down."
"So what did you decide?" I asked. He seemed calm so whatever he'd decided he was totally happy with.
"I decided to have Clark watch in on sessions for a while, but I don't want to back away from this band or this project. It'd be like handing over a baby or something; I found them and we've worked so hard together that it'd be such a waste to throw away that effort for something that we can just... clarify, I guess for a lack of a better word."
"Seems like you have it all under control now..."
"We do. I went back to the studio tonight, which is why I had to miss the show, and talked it over with David and Jeremy. They're both on board for this plan and they actually opted as a band to take a break for a week just to clear the air and just bond as a band more, I guess. Seems like this whole thing kind of jostled them a bit."
"I can imagine," I said softly. "You seem to be really at ease with all of this. How are you not a bit more freaked out or worried?"
He shrugged. "I don't necessarily think I did anything wrong or led him on, but it really was all a misunderstanding. I'm glad this was discovered now as opposed to later in the process where feelings could have been hurt even worse or during a more crucial time in their recording process. And with Clark there and Jeremy and David providing support, it's the best result I can hope for in this situation."
I nodded and smiled. Sure, I was a bit jealous that Zach liked Blaine, but I would be hard pressed to find guysandgirls who weren't attracted to Blaine. Not only was he devilishly handsome, but he was also a gentle, kind man who was smart and had great taste in everything – why wouldn't people want him?
But hearing him openly admit that he wasn't interested in Zach and to know that he'll push for our relationship in a professional environment sealed the deal for me. All of the insecurities I had about my past relationship and him not telling others about me were gone and here was this knight in shining armor who not only would defend me, but would tell people that we were together and that he was happy with the way our relationship was.
"I'm glad everything worked out in the end," I replied and took his hand into mine.
"Now what about what was on your mind?" he asked, taking a stab at his kung-pow chicken.
"I don't know if I want to say now. It's so embarrassing."
"You don't have to worry about being embarrassed around me. I don't care. And besides, I've seen you naked so you don't have anything I haven't seen before."
I swatted his arm with a laugh. "It's not like that. I guess... when you said that you had to talk to me, I was expecting the worst from whatever you wanted to talk to me about."
"Huh?"
"Have you ever heard the old adage "we need to talk?" before?"
"Of course," he replied.
"Well, you said something to that effect earlier and I panicked. I thought we were going to break up or you were going to ask for a threesome or you wanted us to move in together or something like that and I just..."
"...Oh god," he said.
I smiled meekly. "Like I said, embarrassing."
He shook his head and put his fork down. "No, not embarrassing. I didn't mean to say it that way. But it makes it way more obvious that David might have been right... I'm kind of oblivious about this kind of stuff at times."
"I wouldn't say you're oblivious," I corrected. "Maybe you just don't realize how you sound to other people?"
"Kurt, that means oblivious."
"You say po-tay-tow, I say po-tah-toe," I shrugged. "When I saw you at the theater, I was relieved because I honestly thought we were going to have some huge shift in our relationship and I just didn't want that."
"A huge shift like a threesome or moving in together," he joked.
"Or breaking up," I added.
"That won't happen," he replied confidently.
"You don't know that for sure," I replied.
"No, but I certainly don't foresee us breaking up any time soon. I'm happy, you're happy I believe... if it ain't broke, don't fix it and all that jazz."
"So glad you can summarize our relationship with that old saying," I giggled.
"And I don't think you have to worry about the other two, at least not right now."
My eyes bulged. "You mean..."
"Oh, NO! Not the threesome thing. Sorry if you want that, but I don't really want to share. Cooper swears I was shit at it when I was a kid and I can imagine it only would be worse if I had to share you."
"How do you make something so not PG be adorable?" I asked. Blaine really was something else and he constantly surprised me to no end.
"What can I say, I'm adorable," he said while dusting off his shoulders. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "But the second one... maybe one day? I don't know I haven't really thought about it yet but it's too soon now but maybe at one point we might...I don't know, forget me."
"No, no. I mean, no don't worry about it. I think that might be nice in the future as well, especially since I can't imagine living with Wes and Lauren if they end up living together. That sounds like a nightmare."
He laughed. While he was laughing I realized that we hadn't really had a ton of conversations about this kind of stuff; the really deep stuff that can make or break a relationship as time goes by. I knew Blaine fairly well, but with the lingering uncertainties from this morning I just wanted to be sure that we really were on the right path where we could one day, maybe, see something more than what we were now.
"Do you want kids?" I blurted out, surprised at my own blunt question.
Blaine didn't seem to be incredibly phased by my outburst or if he was, he hid it well. "Of course I do, it was in my dating profile," he said with a chuckle. "Yours said you did too or at least were open to it."
"But you could have just said what you wrote to get people to message you or something."
"Do you think that I did that or that I would do something like that?" he asked, an edge to his tone.
"No! Of course...ugh, I'm not doing very good at this whole logical talking thing today," I resigned. "It's just... I know we've not been together that long and I like the pace we're doing at—"
"And I like it too," he interjected.
I smiled. "Good to know. It's just... I guess I just like to talk things out more than most people. I want to know more about you and not just your favorite movie or what type of ice cream you prefer. I just want... more? And I know neither of us is ready to move in together, but I don't want to discover some incompatibility later on which only causes more pain, you know? I just want... more. Yeah, more."
"More?" he questioned.
"I know you can never know everything about anyone but yourself, but I... I guess I just really want us to be best friends and the only way for us to do that is to share with each other."
"...okay..."
I continued. "And I want to know more about you; about the Blaine you are now and how you got to be this way; about your childhood, your relationship with your family, your high school sweetheart... that kind of stuff. I've told you a lot about me and I suppose I want some..."
"Reciprocity?" he asked.
"Yes. I think you know me and now I want to know you. I don't think you're hiding something from me or anything like that, but I just want to know what makes my boyfriend tick more. Does that make sense?"
He smiled and gently pressed his lips to mine. "Makes perfect sense. I'm sorry that you thought something awful was going to happen today and if you felt like I hadn't been forthcoming enough. It wasn't my intention and I was just thinking about it today."
"Really?" I said surprised.
He nodded. "I was just thinking, you've been so open with me and I know pieces have been hard, but I needed... no, wanted, you to know me better as well." He took a gulp of his water and set it down before taking both of my hands in his. "So, what do you want to know, Kurt Hummel?"
"Start at the beginning, I guess."
"It is a very good place to start," he replied with a grin.
"You dork," he said and I spent the rest of the evening holding his hands and listening to him tell me everything.
I think it's safe so say Blaine and I are here to stay. At least as far as I can see.