New York, Wednesday, 10/03/2012

Dear Blaine,

I know we dismissed the idea the first time it came up because we both thought it ridiculous and overly dramatic, but I really feel like I need to write you a letter right now. And knowing me, we probably should have expected this as soon as we labeled it 'dramatic' of all words anyway.

The first few weeks in college have been hell. Not that I don't love my classes and most of my professors, but in the first week alone I've worked more than during the last four years at McKinley. Even Dalton didn't really prepare me for this. They're throwing all these introductory classes at us and in some of them I just want to fall asleep because I already know all of this. In others I can't type fast enough to keep up with all the amazing information we get. I've always thought myself fashion-savvy - only now I realize how presumptuous that idea really was.

But no matter how exhausting and overwhelming the schedule is, I can't deny that I feel this is where I really belong. I'm almost glad NYADA didn't accept me. Listening to Rachel complain all the time about her horrible fellow students and the devil that seems to be her dance class professor... Even she doesn't seem really happy about her choice and we both know that if there ever was anyone who wanted to be on Broadway more badly than me, it's Rachel.

So far, I can't really complain about the other people in my classes. I have Ella and Perc and while I didn't really have contact with anyone else apart from the occasional greeting or small talk, they don't seem to have escaped out of a very clichéd 'The Devil Wears Prada' like fashion novel. They're all eager but I don't think they're at the point where they'd rip off anyone's head to reach their aim just yet (though I see a bit of a younger Rachel in some of them, so I probably shouldn't assume I'm safe this early on). There's this one guy who won't stop hitting on me (and before you even get any ideas, which I hope you're not because I expect you to trust me more than this, he's so far from my type - which would be you - that he wouldn't stand a chance even if I had been unfortunate enough to never have met you). Perc legitimately growled at him that one time he refused to back off but he's still pretty insistent. One day he'll get the hint, or so I hope.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that horrid bitch in my lab classes. The one I am sadly forced to work with on a regular basis. Michelle is still convinced I should give her a chance and maybe she isn't as horrible as we all think. Most of the time I agree with her to leave her some piece of mind between Perc's and Ella's rants on that girl, but in all honesty, she just gets worse every day. And I've only really talked her three times.

I know that you know most of this anyway due to the fact that we text almost constantly and if we don't, we're either on Skype or on the phone. But I don't want to waste time I can spend actually talking to you with going on and on about college and all the little things that irk me. So I thought maybe we could shift our ramblings about the annoying little things to letters - that is, if you don't think I'm silly for writing you one - and instead talk about more positive aspects whenever I'm blessed enough to actually hear your voice. Besides, I haven't forgotten our conversation in Miss Pillsbury's office and I don't want you to feel like I left you behind by talking about New York all the time. Believe me, I'm very much interested in New Directions and what you're all up to, no matter how far away I am.

Apart from my classes, life has settled down a bit. I've been out with Perc, Ella and Michelle for a bit a few days ago since Tash wanted some privacy as well. I stayed over at Ella's (oh God, I need to show you her apartment when you come to visit me, I NEED to get one just like that when we move in together!) because I didn't need a repeat of the other day when we fell asleep in front of our laptops. At least not of the part where Tash walked in on us.

But other than that, our 'home life' is pretty boring, I fear. We're both so exhausted when we come back home that we basically just throw a coin to decide who will be unfortunate enough to have to cook for both of us and the other one has to do the dishes. But we're still having dinner together in her room and we're still watching either trashy reality TV or equally trashy casting shows together. And I have to say, apart from you Tash has to be my favorite duet partner so far. She's not constantly trying to steal the show like Rachel ends up inevitably doing two or three songs in and our voices sound really good together. Maybe we'll have to sing to you on Skype when she doesn't pass out cold after dinner one of these days. Those dance classes seem to be the worst.

What else could I tell you? Well, I know that I mentioned to you that I was looking for a job to help finance everything... And I succeeded! It might not be my first choice or a dream employment, but it will bring in some money. Guess what it is?

Whatever you guessed is probably wrong because yes, the fabulous Kurt Hummel, Lima's most promising talent, ended up being a barista in the Starbucks around the corner. At least I get to be around coffee a lot. And there are some fond memories linked to coffee shops, even if none of those events took place in a Starbucks, specifically. I'm wondering how upset my boss would be with me if I'd take the Lima Bean mug you gave me to work with me...

Anyway, I don't think I have much left to say, apart from 'I miss you so much it hurts' and 'I love you, I wish you were here with me'. But I say that enough via texts and when we talk, so I don't suppose I have to make much room for it in this letter. I sincerely hope you know that, anyway.

So, if you don't think I'm silly or completely out of my mind for writing you this letter I'd be incredibly happy to hear from you in a reply. I know we talk all the time but there's so much more room in a letter for all the stupid things we forget to mention when we're on the phone or Skyping. And it does have a bit of a romantic touch. As we have already established, I'm a silly romantic and contrary to all you have to say on the subject, you are very far from being bad at romance, Mr. Anderson. So woo me with your dapper letter-writing skills! Tell me everything!

All my love,

Kurt

Lima, Monday, 10/08/2012

Dear Kurt,

I can't believe you actually wrote me a letter! You're right, I probably should have expected it, but it was still a surprise when I opened the mail this morning. Not to say that it was an unpleasant surprise. In fact, I had already toyed with the idea but I thought it might be a bit over-the-top and come over as clingy. But since you started it I'll gladly go with it.

Okay, so you wanted to know everything. I will start with that, if you don't mind. First off, that new kid, Marley, is a real sweetheart. Her voice reminds me a lot of Rachel but she's far from being as tough as her when it comes to people getting in her way. We somehow managed to have Puck's younger brother in our rows (who even knew he had one?) and seriously, it's like having Puck himself back with us. They are more alike than you would think possible.

We have some new Cheerios with us as well but I didn't really get to talk to any of them much. They stick to themselves and sometimes I'm not even sure what they are doing in the choir room with us. Sure, they can sing and of course dance, but apart from that they are not really making an effort to get to know any of us, not to mention bond with us. You told me so much about it, but is this what it felt like in the beginning? When New Directions first started? Because except for the few of us that are still left here from last year, there isn't a trace of the feeling of being a - granted, a rather dysfunctional one, but still - family to be found. It's like they still don't really belong with us and honestly, I'm at a loss as to what Mr. Shue is going to do about it. I can't really think of anything that would make the situation less tense. Hopefully, it'll get better with our first win at Sectionals.

That is another thing that bothers me a bit. We've done our, uhm, 'research' for a lack of a better word that is not 'spying' (though I do have rather fond memories of a certain spy coming to Dalton two years ago... and I'm really glad you decided to listen to Puck that day) and we will have to get a lot better than we are now to be fit to measure up to the Warblers this year. Sebastian put a lot more effort into it than last year and they are really good. I've rarely seen them perform better. It will be anything but easy for us to win and in all honesty, it feels a bit weird competing against them without you by my side.

Even if you leave aside the fact that half of New Directions is still not really part of the family, there are just as many problems within the part of the group that stayed behind. I'm actually ashamed to have to admit how many arguments there have been about competition solos. I guess Tina, Brittany and I all tried to fill the slot Rachel left behind and it's been... pretty ugly, to be honest. On top of that, Brit had a lot of problems with Coach Sylvester and the Cheerios because her parents insist that her grades have to get better this year. I can't really reproach them for wanting to make sure she's not held back another year, but it did get to her a lot. The Cheerios have been the one constant in her years at McKinley (well, most of the time, at least) and with Santana and so many of her friends gone... Let's say she's not taking it well. And she's letting it out on us.

Though I have to admit that sometimes, Tina and I aren't that much better. I don't know if I've told you all about it or if you maybe heard it from Burt or someone else... but I, to quote Tina, 'joined every club under the sun'. In a fit of insanity I still can't explain I even tried to join the Cheerios... Well, you can imagine how that went down. Coach Sylvester refused to talk to me, even in the form of insults to my hair or my wardrobe, for almost a month. But I promise you don't have to worry about me stretching myself thin or anything. It is McKinley, after all, and there is not that much to do here. Besides, it will probably look good on my college applications and if I want to make it to New York to join you next year, I should take all I can get. I even decided to run for class president.

Have I already told you about this year's school musical? Guess what we were able to convince Mr. Shue to do with us? That's right, Grease! You didn't expect that one, did you? It's going to be so much fun, I can't wait for us to start auditions!

What else can I tell you about? Well, my parents are still absent as ever, but on the rare occasion that they are actually in town I have to say they improved a lot. My Dad even asked me how you were doing just a few days ago. I probably shouldn't be this ridiculously happy about such a small step, but it is a step in the right direction, after all. Cooper is still calling every now and then and I feel like he's really part of my life again by now. He even listens to me when I rant about how much I miss you, which most of the rest of the people around me have given up on long ago.

I still spend a lot of time at your house. Watching football games with Burt is really fun and I think he's glad I'm there. I'm sure he was afraid that he'd have to watch them all on his own now that Finn's out of the house. I'm not sure if Carol deliberately has all her shifts scheduled to the days when there are more important games or if it's only accidental, but he usually ends up alone in front of the TV when the time comes. He seems really grateful that I join him.

Sleeping in your room for the better part of the week is awesome and at the same time incredibly hurtful. Your sheets start to smell more like me than you (we definitely have to change that when you come to visit on Thanksgiving! I'm counting the days and I don't even care how pathetic that sounds!) and so many of the more personal things I've gotten so used to over the last almost two years you took with you, so it doesn't even look the same. But it's alike enough to help me recall all those memories we made in here and even though it hurts because I can't hold you or kiss you, it's also nice. To still have you with me in the only way we have right now.

I'm glad you enjoy your classes and that you have at least a few good friends at Parsons! And I don't mind you talking about your life in New York at all! Please, tell me everything! I mean, I don't really have to be afraid of you leaving for New York and forgetting all about me. You already are in New York and judging by the way we are constantly communicating, you haven't forgotten about me yet, either.

I'd love to meet your friends and look at possible future apartments with you. And I can't deny that I'm a little excited to see you in your work clothes... I might develop a thing for baristas now. I know it's probably selfish but I like the idea that your workplace is going to remind you of us. Just like walking down the halls of McKinley constantly reminds me of us.

I love and miss you too. So much. And we already established that you being a romantic is not silly at all. I love that about you. I love everything about you. I hope my letter-writing skills fulfilled your expectations!

All my love,

Blaine

P.S.: Tell that guy to back off for good or I'll have to have a word with him when I come to visit.