Blaine looked around the ballroom looking for the familiar head of perfectly styled chestnut hair, but he 
didn't see his best friend anywhere. He felt a pang of guilt, he hadn't talked to Kurt during the wedding, 
but then again, James hadn't left his side the whole night.

He looked around and spotted Wes coming back into the ballroom with an expression on his face you 
would have thought someone had set fire to his gavel.

He decided to go talk to Wes, maybe he knew where Kurt had gone.

"Sweetie, I'll be right back," he said as he stood up from his chair.
James looked up at him "where are you going?"

"I...um... going to the restroom" James gave him a look like he didn't believe him. "Ok, just hurry back, 
honey bear." Blaine gave him a quick peck on the mouth and walked over to a grim-looking Wes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As soon as Blaine reached Wes he asked him "Have you seen Kurt anywhere?"

Wes still had a tortured look in his eyes" oh yeah, actually he just left..."

"What!?Why!?" Blaine suddenly felt worried

"Kurt wasn't feeling well he told me to tell you that he's sorry he had to leave and didn't want to 
bother you with it," Wes said.

"Didn't want to bother me with it?" Blaine said a little bit in disbelief.

"Yeah, just leave it, Blaine, he didn't want to bother you on your wedding day, he's just fucking 
considerate like that," Wes said with a little more bitterness than he intended to.

Blaine looked at him a little shocked at his outburst, but dismissed it immediately; his best friend was 
out somewhere sick.

"Is he driving?" Wes sighed heavily "no he's outside waiting for a cab" Blaine's body flooded with relief.

"Good, I'll go say goodbye, and make sure he's ok" with that he turned and headed towards the exit. 

"Keep James entertained for me," he said over his shoulder.

"Blaine I don't think..." but he was already gone before he got to finish.

Wes rubbed his face with his hands, he knew it was a bad idea, letting Blaine go out there, but he 
couldn't do anything about it now.

He was sure nothing good would come of it, Kurt was on the edge, and Blaine was oblivious.

"Fuck"

With that he headed towards the bar, he needed a really strong drink.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While Blaine walked toward the hotel lobby, he thought about Wes odd behavior back in the ballroom, 
like he didn't want Blaine to go and talk to Kurt, acting almost protectively, like Blaine was going to 
shoot his baby cub.

Then his thoughts went to Kurt's changing behavior over the last couple of weeks, he had been quieter 
than his usually sassy self, more reserved...more distant. he thought maybe Kurt was just trying to give 
him more space so he could be with James, Kurt knew they wouldn't spend as much time with each 
other anymore and was just trying to make the transition easier for both of them. The thought saddens 
Blaine a lot, he loved spending time with Kurt. He was probably the only one that he ever felt 
understood him; he was comfortable with Kurt he could usually act like his dorky self without being 
judged. He didn't have to be perfect around Kurt, and Blaine just loved that about their friendship.

Blaine knew something wasn't right with Kurt, he knew when Kurt hid things from him and he knew he 
was hiding something big. he had tried to talk to Kurt about it a few times, but Kurt as usual waved it off 
with a flourish of his hand and said 'it wasn't important' Blaine kept pestering him about it, but Kurt 
quickly changed the subject, but he was sure it was about a big white envelope he saw in Kurt's coffee 
table a few weeks back it had a foreign seal; French he thought, but Kurt just picked it up when he 
notices Blaine looking at it and put it in one of the drawers in the living room.

During Kurt's speech earlier it's when Blaine started to worry, the usual spark in Kurt's blue eyes 
was gone, he looked tired, sad, and he looked defeated...

Blaine was shaken from his thoughts as he realized he reached the lobby of the hotel. He frowned when 
he spotted Kurt sitting on a bench outside smoking a cigarette. It was a nasty habit he wished Kurt 
didn't do.

He walks outside and approaches Kurt.

"I thought you were sick," Blaine says as he takes the empty seat next to Kurt

Kurt looks over at him and Blaine's heart sinks. Kurt's usual perfect porcelain skin is blotchy and his 
bright blue eyes are now bloodshot and puffy. He had been crying. Kurt never cried and it worried Blaine 
more than he was already.

"Oh my god Kurt, what's wrong? Why are you leaving?" Blaine searched Kurt's eyes now grey from him 
crying.

Kurt just took another drag of his cigarette as he looked down at his crossed legs. "Nothing, I'm just not 
feeling well"

Blaine knew he was lying, he gave out a frustrated sigh, he was getting sick of Kurt just evading 
everything "Kurt, you've been crying, I know it's nothing"

Kurt just waved his cigarette in dismissal "I'm just a little drunk Blaine, stop worrying, and I'm fine."

Blaine knew nothing was fine and far from it. He just knew that his friend needed some comfort so he 
reached out to touch his arm, but Kurt flinched away like his touch was a fire.
The reaction shocked Blaine, he couldn't understand why Kurt reacted like that, did he do something 
wrong? Was Kurt angry at him?

"Kurt, please, what's wrong? Tell me"

Kurt huffed out in annoyance "Blaine I'm fine, really, I just... I just need to go home, ok, please, just drop 
it"

Now, Blaine, was the one getting annoyed "No I'm not going to 'just drop it, we're going to talk about this 
now"

"Why?" Kurt said with a little bit more sass than he wanted "go back inside Blaine, it's your wedding you 
should be in there and not talking to me about my stupid problems."

"they're not stupid problems Kurt, I want you to talk to me about whatever is bothering you know 
you can tell me anything right? You're my best friend. I hate seeing you like this" you could hear the pain 
and the worry in Blaine's voice.

"I'm not your best friend anymore Blaine, you have James now" Kurt took another drag of his cigarette. 
With Kurt's last statement, Blaine thought he knew finally what this was about.

"Kurt, don't say that just because I'm married doesn't mean you stop being my best friend"

"Yes it does Blaine, do you think this..." he waved between them "...is going to stay the same, 

You married Blaine, you have a husband now you don't need me anymore"

Blaine wasn't expecting that, he started to panic, he didn't like how this conversation was going." Kurt, 
I'll always need you, you're the only one I can talk to about anything, your my closest friend"

"Blaine, we just...fuck, we can't be close anymore, it isn't ok, and I know for a fact James is not totally 
comfortable with our relationship"

Blaine knew Kurt was right; there had been many fights between him and James about how close Kurt 
and he was.

"he's fine Kurt he'll get over it, we've been friends forever he needs to understand that, I need you in my 
life Kurt, he'll learn to understand" Blaine said the last part mostly to himself, he could feel Kurt slipping 
from him and it was scaring him.

Kurt finally snapped he couldn't handle it anymore. He looked at Blaine with a glare

"Do you think this is only about you? Did you consider that this may be hard for me too? You're 
not the only one losing someone here ok, at least you have the love of your life by your side, sorry I'm 
not going to be there waiting around like a puppy dog whenever you need me, Blaine"

"you know that's not how I think about you" Blaine was struggling with what he was trying to say "you 
mean so much to me Kurt, is that really what you think you mean to me?" Blaine said; hurt evident in his 
voice.

Kurt didn't answer; he just looked back down as a wave of fresh tears started to fall down his face

"I'm sorry Kurt if that's how you feel, please tell me what I can do to fix this ..." Blaine looked over at 
Kurt looked so sad, so...broken, he just wanted to take him into his arms and comfort him as he 
cried, but he didn't think it was such a good idea at that moment "...I don't want to lose you...I love you 
so much Kurt...."

The look Kurt gave him made his breath stop, his eyes were still puffy red from the crying, but there 
were lifeless, and it scared Blaine to his core, everything was spiraling out of control fast.

"Please...don't say that..." Kurt said almost in a whisper.

"But I do love you, Kurt"

Kurt had it; he couldn't take the torture anymore. The combination of the alcohol and the anguish was 
getting to be too much. He stood up and looked down at a shocked Blaine. Angry tears already 
threatening to fall.

"Just shut up Blaine. Please shut up..." Kurt said angrily

"I love you, why wouldn't I... your my best-"

"Stop Blaine please, I know you love me, I know you care about me as a friend but that's not what I w-
want"

"What do you mean?" Blaine asked a little confused.

Kurt realized what he said and felt his blood run cold, he didn't mean to say that, but what could he do, 
he couldn't take it back without an explanation. he knew he was about to ruin the best thing he's ever 
had in his life, he knew if he decided to tell him the truth he would lose Blaine forever. Maybe it was 
better in the long run for him. If he got Blaine out of his life may be the pain would finally stop. And 
maybe one day he could move on with his life, he had the opportunity, so Kurt decided to tell him the 
truth. Blaine looked at him to answer his question.

"Do you want the truth, Blaine, fine..." he took a steading breath "...I wish it had been me...I... I've 
been in love with you since the day I met you, Blaine. and I know I'm not him, I'm not perfect or 
handsome or funny or successful like him, and I've always known that I would never be good enough for 
you, to be the one for you. So I stood by the sidelines, just being happy to be your friend. It was 
better than not having you in my life at all." there the truth was out, but Kurt suddenly regretted it once it 
was out of his mouth.

Blaine swallowed the lump in his throat as his mind tried to process what Kurt had just said to him. Kurt, 
his best friend of ten years was in love with him, how could he not notice?

The cab pulled up to the curb and honked.

"I'm so sorry Blaine I didn't want to do this, especially not today, I'm so sorry...I've...I have to go..."Kurt 
said as he turned around and headed to the cab.

Blaine still in shock got up and followed Kurt to the cab" Kurt wait!" Kurt paused in front of the cab, not 
turning around, he couldn't look at him right now, he was so embarrassed and ashamed for doing this to 
him on his wedding day, and he felt like the biggest asshole ever.

Kurt felt Blaine standing behind him but he couldn't turn around and face him

"Why?" Blaine said softly "why did you never tell me?"

"I-it wouldn't o-of m-mattered "Kurt cried.

"Kurt, why would you think that?" Blaine was so confused he didn't even know where to begin asking Kurt, so he could understand.

Kurt turned around, but kept his eyes on the ground "like I said Blaine it doesn't matter...."

Blaine just stood there not knowing what to say, but Kurt spoke again.

"I'm leaving" Blaine didn't want him to leave but, it was just so much to understand, and his wedding 
was not the best time to be dealing with this.

"I know, but please Kurt we have to talk about this, this isn't anything you can just brush off-"

"No Blaine, I mean I'm leaving for good...I'm moving to Paris in a few weeks..." Kurt hated telling Blaine 
after everything that night, but he wasn't sure if would see him before he came back from his 
honeymoon."...I know you saw the envelope the other day... it was from a fashion house in Paris, they 
offered me an internship, and I decided to take it."

Blaine didn't think he could take anymore, on the happiest days of his life, things were falling apart. "I 
don't know what to say...this...I just...I don't want you to leave"

"You'll be fine Blaine, I just think that's the best thing for me right now, I don't think I can be in New York 
anymore, I need some time."

"Kurt... please, please don't leave, I don't know what I'll do without you..." he knew he sounded pathetic 
but, he didn't want Kurt to leave. He hated knowing Kurt was going to another continent just to 
get away from him.

Kurt leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek

"Bye Blaine"

Kurt got in the cab and then he was gone.

Blaine stood on the curb, he couldn't believe what had just happened, and in a matter of moments he lost 
his best friend.

Kurt had just walked away from him.

He played the whole conversation over in his head.

Kurt was in love with him.

Beautiful, remarkable, intelligent Kurt.

Their entire friendship was the best thing in Blaine's life. Kurt had always been there for him from the 
moment they had met. He had been his confidant when he was having problems at home, Burt even let 
him live with them when his dad kicked him out. He comfort him whenever he had a breakup, making it 
better by watching Disney movies and eating ice cream and he always took care of him when he 
was sick; getting him medicine and hanging out with him so he wouldn't get bored.

Kurt had been there at his highest and his lowest. He never judged him; Blaine could always be who he 
was with him he never had to hide. Kurt was the reason he worked so hard because Kurt believed in 
him and was supportive of everything he had done. He thrived at the moments that Kurt told him he 
was proud of him.

Kurt had been there from the beginning of Blaine's and James' relationship, he was there every time they 
fought. He would listen to him and give him advice on what to do, and on more than one occasion 
he had kept them from breaking up.

Kurt was the first person he told he was marrying James.

He had gone with Kurt to pick out a ring and dealt with months of wedding arrangements.

He had done all that for Blaine because he knew it was making Blaine happy.

He hated himself for putting Kurt through all that because Kurt deserved everything, he deserved to be 
happy.

He was so torn, he loved James, he was smart, charming, and gorgeous. And as toxic as their relationship 
was, they always managed to work things out.

He snapped out of his thoughts when he realized he was still standing on the curb of the hotel and 
started to go back to the reception, back to his husband.

As he walked back he couldn't ignore the violent ache in his heart.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kurt sat in the back of the cab, thinking about the nightmare that he finally had made true. In five minutes he had ruined ten years of friendship. He felt like the biggest fool ever.

It had all turned out exactly how Kurt expected it to. Blaine had never wanted him; he cared about him, 
but was never in love with him.

Kurt knew it was cruel to leave things how they were, but what choice did he have? Did he stay and 
watch Blaine be happy with someone else or leave and try to move on with his life.
But he knew it wasn't possible to stay, so he was leaving and he didn't know for how long.

Kurt had received the offer from the fashion house a few days after Blaine got engaged. He hadn't really 
thought he would take the offer, but as the weeks passed by, and the more hopeless he felt the offer 
seemed more appealing, he needed to leave, he needed to escape and forget about Blaine, and maybe 
Paris would allow him to do so.

So he ripped his heart out and left it behind.

Without Blaine, Kurt knew that his life would be empty.

He had to move on.

He had to try.