April 28, 2012, 4:49 p.m.
I've Said Too Much, Yet Not Enough: Chapter 3
T - Words: 3,094 - Last Updated: Apr 28, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 12/? - Created: Nov 11, 2011 - Updated: Apr 28, 2012 1,314 0 2 0 0
A banging sounded from downstairs and Blaine jolted up in his bed. Heart pounding, he thought, Damn it, my dad's home! What do I do? Instantly, he snapped his eyes wide open. Instead of the room he expected to see, he looked at the blank walls of a foreign house. But then he remembered. This was the Hummel's house. He was staying at Kurt's house. He was safe.
The pressure that had been building up within his chest was dissipating, but Blaine was still curious of what the noise he heard was. With a quick glace towards the digital clock sitting on the nightstand by his bed, Blaine discovered that it was 5:30 in the morning. Oh yeah, he remembered. It's Monday morning so there's school. Kurt is probably just getting ready. I'm sure that his rigorous skin rituals and elaborate outfits take plenty of time in the morning.
Rubbing the sleep out of his crusted over eyes, Blaine rose from the bed. His feet dragged across the fuzzy carpet as he trudged downstairs in the dark. Personally, I believe that waking up this early is not right in any way. Blaine was obviously not a morning person, and his internal complaining continued as he made his way down the hallway. Getting up before the sun even rises was the most idiotic idea that anyone could have ever imagined. In his mind, Blaine was keeping his thoughts light. There was way to much that he could be worrying about, but instead, he decided that he could just try to pretend that this was another normal morning. Even if it is far from that.
Finally reaching the kitchen, Blaine saw Kurt leaning over the stove, cooking something. Surprisingly, he was wearing only a ribbed tank top and blue plaid pajama pants. His heart began so speed up as he noticed the way that the tight grey fabric of Kurt's shirt clung to his sides and how the muscles in his lean arms moved as his arms worked over whatever he was making. Kurt's pants were slung low on his hips, leaving a small gap of pale skin peeking out from between his waistband and the hem of his tank top.
Silently padding up behind Kurt, Blaine brought his arms around the other boy's waist. Startling, Kurt jumped and tried to spin around. The minute he saw that it was Blaine, his tension melted away. His sparkling blue eyes smiled at Blaine as he relaxed into the arms of his boyfriend. Resting his chin on Kurt's shoulder, Blaine brought his face within inches of the other boy. Inhaling deeply, he caught a whiff of the eggs that Kurt was cooking with tomato and basil, yet the smell that really caught his attention was the hint of vanilla from Kurt's tender neck.
Pressing his lips softly against the hollow underneath the corner of Kurt's jaw, Blaine whispered into his skin. "You have got to stop being so damn irresistible. How am I supposed to survive here with both you and your father when all I want to do is kiss you?" Tracing his lips up Kurt's jaw, Blaine's breathing grew shallower. As he slid his hands down Kurt's sides he could feel his boyfriend's chest rising and falling rapidly. It seemed as if Kurt just couldn't stand it any longer. As Blaine's mouth drew closer to his own, Kurt twisted his head slightly, capturing it in a deep kiss. With a hungry intensity, Blaine's lips moved to match Kurt's. Feeling Kurt press their bodies closer just made Blaine want more. When he was with Kurt he could never get enough, and now that he had a taste of this heaven he was never going to let it go.
Extremely audibly, someone cleared his throat from the other side of the kitchen. Leaping away from each other, they both turned to see Finn standing in the doorway. Through the tired haze that was clear on his face, it was also obvious just how much he wanted to shove Blaine away from his brother. Seriously, Blaine thought with an exasperated sigh, how am I going to be able to live in this house without kissing Kurt or getting clobbered for it?
Out of the corner of his eye, Blaine could tell that Kurt's cheeks were burning with color. Biting his bottom lip, Blaine slid his way over to the table. Hesitantly, he pulled out a chair next to the seat Finn had just slumped into. At least this way he won't be glaring across the table at me.
"Shit!" Kurt exclaimed as he finally remembered that he had been in the middle of cooking before Blaine distracted him. Smoke was now rising from the frying pan and the sizzling was growing louder. Snatching it swiftly from the burner, Kurt flipped its charred contents onto a plate. Eyes fixed in a glare, Kurt took pointed, heavy steps over to the table. Stopping by Finn's seat, Kurt plopped down the plate with a clatter. Blaine attempted to stifle the laughter that was bubbling in his chest as he watched Finn's eyebrows shoot up. On the plate in front of him was a pile of scorched brown blobs that appeared to have previously been an omelet.
Kurt turned towards Blaine with an overly cheerful grin, yet it still wasn't the way the he used to look at him. "Now, how would you like your eggs? Do you want them scrambled, fried, or would you like an omelet like I had originally been making?" Again, his eyes were shooting daggers at Finn, but Blaine found this a little bit undeserved. To be fair, he considered, it was my fault that he got so distracted from cooking. Not that I regret it or anything. The corner of his mouth turned upwards into a lopsided smile, and Blaine wondered to himself how he could just let himself slip back into his slightly feigned personality from before Kurt knew the truth.
"Would you mind making another omelet? The first one smelled very good," Blaine complimented. "Well, at least until it started to burn…" Blaine fully expected it when Kurt's hand hit into the back of his head with a gentle smack, yet he still flinched with theatrical surprise. Tilting his gel free mop of curls backwards, Blaine watched as Kurt's lips curled into a small giggle.
A groan escaped from Finn. "Can you guys please, please try not to do that when I'm here?" He was obviously pouting as he continued, "I truly am trying to eat right now, and it's difficult enough as it is." With a mound of brown on top, the fork in Finn's hand was hovering in front of him mouth. He looked as if he was contemplating the possibility of food poisoning and weighing those chances with his level of hunger. The growling from his stomach decided for him and he hesitantly took a bite, twisted his face into an unpleasant expression, and finally swallowed, the sound of it rather perceptible. Grudgingly, Finn repeated the motion, his face growing increasingly sour, yet his stomach still begging for more.
As Kurt turned away to make a much more adequate omelet, it was obvious that he was satisfied with his work. Though I do feel a little bit sorry for Finn, Blaine decided, I have to admit that I do enjoy this just a little bit more than I should.
Staring off at nothing, Blaine didn't mean to, but his thoughts reverted to a previous worry. In just under an hour, I will have to go back to school. What if the kids there find out that I'm staying in the Hummel's house? To his side, Blaine saw Finn shoveling in his so-called omelet. It looked as if he wasn't even chewing anymore; he was just swallowing so that he wouldn't have to taste what he was eating. What would the boys on the football team do to Finn? His thoughts were spiraling down into the depth of his anxiety. With an uneasy stomach, he began to dread going back to school. What would happen to Kurt? If anything did happen to Kurt, Blaine wouldn't be able to deal with it. It will be my fault if someone hurts Kurt because of I'm staying here. I know I can handle it if they blame me, but Kurt…
Finn's voice broke the silence that had been growing in the room as he addressed Blaine. "So, I usually drive Kurt to school," he stated the obvious, yet Blaine could tell that there was something else he was trying to say. "I was wondering if you wanted to get a ride with us, too? There's just one thing; I kind of pick up Rachel every day." This caught Blaine's attention. If there was any one person not to tell about Blaine staying in the Hudson-Hummel house, it was Rachel. It wasn't that she would bother them or anything; the fact was that if Rachel knew, the news would be common knowledge by the end of that day.
After the offer that Finn had given him Blaine did not want to offend him. Not knowing exactly what to say, he opened his mouth but no sound came out. In his mind, he was trying to figure out how he could still accept the ride without Rachel finding out any unnecessary information.
Chiming in from across the kitchen, Kurt suggested, "I could just tell Rachel that you'll need a ride in the morning from now on? It may work for at least a little while?" At this, Blaine nodded his head vigorously. Thank God I have a boyfriend like Kurt. I seriously don't know what I would have done without him these last few days.
The final bell rang, signaling the end of the school day. Releasing a long sigh of relief, Blaine relaxed the tension out of his shoulders. One day down without any real problems. No one found out about my new housing arrangements and I neither Kurt nor I got a single slushy facial today! It wasn't exactly that all of his troubles had disappeared. Truthfully, he had just stuffed everything deep down to keep pretending. Maybe, if everyone else thought he was just fine, he would really be fine inside too. Day by day, if he just kept persevering, it could happen. I almost made it through one full day, all I have left is to go to Glee club!
That reminded him; he had promised to meet Kurt outside of his classroom so that they could go to Glee together. Gathering up his notebooks and pens as quickly as he could Blaine meticulously organized them inside of his bag. The smallest books went all the way to the front and the scale continued to the other side where the hulking binders were organized. Pens and pencils went into the small outer pocket where his calculator and iPod were stashed away.
Once his bag was packed to his liking Blaine rushed out the door, wishing his teacher a good afternoon as he passed. The hallway was already emptying as the students all clumped in front of the doors where the buses picked them up. Speeding up, Blaine hurried around the corner to where Kurt's last class of the day let out. I hope that he hasn't left already. It wasn't like I was exactly as hasty as I could have been.
Reaching the door to the Math room, Blaine peeked his head inside. A small smile played across his lips as he recognized a familiar figure hunched over a desk. Kurt's hair was ruffled in such a way that would cause him to freak out if he could see it. As Blaine realized this, Kurt ran his hand through his hair again and a stray sprig of hair stuck straight up. Attempting to stifle his laughter, Blaine accidentally let a snort escape.
Snapping his head up, Kurt's eyes rested upon Blaine for a moment before turning back to what appeared to be a test. With a few last taps on his calculator and one more scribbling motion of his hand, Kurt rose from his seat and handed his paper to the teacher. Returning his calculator and pencil to his leather Guess bag, he slung it over his shoulder and swiftly joined Blaine at the door.
Kurt moaned, "Oh my God, I think I just failed that test. Why did I choose to take Calculus BC this year?" Not meaning to, Blaine let out a faint laugh, receiving a glare of death from Kurt's icy blue eyes. "It's not funny! This is serious! If I don't get an A in this class it will drop my GPA below 4.0! How do you expect me to be accepted to NYADA if I'm not completely outstanding?"
Pressing his lips together tightly, Blaine tried not to crack a smile. "It will be just fine," he reassured Kurt. "Anyways, if you don't get in to NYADA you can just join me at NYU. Then we would have more time to spend together," Blaine teased. Kurt didn't find it very funny. Crossing his arms over his chest, Kurt turned his face away. Tugging at Kurt's arm, Blaine made enough room to slip his own hand through the nook of his elbow. "C'mon, baby," he spoke in a sugary tone, "You know I was just kidding around. There is absolutely no way that you are not getting into NYADA." Blaine could see Kurt's cheek rise a little bit as his mouth quirked into a smile and he took it as forgiveness. There, all better.
"Now, we really do need to get to Glee club before Mr. Schuester starts," Blaine proclaimed. "I can't wait to find out what this week's lesson is going to be. Mr. Schue sounded particularly enthusiastic when he reminded me of Glee club today in Spanish class." Picking up their pace, the boys feet matched each other's as the walked in unison. Slowly, Kurt let his arm slide down and he wrapped his gentle fingers through Blaine's. These are the moments that take my breath away, Blaine thought as gave a soft squeeze back, reflecting the feeling in his heart.
In under a minute, the two of them were walking into the chorus room, hands still intertwined. Just as the took seats next to each other, Mr. Schuester took out his dry erase marker and scrawled a word "Diversity" across the white board.
"Um… Mr. Schue, I don't think our Glee club necessarily needs a lesson on this," Mercedes questioned. "Glee has someone from almost every clique, race, and religion. We basically are diversity." Some of the other kids nodded in agreement with this statement.
"Thanks for pointing that out, but it's not exactly what I meant by the word," Mr. Schuester answered kindly. Continuing, he explained, "So, as artists we all have genres of music or certain bands that we prefer to sing the music of, right?" At the slightly annoyed looks that he was receiving from Puck and Rachel, Mr. Schue quickly backtracked. "I'm not saying that this is a bad thing, but this week I want you guys to step out of your comfort zone a little bit. Choose songs that you wouldn't necessarily sing, yet still express your feelings. What I am trying to do here is show you that even though you may not favor a specific band, the main essence of the music that is in your favorite genre is a common thread throughout all songs."
As Kurt's hand shot up in the air, Mr. Schue didn't even ask what he was thinking. "It's fine if you want to do a song originally by a girl just as long as the style of music is something that you don't generally sing." Well, thought Blaine, Mr. Schue is being pretty lenient today.
"Actually, that wasn't what I was going to ask, but thank you for clearing that up for me," Kurt responded. "I kind of already have a song that fits your guidelines and I was wondering if I could sing it? It's even sung by a boy," he added. "Like you had said before, even though it's not something I would generally like I found that the lyrics were important to me." At Mr. Schuester's nod, Kurt rose from his chair and stood in the front of the room.
Throwing a glance Blaine's way, Kurt bit his bottom lip slightly. Kurt doesn't usually get nervous before songs, Blaine considered. Maybe he's just worried about singing a song he isn't used to? As the music began to play Blaine strained to remember the tune, but the minute Kurt started singing he knew exactly what the song was.
I know you've suffered
But I don't want you to hide
It's cold and loveless
I won't let you be denied
Soothing
I'll make you feel pure
Trust me
You can be sure
I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart
As Kurt swayed across the floor, his eyes were trained on Blaine. He's singing this for me, Blaine knew. Even though the tempo of the song wasn't necessarily romantic, Blaine could feel the emotion behind every word Kurt was singing. Now I understand what Kurt was saying. How better could lyrics describe…this? Blaine couldn't think of the right word to describe everything that was going on at the moment, so he settled with "this".
You trick your lovers
That you're wicked and divine
You may be a sinner
But your innocence is mine
Please me
Show me how it's done
Tease me
You are the one
As the words melted on Kurt's tongue, Blaine could feel his heart aching. He understood the sadness in Kurt's ocean eyes and he heard the words that Kurt was singing to him. Please, God, just let them be true, he hoped with all his might.
I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart
Please me
Show me how it's done
Trust me
You are the one
I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart
Coming to the end of the song, Kurt let his voice fade away gently. What Blaine wanted more than anything else was for everything Kurt was singing to be true. Yet he still couldn't believe it. How can someone feel that way about me? I'm too broken to repair.
Comments
I loved it. Cant wait for more!!! I love that blaine is worried about Finn
Oh my gosh... you totally... you're one of THOSE people. Oh, Kara... I'll preserve your status and not tell you what kind of person you are... But to the beginning! I love how Blaine woke up like, "CRAP! DAD'S HOME!" That was intense... I like Blaine loving on Kurt. I like them being close. I love him smelling like Vanilla, i love Blaine not being able to figure out how he could be with Kurt in the house... adorbs. Oh, YES! That was clever of you. I LOVE the avoidance with the whole "driving Rachel" thing. I love Blaine not wanting people to know. I love... I love Finn. I forget sometimes... I love you writing him in instead of just ignoring him. A+ Girl. A+ I LOVE KURT'S HAIR BEING ALL RUFFLED! Oh my gosh, that's the cutest thing I've ever heard. I also love Blaine thinking it's cute just about as much as I do. So adorable... OH, OH! I LOVE THAT LESSON IDEA! THEY SHOULD DO THAT! Have they done that? No. They sang opposite gender once, but... DUDE! And I love Mercedes. That was SUCH a Mercedes line. That was... yes. I can totally picture her saying it. And I love how you did it because it was like... chill. LIke, no weirdo ghetto language. A+! Oh my gosh, I love him not believing it. Soooo so cute.