Chapter 13.

The cold evening air hit his face and clung to his body. He shivered and pulled up his collar. Kurt took in a nervous breath as he walked down the street and towards the town centre. A smile lightened up his features as he saw the familiar dark hair and short figure of his boyfriend.
"Waiting for someone?" he voiced and gave Blaine a smile when he turned and said, “For my handsome and tall boyfriend, maybe you know him." Blaine chuckled and slipped his hands around Kurt's waist.
"Hmm, I might. What does he look like?"
"Well...about your height, the same extraordinary pools of eyes and lips that are just begging to be kissed." Blaine explained and softly brushed his lips against Kurt's, who couldn’t help but let out a longing sigh.
"You seem to have found him." Kurt mumbled before he pressed a kiss on Blaine's lips.

Blaine couldn’t hold himself back any longer and closed the space between himself and Kurt even more and deepened the kiss. When he raised his arms to twine his fingers into Kurt's hair, he felt himself being pushed away swiftly, yet ever so gentle and looked at Kurt in confusion.
"Not here." Kurt whispered and looked around. Blaine nodded but bit the inside of his cheek trying to push away the feeling that formed in the pit of his stomach. Even though he knew that it wasn't the case he couldn't help but feel like Kurt was embarrassed to be seen with him.

The feeling quickly changed when he felt how Kurt pressed another light kiss on his temple and whispered a compliment in his ear before he dragged him along. "Any suggestions as to where we should go, Mr. Anderson?" Kurt smiled.
Blaine shrugged "You tell me. Where is it safe for you to be with me, without being seen...” He hadn’t meant to sound so bitter but he couldn't help the tone in his voice.
It hadn't gone unnoticed by Kurt who stopped, turned fully to Blaine and grabbed his hands. "Hey. It's not a matter of not wanting to be seen with you. I'm proud to be with someone like you", Kurt said as he stroked the back of Blaine's hands with his thumb. "It's just that people in this town judge, Blaine. You'll notice soon enough…I know, I've lived here my whole life."
"Maybe you don't give them enough credit," Blaine shrugged before forcing on a smile, "doesn't matter though, as long as we get to be together."
Kurt smiled back but could sense that Blaine was still troubled by the whole situation. He bit his lip for a second, not sure what was the right thing to do at this precise moment.

Eventually Kurt decided to take Blaine to "The red lobster", it wasn't really a good tavern but it was one that was open the whole night long and where he knew no questions would be asked, neither would people blab. It was one of those places where people brought girlfriends they didn't want to be seen with or were having an affair with, people you'd want to dump and so on. He'd only found out about this place after Puck had told them a story about an awkward event that had happened the last time he'd gone there.

He felt quite guilty having taken Blaine there with him but it was the safest option for them to be, for now.
"Weren't you and Santana supposed to be hooking up tonight or something?" Blaine teased him.
"Urgh yeah, her parents are out of town and everyone kept saying how tonight should be the night. It drove me insane" Kurt sighed and placed his hands on the table and stared at his nails.
"So....is she a good kisser?" Blaine's teasing tone had disappeared, he wasn't good at hiding his opinion on all this. Kurt winked, “Not as good as you but she could teach you a few tricks."
Blaine raised an eyebrow at Kurt "How about you teach me?". Kurt chuckled before he pulled in his boyfriend for a kiss he'd been dying to give him all evening and finally felt free enough to give.

"For a lesbian, she's a good kisser." Blaine gasped, his cheeks flushed. Kurt laughed and planted another peck on Blaine's lips before he leant back in his own seat. "I think that was all me though." Kurt smiled.
"Then you've been holding back on me before."
Kurt paused as he heard the little bell on the door announce a new customer entering, his eyes diverted to the door in a flash to see if he recognized the person or not before he answered Blaine " I wouldn't dare."

Blaine didn’t reply and Kurt felt a tightening panic in his chest form as he knew it must've hurt Blaine's feelings. "Would you rather do this behind closed doors Kurt?" Blaine snapped, losing his patience. He couldn't control his tone any longer, "I mean if you rather have me chase my mum out the door so we can have some time together, just let me know!"
"Blaine, please, that's not it."
"Oh isn't it?!"
"No, not at all." Kurt defended himself but he was lost for words and deep inside he knew Blaine was kind of right. He wasn’t embarrassed to be with Blaine, he loved Blaine, he just couldn’t be seen with him.
"Then why are you so worried about being seen in public with me?"
"Blaine, I told you, you don't understand." Kurt sighed and felt desperation fill him.
"Oh! I understand! Don't you think I didn't have any of this shit where I came from?"
Kurt shrugged and mumbled something that sounded like an apology. Blaine felt like slapping Kurt, instead he said, “You know what, save it! I'm not even angry at you. I'm just annoyed at myself for being so stupid!" Kurt looked up with pleading eyes, the feeling Blaine might break up with him had taken over, his stomach was in knots and he felt sick. Blaine sighed, “From the beginning I knew the situation, and I've been telling myself I was okay with it but clearly I'm not, I just...", another sigh.
"Are you breaking up with me?" Kurt whispered, the words came out choked and he felt fresh tears form in his eyes.

Blaine took in a breath, opened his mouth and closed it again, as if he was looking for the right words. Then let out a deep sigh. "No," Kurt looked at him surprised, the knot in his stomach loosened a bit, "Like I said, I knew the situation from the beginning. I just need to learn to live with it." Blaine sighed and his voice broke a little bit near the end.

Kurt bit his lip before he answered, "Blaine...I never meant to hurt you like this. I love you. I hate seeing you in pain. I'm sorry". Blaine looked up in a swift movement and Kurt could still see a faint hint of the hurt that was in Blaine's eyes before surprise had taken over, "What did you just say?" a faint smile played on Blaine’s lips.
“I’m sorry?”
“No, before that.”
Kurt looked for the words before he smiled himself and repeated those three little words that he'd always thought but never had said out loud before, until today "I love you."
Blaine's smile grew wider and his hands reached across the table to grab Kurt's, "I love you too", he whispered before he leant in and kissed Kurt.

Blaine couldn’t believe what he just heard. Kurt hard said those words. He had actually said them. And Blaine felt like he could finally say them too. Something inside him was glowing and he’d never been so sure before that Kurt would finally break up with Santana. He had to, right? After saying those words?

Kurt felt like he was on cloud nine, when he walked back to Santana’s house. That feeling of bliss quickly disappeared when he saw a fuming Santana wait for him on the stairs. Oh dear.
“Where exactly have you been!” she hissed, her eyes angry.
If looks could kill..., he thought but said instead, “Out. I needed some fresh air.”
“For two and a half hours?!” she yelled.
Kurt looked at his hands, he wished it could have been even longer, “San,…”
“Kurt, where did you go? And who were you with?”
Kurt’s head snapped up, did she know?, “No one okay! Geez, don’t you see this whole thing is hard on me? And you can’t fool me! I know it’s hard on you too! This might’ve been a good idea in the beginning but look at us. LOOK at us, San.” He sounded desperate.

Santana looked at him with glistening eyes and he wondered if he’d gone too far, but he hadn’t been able to stop himself. It was all weighing heavy on him because he loved Blaine and all he wanted was to be with him. If that ended up in him getting second glances and what have you, then he’d take it. He had realized that it didn’t matter because in the end he’d still have Blaine. But he was surprised when Santana let out a choked sob, “Are you…are you? Kurt, I can’t. My family, Brit…”, she shook her head, “I can’t.”
He realized Santana wasn’t there yet. He sat down next to her and wrapped his arms around her. He sighed, “No I’m not. Don’t worry.”

There they were once again, stuck in their lies, prisoners of love. Love they didn’t allow themselves to show to others, love they wanted to have but, because of their deal, was impossible to have.
“Don’t worry San, I’ve got your back” he whispered and felt something inside him break. She kissed his cheek in response, “Just promise me something.”
“What?” she asked.
“Talk to Brittany.”