Her way of making it up consisted of lots of ice cream, doing some proper singing your heart out and watching Disney movies; my kind of night. She knows me so well. Which is why, one week later, I’m really wondering why on earth she thought that sitting in a shop, watching her put on prom dress after prom dress, is my idea of a fun Sunday. It’s not because I’m gay I automatically like being in a clothes shop! Okay....I DO but only if that means I can actually wear the clothes in that shop, myself. What on earth would I be doing with a prom dress?! I hear a chuckle in my head, Blaine’s chuckle, followed with a cheeky remark ‘Don’t lie. I know you want to try one on and I bet you’d pull it off, too.’ I push the voice back to one of the corners of my mind and swallow. I had not seen that coming. I thought I was doing well, that I was doing better. Now I’m hearing voices?

“Kurt? What’s wrong?” Rachel asks, making me snap out of my train of thoughts.

“Nothing.” I say, putting on a fake smile.

“Don’t.you.lie.to.me.” She says, punching me every word she utters.

“Ouch Rachel, you’re hurting me!” I grab her hands and look at her as if she’s a mad woman, which sometimes I really think she is, “Geez, have you completely lost it or what?”

“I can see it when you’re lying. Besides your face is so pale, it’s giving you away. You look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

More like I heard one, I think. I sigh. “Blaine.” That’s all it needs.

One syllable.
One word.
One name.

She looks at me for a moment before closing the space between us and wrapping her arms around me. I sigh in frustration, resting my head on her shoulder and my hands holding onto her. “It’s been over a month now and I only seem to be getting worse.”

“Honest truth or a lie?” she asks me, holding me at arm’s length.

I’d prefer a lie but then again if I’d tell her that, I would know she’s lying and that’s not reassuring either. I guess I’ll have to face the truth at some point anyway. “Spill.” I sigh, preparing myself.

“Kurt..., Blaine’s your soul mate. Whether you like it or not you can’t just ban him out your life. You two belong to each other. He needs you just as much as you need him. How long will it take you to figure that out?”

I wish I had opted for the lie, instead. “You make it sounds so easy,” I sigh, “but we both know it isn’t.”

“Only ‘cause you choose to make it complicated.” Rachel raises an eyebrow.

“Sure.” I shrug, “I like this dress.” I say changing the topic. Rachel’s face goes from a ‘don’t-you-change-the-subject’ kind of look to a ‘we’re-not-done-talking-about-this-yet’ one in merely seconds. I ignore her and continue, “But I think it’s not the perfect one yet.” Pushing her back in the changing room and grabbing a dress off the rack -one I’ve had my eye on for her since we entered the shop- and hand it to her, “Here. Try this one.”

I sit back down and try to ignore everything Rachel just said to me. I’m trying to forget about him. Seeing him at school every day and her telling me stuff like this, isn’t actually helping. I snap back to reality when I hear Rachel screech excitedly, run out of the booth and hug me in excitement. “I love you! Have I told you that yet?! I love you!”

She’s been a big blur of colours and silk but from what I had seen, she looked gorgeous. I don’t want to think about the price of the dress though. I feel grateful that I’m not the one paying for it. She lets go of me, eventually, takes a step back and makes a little twirl. “You look amazing.” I admit.

“Like it?”

“Love it.” I nod, “Finn won’t know what’ll happen to him. Too bad I won’t get to see his face.” I chuckle, imagining how a combination of his clumsiness with him being nervous would be like.

“What?! Why?” she looks shocked.

“Oi genius, I’m not going to the dance. I don’t have anyone to go with. I’m not going on my own. Besides...Blaine will be there...I don’t want to-“

“No. He’s not.” Rachel says.

I frown. “How do you know?”

“He told me.” She says. I swallow back the bitter feeling I have. I shouldn’t be jealous but Rachel is my friend and Blaine is kind of my...uhm...well, since I’m not speaking to him anymore, is it bad that I’m just kind of expecting her to pick my side? She grabs my hands “Kurt, don’t give me that look. You’ll always be my best friend. I just saw Blaine in town last week and he had bought a bowtie and I just asked him if it was for the dance.” She explains, I swallow at the mention of a bowtie. “He’s not coming.”

“Neither am I.” I cross my arms, trying to make a point.

“That’s where you’re wrong! Come with me and Finn? It’ll be fun! I promise you!!”

“Mhm.” I’m not convinced. Not at all. I don’t see the fun in being the third wheel to Finchel. Neither do I see fun in dancing on my own on some lame music or a second class live band. And even less do I look forward to the looks people will be giving me, just like they always do.

“Please?” Rachel begs, “Please, please, please, please, please, please, please.” she shakes my shoulders.

“Rach.” I sigh.

“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase. You know I won’t stop.” She says, and I know well enough that she’s right. She won’t give in until I do.

“Fine.” I sigh, “but if I don’t like it, I’ll be going back home!”

“EEEEEEEEEP!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!” she squeezes me into another tight hug, “You will NOT regret this, Kurt!”

“We’ll see.” I mumble.