Saturday Feb. 14, 2018

Going over the Brooklyn Bridge never ceased to give Kurt a thrill. It was his constant reality check that he lived and thrived in New York City. That he had made it - albeit his initial dreams not coming true. He didn't make it into NYADA. He had fooled around with the notion of becoming a fashion designer - even an interior decorator. God, could he have stereotyped himself any more if he had tried? After the breakup with Blaine, he was forced to really look at his life and for once be honest with himself. He had been following a path that he thought he wanted, but when he was no longer going down that path with the man he loved, he realized that there were lots of other options. Ultimately he decided he wanted to help people, particularly children. Not as a teacher though or a social worker but more giving guidance; something that he had needed himself while growing up. That is how he ended up becoming a high school guidance counselor.

He enrolled at NYU and graduated with an undergrad degree in education. To complete his practicum, he chose to work at a high school in Brooklyn, where he shadowed a counselor who really reminded him of Emma Pillsbury. It was there that he saw the brochures on the Pavarotti Music Foundation. It took him a bit to put two and two together and he was completely gobsmacked when he realized that the Foundation actually existed. Being in college often equated to living in a bubble, and so he had not heard of the Foundation even though he was aware of Blaine's success. The fact that Blaine had succeeded in getting the Foundation up and running made him so proud, and yet sad at the same time. He was sad that he felt he couldn't call his ex-boyfriend to congratulate him; sad that he ended up not being a part of their dream coming true. But happy that it existed and he always made sure from that day forward that he kept up to date on the programs they offered, in case any of his students were ever interested.

Sitting in the cab now, he reflected back on all this. Boyfriend...Kurt contemplated the word. It had been a long time since he had called anyone his boyfriend, or for that matter his ex-boyfriend. After his break-up with Blaine he took a sabbatical on relationships for a couple of years. It wasn't until his junior year at NYU that he met Aidan. Aidan was a senior also majoring in education. It was not "love at first sight", nor did it ever become an epic romance, but it was nice and they were well suited for each other. Aidan was kind, had a good heart and not to mention was willing and able to put up with Kurt's never ending drama of not getting good enough marks, and not getting the right professors - so on and so forth. Aidan was actually a lot like Blaine in that he kept Kurt grounded and focused. But the similarity ended there. Aidan was tall, with blond hair and green eyes. His wore his hair long and Kurt didn't think he even knew that gel for hair existed, which was fine by Kurt. He wore jeans, t-shirts and sneakers and was not musical in the least bit. You might say he was the polar opposite of Blaine in most respects, which again, was fine with Kurt. When Aidan graduated a year before Kurt, he decided to teach overseas and left that June for Kenya. He would be in Africa for a minimum one year, and after discussions and tears and tearful discussions, they both agreed that a clean break would really be the wisest thing for them to do. While Aidan was willing to give the long distance a try, Kurt couldn't bring himself to do it. It was just too hard and brought back painful memories. And if they were being completely honest with one another they would both admit that neither really saw the relationship turning into a long term commitment.

After Aidan, there had been no-one special. There were hook-ups here and there, when Kurt had an itch that needed to be scratched, but no one serious. It was easier that way. He convinced himself it was better that way.

When he graduated, the very same school where he had done his practicum offered him a full time job and he jumped at the opportunity. It didn't take him long at all to settle in. He really identified with the students and they in turn seemed to hold him in high regard. Not all of them, but enough that he felt very validated in his career choice and truly always looked forward to going to work.

It was a bit of a misnomer that he was actually living in Manhattan and working in Brooklyn, going against traffic so to speak. But he liked living in Chelsea, and could afford it while he was sharing an apartment with Rachel, who was still pounding the pavement to every audition she could get herself in to. She had mild success with some off-Broadway shows and chorus lines, but the elusive "big break" had yet to happen, however they were both confident that it was only a matter of time. Living in Chelsea gave him the anonymity he needed to be able to go out and let loose and just be him without worrying about meeting up with his students. Brooklyn was a lovely borough but not where he wanted to live; working there however was perfect.

And so it was Saturday morning and he was heading in to the school to attend the district meeting being conducted by the Pavarotti Music Foundation. How strange was this? To be going to hear about programs that he had actually brainstormed about with Blaine years ago. When he found out a couple of weeks back that representatives from the Foundation were coming to speak, Kurt made sure that he would be attending as a representative for his school. Both because he had so many students that could benefit from some of their programs and because he was just plain curious to hear more about how the Foundation had evolved from all those years ago.

He knew the meeting was being conducted by David and Wes and he hoped to have the chance to say hello and reminisce for a few minutes on their Dalton days, even if Kurt had only been there a short time; once a Warbler- always a Warbler. He had been informed that Blaine would not be in attendance. He was never a part of these meetings and would be busy getting ready for the gala later that night. So Kurt was going to the information meeting today, and then later that evening, he'd attend the Gala, where perhaps he'd get a chance to say hello to Blaine.

He wasn't sure what he'll say once faced with Blaine. He imagined "Hi Blaine. It's me...Kurt... your long lost high school boyfriend whose relationship ended in a hot mess. How the hell are you?!"

"No, that would never do" shaking his head with a bit of a grimace. He'll just have to wing it and see what the occasion calls for. He'll say hi to David and Wes at the meeting, and pass along a friendly greeting to Blaine. Then who knows - maybe they could go forward and be friends again. It would be strange, but truth be told, Kurt missed Blaine. Above everything else that they were to each other, they started as friends, and it hurt his heart that their friendship ended with the break-up.

No-one had ever compared to Blaine. Not even Aidan. Cheating incident aside, Blaine was everything to Kurt. Blaine had once told him that Kurt was the love of his life, and Kurt had believed him. He never got the proper chance to say likewise. Even when the vague details of the cheating came out, Kurt knew that he meant more to Blaine than any hook-up ever could. It had all ended up being attributed to Blaine's lack of self-confidence and the inability to be on his own physically in a very emotionally wrapped relationship.

If it had happened when they were older, maybe Kurt would have been able to separate the need for physical contact from the need of unconditional love. After all, he knew lots of gay couples that had open relationships. But he couldn't at the time. They were too young, and too many words were said. Too many accusations were thrown around for there to be any closure that could result in a continuance of their relationship. So they moved on. At least in theory they did. Kurt really never moved on. He never dusted out that part of his heart that Blaine had occupied. As a result there was never enough room there for anyone else to take permanent residence - only temporary rental... so to speak.

The cab pulled up to the school and he exited, paying the driver what was owed. He noticed a black town car just down the street and guessed that it must be Wes and David's. No-one from his school was being driven around in a limo - that was for sure.

Adrenaline from nerves was building up and Kurt thought he should take a couple of minutes and go first to his office and check on some pamphlets that had been sent to him by Emma Schuester. She was still up to her old tricks with her outrageous pamphlets. Now, being older, he realized how effective they were and appreciated their brilliance. They were just entertaining and horrifying enough for the students to take notice, and getting their attention was always the first battle to be won. She had just sent him a batch of new ones and he hadn't had time on Friday to take a look, and curiosity was getting the best of him. He checked his watch - he had time. He didn't need to hear all the introductions that always preceded these meetings.

Opening the box with his keys, he reached in and started pulling them out. A note was sitting on the top of the box.

Dear Kurt,

I'm so happy that you are using my pamphlets! It means so much to me. A validation of sorts I believe.

Both Will and I hope you are well and happy in New York. Maybe one day we can bring the kids up and visit with you and Rachel. Please give her a big hug from both of us.

Kindest regards.

Emma Pillsbury-Schuester

He read it over and smiled. "Hmpph. She hyphenated her name. I didn't peg her to be one to do that. Always a surprise Ms. Emma Pillsbury-Schuester" he said to himself.

The pamphlets made him laugh out loud. They were just as expected....

There on the front was a cartooned picture of a red-faced teenage boy scratching his jeaned crotch with the headline:

Got crabs? Well, you can't throw these ones in boiling water.

Opening it up he read the expected information on STD's and how to be safe.

He pulled the pamphlets out and arranged some on his desk and put the rest on the bookshelf behind him.

Checking his watch again he realized that the meeting had already started. He locked up his office and ran down the hall, ignoring the educator in him that was insisting he walk, and not run.

As he approached the gymnasium he could hear someone speaking and so quietly he opened the back door. The lights were dimmed in the back, so he was able to creep in undetected. Leaning against the wall he looked around to see about 200 people seated in the bleachers and there was a head table set up on the gym floor. They had got a good turnout, he thought as his eyes scanned the room, recognizing some faculty from both his own school and neighboring schools.

But then a voice spoke, startling him... a voice from his past... a voice that he remembered and once knew so well that his heart literally started aching the second he heard it. That voice.... He looked to the voice and saw him.

It was Blaine.

Blaine was standing in the middle of the gym, in front of the table where David and Wes were sitting, along with the principal of the school. Blaine was standing.... in....his...school.

What the fuck!

He must have just been introduced by Mr. Carmichael as he was looking over at the man's direction, thanking him for the opportunity to come speak.

Kurt couldn't move. He stayed where he was - glued against the wall, hoping that it would support him because he wanted to slide down the wall and spill on to the floor into a pile of goo.

Blaine was beautiful. That's all there was to it. He hadn't changed one iota. A bit older, which just looked more sexy on him. His trademark smile, his demeanour; he was the whole package and he looked hot as fuck in his "I'm a NYC hipster" outfit.

"So, thank you for having us here to talk about the Pavarotti Music Foundation," Blaine said to the crowd after thanking the principal for the introduction.

"I know you weren't expecting me, but I'm in town for our annual fundraiser Gala that's happening tonight and we thought it would be a great opportunity for me to personally give you some background and insight on how the Foundation was formed and why it was formed," turning to David and Wes, "while my colleagues and friends will be able to delve more into the finer details of the actual programs and the nitty-gritty of it all" he joked, getting a few chuckles from the crowd.

"I'm only good for singing some songs and telling a few stories", he continued, flashing his megawatt smile at everyone.

"But seriously, this Foundation is very near and dear to me" He paused for a few moments, before continuing. He relaxed and leaned back on the table, supporting himself with his hands and crossing one leg over the other. Blaine looked around the room. "I went to a school that was very much like this one", he noted softly. "I had been at an all boys school, with my homies", looking back and pointing his thumb to Wes and David who were rolling their eyes but grinning broadly. "It was a very safe school. It was easy to go to. There was a zero tolerance rule on bullying of any sort - whether it was race or sexual orientation. We were all equal - we were all one. There was 100% acceptance of who you were from everyone that went there - faculty and students alike." He looked around the room, making eye contact with as many educators as he could and continued to share his story. "I had come previously to that from a public school where I was bullied and eventually was the target of a gay bashing that put me and my friend in the hospital. I missed enough school that I was held back a year, and my parents made it their mission to ensure that when I did go back it would be to a school where this couldn't and wouldn't happen again. Hence Dalton, and the Dalton Academy Warblers became my life." Blaine stood upright and now started pacing his lecture space, being rejuvenated with the memories "It was the name of our Glee club and while music was always my passion, performing was my escape. It became an ingrained part of me and my soul and after some time, I would not be able to separate the two. We competed, sure, but the real glory in it for me was just performing - whether it was a national competition or at the local nursing home; it didn't matter to me - singing and performing became my drug" he shared with a bit of an embarrassed laugh. The audience was smiling with him.

Blaine continued in a quiet and reflective tone "In my sophomore year I met a boy who would ultimately become one if not the most influential person in my life."

Kurt inhaled sharply. He had been mesmerized by Blaine's words and voice and had disconnected himself from the story - until he heard himself referenced.

"This boy was sent to spy on our glee club as we would be competing against them in an upcoming sectionals competition. He thought he was being so clever - quasi dressing like us, but in reality he stuck out like a sore thumb". Blaine laughed at the memory, looking back at Wes and David as they both chuckled, and drew a few laughing audience members into his fold. Kurt smiled, remembering.

"It just so happened that we were going to perform our latest number for the students in the commons room when he stopped me for directions, so I took his hand and led him there, and then proceeded to serenade him with... wait for it...". He put his hands out and paused for dramatic affect.... "Teenage Dream by Katy Perry". Everyone laughed recognizing the song. He chuckled and ran his hand through his hair as his cheeks flared pink. Kurt laughed, looking down at his joined hands, recalling the performance.

"Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know. It was one of my finest moments! But as it turned out, when we invited the boy to stay and have coffee with us and we got to talking, we learned that he was openly gay, as I was too. And he was astonished at the acceptance of my sexual orientation by the rest of the school. He didn't have it so lucky and his story was beginning to sound a bit like mine had been prior to Dalton. The shaming, the physical abuse of being banged up against lockers - shoved into garbage dumpsters. The list goes on. Those were the games that were being played at the public school level, and the faculty just turned a blind eye to the situation" Blaine paused.

"So to make a really long story, a little less long, in time, this boy ended up at Dalton with us. He joined the Warblers and became my very best friend and eventually my boyfriend." He stopped when he heard the ooh's and aw's from the audience. It gave him time to think out what else he was going to share.

"We were together for over two years. In that time, he had transferred back to his high school, deeming it safe once more, and the following year I followed. I figured it was time for me to leave the safety net that was Dalton and prepare myself for my reality; an open gay man in the very conservative world of Ohio. So we went to public school together, and then he graduated and moved to New York City, while I had one more year to make up."

"But throughout this whole time, we had Glee. I cannot stress how important those clubs were to us. Both at Dalton and at McKinley, it was our safe haven. It was an environment whereby a group of misfits could get together and make magic with music. We won Nationals in 2011 at McKinley" he announced with a smile, fist pumping the air. "It was the epitome of everything good."

Blaine leaned back against the table again and continued. "It was during this time that my boyfriend and I would laze around and dream and plan our futures. Both academically and what it would look like together, and we both had this one dream of creating this place - this entity whereby music would be available in all shapes and forms to any kids out there that wanted it. We dreamt about after school programs for schools that didn't have the funding. I recollect there was one school in our district that was for the hearing impaired and they had to drop their Glee program for lack of funding. We dreamt about programs designed especially for LGBT kids. Where they could go and be safe to explore their musicality in a nurturing and safe environment. We dreamt about funding schools from all over the USA to be able to join Glee, because that's a voice that can be heard by all. And music is so powerful."

"So, that, ladies and gentleman, is how it all came about; two boys, in love, dreaming about making the world a better place. It was the creation of The Pavarotti Music Foundation. And as soon as I had a bit of success behind me in the entertainment industry, I was able to get it off the ground, both with funding from ourselves" gesturing a circle between him, Wes and David, "and also some celebrity endorsements. And I'm proud to say that it has become a huge success and has enabled kids from all facets of this country to be engaged in the fine arts programs that we offer." he concluded, again with a blush to his face.

While the audience applauded, he grabbed a bottle of water and guzzled it down; both because he was thirsty and because he needed to do something so he could fight the tears threatening to form in his eyes.

After a couple of moments of silence, to give everyone some time to reflect, he capped his water, looked and inquired with a smile. "So if anyone has any questions, please feel free to ask. This is an open forum" he stated spreading his arms out.

One woman at the front stood up and asked "Where does the name Pavarotti come from? I don't see that you offer any opera programs"

"Ah. Good question" Blaine replied ducking his head bashfully. "It actually was the name of a bird that we had at Dalton. It was a tradition for the newest member of the Warblers to take care of an actual warbler. In this case, it was a canary named Pavarotti. My boyfriend became very attached to him, and well.... yeah, that's where the name came from. It's in tribute to a warbler that brought us together" he concluded.

"Oh, that's so sweet" she replied "But the logo doesn't look like a canary" she noted looking confused at the brochures she had in her hands.

"No", Blaine answered, "The logo is indeed a blackbird, not a canary... but that's another story for another time" he added with a thin smile.

She returned his smile with a nod and sat back down.

Another hand went up and Blaine indicated to them to stand.

One of Kurt's colleagues, who was the Glee teacher in his school, asked about specific funding and grants, which Blaine gladly indicated to Wes with his hands, that it was his turn to stand and get in to the "nitty-gritty".

While Wes did just that, Kurt managed to come out of his stupor. This was all so surreal. He was standing in a school gymnasium, not unlike the one at McKinley, listening to his former best friend/lover talk about their relationship like it was the most treasured thing in his life. Had Blaine felt this all along? Kurt had thought for sure that he had moved on, and maybe he had, but he certainly did not seem to be harboring ill feelings towards Kurt. Wes was wrapping up the legal jargon of how the foundation worked and another woman stood up and indicated to Blaine that she had a question.

Blaine got up from his chair and went back to where he was standing before, politely asking what her question was.

"Well, you keep talking about your boyfriend as if he was in the past", she began, looking around the room for reinforcement nods, "and I'm guessing that there are a whole bunch of us here curious as to if you are still together and if he is a part of the Foundation too?

Blaine froze; the wind taken from his pipes. It hadn't occurred to him that by obviously bringing Kurt up, there would be a natural curiosity as to what happened in the relationship. He pulled out the megawatt smile for the audience and answered philosophically "We were young and well, young people tend to do stupid things. Well, I in particular am guilty in that department, and unfortunately we didn't make it through my senior year in high school."

She looked heartbroken too. "Oh I am sorry to hear that".

"Yes, well thank you, but it happens. And no, he is not part of the Foundation although he's always been a part of it in that a lot of the programs we offer now are a direct result of the vision he had." Blaine concluded his explanation with the smiling façade in place.

Someone else, who didn't even bother to stand, yelled out "What was his name? Do you still talk to him?"

Blaine quickly replied "Oh I'm sorry - it's not my place to name him. I need to protect his privacy" he explained. "And no, we haven't spoken in years."

There was silence in the room as Blaine looked around, hoping someone would ask another question to re-route the conversation.

"Kurt. His name is Kurt"

The voice literally came out of nowhere. Blaine whiplashed his head to the direction of the submission, but couldn't see anyone because of the lights. However he knew that voice...

"Pardon me?" he stammered, heart pounding... "I didn't see who said that".

"It's me Blaine..." Kurt announced, stepping away from the door walking slowly across the gym floor to where Blaine could see him.