Ever been in a room full of people who are your friends, people who love you and who you love too, and yet never felt so lonely and misunderstood as you ever have before?

Ever felt like you’re just a mess and no matter what anyone tells you or whatever you try to tell to yourself, nothing will help?

Ever cried alone in your room because you are confused?

Ever thought of giving up because the fight is just too hard?

Ever got tired of painting masks?

I know I am.

Chapter 1:

I curl up in bed as I struggle to find the willpower to get up. I would much rather stay in bed and never come out again. I've given up the fight with life, it's a struggle every day and I've gotten tired of fighting. Not that anyone cares. Actually that's a lie, some people do care but I feel like it's not worth it.

You see, my head is a constant battlefield, I’ve got the good guys and the bad guys on both sides. Only, contrarily to movies and comic books, in my life the bad guys usually win.

I know I can't skip another day at school, I've already called in sick the amount of days allowed without a note from the doctor’s.

I walk through the halls, feeling sick to my stomach. I don't like being here, people always seem to look at me sideways and judge me. I swallow before looking up and putting on a smile. Fake.

“Kurt!” I turn around, the smile still plastered on my face. It's Gina.

Gina is best described as the typical blonde, but the smart kind. She’s pretty and has a nice smile. She’s also involved in basically every single school project you could imagine. Everyone likes her, and when I say everyone I do mean everyone. She has a talent for convincing people to do things they normally wouldn’t or don’t want to do. She’s a top student and I admit that I envy her confidence.

“Hey” I manage to smile a bit wider, wondering what she wants.

“How’re you?” She smiles but I know she doesn't really want a reply. You know, like when you come across people you haven’t seen for a while, for example in a shop or something, and they ask you how you are but you can see at their faces they don’t really want to hear the long story but just an ‘okay’… She has the same face.

Admittedly, she’s doing a great job at hiding it, but I’m a pro at recognizing them so I tell her what I know she wants to hear.

“I’m okay, you?” Forcing out another smile.

“Not so good.” She shakes her head.

I'm a bit shocked, she just went in against the common reply, being ‘same’. I compose myself and ask her what's wrong.

“You see, we’re doing another school musical but we’re lacking male entries. I was hoping some guys would enter but we haven’t enough to fill all the roles...”

Oh God, I know where this is going.

I sigh. “Gina, I think I know where you’re heading but I don’t think I’m your man. I’m not ready to get out in a way like that.”

She looks at me raising her eyebrows. Great, I couldn’t have put it in a different way, could I? Nice move, Hummel!

“You know what I mean.” I quickly add.

“Kurt, that was ages ago,” she places her hand on my shoulder, “Besides, I’ve heard you sing before.” She nods. I roll my eyes. It wasn’t ages ago, it was only last year! And she heard me sing once, and it wasn’t planned.

“Which musical are we even doing?”

“The classic: West Side Story.” She smiles broadly.

Of course! Why am I even surprised, that’s about the only one left of the cliché ones that the school hasn’t done yet.

“I’ll think about it.” I reply, hoping that it’ll be enough to make her stop going on about it.