Kurt walks into Rachel’s beautiful penthouse apartment decorated beautifully for her Christmas party. As always he made sure they would be fashionably late. The apartment was already crowded when they arrived, a sharp-dressed Sebastian on his arm.

They grab the champagne offered to them as they make their way around the room. People dressed to the nines around them, mingling and talking. He looked over at the row of glass windows, a sparkling view of the New York skyline.

“Wow, quite the party, looks like half of New York is here,” Says Sebastian as he takes Kurt’s already empty glass and grabs two more off a waiter's tray.

He hands one to Kurt and he takes a large swig before Sebastian even has time to take a sip. “Whoa there, I want you nice and lose later, but let's take it easy, we just got here”

Kurt gives him an icy blue glare. Sebastian puts his hands up “I’m just saying I have plans later and they involve you not being smashed”

“KURT!” He hears his name being called loudly from the large group in the corner. Rachel stands up excitedly and starts waving at him to join him.

“I’ve been summoned” he takes another gulp of champagne and finishes it, Sebastian lifting an eyebrow in amusement.

“Leave you to it then, I’m gonna go and mingle a bit” he turns around and heads to the other room.

“KURT come here!!” He heaves a sigh and grabs another glass of champagne on his way to Rachel.

She’s sitting on the piano bench surrounded by a large group of people, clearly enthralled by her before she called him over.

She pats the space beside her and takes a seat.

“Everyone, this is my dearest friend the designer of KAB Kurt Hummel, he just showed his collection this fall for New York fashion week.” She slurred.

There was a man in an expensive black suit and curly brown hair, giving a predatory look “Yes I’ve heard about you…and your designs” he says a bit more flirtatiously than Kurt would have liked. Kurt feels a pang of shame as Blaine’s words echo in his head “…the things they say…” he guessed rumors do travel fast even in a city as big as New York.

Kurt hadn’t been able to shake the fight between Blaine and him that morning in his apartment. That was almost two weeks ago and Sebastian had been at his place almost every day since then. He didn’t like the man, years hadn’t changed his pompous and grating demeanor but it was a body to distract him while he faced whatever inner turmoil he was feeling about Blaine. He did feel a little bad, but Sebastian knew their arrangement was purely physical.

But Kurt had been tortured for weeks with Blaine’s words. 

“Tell me you don't love me….”

But Kurt couldn’t say it, he knew it would have been easier, but deep down he knew it would have been a lie.

—————————————————

Blaine was fussing with his tie. He didn’t want to go to Rachel’s party but he knew Wes and James would have been upset if he missed a party where he could bump shoulders with important industry people. He did love Rachel; he just didn’t like parties. Especially when he had been feeling a little depressed the last couple of weeks.

James was still angry at him, he never seemed to make him forget how worthless he should feel for leaving him alone at his partner's dinner. 

“Do you know how bad it looked…”

“You shouldn’t act so selfish, I’ve done everything for you”

“You wouldn’t be where you are if it wasn’t for me”

Those words hung heavy in his heart. He knew he was selfish and he was ungrateful, he knew James didn’t deserve the way he acted. He didn’t deserve that his mind was preoccupied with one thing only. Kurt.

His mind replayed their conversation at Kurt’s apartment over and over. Kurt didn’t answer his question. Did Kurt still love him? and did he even deserve that love if it was still there?

Blaine had been a fool, he had been so blind for so many years.

So many memories of the two of them…

Drunk phantom lips on a dark football field…

Blaine realized what an idiot he’d been not realizing sooner that he had always loved Kurt.

Deep down he hoped Kurt still loved him.

James slid an arm around his waist and lowered his mouth by Blaine’s ear startling him a bit “What is wrong with you? you looked like someone died.” He said icily.

Blaine shivered, James tightened his arm a little more forcefully “Cheer up, we're around a lot of people I know. Don’t want them to think something is wrong” He looked at Blaine’s eyes intensely. A threat then.

Blaine took a breath and tried to put on the sunniest demeanor he could muster.

“BLAINE! Over here!” Rachel’s impossibly loud voice came from the corner of the room.

“Always the drama queen,” James mutters as he puts on one of his fake smiles, grabbing two glasses of champagne and handing one to Blaine.

They head towards her and the sea of people around the piano parts a bit as they shuffle their way through to where Rachel is sitting.

He stops right in his tracks when he sees who’s sitting right next to her.

Kurt.

Kurt sat there avoiding his eyes in tailored black trousers, a maroon velvet lapel jacket a black shirt with the top buttons left unbuttoned, accentuating his long pale neck. Kurt looked beautiful.

“Are you fucking kidding me.” he hears James whisper behind him.

He forgets that he’s in public and James is there, the last thing he should be caught doing is ogling at Kurt.

Kurt finally looks at him with his beautiful blue eyes, looking devoid of any emotion. And that’s what Blaine hates the most, The look of coldness and indifference.

Kurt gets up and greets them “Hello Blaine…James, always a pleasure,” he says eyes lingering on Blaine a little longer than James probably would have liked. Blaine already knows that’s going to come up later. 

Rachel stands quiet as she looks between all three men, drunk but still feeling the tension in the air.

“It’s good to see….” Blaine starts.

“Excuse me, but I better go find Sebastian, make sure he’s not terrorizing half the guests.” Kurt interrupts, giving Blaine one last look and giving an icy glare toward James as he walks away.

Rachel lifts an eyebrow towards Blaine “is everything all…” 

“Rachel the party is amazing, Thank you so much for having us,” he says as cheerily as he can trying to give Rachel a warning glare. Drop it. 

Rachel gives him a tight smile and an expression that says “we're gonna talk about this later…”

Rachel perks up and greets James “Hello darling, I’m so glad you could make our little shindig” Giving James her best fake Rachel Berry smile.

“We wouldn’t miss it for the world, it's the event of the season.” He says dramatically.

"Well… Blaine! I just had the most wonderful idea! How about we sing some of our old Christmas songs we used to sing when we were at Juilliard!” She says excitedly. Ignoring James' sarcastic comment. Everyone around them looked up and nodded their heads excitedly. Rachel Berry and Blaine Anderson giving them a private concert was something to talk about.

“Rach…I don’t know…”

“Of course, he would love to.” James interrupts him. Blaine purses his lips. Of course, James Always told him what to do.

Blaine sighs and looks at Rachel’s excited face “I would love to Rachel.”

Rachel raises her glass “Everyone! Everyone! Please gather around the piano in a few minutes, Blaine Anderson and I will be gracing you with a small Christmas concert.”

Blaine gives her a small smile as he makes his way to the piano.

Rachel already telling him what songs she wants to sing.

“This is gonna be so much fun!”

————————————

Kurt had lost count of the glasses of champagne he had drunk. He needed some comfort, so booze it was. He knew the chances of seeing Blaine tonight were high. Rachel and Blaine were friends. Deep down he had hoped that Blaine would be there. He tried so hard to show cold aloofness but seeing him had shaken him. He had hoped that his heart wouldn’t betray him but it did. Damn his treacherous heart.

Blaine looked as handsome as ever. In black pants, a green checkered button-up, a cute green velvet bow tie, and a dark green sweater vest to match, curls all groomed on top of his head. He looked a bit slimmer and his eyes looked sad, devoid of all his usual happy spark. James, always unpleasant by his side. He didn't want to give James the satisfaction of leaving. But Kurt didn't have anything to say to them. His and Blaine’s conversation still bounced around his head.

He goes to look for Sebastian, maybe he could offer some comfort, maybe they could just leave and call it a night.

He looks around and spots him leaning near a door frame, having what looked to be quite a flirtatious conversation with a very handsome brunette man.

Kurt sighs a bit annoyed, he and Sebastian weren’t exclusive so there was no reason to interrupt. 

at that moment he hears Rachel’s loud voice “EVERYONE!EVERYONE! Please gather around the piano in a few minutes. Blaine Anderson and I will be gracing you with a small Christmas concert.”

He was just thinking about leaving, but a part of him missed hearing Rachel and Blaine sing. It had been so long. Not since all of them had been in college.

He goes and leans against the wall behind all the guests, maybe he could just watch a few minutes before he departed.

Everyone finds a seat wherever they can, some even sitting on the floor leaving some space around the piano. He notices James is sitting near the piano, head of blond hair in front of Kurt.

“Thank you all for being here this evening and sharing such an exciting night!” She smiles and then Kurt sees the moment she goes into performance mode. She smothers her beautiful satin red dress “Blaine can you start us off.”

Blaine starts playing the piano to a familiar tune.

I'm dreaming tonight of a place I love

Even more, than I usually do

And although I know it's a long road back

I promise you…

Rachel's voice is beautiful as always, Kurt never doubted she would make it big.

I'll be home for Christmas

You can count on me

Please have snow 

And presents under the tree…

Kurt wistfully remembered their first Christmas together in New York. They had felt so adult making their Christmas dinner. They bought wine and played games. Then they ended up singing some of their favorite Christmas songs until the neighbors pounded on their walls for them to shut up.

Kurts was pulled from the memory when he heard Blaine’s beautiful baritone voice start singing.

Christmas Eve will find me

Where the love light gleams

I'll be home for Christmas

If only in my dreams

If only in my dreams

In my dreams, my dreams

My dreams…

Kurt couldn’t keep his eyes off Blaine. He missed seeing him perform. His voice was silky and beautifully filling the room. Everyone was mesmerized. Kurt felt an ache in his chest. He had forgotten that Blaine’s singing was one of the reasons he had fallen in love with him. He remembered the long nights and days and hard work Blaine had put into doing what he loved. Kurt always did his best to support him and make him believe that he deserved to be a star.

They finish and everyone claps, Blaine continues to play and goes into a small compilation of some Christmas Carols, dueting with Rachel.

They stop for a small break, Blaine speaking to a few people around him.

Kurt decides maybe this is the time to exit, but then he stops when he sees a determined Rachel Berry coming his way.

“Kurt, you have to do a duet with Blaine!” He grabs his arm and starts dragging him toward the piano. 

“Rachel no, I don’t think… that’s a good idea”

Rachel gives him an appalled look “Of course it’s a great idea, you and Blaine are great together” she says loudly enough for James to hear.

“Rachel please…” before he knew it he was standing in front of everyone, there was no way to escape now.

“Blaine don't you think it’s a great idea, you and Kurt always sang the most beautiful duets!” She gave both Blaine and Kurt a pleading look.

“Rachel I don't think… I’m a bit rusty, I…” Kurt pleaded again.

“I’m sure you still sound wonderful,” Blaine said, giving him a small smile.

Kurt looked into Blane’s hazel eyes and Kurt decided he couldn’t waste this chance to relive some of the happiest moments of his youth, singing with Blaine.

“Okay, I'll do it,” he says to Rachel.

Rachel squeals in excitement and turns to take a seat. Kurt turns to look at Blaine and gives him a nod to start. He wasn’t sure which one he would pick, but they had a few that they used to sing together all the time.

Blaine smiles and starts playing. He plays the notes of ‘Baby, it’s cold outside’ which made Kurt smile.

‘I really can’t stay…’ Kurt sings into the room full of people.

‘Baby it's cold outside…’ Blaine follows.

They fall into the flirty rhythm, Kurt missed singing, he hadn’t done it in so long, but it felt good to do this again. It was like muscle memory, singing with Blaine again.

‘My sister will be suspicious…’

‘Gosh, your lips look delicious…’ Blaine crooned.

‘My maiden aunt's mind is vicious’ Kurt gives a glance at James, he did not look happy at all. Kurt smirked.

‘Gosh, your lips look delicious’ Kurt feels his cheeks heat up as Blaine looks directly into his eyes.

‘Baby, it's cold outside’ they finish the song and gives Blaine a small smile.

 Everyone around them is clapping. It had been a while so he had forgotten the thrill of a performance well done.

He gives a small bow and heads back to where he was standing, seeing Sebastian waiting for him.

“Still a show-stopper performer I see,” he said with no malice or snark whatsoever.

“Thanks, it was nice to do that again.” He smiles and leans next to Sebastian as he hands him another glass of champagne. He didn't know if it was the rush of performing or the champagne but he felt lightheaded and floaty.

Maybe coming had been a good idea.

—————————————————

Blaine was glad Rachel had urged him to perform, he hadn’t been in a mood to sing, only by himself in his office. It had been a while since he had sung in front of a group of people. It felt good. He knew that performing and singing was what he was meant to do, so he felt a spark of happiness singing in front of Rachel’s group of friends.

 He kept playing a bit on the piano as everyone chatted and filled their drinks. Blaine was still high from getting the chance to sing with Kurt again. Never had he been happier with Rachel’s bossy meddling as he did now. To say he would have been devastated if Kurt had said no would be an understatement.

But Kurt had said yes and that gave Blaine a bit of hope that maybe everything was not lost.

At the same time, Blaine felt a bit anxious to look in James' direction. He knew that he might have made a mistake picking that specific song, but it was his favorite to sing with Kurt, there was no other he would have picked.

He stole a glance at James, just to assess how bad their fight might be later, but the man was in full conversation with a man that Blaine vaguely recognized. He thought maybe a magazine editor, but he couldn’t recall. Blaine could tell, by the stiff demeanor, jaw clenched and finger white around the glass he was holding too tightly that things would not be good later. Blaine sighs sadly to himself as he continues playing to the room full of people.

“Blaine! Could you play us one more? Please?” Rachel says begging. He smiles “of course”

Everyone settles and he starts playing.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

But the very next day you gave it away

He thought it was fitting, melancholy as he was feeling. He wanted to give his heart to Kurt. He knew he should have given it to him a long time ago. But how could Kurt ever forgive him, he had led him on, maybe. He still wasn’t sure. 

Once bitten and twice shy

I keep my distance, but you still catch my eye

Tell me, baby, do you recognize me?

Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me

He thinks of an empty field. Soft music playing in the background. A bit too much beer. Moonlight pooled around them like a soft blanket. Leaning forward and capturing soft lips.

‘Oh, oh, baby

A crowded room, friends with tired eyes

I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice

My God, I thought you were someone to rely on

Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on'

He thought of the night a few weeks before. Sweaty skin under wondering hands. Warm wet lips sliding against each other. Soft breathy Moans as they pressed their bodies together.

‘A face on a lover with a fire in his heart

A man undercover, but you tore me apart

Oh, oh now I've found a real love

You'll never fool me again’

He gives his eyes over to where Kurt is standing in the back of the room, Sebastian right next to him. His belly pooled with jealousy. Kurt could do better, why did he have to let Sebastian slither back into his life? But had he treated Kurt any better than Sebastian? Blaine had not seen the love and support Kurt had given him selfishly since the day they had met. Blaine was overwhelmed with the realization that if he had looked a little closer, his heart was in front of him all this time. He knew now what he wanted, but maybe it was too late, it was too complicated. He was still married to someone he might have never actually loved. Someone who took every opportunity to make him feel like he was never good enough. He looks over directly at James, and Blaine feels nothing towards the man he calls his husband.

‘A face on a lover with a fire in his heart

A man undercover but you tore him apart

Maybe next year I'll give it to someone

I'll give it to someone special…’

He finishes and everyone stands to give him a very loud ovation. He smiles at Rachel and then looks over to Kurt, In the commotion, he can’t see him anymore, when everyone settles down he looks over again and Kurt is gone.

Blaine had hoped he could try to talk to him before he left. He wandered around the party looking for him, but after a while, he realized that he was gone and probably already at his apartment with Sebastian.

Maybe he shouldn’t dare to hope.