Sunday morning, I’m not especially fond of these. They announce the beginning of the end of the weekend. Usually I’d spend the day in bed or catch up on some more homework. Today is different. Because today I’m going to do, again, what I should’ve done so much sooner.

It’s really foggy outside, a gloomy Sunday morning, something everyone hates. But today it kind of suits. It suits this place. Some people might say it makes it unpleasant but I actually like it. The fog clings to the heavy iron gates, I follow the pebbled road and take in a deep breath. Others would call me crazy but I enjoy being here. It’s calm and peaceful. I leave the path and walk to the little patch of green where I used to spend every Sunday.

“Hi Dad.” I smile weakly, “sorry that I haven’t visited you lately.” I sigh. I feel so bad. I used to come and visit my dad every week. Last year I nearly spent every day here but lately I’d been neglecting him. “I just had so much on my plate lately. I’m really struggling.” I mumble. A bird is singing his song in a nearby tree. I admire it for a minute and smile at my dad, enjoying the moment with him. My face saddens as I see the state he’s in. “Oh Dad, look at you. I’m so sorry.” I brush the moss off his gravestone and take the old flowers out of the vase. I make a mental note to bring fresh ones next time I come here.

I take off my bag and take out the plaid I’ve brought with me. I place it on the damp floor and sit on it, facing my father’s grave. “Everything’s such a mess.” I gasp, resting my head in my hands, “I still feel...worthless.” I sigh.

“You see, there’s this guy,” I start, “and no it’s not what you think,” I defend, “He’s making my life miserable again. Compared to last year it’s nothing...but I was just hoping that this year would be different than last year, you know.”

“He keeps calling me names, he keeps criticizing me and it’s doing my head in. Every day I struggle to go to school because I know he’ll target me. And as if that’s not bad enough, he’s entered my dreams, Dad!” I yell in frustration, “No! Not like that! That’s not funny!” I snap. I pause for a moment in the silence of the graveyard, and I imagine my dad laughing because of what I said. I picture him sitting in front of me and listening, laughing with me, crying with me. I can feel his presence. “This guy, Blaine’s his name, he’s haunting my dreams. I’m having nightmares about him. I’m not going to get the role of Tony because of him and I already know he’ll ruin the rest of my last year.”

“You know what bothers me the most?” I start again after a long silence, “I actually really think that he and I could get along, if he wasn’t constantly trying to ruin my life. I mean he actually seems like an interesting person, and I’ve heard him sing. I was blown away. I mean he was amazing. It’s just...I just don’t get why he’s being so...mean.”

The bird flies away and it’s completely quiet out here. I feel a soft breeze over my skin and smile. My father is with me, he’ll always be...but I just wish he was still here.

“Shall I sing a song, dad? You know, like I used to do.” And as I ask him some rays of sunshine break through the clouds. I take it as a ‘yes’. I take it as him saying ‘sing me a song, Kurt. Sing like you used to.’

I go stand in front of his grave, my feet spread at shoulders’ width. I place my hands on my abdomen, finding my own breathing. I picture my dad sitting there, front row, beaming up at me, like he used to. I take in a deep breath and start to sing, baring my soul. When I finish....

-

“I’m so tired of waiting.” Rachel sighs moodily eating her lunch, “How long does it take for one to decide on the roles! I mean, it’s simple: Rachel Berry as Maria and Kurt Hummel as Tony!”

“Rachel, breathe.” I laugh, “besides, you know I’m not so sure about who’ll get Tony.”

“Kurt, I don’t want to hear you say that again! If I hear it one more time I will take away your full collection of hats!” she yells, her voice reaching a new pitch and pointing her fork at me.

“Okay, okay,” I say holding my hands up in defence, “please don’t hurt me.” I laugh and others join me in. Rachel rolls her eyes at me.

“You guys need to take this more seriously! Especially you, Kurt!” she slaps my arm.

“I am! I just don’t want to get my hopes up. I’m tired of being disappointed.”

Rachel rolls her eyes at me but I ignore it. After lunch we clean up our table and make our way back to our lockers. Mine is much further down the hall as Rachel’s, I slowly come to a stop as I see a note sticking on it. I pull it off and read what it says:

Dear Kurt,

Please come to the auditorium after school.

X

I turn the piece of paper around but nothing is giving me the slightest idea of who might have sent me this.