The alarm goes off, announcing a new day. I groan, not wanting to get up again. The last few days were horrible. Blaine was annoying the hell out of me. He wasn’t doing anything too obvious, just little comments about anything I did, how I looked, and so on.

                   “Nice shirt, Hummel!”

                        “Talked to yourself again, lately?”

                                   “Someone help Kurt dissect his frog, wouldn’t want him to faint.”

He is so annoying.

I turn around in bed, pulling the covers over my head a little bit more. Why can’t I just sleep forever? My phone beeps and I groan knowing it’s Rachel. She’s as annoying as chewing gum sticking to your shoe but that’s also the reason why I love her so much. I know she’ll stick with me ‘till the end.

7.45 – Rachel

‘Get up, Kurt!!! Audition day today!! You’ll nail this!!!!”

Judging by the amount of exclamation marks, she’s excited. I, however, am nervous, I feel sick and I really don’t want to go.

8.00 - Rachel

“Don’t be nervous! :D and stop complaining about how you don’t want to do this!”

I smile. Swinging my legs out of bed, slowly getting dressed. I open the fridge. Empty. I sigh, that means spending more of my savings on food. I close the fridge again, I don’t feel like eating anything at the moment, anyway. I’m too nervous. I make a mental note that I should buy food after school and that I should start looking for a job again. My last job had provided me with enough money to last for a while on my own again. I was really disappointed when they had told me that they didn’t need students anymore to work there. Ugh, so many things to do, and so much stuff on my mind, I definitely don’t feel like going to school now.

-

I see Rachel already waiting for me at my locker. “Rachel?” I question as she’s beaming the moment I reach her.

“How’re you feeling?” she looks a bit concerned, “you’re looking unusually pale.”

“I feel sick. I don’t want to do this.” I shake my head.

“Kurt, you’ll be AMAZING. And guess what...I had a look at the audition schedule. You are performingbefore the new guy. This is perfect! You have all the advantages! You can blow them away and amaze them so much that they’ve already made up their mind by the time Blaine has to perform.”

“Rach, how did you even...?”

“Doesn’t matter,” she urges, “it just means you have to kill your audition!”

“Rachel please, don’t put even more pressure on me. Besides when’s yours?” I quickly change the subject.

“Mine’s tomorrow.” She stops and her eyes divert to the side. I don’t even have to follow her gaze, judging by her look it doesn’t take a genius to figure out who it is. “He’s so smug.” She hisses as Blaine passes us. I smile, I love how she shares my opinion on this.

“I know.” I don’t add that he also scares and intimidates me.

--

I brush my sweaty palms against my trousers, I am feeling really nervous. My breathing is uneven –not the best thing when you’re about to do a singing audition. My heart is bouncing in my throat and I feel sick.

“Kurt?” I hear Gina call and I feel any courage I had left sink to the bottom. My heart jumps and skips a beat and I turn, if possible, even paler. I take in a deep breath and walk on stage. It’s nice that Gina didn’t allow anyone to come and watch the auditions, that way I don’t need to worry about others, competition and even him judging me. From the moment I set foot on stage and find my way to the mark, I already feel better.

Every doubt in my mind, every nervous feeling I had, everything I worried about just disappears the moment I’m on that stage. It feels like I belong here. In my opinion one of the best feelings a human being can experience is being on stage. To me it feels like home. All the worries fall off my shoulders and I smile; no more pretending. Not now.

“I’m Kurt, I’m auditioning for the part of Tony and I’ll be singing ‘As if we never said goodbye’ by ‘Barbra Streisand’.” In that instant moment that I produce the first notes, I feel free.

“Thank you Kurt.” Gina says when I finish. I’m panting but I feel pleased with my performance, I gave it my all. I come out of the auditorium and feel Rachel pounce me, throwing her arms around my neck.

“You were amazing Kurt! I’m so proud of you!”

“How did you...” I say surprised.

“Oh, I watched from those upper tiers. You know the ones where the lighting guys usually sit,” she smiles, proud of her own genius idea, “I didn’t want to miss your performance!”

“Why am I still amazed when you say stuff like that?” I laugh.

“You should know me by now.” She shrugs, “but,” she clasps my arms, “come on! Let’s go and celebrate!”

“I...er...you know what. You go already...I...er...I have some things to do first and I’ll join you and Finn after.”

Rachel raises an eyebrow, she doesn’t seem convinced but I just smile and eventually she nods “fine. We’ll see you later then?”

“Yeah!” Truth is, part of me wants her to join me in what I’m going to do next but the other part wants to do this on my own.