"...and so it's been a week since I've seen him." Blaine finished as he sat in front of his grandmother, her plate already empty. The lady had decided that it been way too long since she'd seen her grandson and had then forced him to go out with her. Since she didn't trust Blaine on his cooking skills they had ended up in the bar where Blaine and the band usually played. It was a calm night since it wasn't a concert night nor an open mic night and it seemed that people had stayed at home. They were in a corner, far away from anyone and so they could talk without being interrupted by the few people that were in.

"Yeah, and?" Suzie asked with a crooked eyebrow. She had finished her meal for a good ten minutes now and Blaine just didn't seem to stop talking. She really didn't see what the big deal was about the whole situation. "He is slick as an eel. So you just grab him, kiss him passionately and tell him that he is your boyfriend. You don't ask him to be, you tell him."

"Gran, I can't just do that. He has a soulmate somewhere and so do I. We never talked about it and even if we had those moments when nothing around mattered I'm not sure he is in the same state of mind as I am."

The grandma studied the boy in front of her. She knew that her grandson wanted to be with that giant sexy Freckles but she didn't to know what extent.

"And that would be?"

"What?"

"In what state of mind are you, Blaine dear?" The woman wondered gently, almost motherly. Blaine blushed to his roots and looked down, suddenly very intrigued in his napkin. "Blaine?"

"I... I want to be with him. I know I always said that I wanted to wait for my soulmate and on some level I still want to but... Have you ever met someone who just made you change your point of view on everything and makes you question everything just by... being? Because that's what it is with Porcelain. He makes me question everything and makes me want to just be and stop searching for something. He makes me wants to give even if I'm never gonna get anything in return. It stupid and oh so cliché, but the first time I saw him, it was so quick and in rush, but the moment I looked into his eyes, I knew that he was going to be someone important in my life. I didn't, and still don't, know how much, but I just know. I'm not being very clear, am I?"

The old woman smiled knowingly and took her grandson hands in hers.

"Oh baby boy. The name you have on your finger doesn't have to dictate how you live your life. It doesn't show you the right direction nor does it show you how to live. You're a human being, baby boy, if something feels right then go for it, fight for it. You never know what beautiful things you might earn. And this boy is definitely something worth fighting for. Have you seen his butt?"

"Gran!" Blaine's blush darkened and the man silently took in all that his grandmother had just told him. Was he willing to just turn his life around and forget everything he always believed in for a man he knew next to nothing about and who constantly ran away from him? Not so surprisingly, the answer was clear and evident for Blaine. Of course he was willing to. He had been willing to think over everything he believed in for Porcelain the moment he had laid eyes on him. It just took him some time to acknowledge it and come to terms with it.

"Alright, let's go. This place stinks and I think I'm gonna get assaulted by the bartender." Blaine helped Suzie to stand up and to walk to the door. She stopped midway to the exit to listen to the man who was playing the piano. From where they had been sitting they couldn't see who was coming in and out of the bar, they also couldn't see or hear the stage. So of course they hadn't seen him walking in.

Porcelain was sitting on the stool in front of the piano, lost in what he was singing, his fingers dancing over the keys.

They both stood there, enthralled by the man and his voice. Blaine had never heard him sing, he didn't even know he could. Well, Blaine knew he must have had a good voice to be in his Glee club in high school, but he never thought the man would have a voice so clear and pure, so beautiful and magnetic.

Suzie looked between her grandson and the man on stage. She knew very well that the two could have an epic love story if only they just get their head out of their cute little butts. But they were both really stubborn and really stupid sometimes. She appreciated the look on Blaine's face for a few more seconds before breaking his spell.

"Did you know?"

"Know what?" Blaine asked back, finally turning his head to face his grandma.

"That he had lost his first soulmate?" Blaine snapped his head back at the lady and considered her, a shocked look on his face.

"I... What?" Suzie gripped her grandson's arm to steady herself and answered.

"Look at him, really look at him. Look at how he is holding himself and the way his body moves. Listen to his voice and you must know how guarded he is. I can see it from here, it's written all over his face. This is a man who lost and mourned, baby boy. And from what he is singing it wouldn't be a surprise of it was his soulmate."

Blaine did what he was told. The man onstage was pouring his heart into the song, probably thinking that, at this hour of the night, no one was in the bar except for the few bartenders left. Blaine remained there in awe. He could feel the pain, clear and heart-breaking; he could see how it affected the man on stage. But could this have happened because of the loss of his soulmate? Was it what it was all about? Blaine frowned in confusion and in deep reflection.

"He looks like he could use someone to talk to." Blaine nodded, never looking away from the designer.

"Yeah."

"And by someone I meant you, Blainers." The old woman gave a little nudge to her grandson to shake him out of his reverie.

"Yeah, what? Oh, me? No, I'm not sure I would be the best –"

"Oh please. Don't tell me that you can't go over there to talk to your man just because you're not wearing the right bowtie or some shit like that. Minutes ago you were going all lovey dovey on me about how much he changed you and all."

"I also told you that I wasn't sure he was in the same state of mind. I'm actually quite sure he is not there yet and probably never will be." Blaine received a slap on his arm and a furious glare from the woman.

"Blaine Devon Anderson, stop being a coward, grow a pair and go talk to him. I didn't raise a quitter!" The woman started to push her grandson toward the scene when Sebastian walked on stage and said a few words to the designer who looked resigned. He stood up and walked behind Sebastian, never seeing Blaine nor his grandmother at the other end of the bar.

"Well, I thinking you just lost your chance, Blainey. This man was looking fine!"

"It's Sebastian Smythe, they are flatmates. And I didn't lose anything since I had nothing in the first place."

"Smythe...That asshole who hid the ginormous dildo in your drawer? I liked him. Well, let's hope they don't have too much fun together."

Blaine looked down to his grandmother, surprised that she remembered such things about his life and his friends.

"Gran, just stop." Blaine looked defeated. He never thought that maybe the two were sleeping together. And if he was being honest with himself he certainly didn't want to think about Porcelain with anyone but him.

"Hey, don't look like that. I was joking. But you know, I've seen how you two look at each other; I've seen how you talk about him and how he blushes whenever you're around. He just needs a little push in the right direction." Suzie said gently, as they made their way out of the bar.

"I tried, it's just not working."

"Well, try harder. Talk to him, really talk to him, don't bullshit him with metaphors that only you understand." The woman plopped down in the backseat of her car that waited for her. "I bet with Wes that you two would get together soon because it's meant to be. And I hate losing money, so hurry up with lover boy. Between you two it's just a matter of time."

And with that she slammed the door shut and gave her driver instructions, leaving an astonished Blaine.

Blaine had been thinking about what Suzie had told him for a week now. He had also played over and over what he had told her. He wanted to be with Porcelain, as simple as that, and it shouldn't have to be so complicated. Blaine started to work himself up and quickly stood up. He could do it, he could make things work between them. He grabbed his coat and started to march to the shared apartment.

With each step his determination grew stronger. He knew it was right, he knew they both wanted it and if the man needed a push in the right direction who was Blaine to deny him that? He had no idea what he wanted to tell the man, he just knew he had to do something. He climbed the stairs two by two and knocked loudly on the door.

Puck opened the door, much to Blaine's dismay.

"Hey, man. Sebastian isn't here. I don't really know where he is or when he'll be back. But P is here!"

"I'm here to see Porcelain actually. Uh, can I come in?" Puck moved a little and let Blaine step inside.

"Oh yeah, sorry. Just go in, you know where his room is, right? Gotta go. Tell him I'll be back tonight!"

Puck disappeared behind the closed door and Blaine made his way to the room. He knocked softly this time, not wanting to interrupt or disturb the man inside.

"Yeah co-" The designer stopped mid-sentence, not expecting to see Blaine coming into his room. "Uh, hi. Blaine." Kurt stood up from his bed and left the magazine he had been reading on it. He moved closer to Blaine, waiting for him to speak.

"You didn't call and we haven't talked for more than two weeks now and it's alright." Blaine rushed out. "I understand. I mean, no I don't really understand because I'm not in your head but, uhm..." Blaine squirmed and then dropped his head in his hands in embarrassment. Kurt smiled fondly at the man and stood closer to him, prying his hands off his face.

"Come on, look at me. Deep breaths." The designer instructed. "Start over, what do you want to say?" Blaine looked up, and locked eyes with the man in front of him. He didn't realize that they were holding hands. He took a deep breath and started what he hoped would be enough to make the designer change his mind about them.

"I don't care about our soulmates. I don't care that there is someone who is supposedly perfect for me. I don't need perfect, I don't want perfect. It's someone's imperfections that make them beautiful; it's all the little flaws that make a relationship worth it. All those little despicable things that you can't help but love about the other, this is what makes something beautiful. Perfect isn't something to strive for. I don't want perfect, I want what is right. And you are right. We are right for each other. I know that you're scared, I know that there is a lot to be afraid of but why can't we give us a shot? If half of what I feel for you is real then it is so worth it. You are worth it. I want us to have a chance, I want us to have the romance we deserve. Would you... Would you give me, us that chance?"

"Blaine, we... I can't give you what you want. This, us, it's not a good idea. We can't be together. I can't be with you, it wouldn't be right."

"But..."

"Blaine, please. Don't make me say things I don't want to say. I think you should... You should go."

Blaine nodded, a tear rolling on his cheek and he turned around and left the bedroom. Everything was a blur and he felt so lightheaded. He couldn't believe he had fucked that up. He couldn't feel his arms and everything was just so light and blurry. He walked haphazardly to the next door, trying to hold himself up with the handle and to support himself. He could barely grab it and before he could feel it Blaine was lying on the floor, not really conscious of what was surrounding him.

Kurt heard a loud and muffled noise into the hallway and opened his door to see what had happened. He saw Blaine lying on the floor and rushed to him as quickly as he could. The man was mumbling and was going from being conscious to unconscious. Kurt gently put his hand on his lap and took his wrist to feel the pulse. It was here, strong but unsteady.

Kurt waited a little more, as Blaine began to wake up slightly.

"Don't move, I'm going to get you some water."

He moved as fast as he could and got a pillow from the couch before going back to Blaine.

"Here, try to drink that. Don't move too fast, okay? I'm going to help you."

They stayed there, Blaine lying and Kurt brushing curls off his forehead, saying reassuring little words to him. Kurt couldn't help but feel protective of the man. Of course he would, the man had just fainted in his flat and he looked really ill. That was really just what it was about, nothing else. Kurt told himself over and over as he kept caressing Blaine forehead, his other hand on the man's wrist. He could try to fool himself into believing whatever he wanted, but he knew better.

After an hour, Kurt gently carried Blaine to his room and put him under the covers. He put the glass on his nightstand and kissed Blaine on his hair before he could think about it.

"Just try to get some sleep. You must have had a blood pressure problem. It's nothing big but it can be scary. I'll be in the living room."

As Kurt tried to get out of the bed Blaine weakly took his wrist to try to keep him there. Kurt instantly understood the need to have someone near. He didn't want to leave Blaine alone but had feared that the man wouldn't want him around after what he just told him. Kurt walked around the bed and jumped into bed and under the cover as Blaine immediately shifted into a little ball against Kurt's side.

Kurt smiled at how instant the move had been. It was like Blaine was drawn to him, like he was seeking for the safety of Kurt's arms and body when he was weak. Kurt didn't know why, but he felt happy to have the man near him and safe with him. Without wanting it they both fell asleep.

When they woke up Blaine's head was hidden in the crook of Kurt's neck and he was encircled by two strong arms that were keeping him safely in his position close the man's body. Blaine still felt weak but the fact that Kurt was there and holding him the way he was made him feel a little stronger.

Kurt stirred and opened his eyes to see a mop of dark curly hair. Blaine stopped breathing for a second, too scared of what the man's reaction would be.

"Hey, are you feeling alright?" the designer's voice was soft and concerned. Blaine looked up slowly, half because of his state and half because he was still afraid of what would happen if he were to look him in the eyes.

"I'm feeling... weak? I mean, I'm not feeling ill but just, yeah weak. Is it normal?" Kurt smiled gently at him and squeezed him tighter.

"It's normal. You're just gonna need some sugar, water and sleep and you should be fine. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, yeah. But,uh..." Kurt let go of Blaine instantly, as he remembered what he had told the man hours ago. It didn't matter now if it felt right or not, if Blaine's breath on his neck was the most soothing feeling in the word, or if their bodies fit perfectly together. Kurt had made himself clear even if he was already regretting it.

"Thank you for helping me. I don't really know what happened." Blaine added after a few seconds, wanting to break the heavy silence.

"You're welcome. I wasn't going to let you die in my hallway." Kurt joked a little, earning a soft smile from the man in his bed.

"I'll be out of your way as soon as I can. I'm sorry for imposing like that."

"Stop talking nonsense. I'm actually happy it happened while you were still in my place."

Blaine stayed silent and drifted back to sleep. Kurt stood up and made his way to the kitchen, it was almost midnight and Puck was fast asleep on the couch, drooling on some pillows. He waited for the water to boil and went back to the room with a mug of tea in hand. He sat on the chair and put a blanket over his folded lap, drifting to sleep as well at some point.

When Blaine woke up he didn't open his eyes first, he planted his head into the pillow next to him and took a deep breath. It was all Porcelain, his cologne, and probably what was his shampoo and something just him. The smell made Blaine feel stronger, safer. He hugged the pillow to his chest and heard a little laugh. This caught his attention and he finally opened his eyes.

"You might want to let go of this pillow, I think you're strangling it."

"But how can you strangle a pillow? Plus it smells nice." Kurt blushed furiously and played with the hem of the blanket.

"Yeah, uhm, it's my pillow."

"I know. I think I'm feeling better, so I'm just gonna go." Blaine said, shyly. What happened the day before came back to their minds instantly, making the air thicker.

"I... Yeah, ok. Uh..." Blaine tried to stand up and slowly made his way to the chair where the designer was still seated. The singer was feeling much better after a full night of sleep.

Blaine stopped in front of the brunette and leaned slowly before kissing his forehead and grabbing his chin gently to make them lock eyes.

"I remember what you said yesterday and I know you didn't mean it. Take all the time you need, I'm not going anywhere. I'll be waiting for you not matter how long it takes. I'm going to prove you that I'm not going anywhere."

Kurt's eyes filled with tears as he watched Blaine leave his room. He used all his self-restraint not to give up on all the promises he had made to himself, not to rush and turn the man around to kiss him and make him his. Instead, Kurt sat there, looking longingly at where Blaine had been lying mere moment ago. The place already felt empty without him.

Later that day when Sebastian walked into their place the first thing he saw was a very sad looking Kurt sitting on the couch. The man rolled his eyes, already annoyed. This was getting ridiculous.

"Alright, are you gonna tell me what this is all about?" The taller man started, not sure where to take it from here.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the pity party that you've been throwing for over a week now. It got old the third day. So spill. What's up?" Kurt grunted and rolled his eyes. Of course Sebastian would want to press the matter.

"It's none of your business and it's nothing. Drop it."

"Oh no! See it became my business when I had to cuddle with you. I don't cuddle even to get into somebody's pants. Now you're sad, and I don't like when someone is sad. It makes things awkward and I don't do awkward. So speak. I'm listening." Sebastian sat on the small table in front of the couch, facing the brunette. He knew better than to push too far so he stayed silent while Kurt pondered what he could tell to the man so he would leave him alone.

"I'm attracted to someone I shouldn't be attracted to. I know I shouldn't, hence the pity party." Kurt rushed out, hoping that it would satisfy his flatmate.

"Why shouldn't you?" Kurt laughed bitterly at the question and glared at Sebastian who looked dead serious.

"Oh, that was a real question. Well, apart from the obvious soulmate issue and the 'you shouldn't get attached to someone you can lose' problem. Nothing really." Sebastian nodded pensively but didn't say a thing.

"Okay princess. You need to stop bitching around. You and Anderson are fucking obvious. So what if you're attracted to him? Just go for it, it never bothered you before." Kurt's eyes grew big at the statement and he sat further back on the couch.

"It's not about him." The taller man looked at him with a bored look on his face.

"Alright, so not about him. Whatever helps you sleep at night. Anyway, listen to me. For some reason, I don't like seeing you like this. So stop moping around and get your shit together. Life happens, that's the point of it all. You can't expect to control everything and everyone. You're attracted to him: go for it, don't wait because you're afraid of what might happen. It's just a fucking waste of time."

"Bas, I'm glad we're having this discussion but –"

"Shut it, I'm talking. My point is: don't wait and stop being afraid. I was afraid, still am. When I was still in high school, I went to Scandals one night. He..." The taller man took a deep breath to try to collect himself and to continue with a steady voice. "This boy came and talked to me. He was beautiful and looked so lost and hesitant. I fell hard and fast for him the minute I heard him talk." Bas looked away, reliving the little things as he told them. "I stupidly pushed him away. Everything was going too fast and it was too confusing. So I pushed him away because it was easier and it was safer. He never told me is name but somehow I just knew." The man unconsciously started to stroke his mark under his right ribcage. "A few days later my mark was crossed. He was my soulmate and I pushed him away. I learnt later that he hanged himself because of the bullying at school. I could've been there for him if I hadn't been so afraid."

Sebastian stopped for a minute, hiding a sob and sorting his thoughts.

"If I'm telling you that it's because... Don't act like me, don't push people away because it's easier and because you're afraid. I lost him but then another name appeared on my body and it wasn't alright right away, but it happened with some time. Blanderson might not be your soulmate but you can't close yourself to life and people because it will protect you. In the end it never does."

Kurt quickly wiped the tears that had gathered in the corner of his eyes, amazed that someone so rude and arrogant had been through such things and was actually able to talk about it.

"Your... What was his name?" Sebastian smiled sadly, shaking his head like it was a bad joke.

"He went to your school, actually. His name was David Karofsky." Sebastian choked a little as he said his late soulmate's name. "It's been a while since I said his name out loud." The man added, almost as an apology.

Kurt's eyes grew big at the name, but he didn't say anything. Of course he knew David, the boy had been bullying him for months before forcefully taking his first kiss in an empty locker room. He then had transferred to another school and Kurt hadn't heard a thing from him until he read in the newspaper that the boy had killed himself. It had been quite a shock for Kurt, because it could've been him, because he could've helped him. Kurt stayed silent, respecting his friend's mourning.

They hugged awkwardly and went back to their room. Kurt knew it had to be difficult for his friend to talk about such things, especially when the man was usually so cocky and arrogant. They never talked about heavy subjects, they usually bantered lightly and left it at that.

It was the first time that they had really talked and Kurt had the impression that he had discovered Sebastian for the first time. Kurt was also grateful, somehow. He knew he wasn't the first person to lose his soulmate but he was grateful that he was the only one who had to experience having no other name on his body after that. He would never wish it upon anyone.

Kurt lay on his bed, pensively, thinking about the past few day, all the talking he had to do and clutched his pillow closer to his chest. Instantly a strong smell so distinctively Blaine hit his nostril. It was indeed the pillow Blaine had slept on and Kurt brought it closer to his chest, trying to fill the hole that was growing bigger and bigger in his chest since he let the man go.

It was out of pure friendship and concern that Kurt found himself in front of Blaine building a few days later. He was just checking on a friend that had been sick at his place. Why he couldn't do it by phone was a mystery but he just told himself that he was being a caring friend.

He'd barely knocked on the door when Blaine opened it wide, smiling broadly.

"Hi there! Come on in." Kurt stepped inside and got rid of his coat. "I saw you cross the street half an hour ago, you know." Kurt blushed furiously and didn't turn around as he made his way to the living room.

"I... Yeah, well. I..."

"Wasn't sure if you'd come up?" Kurt nodded, ashamed. They both sat on the couch and Blaine waited for the designer to say something.

"I'm not sure why I'm here. Are you feeling better?"

"Much better, yes, thanks. I think that the little nap in your bed helped a lot." Kurt smiled at the memory of a happy Blaine in his bed.

"Ah, yes. Never underestimate sleeping in my over-pillowed bed."

"Why are you here?" Blaine pressed gently after a few moments of silence. Kurt didn't dare to look at him and stayed silent for a couple more seconds before sighing.

"I... I don't know why but I feel like I owe you the truth."

"About what?"

"Us. Me?" Blaine frowned in confusion and shifted closer to the designer.

"What about it?"

"It's... complicated and just let me talk and get this out, alright?" Blaine nodded, curious of what the man had to share with him. He could see that he was tense and afraid. He could also feel how important it must have been. Blaine stayed silent and didn't move, giving the man in front of him as much time as he needed.

"If I'm being completely honest then I think I might have to start by telling you that... I want to be with you. I want to, but I can't. I already know how it feel to lose someone and I can't go through that again. I know I just wouldn't be able to. If we're together, I'm going to be waiting for that man, to come into your life and take what's his. Rightfully so. I'm...There is no one out there waiting for me, there is no one made just for me. So when you leave, I'll have nothing left but memories."

Blaine respected what Porcelain had asked from him and didn't ask why he would be alone, why he thought that there wasn't someone for him. He frowned in confusion and the designer sighed.

"Okay, let me just show you something." Kurt started to unbutton his shirt and took it off as well as his under shirt, revealing his pale and smooth chest, but also the heavily crossed mark over his heart. The line was thick and dark, making the contrast painful with his skin. It was impossible to make out the name under it but Blaine couldn't tear his eyes off it.

"He died years ago and I never got another mark." Kurt said, sadly caressing his mark. "So I'm nobody's. I'm not afraid of giving myself to you, I'm afraid of what is going to happen next. I can see myself fall for you, I can see myself dreaming about us, about our future together. But the moment your soulmate is going to enter into your life what we had will be nothing but the shadow of a something. And no matter what you promise me you'll be drawn to him because it's what's best for you. So call me selfish but I'm not sure I want to see you drift away from me."

Blaine bit his lip furiously, trying to hold his tears. He didn't want to push the man in front of him too far, he didn't want to ask too much out of him. But he knew that what they could have was right. He just knew it. He wasn't sure if he had the right to address the bit about the soulmate. How couldsomeone be left without one? Was it even a possibility? Blaine was confused about the whole situation and hurt on the man's behalf. He also, somehow, was happy that Porcelain didn't have a soulmate. For some guilty reasons he didn't want to acknowledge, Blaine had hated that the designer had a name other than his on his body. Blaine felt possessive of him, and now even more so that he knew the man had no soulmate.

"Thank you." Blaine whispered, not knowing if he had the right to talk.

"For what?"

"Sharing this with me. I know it is something important and a big part of who you are. I know that talking about it makes you feel vulnerable and that you made yourself even more by telling me all of this. I'm not going to pretend that I know why no other name appeared on your body. I've never heard of something like that before. But I know something. I know that you're worth fighting for. You're worth it. No matter how hard you push me away, I'll come back to you and I'll fight for you, for us. For what we could be and what we could have. I don't know why you've became so important to me. I don't know why I feel at home when I'm around you but it is what it is. You're my safe place and you're my home. You're the one that makes me question everything and still manage to keep me grounded. I'll fight for you, I'll earn your trust and your heart. I promise."

"I want to trust you, I really do." Kurt answered, overwhelmed by Blaine speech. He had tried to find a way, for a week now, to word how he felt. A home, a safe place. That's what Blaine was to him but he was also the tornado that makes everything questionable and the anchor that grounded him.

Kurt wondered how it felt for once to let go, just like Blaine was asking him to. He wondered how it would feel to finally say "fuck it" and give himself entirely to someone who would probably break his heart but would do it so beautifully that he wouldn't care.

And then it hit him. He wouldn't care, being heartbroken if it meant it was being heartbroken because of Blaine. He wouldn't care.

Kurt turned to gaze back at Blaine who was waiting for him. Just like he said he was waiting for him to come to the conclusion at his pace. He was waiting and Kurt just couldn't let him wait any longer. He closed the gap between them and kissed him fully on the lips, bringing Blaine's head closer to his with his hand. Blaine gasped a little, shocked by the bold move and kissed back almost immediately. They kissed passionately, Blaine biting Kurt's bottom lip and sucking at it, their tongues tasting each other. They poured into the kiss all they had said and everything that was left unsaid. When they finally broke apart to get some air, Kurt gently stroked Blaine's cheek and pecked him one more time before saying softly;

"Be my boyfriend, please?"