May 28, 2013, 8:38 a.m.
Now That I've Seen You: Chapter 12
E - Words: 1,870 - Last Updated: May 28, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 21/? - Created: Jul 20, 2012 - Updated: May 28, 2013 319 0 3 0 0
He just stood out on the driveway for what felt like hours, staring after Blaine long after his silhouette had disappeared. It wasn't until a cold hand came to rest on his shoulders that he noticed how cold - and late - it had been getting.
"How did it go?"
"Not good," Kurt turned around to look into Rachel's eyes. She looked as concerned as he felt. "Do you... do you think you could go after him? Make sure he's okay? Though you probably shouldn't make him talk about it right now. I think he needs some time."
"Did something happen?"
"It's the anniversary of his death, Rachel." The hand on his shoulder tightened its grip, reassuring despite the cold chills it sent up and down Kurt's spine.
"I'm going to look after him. Try not to worry too much, okay? Blaine's going to be fine. He's tougher than he looks." She pressed a quick kiss to his left cheek, disappearing into the night as well.
With Rachel gone, the darkness and the icy wind finally registered and Kurt made to go back into his own house. Before he opened the door he quickly checked his watch to make sure he was still within his curfew. He was. With a deep sigh, he pushed the door open - only to be met with the sight of Burt standing in the middle of the brightly lit hallway, arms crossed and the serious expression on his face that meant they needed to talk.
For a second, his features softened as he caught sight of the tear tracks drying on Kurt's cheeks. But his expression was back to serious just as quickly and the moment was over.
"Kurt. We need to talk. Kitchen. Now." That being said, he turned around and went into the kitchen, expecting Kurt to follow him. Kurt considered just sneaking past the kitchen and into his room for one crazy second, but he knew there was no point. After all, he lived with his father. He couldn't avoid him forever.
So he just gave in and sat down at the kitchen table, trying to look less like he'd cried for hours to no avail, waiting for his Dad to say whatever it was that bothered him. Kurt couldn't remember having done anything wrong.
"Kiddo," Burt started, looking like he wanted to reach out and take Kurt's hands in his but thought better of it. "I know you're not a kid anymore, no matter how much I want you to be. You've got a lot on your plate with being a medium and everything. Don't think I'm trying to say that you can't handle it but... You've been really distant lately. I know we don't always understand each other and you're that age where it's not cool to tell your old Dad stuff but... just know that if you need me, I'll always be there. I can't stand seeing you this upset and not being able to do something about it."
Kurt could feel the tears building again. He wanted to tell his Dad so badly. Burt was all he'd had left after his mother had died. He had no friends and the ghosts he'd met so far hadn't been of much help. In fact, they tended to only make his life more difficult. His dad had always been the one constant in his life, the one person he could tell everything (though he still hadn't mentioned that he was gay... Burt was from a different generation and he hadn't been sure how well he would handle that). He hesitated, not knowing if he should dare to take that step and really tell him everything. One look into his father's eyes told him all he needed to know.
"I'm in love with Blaine."
For a minute, Burt just stared at him, expression blank.
"You- what?"
"I'm in love with Blaine. The Blaine I told you about, the one that's been stuck in McKinley for eleven years now. I accompanied him to see his parents today and it wasn't- it was-" his voice broke and a fresh wave of tears ran down his cheeks. The mere memory of Blaine's expression as he stood behind his parents was enough to break Kurt's heart all over again.
Without a second of hesitation, Burt was out of his chair and next to his son, pulling Kurt into an awkward embrace that nearly caused him to fall off the chair.
"It's okay. It's going to be okay. Just tell me what's happening. Please, son," Burt murmured into his ear, unsure what to do. He settled for awkwardly rubbing his back and patting his hair.
"I- It's just.. It's so unfair, Dad. I feel so... I feel so perfect when I'm with him. Everything is warm and it feels like home when he touches me and his touch is so warm and I didn't even know that was possible and... And it hurts so much to know that I'm the one that has to send him away, to help him move on. I don't want to lose him forever, Dad. I don't know if I can," he sobbed into Burt's shoulder, clinging to him for dear life.
Not knowing what to say - what was there to say? - Burt just held him closer, listening attentively.
"And when we visited his parents today... There was so much pain and it was the anniversary of his death and he hadn't even realized and - what if I just made things worse, Dad? I don't want to hurt him, what if he hates me now for encouraging him to go for it, I-" Kurt's rant was interrupted by his father gently pressing a finger against his lips to shut him up.
"You listen to me, son. I know you. I've seen you grow up. You're the kindest, most generous person I know, just like your mother. If that Blaine guy can't appreciate that, then he might as well be stuck here for eternity for all I care. No one, ghost or not, is going to mess with my son. No one pushes a Hummel around. If he gives you trouble for trying to help him then he's not entering my house. Okay?" Kurt smiled weakly at him and Burt took this as a sign to remove his finger. "You matter, kid. You're not only there to help others all the time just because you're a medium. You need to think of yourself as well. And I don't know about that Blaine guy being warm. Maybe you should ask Glen about it. It's been a while since you've been visiting her and it sounds a bit off to me."
Kurt just smiled at him for a while, slowly wiping the tears away. "That's all you have to say to my confession?" he chuckled wetly. Burt laughed, gently drying off the few drops that had escaped Kurt.
"What, you mean about you being gay?" Kurt nodded. "Well, it's not exactly news to me. I've known since you were three and all you wanted for your birthday was a pair of sensible heels."
Just like that they were laughing again, lying in each other's arms as if nothing had happened.
"You're sure, right? About... you know? And that Blaine guy?" Burt couldn't help but ask when they finally pulled away.
"Yes, Dad," Kurt laughed, rolling his eyes a bit before critically examining his sleeve. "I can't believe I ruined this sweater. That was a McQueen."
And they were back to laughing.
The light mood persisted all throughout breakfast the following morning. They chatted about nothing in particular and Kurt was almost able to forget that he hadn't heard of either Blaine or Rachel since they came back from Blaine's parents. Kurt got ready to meet with Glen after doing the dishes and saying goodbye to his Dad. Hopefully, she'd be able to answer some of his questions.
When he arrived at the graveyard, the sky was gray and it looked like it was about to rain any minute. Kurt thought it was a pretty appropriate display of his emotional state right now. It would be just his luck if it started to rain madly when he finally got around to seeing Glen again.
Like every other time he'd visited the graveyard, Kurt had a flower with him to lay on his mother's grave. He simply kneeled next to it for a few minutes, gently caressing the stone. Sometimes, he just wished his Mom could have been a ghost so he could have her support a little longer. He always dismissed those selfish thoughts immediately, but they were still there, buried somewhere in the back of his mind. It was like this that Glen found him - she always found him before he could really look for her.
"Haven't seen you in a while, dear. Did you finally remember that I'm still here?"
Kurt smiled slightly, not needing to turn around to know who it was. He could tell by her presence by now. Just like Blaine's, it just felt a little different from every other ghost's.
"I never forgot that you're here to begin with. I've just had a lot on my plate. I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel abandoned."
"It's okay. I know it's not easy for you," she reassured him, cold hand lightly resting on his shoulder, a warm smile on her wrinkled face, her white hair surrounding her head like a halo.
"You could say that."
They sat down together, Glen next to him not crooking a single blade of grass. Closing his eyes, Kurt told her everything that had happened as matter-of-factly as he could, merely leaving out the fact that he was in love with Blaine and how much it hurt him to even think about him being gone forever.
"It didn't really look like he was getting any closure from it," he finished his report of Blaine seeing his parents again. "He just looked like he was in pain. Oh God, what if the problem is that they can't let him go? What am I going to do, Glen?"
"Calm down, little grasshopper. I'm pretty sure that's not the problem. But even if it was, one meeting wouldn't solve anything."
Kurt just looked at her. "Why do you think that's not the problem?"
"You said he was warm to the touch?" Glen asked, head tilted to the side a bit as if she was trying to process that piece of information.
"Yes, he is. Why? What does that mean?"
"I'm not sure. Just making sure I didn't forget something," she smirked at him. Kurt knew that smirk. It meant she was holding something back from him, something he was supposed to find out on his own. Also, Glen never forgot anything, ever.
"I'll just have to find out what it means on my own, don't I?" he asked, sounding resigned to his own ears.
"I fear so, dear," she smiled, once again resting a comforting hand on his shoulder. "And until you do... Maybe you should just tell lover boy to try again and not give up just yet."
Kurt took one last incredulous stare at his mentor before uttering a quick thank you and making his way back home. He should have known Glen would catch on on his feelings. Now he just needed to find out what she knew and obviously wouldn't tell him.
Comments
Aw papa Burt! I don't think I've ever been this impatient to see what happens next, haha! Great chapter :) x
Burt is the best I love this!
MORE MORE MORE! Haha, yes I am greedy but I LOVE this story! xD