Kurt must have fallen asleep with his iPod playing… again. Sometime in the middle of the night, he found himself suspended in limbo between a dream world and real life. His ears pricked with the sound of music, and without even bothering to flash his eyes open he swiped his hand right under his neck in a common move that generally caught the wires of his ear buds and pulled them from his ears.

But there wasn't anything there. His fingers didn't touch anything other than just his neck. That was when he realized that the piano music he heard was coming through the wall behind his head. It must be a dream, his brain somewhat coherently concluded. Of course he had dreamed of music before, so it wasn't a strange occurrence.

Either way, trying to make his brain function on such little sleep just wasn't working. Instead, Kurt let fragments of lyrics float through his brain, twining into a dream that he would probably forget by the next morning.

So why do I try, I know I'm gonna fall down,

I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?

It's coming down, down, down.

Limbs lurching off his bed and eyelids snapping open, Kurt's body awoke with a spasm. What was that sound? His subconscious jumped to the question before his brain had a moment to process what was going on.

Resting a hand over his ribs, Kurt tried to force his lungs to stop stealing such huge gasps of air. From the way his heart was leaping around in his chest, it was obvious that something had happened, whether it was just in his mind or not. When he finally managed to take a breath that didn't sound like he had just run a mile, Kurt was able to make the gears in his mind move slow enough to actually think.

Of course, it was just a dream, he realized almost instantly. It wasn't that odd, honestly. Kurt's dreams hadn't been particularly pleasant lately, but he didn't need to complain. All he needed to do was wake up every morning to ascertain that his boyfriend was still there. He just had to make sure that Blaine wasn't back with his father. And every morning, Kurt let the wave of relief wash over him and he pressed a small peck on each cheek of his boyfriend. Despite the fact that every morning Kurt couldn't shake the feeling that there was something missing, the former Warbler was still there, safe. And that was all Kurt needed… right?

Still, there was a part of Kurt that wanted his boyfriend to confide in him. He wanted Blaine to share the memories that were hidden in the hopeless past, knowing full well just how painful it might be.

However, every time that Blaine's face turned to stone and his eyes reflected back the wild look of a trapped animal, he only closed himself off more. It's not like I haven't tried, Kurt reminded himself. I have tried. I've tried so hard. Still, the other boy hadn't been able to share his thoughts, even when Kurt's arms were wrapped around him and that high, lilting voice was whispering that it was more than okay to speak. All Blaine could do was press his lips together and blink his eyes rapidly, telling his boyfriend that everything was just fine.

Why am I even thinking about this right now? Just go back to sleep, the weary boy tried to instruct his body. Forcing his eyelids closed, Kurt figured his heavy mind would fall back into the fog of sleep that still lingered. Seconds later, though, he was gazing around his room, the small light of his clock somehow seeming bright enough to be sunlight. Drowsiness tugged at him, but somehow he couldn't release the tension from his constricted muscles. Thoughts of Blaine were beginning to spin in his head again, and all he wanted to do was just stop worrying.

Just go back to sleep! He wished he could, but simply wishing didn't seem to be accomplishing much. As he rolled over and the sheets twisted uncomfortable around him, Kurt pulled with a strong yank, sending them off the side of his bed. Everything seemed to be frustrating him right now, and even though he hadn't quite figured out why, he assumed it probably had to do with a dream he couldn't quite recall. There was something that he felt like he was supposed to remember from the night before, but he was still so tired that his brain wasn't processing anything.

I should just go to the bathroom, get a glass of water, and then try to sleep again. Maybe when I wake up in the morning I'll remember, but right now I just can't think.

Bleary eyed, Kurt slipped out of bed and blindly grappled for the door to find his way out of the room. Moving down the hallway, he didn't notice that Blaine's bedroom door was wide open, but it wouldn't have really mattered if he had. Nearing the bathroom, Kurt heard a sound that he assumed was just the shifting of the house against the wind outside. As he nudged the bathroom door open with his toes, a small sliver of light from the hallway fell through the doorway.

It was enough to cause his heart to spasm in his chest at the shadow figure standing there. "Oh!" Kurt let out a small puff of air in surprise, recognizing the boy only a second later. "Blaine," he gasped with a laugh, trying to calm his heart.

Instantly, the eyes that had been turned downward flicked up to reflect the dull glow of the lamp in the hallway. Panic surged through Blaine's features as his body jolted with something Kurt didn't know how to describe. …dread? With this terse movement, something slipped from Blaine's trembling hold, and for the fraction of a second before the object hit the floor, Kurt struggled to understand.

It was as if the bottle was shattering on the ground, pills raining down on their bare feet as the plastic container bounced across the tile floor and finally rolled to a stop. Kurt's brain should have registered the fact that the number of pills was only a scarce few as compared to how many should have been in the bottle, but it was a fact that he didn't want to comprehend.

Somehow, all the pieces still weren't coming together. That haze covering Kurt's brain with sleep was beginning to dissipate, but now he didn't want to let it go.

…no…no…no…no…no…

The petrified look on Blaine's face sent a shiver of fear up the nape of Kurt's neck and left a sickening cold in his stomach.

"Blaine?" Kurt's voice crackled, coming out with the brokenness that he didn't even know was inside. "Are you okay?"

Oh, God… please…

Adam's apple bobbing, Blaine made another attempt to swallow. For some reason, when he finally found his voice, the words came out in a rasping whisper. "I'm fine. I just had a headache." Kurt almost found himself laughing at the blatant lie that Blaine's empty eyes were pleading him to believe.

But he couldn't, because he knew the truth. Oh, God, he knew.

No… No… No… No! No! No!

How can it be true?

Honestly, he didn't need to ask that question, because the answer was clear in the other boy's face. The pain that Blaine had masked for so long was now raw on his face, unable to be hidden any longer.

It seemed as if Blaine's legs were giving out beneath him, and the fragile boy dropped to his knees. Instantly, Kurt tried to step forwards and catch him, but paralysis squeezed at his legs. Why can't I do anything? I need to help him! Still, he couldn't make himself do anything.

Blaine's dilated pupils had overtaken the brown of his eyes, yet his fear was disappearing as they stared up at Kurt with an apology. "Kurt," his voice broke, not with pain, but instead with sorrow. Some kind of disconnection was seeping its way into Blaine's features, seizing Kurt's windpipes. "No one was… you weren't… supposed to see this… supposed find me…" Blaine's quavering words shot an icy dagger right through Kurt's heart, only serving to confirm the fears he wouldn't let himself believe. "This was supposed to be the end."

No! No! No! Don't say that!

However, Blaine's words just kept coming, and Kurt felt his insides crumbling. Everything was coming apart, and he still couldn't do anything; he still couldn't make his mind work. "I'm so sorry for everything… I'm so sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry..." At the choked, tearless sob that escaped Blaine's tightened chest, Kurt found his own eyes pooling with the tears that his boyfriend couldn't seem to shed. "There's so much that I wanted to say to you, I just… I just don't know how much more time…"

Kurt had to say something. He had to stop the shaking boy from going any farther, because he didn't think he could handle it. "Don't say that, Blaine… please. We have all the time in the world." Even to his own ears, the lie sounded feeble.

Oh, God, what am I supposed to do? I don't think I can do this. I'm not that strong…

No!

I can be strong enough for Blaine. I can be strong enough for both of us. I need to be strong enough for both of us.

Otherwise… otherwise…

"Kurt," the other boy broke his thoughts with a whisper that seemed to echo around the stagnant room. "Will you do one thing for me?" Everything, Blaine, I'll do everything I can for you. Kurt wanted to tell him, but when he opened his mouth the words couldn't make their way out. With the wetness of tears choking him, the sounds only stuck in his throat. Settling for just a nod, Kurt hoped that that was enough, at the same time knowing that anything he was doing wasn't enough. I haven't done enough for Blaine. Everything I've done hasn't been enough. If it were, everything would be okay. Then, Blaine wouldn't have…

For a moment, the thoughts in his mind blurred around the edges and he couldn't even begin to fathom what to do. "Kurt," the familiar voice uttered, reflections of light shimmering in those dark eyes. "Will you please tell the Warblers that they were the best family I ever had? Tell them that I'll miss them?"

Something still wasn't connecting. Kurt couldn't make himself believe that Blaine wasn't going to be able to tell the Warblers himself. All he could imagine was waking up from this nightmare that was draining the hope from his heart.

All he could imagine was pressing a soft kiss into his boyfriend's lips the next morning, knowing that they were both safe. They were both together and nothing was going to keep them apart.

But what if I don't wake up? What if this is the end?

"Will you, Kurt?" Blaine pleaded with him, and Kurt wasn't capable of responding in any other way than inclining his head in affirmation. At the small nod, the corner of Blaine's mouth twitched into a pitiful attempt at a smile. "Thank you… and Kurt?" This time, Blaine stared straight through his heart with clear, unafraid truth.

"I'll miss you the most… I've loved you so much."

That was all he could take. Something inside Kurt just snapped.

No! This can't be the end! No! No! No! I won't let this be the end! I have to do something! I have to save him!

"No, Blaine! I'm going to be with you, no matter what! You won't have to miss me! I swear, I'm staying with you!" Kurt found himself kneeling on the bathroom floor next to his boyfriend, reaching out with his unsteady arms to hold on to the boy he loved. "Please, Blaine, I love you! I need you!" The boy in his arms trembled, but seemed distant when his eyes met Kurt's.

Why didn't I notice how much he was hurting before? I should have seen it! Maybe I could have done something!

"I'm sorry," he murmured again in a voice that told Kurt those words weren't what Blaine meant.

Blaine had said goodbye.

No! No! No!

Wake up! I need to wake up! Wake up! Blaine needs to wake up!

But the heavy weight that rested with a limp unconsciousness over Kurt's arms wasn't something he could just dream.

Wake up!

A loud ringing was filling Kurt's ears, and he knew he wasn't getting enough oxygen to his lungs, but he could care less. His stomach had just flipped over itself, and now it was engulfing him from the inside. It was swallowing his heart, causing it to flutter in shreds like the ribbons of a torn flag. It was squeezing his lungs into the fist-sized black hole, turning the carbon he hadn't exhaled into coal within him. It was stealing his thoughts, making the lines of reality and imagination blur together into an unrecognizable mass. It was spinning the hands of the clock, speeding the seconds forward faster than Kurt could force his eyes to keep blinking. It was replaying the same name over in his brain like a broken internal alarm blaring in time with the surges of blood through his ears.

Blaine!

Blaine!

Blaine!

Blaine!

Blaine!

"Blaine! Blaine! Blaine! Blaine! Blaine!" With fumbling hands, he tried to hold his boyfriend up from the tile floor. He tried to make him open his eyes and sit up. He tried to make him open his mouth and say that everything was okay.

But Blaine wouldn't.

Blaine!

Blaine!

Blaine!

Blaine!

Blaine!

"Kurt?" Snapping his head around, Kurt's heart stumbled over itself. His mind spun wildly, yet at the same time it was blank with fear and hope.

Only the voice wasn't Blaine's. Standing in the doorway was a woman Kurt had forgotten lived in his house. In fact, he had forgotten that there was anyone else other than Blaine.

The next thing Kurt knew, there was another person on her knees beside him, easing the weight out of his arms. "Oh, God," she whispered with a breath of air. Important facts were failing Kurt, because he couldn't even remember that Carole was a nurse. All he knew was that his boyfriend was being taken away from him, and his instinct was to pull his arms in closer.

Bending down, Carole unsteady hands found Blaine's wrist and began searching for a pulse.

"There's a pulse." At the words he didn't realize he had been waiting for, Kurt let his lungs fill with air for the first time in minutes. He's still alive… he's still alive! He's still alive!

"Kurt?" Carole's voice had lost its usual soothing lilt, now frantic as she tried to rush the words out. "I need you to help me. I need you to get your father so that he can drive us to the hospital. Can you do that?"

The words weren't processing. All he heard was something about his father and the hospital, and he knew that was some sort of question he was supposed to answer. For some reason, though, Kurt couldn't get either his brain or his mouth to form words, let alone sentences.

"Burt! Burt!" Carole hollers right beside his ear didn't even cause him to flinch. "Burt!"

Everything was beginning to feel far away to Kurt, his panic inducing some sort of detachment from reality and vision was blurring around the edges.

His brain had stopped working, the adrenaline from the crisis mashing all of his thoughts into one word. Everything else was beginning to slip by unnoticed. Everything except for that one name.

Blaine.

Blaine.

Blaine.

Kurt couldn't remember his father's reaction upon entering the bathroom. He couldn't remember how mere moments later, Finn had come running in, their whole family now hyperactively aware of the problem that had been hidden in plain sight all along. He couldn't remember how Burt and Finn had managed to get Blaine downstairs and inside the car. He couldn't remember the way Carole kept trying to soothe him, saying that Blaine had taken one of Burt's medications and that it wouldn't cause much lasting damage if the doctors could pump his stomach soon enough. He couldn't remember when Carole had stopped trying to talk through her tears and when his father reached over to squeeze her hand. He couldn't remember his boyfriend's head laying in his lap as he compulsively wove curls around his fingers, praying that the wasn't the last time he could do this.

Blaine.

Blaine.

Blaine.

Suddenly, the warmth of his boyfriend vanished and his heart surged.

Blaine.

Blaine.

Blaine.

Paramedics were surrounding the car, trying to slide Blaine's unconscious body onto a gurney. As they began to roll his boyfriend away from him, something awoke in Kurt's chest.

"Wait!"

"Wait," he cried, flinging open his door and leaping out. "Wait! Wait! Wait!" Kurt's feet hit the pavement of the parking lot and he wavered before Carole grabbed his elbow to keep him from crumpling to the cement. "Wait…" A sob choked off his voice and shook his shoulders.

Blaine.

They're taking him away.

Blaine.

They're taking Blaine away from me.

Blaine.

This may be the last time I see him.

Blaine.

This may be the end.

Blaine.

Carole tried to sooth him, rubbing his back to try to get the wracking sobs to stop. "Shh, Kurt." Her voice was wet and quivering with tears of her own, but Kurt was far beyond noticing. "We have to go into the hospital now." As she led him towards the front doors, he couldn't even protest, no matter how much he wanted to break free and run after Blaine.

All he could do was shuffle forward, his eyes staring blindly forward at nothing. His chest was closing in again, but he didn't care about himself anymore. He wasn't the one that needed to be saved right now.

However, when they entered the hospital, memories tugged at the corners of his mind, trying to remind him of the last time he had been there. He felt Carole lower him carefully into a chair, but he wasn't truly paying attention. His thoughts were too busy filling his head with the horrors that usually disappeared when he woke up in the morning.

But he wasn't waking up. This was reality.

Blaine.

Blaine.

Blaine.

Staring at the white wall, the impact of what had just happened fully hit him, yet he almost didn't feel it through his numb terror.

Blaine.

Blaine… Blaine tried to commit suicide… and he may have succeeded.

Blaine.

Somehow, the acrid stench of antiseptic filling his brain brought the blurred, frenzied thoughts into focus. All of his muscles seized up, squeezing his heart to pieces, constricting his throat, compacting his lungs, doubling him over with a sob trapped deep inside the dark hollows of his chest.

Squeezing his eyes closed and crumpling his brow, Kurt didn't care for once about the possible wrinkle lines forming as a result. He just couldn't stare at the endless floor that was so familiar.

Last time he remembered sitting in this room he was waiting for the doctors to tell him if his father, the man that was his entire past, was going to live.

This time he was waiting for the doctors to tell him if Blaine, the boy who was supposed to be his entire future would live.

This time, it's not the end of my past.

This time, I'm losing my future.

This is the end of my future

This is the end of Blaine.

This is the end of us.

This is the end.