Blaine woke up on Saturday morning, a ray of light warm on his face. He remembered the last night and all the things he couldn't give to Kurt but wanted to anyway. He crossed the flat and sneaked a look into Kurt's room. He was still sleeping but didn't look at peace. There was a frown on his forehead and his eyes looked puffy, like he had cried all night. Blaine came closer to the bed and caressed Kurt's hair, whispering to him;

"Wake up, sleepyhead."

"Hi." Kurt answered sleepily, barely containing a yawn.

"How about a lazy Saturday? Hot cocoa, movies and blankets? What do you think?" Blaine proposed. He couldn't kiss Kurt, or hug him, not even tell him how much he cared about him, but he could at least give him a Saturday full of unspoken love and take care of him.

"That sounds amazing. Help me?"

So Blaine helped Kurt. He helped him to wash and then settled him on the couch. Blaine disappeared in the kitchen to make the promised hot cocoa and while the milk was warming he went back to the room. When he returned to Kurt he built around him a fort made of blankets and pillows. He settled the mugs on the table and sat next to the couch, on the floor to see the TV. They sipped their cocoa in silence while watching the movie until Kurt put his hand in Blaine hair and started stroking his curls. And for a while they just sat there, movie playing, enjoying the calm moment, Kurt happily giving Blaine's head a massage and Blaine enjoying it. It was soothing for both of them. Kurt was finally able to reach for his boyfriend and touch him without Blaine running away or flinching. And Blaine could just savour the fact that someone was taking the time to take care of him, to see him and feel that long-gone connection with Kurt.

Blaine put the back of his head against the couch and locked eyes with Kurt, both smiling and relishing this peaceful moment, all worries gone. In that moment Blaine didn't care that Kurt didn't remember everything, it didn't matter that this Kurt was not the real Kurt, he was the Kurt he knew and who had loved him. There was no memory loss, no pretending and no act. It was just sweet and full of caring.

"Where's lunch? I'm starving and it's too fucking early for me to make phone calls so I'm not ordering if nothing's ready." Shoot Sebastian while slamming the door and making a noisy entrance. "It looks like a bad LGBTI meeting in here, or a remake of a sad French movie. What the hell are you doing on the floor…Blaine?"

It took them a whole minute to understand what was happening. Sebastian had just barged in Kurt's apartment and was looking at them suspiciously.

"Well, well, well. How are you doing, Granny Smurf?" Blaine winced at the nickname and lead Sebastian to the kitchen.

"We'll be back in a minute Kurt. I need to talk to Sebastian." Blaine didn't hear the answer but saw Kurt's hand flying and dismissing them. He then turned to face Sebastian and his evil grin. Blaine had no idea why Sebastian was here, or how he even know where Kurt lived. Was this an alternative world where everything was messed up? But before Blaine had time to form a coherent sentence Sebastian interrupted his thoughts.

"So are you settling ok? Is the place to your convenience? When did you have sex with Kurt?" Blaine stood there, mouth open, agape.

"Hum, well, no, I didn't sleep with Kurt, of course not."

"Why not?"

"Why not?" Blaine chuckled humorlessly, "because it wouldn't be right, because Kurt isn't himself and even if he thinks he wants to I know it's not the truth. I will not take advantage of the situation."

Sebastian looked at him intensely, searching for the lie or any wrong intentions but after a while he just relaxed and put a hand on Blaine shoulder.

"Well, at least it's that. I'm going to say it just once so listen carefully: if you touch Kurt, if you fuck him, if you break his heart or do anything that I judge to be inappropriate I will end you. Mark my words, Birdy: I will end you. Are we clear?" Blaine did nothing but gulp loudly and nod. "Fine. With that said, what did you tell him that I need to know not to screw up this shitty situation?"

So Blaine explained everything, sparing no details. If Sebastian was staying here, and it looked like it, he needed to be informed about everything. At the end of his monologue Blaine remembered that he still had no idea why or how Sebastian did get here in the first place and, most importantly, what was his relationship with Kurt?

"Let's go back to Kurt, he must be wondering what is taking us so long. It might be funny."

And as Sebastian guessed, Kurt was still under all the pillows and the blanket, arms crossed and pouting.

"Don't pout, Princess Gwenevere. You'll have wrinkles and Jewel Rider over there won't stay around." Kurt just glared at him instead.

"What took you so long? Don't you see each other all the time and send texts to each other?"

"I was giving Blaine the best blowjob he ever had. It's real work, it takes time." Blaine yelped at that and Kurt snapped his head to see him.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me! Sebastian, get out of my place. And don't you dare come near my boyfriend again or even look at him. I will not go through all your manipulations and flirting again. Leave." And with that Kurt just pointed at the door and waited for Sebastian to move. Blaine stood there, knowing that now wasn't the moment to speak.

"Ok, calm down" Sebastian sat in a chair in front of the couch and smiled at Kurt. "I won't go after your boyfriend and you won't threaten me. But just so you know your casts and your magnificent blanket armor aren't giving you any credibility. I just came here to have time with Gay Face. So Blaine, you can go. I'll take care of Kurt. Don't come back until late tonight." Blaine fidgeted on the couch. He couldn't leave Kurt with Sebastian, they weren't even friends. Were they?

"Sebastian, I will not spend a whole day with you just because you scream to everyone that might want or not to listen to you that we are friends. I don't trust you, I don't remember being friends with you, and I don't feel comfortable around you."

"But, Kurt, that's exactly why I'm here!" Sebastian looked positively evil in that moment. He also looked like nothing would make him change his mind. So Kurt just sighed and agreed to the stupid idea.

"Fine. I am going to have a marvelous time with you today. Just so you know you are buying lunch and you are apologizing for kicking Blaine out of our place."

Sebastian and Blaine looked wide-eyed at Kurt. He seems so sure of him and so proud to call the flat theirs. Blaine knew he should say something, correct Kurt. But he couldn't. It was all he ever wanted to, it what was he was longing for. He couldn't correct Kurt. He just wanted this little thing at least, if he couldn't have the rest. The prospect of what it could've been. He just wanted that. So he let himself out of the apartment, out of the building and walked to his and Cooper's.

He quietly entered the place. It was silent. The silence there was ponderous. Blaine quickly made his way to the couch and turned the TV on. He didn't really pay attention to the program that went on. He didn't have to, he didn't want to. All his thoughts were for Kurt.

The situation was difficult. Of course he knew it. He knew it from the start. But he didn't know before how difficult it would actually be. Being in Kurt presence all the time was overwhelming. Denying him the very basics of a relationship was difficult, especially when he wanted to do it so badly. But it would be so wrong on so many levels. It wasn't fair for Kurt or for him. But in the meantime old Kurt, the one that didn't remember didn't have a healthy relationship with his boyfriend either. Blaine was hurting the old Kurt by doing nothing and if he actually let himself fall a bit more into the pretense he would later hurt the Kurt who knew the whole story. He didn't know what to do, had no idea who to talk to about it. It was like standing in front of cliff and feeling a strong wind pushing him, seeing himself falling but always staying on the verge of it. Blaine didn't know how to word the sensation, how to express it. He was completely lost in the situation. He was also so confused. Kurt was so nice to him even if he was hurting him. The morning had been so sweet and had made him feel complete. They had the chance to be just them for a short time but it had been enough to see what it could've been, to let himself morph into the boyfriend he was supposed to be if he just crossed the thin line.

He needed something, but he didn't know what. He needed a way out for his emotions. He needed to express everything, anything but didn't know how.

Suddenly he stood up, grabbed his keys and shut the door. He walked all the way to Jeff and Nick's pub and pushed the door. It was barely 6.00pm when he arrived and the open mic didn't start for half an hour. So he climbed the stairs and start looking for one of the two owners.

Actually Jeff found Blaine and jumped on his back.

"Blaine! You came! Finally! I was planning to come and capture you. But Nicky thought it was stupid and dangerous. Did you come here to sing or just drink?" Jeff was still on Blaine's back, piggy-back style. He was also screaming in Blaine's ears but didn't seem to want to lower his voice anyway.

"I'm here and I wanted to sing, if it's okay with you guys of course. I don't want to impose or to mess up your schedule or anything." Blaine carefully put down Jeff and turn around to see him. Jeff gave him a quick hug and disappeared in the back of the hallway. When he came back Nick was following him, a big smile on his face.

"Blaine! Man, it's been so long since the last time. You okay?"

"Hum, yes, I'm good. Can I sing tonight? It's open mic night, right? Because I can go if it's not tonight and…" He didn't have time to finish what he was about to say as Nick cut him.

"You want to sing? Jeff give me the list, hum let me see. Yep you can sing tonight. Of course you can sing tonight! I'm so glad you came. Jeff had already come up with a plan and outfit to come and capture you if you didn't show up anytime soon." Nick give him a bright smile and put his arm around Jeff, quickly kissing his cheek . "So, any reason for you to sing tonight? Courting someone?"

Blaine blushed furiously. Courting Kurt by singing to him in front of large crowd was kind of his thing, yes, but tonight he was here to try to sort thing out, or at least to let everything out. He couldn't contain all his emotions and worries. He needed a way out and after all this time he turned to music, again.

"Hum, no. I just want to sing for…myself."

"That's great too. You're up first. Let me introduce you and then you can sing all you want."

Nick left and Jeff lead Blaine downstairs. They ordered drinks and waited for Nick to come in front of the scene and start the open mic night. Jeff was bouncing in his seat. But he knew Blaine too well to push him into talking. He hadn't seen him in two years and it seems like a huge step for Blaine to gather the courage to come to their club. So he wouldn't push him. Well, not tonight. Nick appeared and introduced Blaine.

Blaine took a deep breath, went to the stage and stood in front of the crowd. He looked at them and realized what he was going to do. For the first time in many years he was going to sing. But curiously the fear wasn't the feeling that flowed under his skin. He felt the adrenaline and the need to be on stage. He sat on the stool in front of the piano and put his fingers on the keyboard. He looked one more time at the crowd and then closed his eyes to let all his insecurities, all his questions and problems drown into the lyrics. He started to play and nothing else mattered. He was strong again.

There are ways I've fallen
There are times I've been so weak
There are moments when I hear redemption calling
But I'm too far down to speak

Come sweet fire of mercy
Cover up my skin
Warm me like the sun
Won't you let me in
To come, come undone

There are scars that I've been hiding
There are ghosts that I do not name
There are closets I do not care to open
They open all the same

Come sweet fire of mercy
Cover up my skin
Warm me like the sun
Won't you let me in
To come, come undone

Kurt was fuming. He was trapped with Sebastian for the rest of the day. How brilliant. He was completely at his mercy since he couldn't move. He couldn't wait for the day they would finally remove his casts. In two weeks. That was way too far for his liking. Sebastian didn't seem to want to move so they just sat in silence for half an hour. Then Kurt decided that he might as well take advantage of the situation.

"Sebastian?"

"Oh, so now you're talking to me. I feel blessed"

"I've talked to rats before, don't put your head over this. I actually have an important question so for once in your life be serious." This was the moment for Kurt to ask all the questions he wanted. About his job, their friendship, his dad, his family, anything. But he had to ask about Blaine. Because it was killing him. Blaine seemed so cold and distant. He acted like he wasn't in love with him anymore. And he didn't know what the other him had done to Blaine for him to act like that, but he couldn't stand it. He didn't want Blaine to stay away from him. He wanted to hug him, to talk to him to sleep, to feel his arm around him and to find a way to sleep in the same bed even if it was awkward because of the casts. So he had to ask.

"What happened with Blaine? What did I do?" The question was so quiet that Sebastian almost missed it. When he understood the meaning behind it he narrowed his eyes.

"Why do you think you did something? Did he put any blame on you?" Kurt looked shocked.

"No! Of course not! But he is so distant. It's like he is not my boyfriend anymore. The Blaine I know is full of life, always bouncing and singing and smiling. He doesn't come near me anymore. He looks at me with terror in his eye, even envy sometimes. It's so confusing. Why am I even telling you about it? It's not like you can understand."

"So he is distant. How?" Sebastian needed to evaluate the situation before saying anything. He couldn't advise Kurt on how to charm someone he had broken up with but didn't remember.

"He barely touches me…"

"So you guys had sex!"

"No!" Kurt shouted, and then blushed furiously because he was talking about his sex life with Sebastian of all people. "No we haven't had sex since I woke up in the hospital. I don't know about it before that. Obviously…But he… he barely looks at me, he doesn't really touch me or hug me. He doesn't kiss me. He doesn't sleep in our bed and… He hasn't said 'I love you' either." Kurt was on the verge of crying. He had no one to talk to about it for a week and being rejected by his boyfriend that long without knowing what to do or having someone to talk about had been hard. And curiously it was easy for Kurt to open up to Sebastian. Like he had done it before and his body remembered that Sebastian could be trust.

That silly, Sebastian can't be trust, why I am talking to him? Why I am having an inner monologue as well. Oh my god, stop it. Just stop it.

"Blaine became really shy and from what I gathered insecure." Sebastian was making things up and trying to remember the few things he had thought had changed in Blaine in the few minutes he had talked to him.

"Yes I saw that too. But how? Why? What did I do that he can't look at me?"

"I don't know. Life's happened." Sebastian shrugged. Because really, he didn't know. He hadn't seen Blaine in years and hadn't asked for news from the others Warblers.

"That's a shitty answer, Smythe. Life doesn't happen just like that."

"Just give him time. This is difficult for him, he needs to adapt and then things will be better." and I also need to have a good talk with him Sebastian added silently in his head.

Kurt was frustrated. Sebastian wasn't helping, he wasn't answering his question at all.

"How did we become friends already?" Kurt wondered out loud

"You tried to get into my pants and because I'm a gentleman I politely declined and offered you my friendship." Sebastian answered, smirking at him.

"You're lying. I didn't try to get into your pants. "

"But babe, you want my body, stop fighting, it's alright. I'm hot, that's understandable."

"Would you just stop it! I didn't try to have sex with you and I don't want to. Just answer the question. How did we become friends? We hate each other!"

"And that's the very basis of our friendship, Little Pony. We hate each other's guts because we are way too similar. But it works, and when we are not fighting we can enjoy each other's company. It happened at the end of your first year of college. "Sebastian didn't mention that they had actually tried to sleep with each other, or that he came to him after the break up. This wouldn't do with the lie that Kurt was living in.

Sebastian stood up and moved Kurt so he was resting against his shoulder. He put on the TV and watched it for the rest of the afternoon.

When Blaine come back to Kurt's his head was clear. He hadn't felt like that in years. Singing didn't solve any of his problems, he still had lots of things to do and to sort out. But he was feeling better, he had the sensation that he wasn't drowning anymore but that he could swim and put his head out of the water at least. When he opened the door and get to the living room he found Sebastian and Kurt sleeping calmly, wrapped into each other.

He woke up Sebastian and they settled in the kitchen.

"So Shorty. You're clean. For now. You didn't sleep with Kurt and you didn't do anything to molest him. But be more attentive to him, be nicer or stuff that boyfriends do. Because you are doing a shitty job at it. If you can't pretend you shouldn't have taken the job in the first place. He is miserable and that's completely your fault. So kiss him goodnight, hug him, look at him and tell him that he doesn't look fat in his new dress. Okay?"

Blaine nodded silently. Was it like Sebastian's way of telling him he should act like a real boyfriend and stop fighting against himself and let the situation be? Sebastian must have read the confusion on Blaine face because he added:

"But don't you dare have sex with him. If you value your penis, don't go near Kurt. Alright?" Once again Blaine nodded but didn't say anything else. Sebastian gathered his things when Blaine remembered Kurt's phone.

"Sebastian? Do you know what the code to open Kurt's phone is? His father didn't know and …"

"Yeah let me write it for you"

Blaine handed a paper and a pen to Sebastian who wrote down a number and then left. Blaine was still confused about the how and why Sebastian was friends with Kurt. It didn't seem logical to him, but again, nothing in his current situation seemed logical.

He carried Kurt to the room and laid him down. He couldn't stand though because Kurt had grasped his shirt and he couldn't help but lay next to him. Kurt opened an eye to look at him and smiled.

"So you're finally here." Kurt was calm and looking adoringly at Blaine. "Would you please stay with me? The couch must be really uncomfortable. I should know; I spend my days on it. Please, just for the night?" Kurt's voice was soft and carried so much expectation. Blaine felt strong enough that he could give this to Kurt. He could just sleep next to him and not fall for the trick. He could be the fake boyfriend and not let himself believe something else.

"Yes, I'll sleep here tonight. Let me just turn off the light and I'll be back in a minute okay?"

"Sure." Kurt's smile emptied Blaine of any form of resistance. If saying yes to Kurt gave him the right to see that smile then he would say yes to everything.

He quickly turned off the lights and locked the front door. Then he remembered Kurt's phone. He reached for the paper with the number on it and opened the phone. He wanted to be sure that nothing would ruin the pretense. He was just going to check quickly into the phone and give it back to Kurt. The phone began to buzz rapidly.

From Aaron:

Hi babe, come over tonight. We both need release.

From Paul:

In an hour, at the Corner's café. I need a quicky. You're in?

From Raoul:

I want you so bad. Last time was really good. Come over.

A dozen of texts appeared on Kurt's phone. Blaine didn't read them all. He felt sick and lost. Once again. So Kurt was what? Having sex with loads of men? He was attractive, of course men would want to sleep with him. But he always thought that sex for Kurt was something special. A bond that he was making with someone special. But mostly Blaine was hurt. This was the proof that the new Kurt didn't think about him at all anymore. That he had moved on and forgotten about him. That Blaine was just the high school boyfriend that you hide because you're ashamed you ever dated someone like him. Insecurity rushed back. Loneliness followed quickly. He stood there for a while, not knowing how to move.

He shut down the phone and get back to the room. Kurt was waiting for him patiently. Blaine had to remind himself that he had in front of him the old Kurt. The one that hadn't slept with anyone but him and that this Kurt hadn't done anything to hurt him. Yet.

So Blaine climbed into the bed, pulled the blanket over him and Kurt, and tried not to look too devastated.

"Blaine?"

"Hum?"

"Can I…Would you… Would you give me a real goodnight kiss, please?" Kurt whispered to the dark room. Blaine remembered what Sebastian had told him. It must have taken Kurt lots of courage to ask this of him.

It had been a long day. Hell, a long week. Singing for the first time in years had given him strength that he didn't think he had again. And the texts he read had made him sick. He wanted Kurt. He wanted him to be his. He wanted to be the best fake boyfriend anyone ever had. He wanted to fall into the lie and never get back to reality. He wanted Kurt, he wanted him so badly. And after all these years he had the chance to maybe have a little taste of it. Just one more time before the end. One last time and then Kurt's memory would come back. But he had to take that chance, he was tired of fighting. For once he just wanted to take.

So Blaine leaned on his elbow and gently turned Kurt's head so they were facing. Blaine's fingers slowly ran along Kurt jaw and he delicately cupped his face. He looked into Kurt's eye before putting his lips softly on Kurt's.

"Goodnight, Beautiful."