The cab ride was torture. They couldn't keep their hands to themselves but didn't want to grope each other either in the back of a taxi. So they just sat there, waiting and hoping for the car to go faster. They were holding hands desperately, needing the touch to ground them, not to let the burning and aching desire take over their bodies. They didn't dare looking at each other, knowing that the moment they would face each other they would just surge forward and forget about where they were and who they were with.

The car finally stopped in front of Blaine's building and without a second glance to the driver the musician threw money at him and dragged his boyfriend inside. Once again he didn't look over to the man but tightened his grip on his hand and urgently lead them to his flat. Once the door closed nothing else mattered and Blaine pushed Kurt against the door, attacking his lips hungrily.

"Oh my god. I can't wait anymore. I just want you. Please, I need to feel your hands on me, I need to taste your skin. I want to feel you. Please." Kurt's eyes turned darker than they already were and he kissed Blaine while making him walk backwards to the bed. When Blaine's knees bumped into the frame of the bed they both fell on it, never stopping the frantic kisses they were sharing.

Nothing was more important than the other in that moment. Their smell, their eyes, the way they were flushed and the look of utter debauch on their face was all that mattered.

"Clothes off. Now" Kurt groaned before getting rid of Blaine's clothes rapidly. The designer attacked his boyfriend's neck, biting and sucking at the tender skin to mark Blaine, to leave at least one mark on his body to show the world that tonight at least he was his and his only, no matter what the other mark on his body could say. Tonight Blaine was his.

"Wait, wait." Kurt let out breathlessly after minutes of kissing and rutting against each other. "You... you deserve better than just us going at it like beasts. Just...Let's calm down a minute."

Blaine frowned a little and pecked Kurt on the lips, trying to get control over his breath and heart that was thumping loudly in his chest.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to just fuck you, Blaine." Kurt answered, biting his lip worriedly and turning his gaze away from the man beneath him. " I want to make love to you, I want to take it slow and to make this really good for you. You deserve that much."

Blaine put his hands on Kurt's cheeks, stroking them gently with his thumbs and turning the man's head so they would be able to look into each other eyes.

"Yes, please." Blaine whispered shyly. "I'd love that... I just wasn't sure you'd..."

"I want to. You're, you're different and I just want to take care of you tonight."

"Okay. Okay, how do you want to do that?" Kurt smiled at the timid question and gently removed the rest of Blaine's clothes.

"Lie down for me. And if you're not comfortable with something just say so, I'll stop."

Blaine nodded and did as he was told. He laid on his back, shifting a little under his boyfriend's eyes on him.

"You're absolutely gorgeous, Blaine." Kurt leaned forward and started to kiss Blaine's jaw, mouthing it before slowly making his way down his neck, leaving a trail of kisses along the way. He took his time to map Blaine's collarbone and left little love bites all over the man's chest. Kurt nipped and kissed Blaine's abs, before moving up to his nipples. He took one in his mouth, sucking tentatively at it.

"Oh god." Blaine let out breathlessly, gripping Kurt's hair with his hand and keeping him where he was. "Don't stop."

Kurt sucked and bit the nipple gently before moving to the other and giving him the same attention. Blaine was already a writhing mess under him, moaning and panting as Kurt continued to kiss his body.

Kurt looked into Blaine's eyes, tracing patterns over his chest and over all the little marks he had placed there, before slowly leaning to kiss the man. It wasn't as urgent as it had been in the room at the bar. This kiss was slow and gentle, giving them time to caress each other's tongue and to softly taste the other. As they were kissing Kurt moved Blaine's body so they were touching everywhere, from knees to chest, arms and groin. They sweetly started to rock against each other, giving them a soothing release as they continued to kiss softly.

"Are you sure?" Kurt panted against Blaine's ear, sounding far more desperate than he was letting show.

"Yes, please. Just do something. Anything. I want you too. Please."

Kurt didn't need anything else to open Blaine's top drawer and search for the lube and some condoms. He coated his fingers and slowly started to massage Blaine's entrance.

"Oh my god, please!" Blaine moaned, trying to get more of Kurt's fingers. Gently the brunette pushed one finger inside, studying Blaine's flushed face as he did so. Kurt took his time to prepare his boyfriend, dragging it out way more than it would have been necessary, scissoring his fingers inside of Blaine and letting the man work himself up on his fingers. Kurt watched in awe at his boyfriend moving his hips to seek the necessary friction that Kurt's fingers could provide.

"Please, want more. Want you." Blaine's hand were gripping the sheet underneath him and his erect cock was leaking with precome. "If we keep doing that I'm not going to last much longer. I want you."

Kurt nodded and retrieved his fingers, not without eliciting a whimper from Blaine. The designer reached out for the condom, but Blaine stopped him.

"I just... can we. ..Just you?" Kurt studied his boyfriend, searching for something, anything and when he found nothing but want and desire he threw the condom away and pecked his boyfriend.

"Blaine, are you sure? We can still stop." Kurt was trying not to take Blaine and he knew how important this was for the man.

"I don't want to stop and I want you. Now if you could just put your cock up my ass."

"Commanding." Kurt chuckled lightly and with a last peck grabbed the bottle of lube to stroke his dick.

Kurt slowly pushed inside of Blaine, as he pinned Blaine's hands with his, down on the bed and above his head. Kurt gave a few slow thrusts, not wanting to hurt Blaine.

"Move, please. Harder."

"Oh fuck, Blaine." Kurt responded immediately, thrusting inside of Blaine and making his boyfriend moan and whimper under his ministrations. Kurt let go of Blaine's hand to grip his legs and put them over his shoulders, changing the angle so he would hit the little bundle of nerves with every thrust.

"Holy shit! Just... don't stop. Right fucking there, please!"

"I won't stop, Blaine. So good, so tight. God it's like you were made for me." Blaine's eyes were scrunched up in pleasure as Kurt rocked and undulated his hips.

"I'm not going to last long... Oh my god. Touch me, please." At the demand, Kurt wrapped his hand around Blaine's neglected cock and start to stroke him, bringing the man on the verge of his orgasm with every thrust and stroke. Kurt placed a few kisses on Blaine's neck, as the man came all over Kurt's hand, and it was all it took for Kurt to let go as well, coming inside of his boyfriend with shallow thrusts before falling on his chest.

Blaine tiredly caressed Kurt's back as they rode their afterglow, gently massaging his shoulder and engulfing him and a tight embrace, his arms and legged locked over Kurt's body.

The brunette placed more kisses over Blaine's chest and then on his lips. It was a bit toothy since neither could contain their smile but it was all they needed in that moment. Kurt rolled over and went to the bathroom to grab a warm and wet cloth to clean them before discarding it on the floor.

Kurt got back into the bed, bringing Blaine closer to his chest and petting his hair.

"So this was..." Kurt started, too afraid to finish his sentence.

"Perfect. It was perfect. Thank you so much, it was everything I hoped for." Blaine yawned a little and snuggled closer to Kurt's naked chest.

"Love you." Blaine mumbled sleepily before falling right asleep. Kurt froze at the words. Not daring to move because it could wake Blaine and he knew that he wouldn't be able to face him right now without asking what the hell this was about.

Kurt tried to rationalize the situation. It was the first time Blaine had been intimate that way with someone, it didn't mean anything. It couldn't mean anything. It's was just the post orgasmic state speaking and nothing else.

In the morning Kurt woke up to someone lightly touching his chest, fingertip brushing over his heart where he knew his big bold crossed mark was. He opened his eyes and found Blaine wrapped around his body, his head on Kurt's shoulder, silently watching the crossed mark.

"Hi." Kurt croaked a little, his voice still sleepy. Blaine's head moved a little so he could give his boyfriend a smile and answered in a whisper.

"Hello, you." They stared at each other for a moment and Blaine spoke up again. "So last night was... good, right?"

"Yes, it was good." Kurt answered, chewing his lip and adding, "Do you remember, did you mean... Nothing. Forget I said anything."

" No, no, no. Please tell me what you wanted to say."

"Do you remember what you told me last night?" Kurt mumbled, half hoping that Blaine wouldn't understand.

"Uh, no? Was it something important?" Kurt looked away and didn't meet Blaine's gaze when he answered.

"No." Yes.

"Alright, then why are you asking?"

"Blaine, stop. It was nothing, it's still nothing. Nothing that mattered anyway. Do you want to grab breakfast?"

Kurt didn't have time to finish his sentence before Blaine was rushing to the bathroom, emptying his stomach in the porcelain bowl. Kurt worriedly stayed next to his boyfriend, petting his back while Blaine's grip tightened around the toilet as he kept puking.

"Did you really drink that much last night?" Kurt asked, a little confused, because Blaine had been on stage all the time and didn't seem drunk at all or hungover this morning.

"I didn't drink anything." Blaine managed to say before plopping down on the floor, completely exhausted. They stayed in the bathroom a bit longer in case nausea took over the singer again, and Kurt offered him a glass of water to rinse the awful taste in his mouth.

"Did you eat anything bad or do you know someone sick?" Kurt wondered as he petted Blaine's hair, trying to soothe the man a little and at least to make him feel like he was taken care of.

"No and no. I don't know what I have."

"Okay, let's get you to bed." Kurt carried Blaine to his bed and tucked him in. "I'm going to stay with you until you feel better okay? If you're sick again I'll call a doctor."

Blaine didn't vomit again and two hours later he was feeling much better.

Kurt didn't say a word about Blaine's little mishap, he didn't mention it and tried to forget about it. Truth was, he couldn't forget about it. The two words were like a neon sign in his mind: bright, flashy, obnoxious. He had no idea if he wanted them to be true or not, what he knew though was that he needed to keep them far away from that kind of feeling. Being together, enjoy being together and fooling around was fine, great even. But deep feeling and love just wasn't.

So when Blaine proposed another date night at his place, Kurt politely refused under a false pretense, and the only dates they had were during the day in very much crowded places.

"Why do I have the feeling that you're avoiding being alone with me?" Blaine asked one day when they were having lunch in a little restaurant.

"We are alone right now."

"Yes, well no, I mean alone like completely alone. At your place or mine. I mean I really love all our little dates but I just have that weird feeling, you know?"

"No." Kurt answered earning a roll of Blaine's eyes.

"Did I do something? Or say something?" Kurt's winced a little at that but didn't say a word. "I... Are you done with me because we had sex?" Kurt's head snapped up and he didn't like what he saw. Blaine looked hurt and sad but mostly resigned.

"No! Of course not. Why would you think that?" Kurt's hand flew to catch Blaine's in his, squeezing it in what he hoped was a reassuring squeeze.

"Because ever since then it's like you're pulling away from me. I'm not even sure you're doing it on purpose and it's not that obvious but I can see it. So I was wondering if you were done with me."

"I'm not, Blaine, don't think that, please. I'm sorry if..." Kurt sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm not pulling away. I'm just ... trying to make us not commit to each other too much. It's fun, we're fun, and I don't want to throw some feeling in there that would ruin everything."

Kurt didn't see the pain written all over Blaine's face at the words and when the man finally opened his eyes Blaine was looking at him with a blank face.

"I don't understand." Blaine said honestly, trying to understand what was happening. "So you don't want to sleep with me again nor do you want to have feelings for me but you'd like to keep me around?"

"No, that's not it. You... something happened and I'm just trying to keep us in a not too emotional relationship. But I want to be your boyfriend and I want to sleep with you but just. I want to keep it simple. "

Blaine ran a hand over his face, scratching his scalp and shaking his head in disbelief.

"You're not making any sense and I really don't understand. But fine, whatever. Can I ask what happened though?"

"It's not important." Blaine crooked an eyebrow at the statement. " Really, it is nothing. Let's forget about it."

The rest of the date was awkward and later that day when Blaine met up with Jeff he looked really pale.

"Hey Blainers, looking... Like shit. Man, what's up with you?" They both sat on Blaine's couch, indian style.

"I don't know, Jeff. I'm just really tired." Jeff studied him and leaned over the couch to grab a blanket that he threw at his friend.

"Here's, put that around you. You'll be like a sick little burrito, it will be fun." Blaine did as he was told, weakly. "You're really pale, do you have a fever or something?"

"No, I'm just tired. I must be working a bit too hard on our new song or something."

Jeff frowned and poked his friend's cheek before placing a hand over his forehead.

"You look like shit but not in a 'tired and sick' way. It's like someone rolled his truck over you."

"Why, thanks, Jeffy. I'm feeling really glamorous right now." Blaine tightened the blanket around him and leaned to rest his head against the cushion of the couch. "I don't know what's happening to me. I've been sick on and off for weeks now."

"For weeks?"

"Yeah, I've had nosebleeds and headaches and I've been puking, but it's not even lasting half a day every time. I just don't get it."

"Well shit." Jeff offered "Why didn't you tell me before? It's like super important!"

"Jeff, it's just my body reacting weirdly to something but I don't know what."

That stopped the blonde for a second, making him think over what his friend had just told him. "Wait. It's never lasting long?"

"I just told you that."

"Yeah, yeah just checking. And do you have chills? Are you hot then cold? Do you have fever?"

"No, no and no. Since when are you a doctor?" Blaine chuckled softly at his friend's list and how suddenly he looked like someone with a PhD.

"I'm not. But this," Jeff motioned the Blaine burrito in front of him, "is weird. Like you're not sick but you're having syndrome of... When exactly is all this happening? Like is there a common occurrence before any of these?"

"No."

"You sure?"

"Jeff, I'm not worried, okay. It's not like I'm really sick and going to die. I'm very healthy: I go to the gym, I eat fruit and vegetables, I don't drink too much and I go out with Porcelain. So really I'm not worried. If I'm still like that in a week I'll call a doctor."

Jeff scrunched his nose and scratched his scalp frustratingly. It was weird and not the fun type of weird. The blond thought over everything that Blaine had told him, the nosebleed, the headache, the puking and the fact that it was never too long.

"You know what it looks like?" Blaine rolled his eyes and didn't even answer the question, knowing that Jeff didn't really want one. "It looks like Denying Syndrome. But for it to be just that it would have to mean that you actually have to have met your soulmate." Jeff's eyes grew big and he turned sharply to Blaine. "Did you?!"

"No, Jeff. I didn't. You know everything about my love life and right now I'm with Porcelain."

Jeff nodded and after a few minutes of silence, Jeff just turned the TV on to watch some telenovela and imagine the dialogue with Blaine.

It wasn't until a few hours later, when Blaine was lying in bed, that the idea crept into his mind. It didn't hit him like a train but it slowly built until Blaine start to wonder, what if.

What if Porcelain was the one causing him the Denying Syndrome?

What if Porcelain was his soulmate?

What if?