“You did good Anderson.” I smile, stepping on stage. He stops and turns to me, his face perplexed. He doesn’t seem very at ease, “You know...at first I was contemplating pushing you off the stairs so I could do the lead but you made me change my mind.” I laugh nervously.

He looks at me, I feel my heart skip a beat when we make eye contact. “I’m glad.” He smiles, his voice sounding nervous, too.

We stare at each other, none of us saying anything. I notice him picking his shirt, something he does when he is nervous. I feel nervous myself, for the first time since we've become friends, I feel uncomfortable around him.  I take a deep breath in, but he interrupts me right at the moment I want to talk to him.

“Kurt, you were amazing too.” He whispers, “I’m proud of you.” I smile at his kind words, “you could never be better than me though.” He chuckles, making me roll my eyes but I feel relieved, the awkwardness has disappeared and it feels like before.

However, it doesn’t last long and I feel torn as I remember his words. “So...I guess this is where our paths part.” I sigh, I don’t want it to be. I don’t even know why I brought it up. I guess...closure...

“Kurt...I...” he grabs my hand, I hold my breath, my eyes measuring his every move. “What I said on Monday...”

“Please don’t repeat it. It was hard enough hearing it then.” I whisper, still hurt.

“No,” shaking his head, “What I said on Monday...that was a mistake. I want to be with you, Kurt.” He says, making me gasp. Before I can utter anything else, he’s kissing me. His lips soft on mine. My breath hatches in my throat as our lips mend together. His kiss dominant, wanting more. His lips taste salty, feeling soft against mine, moving together with mine perfectly. I try to catch my breath, following his lead. I throw my arms around his neck, pulling him in closer, our lips parting. The touch of his fingertips burning my skin, a soft moan leaves my lips. Our foreheads resting against each other as we break apart.

“You take my breath away.” I say my breath uneven, slightly panting. I want more. I want to claim his lips again. I want to kiss him every minute of every day

“Kurt...” his breath is uneven, too. I smile. “I need to tell you something.” He swallows and I start to feel nervous. “Can we..can we go to your place?” he whispers.

I stare at him, mesmerized, and nod. “Sure.” I smile.

-

“There we are.” I say, opening the door. He walks in, letting go off my hand. It feels like a big loss, all the way long he’d hold my hand, it had felt really nice. We chatted about the musical on the way to my place but now the atmosphere is tense. “Do you want something to drink?” I ask, hesitantly.

“No, I’m fine.” He says, looking around.

I sit down on my bed, crossing my legs. “So...you wanted to talk about something?” I start.

“Yes...er...,” he sighs, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry about Monday. I...er,” he runs his fingers through his hair nervously, “Kurt, do you remember that thing you said that day in the coffee shop? You know, when you said that you don’t know how to feel worth something when you’re told about ten times a day that you’re not?”

I nod and wait in silence for him to go on.

“When you said those things, I knew exactly what you meant. I, argh, I...this isn’t easy.” He mumbles, his face vulnerable.

“You don’t have to tell me.” I say, noticing how he’s struggling.

“No. I want to.” He crawls on the bed next to me, our faces inches apart. I hold my breath, my eyes focussing on his lips for a brief second. I remember their taste, their touch, their softness and wonder if I could have it again. He sighs. “All my life people have let me down. You know when you’re like in this dark hole? And you’re kind of waiting for someone to pull you out...but like...then that person ends up hurting you even more and you just fall back down.” I look at him and realize that I’ve been stupid; naive to believe that I was the only broken person out there. He reaches for my hand, I meet it halfway.

I remember what had happened on Monday.

“You can trust me.”

“That’s what they all said.”

“That’s what they all said?” I ask, quoting him.

He looks at me tormented. “You and I aren’t so different. Your mum abused you. I...er...my...”

“Your mum, too?” I murmur.

He shakes his head. “My dad.” He swallows, “My mum left when she couldn’t take it anymore. The bruises, the pain, the fear, she just forgot to take me with her...I guess that she thought he wouldn’t hurt me because he hadn’t before. And he didn’t for a while, not really. Well...maybe that’s because the ones I remember now are much worse than those first few beatings I received.” He pauses and I feel my stomach churn. This was horrible. “I was able to cope with it, you know, nothing I couldn’t handle. One day he saw me...with a guy. I think at that moment he thought he could beat the gay out of me.”

“That’s horrible.” I gasp.

“Eventually, it came out and my grandparents took me in. I haven’t seen my dad since then.  Months passed but I was still waiting for someone to save me, I was still a mess...and so he came...Ben,” he explains, “he saved me. He made life bearable, I trusted him and...uhm...I finally got my life back together.” He starts playing with my fingers and I smile a little. I can only imagine how awful it must be. I wait for him to go on. “He cheated on me. I don’t even know why I was so surprised about it back then. I don’t know why though...every person I had ever trusted before had let me down. So, I don’t know why I had expected him to be different.”

“Is that what you meant with ‘That’s what they all said.’?” I say in a low voice. He looks at me and nods, “Blaine, I’m so sorry.” I grab his other hand, too, rubbing the back with my thumb.

“How do you do it? How do you stop being scared?” he mumbles, hurt.

“I honestly don’t know.” I admit.

“Kurt, I like you. I want to be with you. I’ve tried the other way and it didn’t work. It made me feel even more miserable than I was feeling before.” He says. I look up at him, an intense moment of eye contact before I feel his lips on mine again. I throw my arms around his neck, getting caught up in the moment. Feeling myself get worked up, my heart racing, when he softly pushes me down.

--

“I should go home.” He sighs. I turn my head to the side, meeting his gaze. We’re lying next to each other on my  bed, our fingers entwined. He brushes a strand of hair out of my face.

“Do you have to?” I whisper. We share an intense moment of eye contact. I smile, thinking about our little kissing session we had. My lips are sore and swollen and I feel the skin of my chin itch a little bit: stubble rash. “You’ll need a shave.” I tell him, my fingertip stroking his chin.

He chuckles. “I’ll do that.” He slowly gets up, “Kurt...Are we...”

I nod. Of course we’re okay. We share one last kiss before he leaves. I sigh in content. Best night ever!