Blainewasn't really aware of how he got here, on Kurt's bed surrounded by his soft faux-fur throw. He could hear the other boy downstairs, talking on the phone he guessed since he could only deduce the muffled sounds of Kurt's voice. The blinking digits on Kurt's alarm clock showed it to be part way through second period by now.

Groaning in pain as he rolled onto his side, curling his legs up to his chest, he closed his eyes against the week spring light filtering it's way through the clouds outside and pulled the blanket up over his eyes so that only the top of his head was visible. Sleep kept creeping up on him, dancing tauntingly along the very edge of his consciousness, fingers crooked to beckon him only to pull away at the last minute.

That was a good though, wasn't it? He didn't want to sleep; no matter how tempting it was.

Was it possible to be afraid of going to sleep? Maybe he should look that up, to add it to the never ending list of things that terrified him. Things that his dad liked to use against him;"Maybe it'll straighten you out."

He could still hear Kurt's voice, though he sounded less angry now and more tired than anything. Blaine's still muddled brain wouldn't let him focus long enough to attempt to wonder why his ex-boyfriend sounded so downtrodden, jumping from one distorted thought to another as he tried and failed to ignore the pain slowly but surely making itself known again.

It was the one constant Blaine had in his life now, he used to have Kurt too until last year, but pain...it was something that had been there since childhood and stayed with him through the years. Whether it was at the hands of his father giving him the occasional smack (that would soon become far more frequent and brutal), to the bullies who evolved from pushing him in the playground for his lunch money to beating him into a coma outside of a school dance.

Sometimes he wonders if pain will always be a part of his life. He's growing accustomed to heartache lately and it's getting harder and harder to hide behind the rush of performing. Even with regionals coming up he can't seem to find the joy in glee that much any more; he still goes because it's one of the only good parts of his life lately - it also get's him out of the house on the times when his dad isn't camping out at his office in downtown Columbus.

The dull ache in his ribs is demanding more and more attention now, pulling Blaine farther away from the release of sleep (unless, of course, he falls into another nightmare). Squeezing his shut even tighter, Blaine curled into himself more, knees pressing into his torso just that little bit more, drawing some of the attention from his now-screaming-again ribs to the throbbing in his left thigh and ankle from where his dad had kicked him once he'd been knocked to the ground.

All the boxing lessons, training that he still kept up with seemed to be doing fuck all in terms of helping him defend himself from his dad. He does manage to protect parts of his body on a good day but that man can paralyse him so much more easily than the panic of being trapped can. So much so that it causes all of his knowledge on how to defend himself, on how to lay-out someone twice his size to vanish from his mind, left him as powerless as he felt that very first time, six years old, eyes water-filled and clutching a Beanie Baby puppy to his chest.

Swallowing down bile he could feel worming its way up his oesophagus and blinking back tears gradually building Blaine snuggled down further under the soft fur. He'd always loved Kurt's bed better than his, granted his was a King size instead of Queen but Kurt's mattress was so much comfier, his covers that little bit thicker in the winter and cooler in the summer months.

He must have drifted off for a few moments because he jolted awake violently as the bed dipped by his feet.

Whimpering Blaine tugged the blanket up over his head entirely, trying to shrink even more in his sleep-addled state, taking a minute to remember exactly where he was when Kurt's hand landed on his side, stroking up and down in a soothing manner.

"Blaine...it's just me."

" 'm sorry."

"Don't be; you're allowed to be jumpy, B."

Slowly, the throw was pulled down to reveal his face, hazel eyes now open and staring ahead, expressionless.

"Blaine, Blaine, c'mon look at me," slowly so as not to startle the boy again Kurt lay down beside him, eyes level with one hand still rubbing at his side. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"Nothing...some dickhead jocks wanted me to go back in the closet and I freaked out a little bit."

Kurt raised an eyebrow in disbelief, hand sliding up from near Blaine's slightly tender hip to cup his jaw, thumb rubbing with purpose under his left eye; just bellow the worst of the bruising causing Blaine to flinch slightly. He managed to stay composed until Kurt leant forward slowly, slowly, until damp, gentle lips pressed along the purple skin that Blaine was now positive was no longer hidden, brushing along the mark before kissing lightly over his closed lid, ending at the far corner, catching a tear as it leaked out.

His breath hitched, hurting his ribs and still sore lungs, as Blaine jolted with the effort to keep silent.

"Don't you dare fucking cry, you worthless piece of crap."

"Anderson men do not cry."

Strong, familiar arms folded themselves around his shoulders, wrapping him up tight enough to feel held together but careful enough that none of his injuries were aggravated.

"It's okay Blaine; it'll be okay...I promise."

Breathe Blaine, c'mon it's not that hard, all living creature respire without thinking about. NOW FUCKING BREATHE.

Sobs wracked his frame, rattling his already battered bones so that he clutched desperately at the front of Kurt's hoodie with one hand and his abdominals with the other, like he was trying to rip the pain out of his body.

Kurt pressed his lips against his hairline, keeping them there so his words were spoken into Blaine's skin, hands pressing him closer the whole time.

He wasn't sure how long it took him to calm down again, at least to the point where it didn't feel like he would slip back down the rabbit hole head first, smack-bang back into the panic he feared he'd never get away from. Those smoke-black fingers would always be there, grabbing at his heals.

It's never going to end.

"What's never going to end?"

Blinking, Blaine looked up to see Kurt's wide sea-green eyes locked on his, more specifically locked onto his eye that still felt swollen despite the hours he spent icing it while he tried (failed) to sleep. He must have said it out loud, mumbled into the soft cotton of the t-shirt peeking out of the V left by the half zipped jacket.

"Blaine, what's never going to end?"

Shaking his head he ducked back down to bury his face into his ex-boyfriend's chest, reveling in the feeling of being held so lovingly; it wasn't going to last so why shouldn't he indulge in the small bit of comfort he was never going to get from Kurt again?

Quiet hushing and soothing sounds broke into his mind, bringing with it the awareness of his own repeated, slightly frantic mumbling of "no, no, no, can't - I can't, please don't make me."

"It's okay, no one's going to make you do anything, baby."

"I don't...you'll get hurt too."

Kurt frowned; the other boy didn't seem to be aware of half of what he was saying. "I won't."

"Don't want you to get hurt again 'cause of me." Blaine's face was firmly pressed into his torso, forehead just above his heart, so that he couldn't lay eyes on his bruised and battered one. Just thinking about how...freshit looked cause his shoulders to tense in rage.

A small, cut off whimper dragged his attention back to the boy in his bed. Pulling back far enough that he could see Blaine clearer, he glanced down to see Blaine's face screwed up in pain, lips bitten harshly and breathing heavily through his nose.

"B..."

"Hurts."

Reaching behind himself quickly Kurt grabbed the bottle of water and packet of painkillers from his nightstand. "Sit up for a moment honey," Moving slowly so as not to make anything worse Kurt help lift Blaine into a slumped but upright position, so he could swallow down some of the pills.

He shifted back a few inches, resting against his pillows and headboard, moving Blaine with him, back to his chest with Kurt's arms wrapped around his stomach, Blaine's head tipped back where his neck met collar bone.

They stayed silent for close to an hour, Blaine's breathing eventually evened out so that he no longer sounded winded with every inhale. He was beginning to think the boy had slipped into another uneasy sleep when he spoke.

"I'm sorry."

"Why on Earth would you be sorry?"

"We're not....you shouldn't have to deal with this."

The frown on Kurt's face deepened, eyes shining with unshed tears over how hollow,lost, the senior sounded. "Blaine..." his voice sounded strangled, clearing it he tried again, "you're my best friend,"I still love you more than anything,"this isn't something I'm 'dealing with'; Iwantto help you."

Taking a deep breath when Blaine shifted awkwardly between his legs, remaining silent, Kurt pushed on. "Something else is going on, don't tell me it's nothing because what happened? That wasnota normal reaction to being locked in a janitor's closet." He paused to run his fingers though Blaine's destroyed hair, trying to put some form of order back into the curls he adored but were hated by the boy in his arms. "Getting angry, yelling for help sure, but Blaine I thought you...you fucking terrified me today, you were trying to scream but nothing was happening because you just, youstopped fucking breathingand you passed out and cracked your head on the floor before I could grab you."

Sighing, Kurt scrubbed one hand over his face, gripping at his hair before it returned to playing with the curls he'd missed so much. Another deep, fortifying breath.

"Something happened to do that to you; to make you that scared and I just, Ineedto know what because how am I supposed to protect you if I don't know what's trying to brake you in the first place?"

Blaine's eyes were leaking slowly with tears again, scaring tracks down his sweat-damp cheeks, bleeding into Kurt's neck from where Blaine's head rested on his skin. "You don't have to protect me from anything."

"Yes, yes I do, I told you I'd never let anything else happen to you, remember? The night before Junior Prom."

Blaine had been so nervous that night, worried over reliving the horror of his Sadie Hawkins experience, having it happen to Kurt, so worried about hiding his fear from everyone that he couldn't hide it from his boyfriend. In the end Kurt had stopped his jerky pacing in his bedroom before they left for the school by grabbing his jaw and kissing him until he felt Blaine's body melt into his own,"I won't let anyone touch you; they won't get near you tonight. I promise."

Clearly he'd failed because someone was hurting him. From getting his, whatever Blaine was to him now, up to his room from the truck Kurt had noticed the markings on his face, the half-conscious winces and whimpers when a certain body part moved in a particular manner. Waiting until Blaine was passed out on the bed, eyes darting from under his lids, Kurt had carefully removed all traces of foundation and cover-up on the boys face, revealing a thick, angry black and purple ring around his left eye, light bruising along his jaw.

Someone hadbeatenBlaine long before he'd got to school and been thrown into a pitch black room to be consumed by fear and panic.

"S'differen' now."

Staying quiet for moment Kurt stared at the love of his life in disbelief, because that's what Blaine was, the love of his life, the man he was meant to be with.Soulmates.Everything with Adam had just proved it to him - Blaine was it for him; they could work everything out. Because high school relationships don't last forever, and maybe that's what they were before, but they're anything but high school kids now, if they ever were to start with.

Clearly he stayed silent a beat too long because Blaine looked down, moving slow as if he was making to get up and leave. Kurt snapped back into action, arms snaking around his waist again, squeezing gently and burying his head inBlaine's curls.

"No, no it's not."

"What?"

"It's not different."

"I don't, what are you saying?"

"I love you."

Blaine stiffened momentarily, turning it over and over in his head just like he did the first time Kurt had told him he was proud of him; like it was a foreign concept that he'd never heard before.

"I never stopped and I'm beginning to realise that I never will, and I don't want to either. So yeah, it is my job to protect you Blaine, because I can't handle the thought of you breaking and not being there." Blaine was still tense, he relaxed just enough to slump back into the cradle of Kurt's arms but he was still coiled tight.

"Please, please let me help you."

"It was my dad, he's been h-hitting me si-since I was s-six." The whispered admission felt like he'd just been socked in the stomach; Blaine sounded so broken, so done, like all the fight abandoned him because he was suddenly crying again, curling back into the other boy's body, letting Kurt turn him to sit sideways in his lap and rock him gently.

They ended up lying back down, the throw tangled around their calves as they lay nose-to-nose, Blaine still crying but no longer gasping for air.

Tracing over the younger boy's face, Kurt bit lip hesitantly. "What about the closet?"

Swallowing, Blaine's eyes dropped from his, focussing somewhere near the collar of his t-shirt instead of on his eyes. "When I came out...he um, he grabbed me by the neck an-and dragged me to the closet by the kitchen - said I should've, should've stayed in it. I was there for four hours the first time."

"The first time..." Blinking Kurt had to fight to urge to hunt down the Andersons as Blaine's words ran wild in his mind, sinking in with a feeling of dread. "Does he do this often?"

Blaine still wouldn't look at him but he nodded, shrugging like it was no big deal. "Only if he's really angry with me." Frowning he shivered slightly, "I don't like it, it's worse than the beatings," shuffling closer he muttered into Kurt's collar bone, "I looked it up. Apparently I have all the symptoms of Claustrophobia...and a few others on top of that too. Did you know that it's an irrational fear? I don't have a reason to be scared but it, it feels like I'm dying every time."

Kurt was shaking his head before Blaine even trailed off, lips pursed in thought. "Your fear is anything but irrational Blaine; it's triggered. You have more than enough reasons to be scared of being trapped, don't ever let anyone tell you that you have no reason to be frightened."

"All the websites say it though." He burrowed a few centimeters closer, sighing when Kurt tightened his arms around him in response.

"Fuck the websites." He pressed a firm kiss to the creases in Blaine's forehead, "I'll do everything I can to make sure it never happens again."

"You're only home for the weekend Kurt, you can't guarantee that...I only have to last another few months til I graduate and then I can leave. I can last that long."

"You shouldn't have to 'last' til graduation honey, you had a panic attack that could've ended really badly if Marley and Britt hadn't walked past when they did. I can't lose you, I won't, not again."

Knowing that this was more than enough for now Kurt gathered the other boy back into his arms, tracing butterfly kisses over his face, focussing on the bruises marring his beautiful tan skin. He'd talk to his dad and Finn as soon as they each got home from work; there was no way in hell he was letting Blaine set foot back in a house with that man, (he wasn't a fucking man), ever again if he had his way.

"I'm never saying goodbye to you Blaine Anderson."