Aug. 25, 2014, 7 p.m.
Rehab: Chapter 9: Can't Have You
M - Words: 1,438 - Last Updated: Aug 25, 2014 Story: Closed - Chapters: 15/? - Created: Oct 13, 2013 - Updated: Oct 13, 2013 159 0 0 0 0
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And thank you to my beta, Sav, for editing this chapter super lightning fast! And thanks to all of you for sticking with me even though it took me a while to update!
Blaine didn't get to sleep until late at night. He slept in until eleven AM and he would have continued sleeping if it wasn't for Izzy’s loudness, banging on his door. He groaned and sat up. He put on some sweats and slippers and tried to put his contacts in, but was too tired and he kept missing. He sighed and slipped his glass on. Walking down the hallway, he saw an aggravated Izzy standing there.When she noticed him she laughed out loud. Blaine crossed his arms, trying to be angry with the laughing girl but eventually joined her. They linked arms and make their way to the cafeteria.
Blaine sat while Izzy got both of them plates of food. When she came back, she gave Blaine the biggest cup of coffee they offered. He thanked her, took a sip of his coffee, and ate a bite of his pancakes. After they ate, they both went their separate ways. The weekend passed by in a flash for Kurt, Blaine, and Izzy, and before they knew it, it was Monday afternoon.
Kurt was busy rehearsing so Blaine didn't hear from him much. Blaine walked into Dr. Webb’s office to see her normal smiling face.
“Ahhh, Blaine. Come in!” She welcomed. Blaine smiled slightly and sat down in the chair across from her.
“So how are you, Blaine? I haven't seen you since Friday! Did you like your first family visit?”
“I loved it. It was really nice seeing Kurt again.”
“He was a lovely person. I really enjoyed meeting him in person.”
“Everyone does.”
“So I want you to tell me about Kurt and your’s first year of knowing each other.” Blaine looked a little confused, but started talking anyway... he could talk about Kurt for hours.
“I met him on the Dalton Academy staircase, and I never met anyone like him. I knew he was different from the moment I met him. When I got to know him more, I just fell for him... but he had been going through a lot and I didn't want my feelings to overwhelm him so I tried my hardest to get over him. That obviously didn't work.
“A couple weeks before Valentines day I met a guy named Jeremiah, he was nice, and even though he wasn't Kurt, he was still an okay guy. So I set up a 'Gap Attack' as Kurt likes to call it, I sang to Jeremiah and got declined saying that he couldn’t date me. I thank my lucky stars for that everyday, because if it wasn’t for that, I might have never have been with my soulmate. Kurt later confessed his feelings about me but we didn’t get together right away.
“I didn’t want to ruin what we had going on, I knew it was something special, but a few weeks later, when I saw Kurt singing Blackbird by the Beadles, I couldn’t hold my feelings in anymore, it was like, if I didn’t tell him I might just explode. So I told him and I kissed him for the first time, but the funny thing is, every time I kiss him, it’s like the first time all over again, I don’t think we’ll ever lose that…” He pauses to try and find the right word. “... spark, and I know that sounds cliche but I don’t care. Anyway, we dated you know like normal teenagers do, I’ll never forget when I told him I loved him, I was going to do a big romantic gesture, but when I was looking at him in a coffee shop, and I couldn’t hold it in any longer, but the thing that was even better he said it back. I probably told him I loved him like a billion times in that day. In mine and Kurt’s senior year, I transferred to Mckinley and the rest is history.”
“That was a beautiful story. How did you feel the first year?”
“Like I was on cloud nine.”
“How have you felt the last year of your relationship?”
“Like complete shit.”
“So in the first year without alcohol you were on cloud nine, and the last year with alcohol was shit, do you see how alcohol is not a problem solver rather a problem creator.”
Blaine stays silent, he just gently nods his head.
“So we are going to do an activity, it is very obvious that Kurt is important to you, what if I were to tell you that you could have any guy in the world, except Kurt?” Blaine opens his mouth to respond but Dr. Webb shakes her head to shush him. “Both you and Kurt have told me that songwriting is when you express yourself the most, so I want you to write song lyrics describing how you felt when I told you that.” Blaine nods, takes the notebook and pen Dr. Webb offered then started writing.
It took Blaine about 2 hours to finish the song. When he was done he handed it to her, she took a quick look over it and nodded.
“Ok Blaine, we have about 15 minutes left, so let’s go over this. What does the line, You warned me that you were gonna leave, I never thought you would really go mean?”
“Kurt would often tell me that if I didn’t get help he would leave me, but I never believed him, I thought that he was just bluffing, but he did leave, and I wish I would have listened to him when he warned me.”
Dr. Webb nods, “Ok, next line. What does I was blind but baby now I see Broke your heart but now I know That I was bein' such a fool and that I didn't deserve you mean?”
“I was blind, the alcohol did that to me, it clouded my judgment, made me do things I would never do unless I had alcohol in my system. Like hitting and cheating on Kurt. But without alcohol in me, I see that I really hurt Kurt and broke his heart, I was just being a fool and Kurt deserves better than that, and that’s why I am going to do everything I can to be the man Kurt deserves.”
“What does I don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I don't know if I'll get up And I don't wanna cause a scene But I'm dyin' without your love mean?”
“I don’t want to go to sleep without his arms around him. I just feel like I’m dying without his love.”
“Very good, what does Begging to hear your voice Tell me you love me too 'Cause I'd rather just be alone If I know that I can't have you mean?”
“I just want to hear his voice telling me he loves me, and I would just rather be alone if I couldn’t have him.”
“Ahh, that’s what I wanted you to get out today’s session. You chased your dreams, you know that the key to success is to never give up, and you need to never give up on Kurt, he really brings out the best in you, and I think he is the key to make you stay alcohol free.”
“I will never give up on him. I love him too much.”
“That’s good to hear. Let’s talk about what I heard on Friday. You hit Kurt?” Blaine nods, guilt flooding his eyes. “Ok Blaine, I know you are drunk and I can tell you are very sorry about that, I am going to require you to go to anger management that The Recovery Place offers, the man who hit Kurt and the man sitting in front of me are obviously two very different people, and I don’t think you would ever do that again. But I want to make sure it never happens again, I’m not doing this to punish you, rather, I’m doing it to help you. Do you understand?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Good, here is all the information you will need.” She said while handing him a paper, she rips the song out of the notebook and also hands that to him. “I trust you will do good things with this song, you’re dismissed, see you tomorrow Blaine.”
“Thank you Dr. Webb, see you later.” Blaine offers a small smile and wave and is gone.
Later that night Blaine tells Kurt about anger management, Kurt is a little annoyed about it because he feels that Blaine doesn’t need it. But he knows that it will benefit Blaine. They talk until the early hours of the morning.