Blaine didn't get the chance to see his boyfriend after their last altercation. It lasted more than a week. They didn't call each other, they didn't text and they both felt miserable.

Kurt was lost. He truly was and there were no other words for what he was going through.

For so long he had thought that his future would be hollow and empty, full of grieving, he was so sure that such things as feelings, promises, commitment and love were forever lost for him. Now that it was a fingertip away, it just felt bittersweet. Because for how long would he be able to have it? How long before Blaine's soulmate would come into his life? But again, Blaine's words were a loud and noisy echo in his head - because what if they were each other's soulmate after all? Kurt did have Blaine's name on his chest once. Still had, underneath the ugly line. But how could his Blaine be the one he was able to hold. He had felt the pain and the coldness that night, he had almost heard the cries and felt the tears on his cheek, his own heart had skipped a beat and he had witnessed the creation of the line. But what if? What if this was the reason why he didn't have another name. What if this Blaine was the reason why he never got another name?

Then what? Kurt thought. Did it really matter, did he really want to let himself hope and long for someone and something he was certain he couldn't have? No matter the proof and no matter what Blaine was saying to him, could he really believe that? The fear was paralyzing and instead of facing his most dreaded fear he'd rather not see it. Not now, maybe later, maybe one day. Not today. Today he wasn't strong enough to face that, today he could still call Blaine his even if he didn't talk to him. The less Kurt talked to Blaine, the less the man was willing to bring up the soulmate issue and end the fantasy Kurt was living in.

Ignoring it was easier. Stupid, but easier. It didn't make the pain go away though.

Blaine got paler and paler with each day, of that Jeff was sure. The man was feeling guilty for bringing up the Denying Syndrome because he could see now how it had affected his friend. Now it was all Blaine could talk about, it was all the man thought about, it was becoming slightly unhealthy.

"Blaine, man, you need to stop beating yourself up over that. Just let it go. If he doesn't recognize it then maybe there is nothing here. After all, he knows your name and never mentioned anything about it." Jeff tried again, he had tried to reason Blaine all week, but the man was stubborn, more stubborn that an old mule, once his head was fixed on something nothing could make him change his mind.

"Jeff, I know. You've told me that every day all week. I know what you think about this and thank you for being so patient and all. But I know, okay? I just know. It's him. He is the one and just like you knew it was Nick I just know it's him."

"You can't even say his name," Jeff rolled his eyes disapprovingly. This was getting ridiculous and he seriously needed to pay a little visit to the designer, or better, send Suzy. That woman kicked ass.

"It's just something personal and I don't want to say it like it's nothing. It obviously means a lot to him, to hide himself and to make the world ignore this, so I'm going to respect that. But I'm also going to make him realize what we are."

"Oh really? And how do you suggest that? By sending pigeons? Because last time you two talked he walked away saying that he wasn't your soulmate."

Jeff earned an icy glare from his friend and immediately after Blaine started coughing painfully. It took the man five minutes to calm himself, the coughing making his chest hurt badly.

"It's getting worse, Blaine."

"I know. There isn't much I can do about it. Not until he acknowledges me - us. It will get better after that," Blaine stated firmly, knowing that Jeff was going to argue. Instead the man pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes in deep concentration.

"Okay, so I was the one saying he could be, then I was the one trying to reason with you because you seemed a tad too enthusiastic with that and now I just don't know what I'm thinking. I really want to believe that you two are made for each other and that he is your soulmate. Because fuck, that would be epic! But he didn't make a single move and that'd be a pretty shitty thing for a soulmate to do since he knows your name. It's just really messed up, man!" Jeff was now talking with his hands flying around his head and gesticulating. Blaine chuckled a little, wincing at the pain in chest that was still there after the raging cough.

"But what I'm the most afraid about is your health. Blaine, you can't just let this happen to you. You have to stop it or to do something about it. You can't let yourself endure this without saying anything. Did he see those kind of things happening to you? Did he see your mark?"

"He kind of saw me and no, he didn't. Not yet," Blaine answered in a whisper, knowing the shit storm that was going to hit him, full force.

"You what? Are you serious right now? What the actual fuck, Blaine? I mean you swear to everything you own that he is your soulmate and you didn't even show him your mark to make him realize? This is the fastest and most efficient way of knowing, you fucking moron! You could die of this! I'm calling him, I don't care I'm just calling him and saying to come over, this is just–" Blaine launched himself at a panicking Jeff who was reaching out for his phone. They stumbled and rolled on the floor in a mess of blanket and limbs, Blaine trying to grab the phone from Jeff's hands and the blonde trying to hit the call button.

"Jeffrey Sterling, don't you fucking dare!"

"I don't care, I'll do it, leave me alone, Blainers, it's for your own good!"

"Don't call me that and give me that phone! Jeff!" Blaine shouted one last time, trying in vain to reach his phone.

"Shut up minimoy," Jeff said directly to Blaine before turning his head to the phone, "Hi Porcelain, it's Jeff. You know Blaine's friend, the tall, blonde and most beautiful friend of them all!"

For a second the two men on the floor held their breath, Blaine wishing that his boyfriend hadn't answered his phone and Jeff waiting for a sound that would acknowledge the presence of a being at the other end of the phone.

"Yes, hi, Jeff. Is everything alright? You seem out of breath. Why are you calling me from Blaine's phone and not him? Did something happen?"

"Wow, calmos bitchachos. Nothing happened. Well, something happened but it's not as bad as you're imagining it. See I have a little problem with you my dear."

"Okay?"

"One: you didn't call or text my lovely friend in more than a week –"

"Neither did he."

"Hey, I wasn't finished! So there's that, and then there is the fact that you're being a bit of a jerk. So you're gonna come over and take care of your boyfriend because the man looks like he is going to die any day now. I'll wait until you show up and if you don't, well... I'll just be very disappointed in you."

Blaine was still struggling to reach the phone, as Jeff held him far away, a hand on his face. Jeff waited for an answer but when nothing came he looked up at it to make sure it was still working.

"Um, Porcelain?"

"Yes, sorry, still here. Fine, I'll come over."

"Yes! I knew I liked you," Jeff could almost see the man rolling his eyes at the other end of the line.

"Yes, well, I'm going to have to hang up and get dressed. Just one thing, Jeff. Don't ever threaten anyone or if you really want to, take lessons. It really wasn't impressive."

"Hey! That's mean, it was a spur of the moment thing! Can't hold it against me!"

Porcelain chuckled at that and said a quick goodbye before hanging up. Jeff threw the phone on the couch and finally took his hand off Blaine's face.

"See, he's coming over. You're gonna talk this over, you're going to show him your mark and then you'll live happily-ever-after and, more importantly, you'll be healthier!"

"Jeff," Blaine murmured tiredly, not even looking at his friend anymore. Instantly Jeff winced in guilt; whenever Blaine looked like that he knew he had just messed up.

"I'm sorry?" Jeff offered, hoping it would be that easy to make his friend feel better about the situation.

"If I didn't call him in a week it was because I was waiting for him to be ready to come back to me. Or I was waiting to know how I was going to do that. Now it's just going to be a big mess, " the man ran his hand over his face tiredly. "I don't even know why he agreed to come."

"Maybe he just needed a little push in the right direction. Maybe that's what you both need. A big fat ass-kicking in the right direction."

"Weren't you telling me that I was supposed to move on for my own health barely half an hour ago?"

"Hey, I can't help if I'm thinking too much and talking a lot more. It's just all very confusing, alright? Cut me some slack!"

The two friends bantered lightly, Blaine regaining his place on the couch under his blanket and Jeff sitting at his feet, poking at them occasionally. When Kurt arrived Jeff let himself out rather quickly, leaving the couple alone.

"So, Jeff told me you were sick?" They still had to make eye-contact and Blaine could feel that his boyfriend was feeling as awkward as he was, but at least he was trying.

"Well, I kind of am, yes."

At this Kurt's head snapped up and without even knowing it he sat on the couch next to Blaine and put his hand up to his boyfriend's forehead.

"What do you have? Do you need a doctor? Does it have anything to do with the last time you were sick?"

Blaine smiled at his boyfriend anxiousness and panic, at least even if the man wasn't ready for anything he still deeply cared, right?

"I don't need a doctor and yes, it does as a matter of fact."

Kurt brows furrowed in confusion, panic making place to worry on his face.

"I need... I... You see there is a lot of ways I could've said this, or do this. And like that is definitely not how I wanted it to happen but there is nothing better than spontaneity, right?"

The designer nodded a little, still not understanding where this was going.

"I know you're not ready to say it and probably never will be. I also know that you're not ready to hear it but maybe this is what we both need after all. And I really hope that you won't run away this time. I just want you to hear me out and to talk to me. I need you to talk to me and to stop running away."

"Blaine?" Kurt gently said, grabbing the musician hand in his, giving as much as comfort as he could muster. "You're rambling."

They both smiled, Blaine even more nervously than Kurt. "Yeah, sorry. I sort of babble when I'm anxious," he took a deep breath and looked up to lock eyes with his boyfriend, hoping that everything he wouldn't be able to say would just show in his eyes.

"What I'm trying to say, and not very efficiently, is that I'm in love with you. I have been for a while and I know those feeling aren't going away."

Kurt froze in place, not able to remove his hand but not able to squeeze Blaine's reassuringly. The look of pure adoration and hope on Blaine's face reverberated his words. No matter how much Kurt wanted to ignore this, to just brush it off like he did with the last issue, he couldn't. Not when his boyfriend was waiting in front of him, waiting for him to do or say something.

Kurt's mind was a mess. He had no idea what to do or say. Nothing in that moment made sense, so he just closed the gap between them, locking lips and kissing his boyfriend as sweetly as he could. He tried to pour into the kiss everything he didn't understand and hoped it was what Blaine was looking for, he poured all his emotions, as twisted and mixed as they were. When they stopped for air, Kurt leaned his forehead against Blaine's and placed a last kiss on the man's nose.

"You're right, I'm not ready to hear or say it. But thank you for loving me that much, Blaine. You're everything someone could want and hope for," Kurt said through a sad smile, standing and gathering the remaining things on the coffee table to bring them into the kitchen.

"But not you?" Blaine asked in a whisper, half afraid that his boyfriend would hear it and half afraid of not having an answer. Kurt just turned slowly back to face Blaine and sadly smiled at him.

"Me too," Kurt looked down, almost ashamed of his admission. "Just not like that, not in these conditions."

Blaine didn't get the chance to ask more, the man disappeared into the kitchen and kept himself busy for almost half an hour.

When Kurt got back to the living room Blaine had fallen asleep, he looked so peaceful like that. He almost looked healthy. Healthier than he had been in months now. Kurt brushed some of his curls away, gazing lovingly at his boyfriend.

Staying away from him was like torture and when Jeff had called him Kurt had basically jumped into the next taxi to get quicker to the place. No matter how much he wanted to stay away from the man he just couldn't. His heart, his mind and his body were attracted to him, no matter how much he tried to rationalize it, it just didn't work. Love wasn't rational; love couldn't be put into boxes or under labels. Love just was. And Kurt, looking at his boyfriend, wondered how much it would hurt the day Blaine walked away, to the arms of someone else. He wondered what would happen then and if he could even gather the courage to stay friends with the man, to look at how happy he was with somebody else.

Kurt had no answer for that. He had no answer to a lot of questions.

Kurt stayed almost all night, and when in the morning he was sure that Blaine felt better and that Suzy would be here at any moment he just let himself out. He couldn't face Blaine and all of his questions, all of his ideas and hopes. He had no answer for them.

Kurt stayed away, he didn't call and didn't text. He didn't come by and started to simply vanished from Blaine's life.

Blaine had asked Sebastian several times how his roommate was, what he was doing and lots of little things. The man had just brushed it off at some point, apparently not wanting to be between the two of them.

Everyone who knew the two men saw how the designer became more and more of a ghost and how the musician just hoped and waited as he became sicker and sicker. Headaches were a constant now, as well as nosebleeds. He could barely eat something without vomiting right after. Only the prospect of his gig and the hope of seeing his boyfriend there kept a smile on his face.

"For fuck's sake, you're going to come to that horrendous concert, you're going to cheer for your boyfriend and be fucking happy with this! I'm so done with the two of you!" Sebastian started to yell barely an hour before Blaine's gig was scheduled. Of course Wes had forced him to come as former Warblers and since Kurt was still Blaine's boyfriend it was only right that he came by as well.

"No. I'll stay here and watch the videos you, guys, put online."

"Are you even listening to yourself? What the fuck did poor Thumbelina do this time? Don't you think you being a fucking moron has lasted long enough? You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself, you're being pathetic and it's properly disgusting. If you don't want to be with him at least have the decency to break up with him!"

Kurt snapped his head up at that and looked at his friend with venom in his eyes.

"I will not break up with him. So stop telling me what to do!"

"Have you seen him lately? Have you seen what he looked like? He looks like he is dying, dying! Jeff mentioned the Denyial Syndrome. What the fuck are you doing to him?"

"Oh for fuck's sake, Bas, I'm not doing anything to him, and if I'm staying away it's because he doesn't need me in his life. He doesn't need to believe in something that's not real only to discover that it was all just a joke in the end."

They both were yelling and screaming at each other in the middle of the living room, in front of Puck who was eating his chips calmly and watching the banter between the two men.

"You know what? You are a joke. You gave him things only to stop right when it was convenient for you. Well guess what? You're coming and you're going to do something one way or another."

"I told you I'm not going!" Kurt screamed one last time and began to storm out of the room. Puck decided that then was the right moment to do something and grabbed the man's arms, stopping him.

"I know you don't want to, dude, but I also know that you know it's the right thing to do." Kurt looked down at the hands on his arms, spreading crumbs of chips all over him.

"Don't call me dude. And it doesn't matter what's right and what's not. I'm not going."

"Yes, you are, dude. Don't make me call your dad or call me by your name, your real one. Things are serious when one of these two happen," Puck said with a shiver like he dreaded it more than saying 'Voldemort'.

"You know that threatening me doesn't work, right?"

"Yeah, well, I also know that Blaine wants to get that piece of information more than anything. It's your call, man."

"So you're blackmailing me? That's rich coming from you, Noah."

The Mohawk man shrugged like he was helpless with an even look on his face. "Gotta do what you gotta do. So are you coming?"

Sebastian looked between the two, and glared at the designer who now had both of his hands on his hips.

"No."

"Alright. Bas, come on, I have someone to see and some information to give."

The two men walked out of the place, Sebastian half dragged by Puck, leaving Kurt alone with his thoughts in the now empty place.

"Your intervention really did help. Thank you so much, Noah," Sebastian snapped bitterly.

"You don't get to call me that until I throw you in a dumpster for a year. And it's not like you were having much success either."

They both walked in silence for a few more minutes not having much to say. They were halfway to the bar when a breathless Kurt joined them, half running. He sent the men a harsh glare and no one breathed a word. They knew better than to piss him off now that he had made his mind up, as he could turn around faster than you could say it.

Once in the bar Kurt stayed away from his friends as much as possible so he didn't see Blaine coming up to talk to Puck and Sebastian.

"ello, gentlemen," the singer said, grabbing Sebastian's beer to take a sip.

"Don't touch my... Shit, Blaine. Are you alright?"

The smaller man rolled his eyes, as if he was used to the question by now. Unfortunately, he probably was.

"I'm fine. Just maybe a little dizzy. Is Porcelain with you?"

The two roommates didn't miss the hope in Blaine's voice and the tiredness of chasing their friend.

"Yeah, he's here! Look over there. Had to drag him in there but he is here!" Puck answered, obviously very proud of himself.

Blaine looked at where the man had just pointed and indeed his boyfriend was sitting on a stool. He obviously didn't want to be there and sat there like he was hoping to disappear. Blaine wished he hadn't heard the word Puck said. Because now there was no way he could miss the way his boyfriend deliberately stayed away from. Blaine stared at the man for a few minutes before looking away. He couldn't do this anymore, could he? He couldn't really wait and wish that something would happen. They both were miserable and Blaine couldn't encage the man in a relationship he didn't want to be in or didn't know how to escape. Blaine gazed over at the designer one more time, looking for a sign, a smile something to make him change his mind. When nothing happened Blaine's heart stopped for a moment and he tried to control his legs that were becoming weak and walk to the man, unsure.

"We had to drag him in here? Seriously, Puckerman? You're just painfully clueless. You, moron."

"What did I do this time?!" Puck asked, shocked at the attack and genuinely not understanding why he was being attacked for what he had just said.

Once they arrived to the bar Kurt sat down on a stool and turned away from the scene, hoping that no one would come over to talk to him and that no one would recognize him. Puck and Bas were nursing a beer at the other end of the bar, which was perfect. No one to bother him.

Well, not exactly.

"Hi," Blaine said, voice barely above a whisper.

Kurt slowly turned to face the man and the sight in front of him shocked him. Blaine, his Blaine was terribly thin and pale, his hairs were dull and he had big dark circles under his eyes. Kurt stared, mouth wide open, not able to say a word.

He also seemed weak and shivering. Kurt had no idea what to do or what to say, the man in front of him had a determined look on his face that was oddly mixed with sadness and hurt.

"Hum, well. Puck told me where you were. I hope it's okay I came to say hello."

"Huh," Kurt tried to swallow but his mouth was too dry and he barely managed to choke the word out, "yeah, fine."

It had to come out a bit too harsh because suddenly Blaine looked hurt and sad, he turned his gaze to the side and seemed to watch something or someone before turning back to Kurt.

"Can you come out for a minute? Please?"

He didn't wait for an answer and started to walk to the door. Kurt followed, not glancing at Puck who looked worried, and almost bumped into Blaine who had stopped right in front of the door.

"I love you and I know it doesn't mean anything to you and I know that you don't want to hear it, but I love you. I do love you. But sometimes it doesn't matter how much you love someone, sometimes it's not enough. Sometimes love is not enough."

Blaine looked down, not able to look straight into his barely-boyfriend's eyes.

"And it's killing me to see you constantly fighting. Fighting against me, against yourself but most importantly against us. I want you to be happy and I'm obviously doing a crappy job at it because when I look at you I see a man that is struggling and losing a battle that he didn't choose. I don't see a happy man. And as much as I'd love to see you lose that battle, because it would mean that you give up the fight, give in and grant us a chance, I just can't expect you to go against your strongest instincts. So I'm letting you go. I love you and today it's all I can do to make sure you're happy." The smaller man took a deep breath, and with his eyes filling with tears looked up at the man in front of him and murmured the rest of his speech.

"So if today loving you means letting you go, then I'm letting you go. Because I love you."

Blaine waited to see if the man in front of him would react. He waited and all he saw was a man standing there, not fighting to win him back, not even saying 'goodbye' or 'okay'.

Kurt's mind was perfectly blank. This was the moment. This was the moment he had feared since the beginning. This was Blaine walking away, this was Blaine telling him that they couldn't be together, that they weren't meant to be. That no matter how hard he tried they just weren't made for each other.

Kurt was struggling to keep it together, he was trying his damn best to make this easier for Blaine, not really listening anymore. It just occurred to him that Blaine had stopped talking when the man put a kiss on his lips and made his way back into the bar. It didn't taste like a sweet goodbye kiss. It tasted like an aching and heart shattering ending. This was the last word of a chapter, the rolling credit of a movie.

Kurt was trying to contain the breakdown he was having, he tried to hide his emotions and the fact that once again a man named Blaine Anderson had his heart and shattered it into a million pieces. Nothing really mattered after that.

Blaine smiled weakly at the designer, kissed him one last time on the lips, said 'goodbye,' and disappeared into the bar.

Blaine made his way backstage, his legs threatening to give out because of how weak he felt and started to prep himself for the show.

"Blaine? Are you okay?" Nick asked, panic in his voice.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Let's rock this."

The brunette stopped him and grabbed his shoulders to steady him. The man was shaking uncontrollably and he was even paler than before if it was even a possibility.

"Blaine, you really, really don't look okay."

"I'm fine, let's go."

Blaine shimmied out of his friend's grip and made his way onto the stage. Jeff looked worriedly over at his boyfriend, who marched onto the stage right after Blaine, and shrugged to show him that Blaine had made a choice. The blonde started the first notes and Blaine started to sing.

Remember all the things we wanted

Now all our memories, they're haunted

We were always meant to say goodbye

Even without fists held high, yeah

Never would have worked out right, yeah

We were never meant for do or die

He didn't know if it was because of the adrenaline in his system or the tiredness of the past weeks but Blaine felt suddenly all the nerves and worries coming down in waves, leaving him rueful and heavily tired.

I didn't want us to burn out

I didn't come here to hurt you now

I can't stop

I want you to know

That it doesn't matter

Where we take this road

Someone's gotta go

And i want you to know

You couldn't have loved me better

But i want you to move on

So i'm already gone

The crowd was a blur and everything was too hot and too cool at the same time. The lights were too bright and harsh for his eyes and Blaine could feel every pore of his skin soaked with sweat.

Looking at you makes it harder

But i know that you'll find another

That doesn't always make you wanna cry

Started with a perfect kiss

Then we could feel the poison set in

Perfect couldn't keep this love alive

You know that i love you so

I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know

That it doesn't matter

Where we take this road

Someone's gotta go

And i want you to know

You couldn't have loved me better

But i want you to move on

So i'm already gone

I'm already gone

I'm already gone

You can't make it feel right

When you know that it's wrong

I'm already gone

Already gone

There's no moving on

So i'm already gone

Already gone

Already gone

Already gone

White spots started to blur Blaine's vision and everything was a grey smog around him, his head was heavy and he could feel his eyes burning with the growing fever. His hands and feet were freezing though and he was barely able to stand anymore. He hoped that the lyrics were coming out nicely because at this point he had no idea what he was singing.

Remember all the things we wanted

Now all our memories, they're haunted

We were always meant to say goodbye

I want you to know

That it doesn't matter

Where we take this road

Someone's gotta go

And i want you to know

You couldn't have loved me better

But i want you to move on

So i'm already gone

I'm already gone

I'm already gone

You can't make it feel right

When you know that it's wrong

I'm already gone

Blaine held the last note, barely holding onto the mic to help him stay still. The crowd cheered and the noise was like a hundred of bullets piercing his eardrums all at once. It felt like his head was going to explode and his body was too weak and small to go on like that.

Nick and the rest of the band rushed to hold Blaine as he collapsed on the floor, unconscious.