May 27, 2012, 6:56 a.m.
Always a pleasure: The substitute
T - Words: 2,397 - Last Updated: May 27, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 47/? - Created: Dec 20, 2011 - Updated: May 27, 2012 1,000 0 2 0 0
Being gay wasn't easy, especially in a town like Lima, Ohio. Kurt knew this all too well, considering he'd lived in this town for the past seventeen years – his entire life. Still, being gay was no excuse for sexual harassment. He'd never harassed anyone, had he? No. So why did his biggest bully think it was okay to force a kiss on him?
Kurt had been thinking about that for the past few days and wasn't surprised that he still hadn't found an answer to the question. What gave Karofsky the right to steal his first kiss with a guy? Kurt didn't think he'd ever felt so violated before. He'd felt disgusting and, as such, had chosen to skip the rest of his classes and just go home and brush his teeth. And take a shower or two. Maybe more; at some point, it had all started blurring together and before he knew it, he woke up in his bed because his father had come home.
Anyway, Kurt knew that being gay wasn't easy in this town. He understood that Karofsky was probably having a hard time accepting this about himself, but if this was his way of dealing with confusion, he was seriously messed up. Kurt didn't want to know what he'd do next time – though he hoped there wouldn't be a next time to begin with.
And to think, the reason this had even happened was because Kurt was sick of being pushed around every day and had tried to stand up for himself for a change. Now, he just wished that thought had never crossed his mind. It hadn't changed anything, except for the fact that Kurt was now even more scared to walk down the hallways at McKinley High, especially when he was alone.
Which he was a lot, seeing as most of his fellow Glee clubbers walked to classes with their boyfriend or girlfriend, or didn't have the same classes as him.
In short, he was terrified.
He also didn't think it could get any worse.
He couldn't have been more wrong.
When he was standing at his locker that day, there was a strange sense of foreboding. Something telling him to get the hell out of that corridor and to his next class, but he shook it off as nothing. After all, while the locker slams had increased, they were no longer what he was most frightened of. And Karofsky wouldn't sexually assault him in a corridor full of people, right?
He talked to Mercedes as if nothing was going on (she nor anyone else in the Glee club seemed to notice his bullying (let alone that it increased every single day), and if he really meant so little to them, he wasn't going to give them any details either) and then got ready for class. When he was about to turn back to his locker, however, a large hand landed on his shoulder and he did his best not to flinch.
Naturally, it was Karofsky. Just what he needed. All of a sudden, his bully seemed to want to talk about what had happened. More specifically, if Kurt had told anyone about what he still could only call sexual harassment.
Of course Kurt hadn't told anyone. Who was he supposed to tell? After all, his friends didn't really seem to care, and his father had only just had a heart attack. He couldn't deal with all this.
And besides, Kurt knew how difficult being gay could be, remember? So he told Karofsky exactly that, but it didn't seem to settle the bully's worries, if his next words were any indication.
Kill.
He was going to kill Kurt if he ever told anyone.
Karofsky walked away, but Kurt didn't move. For half a second, he couldn't breathe, and the words kept repeating themselves in his head.
He'd known Karofsky was out of his mind, but this – this was way worse than anything else he'd ever done, including that forced kiss a few days prior. The rational part of his mind told Kurt that Karofsky was just scared, and didn't actually mean what he'd said, wasn't really going to kill him. Kurt didn't really want to chance it, though.
He wasn't sure how long it took him to realise that he was still standing in the hallway which was now empty except for him and – Kurt almost jumped – a boy standing in front of him, repeatedly asking if he was okay.
o-o-o-o-o
Being gay wasn't easy, not in Ohio, Blaine knew that much. People just weren't as ready to accept that love didn't just happen between a man and a woman here as they were elsewhere. He knew all about it; after all, coming out in middle school had resulted in Blaine getting beat up two weeks before eighth grade was over. People were cruel, and so were their kids.
His parents – accepting but not fully comfortable with him being gay, though he wasn't sure if that was because of the fact itself or out of fear what people would do to him – had sent him to Dalton Academy after that, so Dalton was where Blaine had spent his freshman and sophomore year. It had been wonderful, but also very sheltered. So when his parents had moved from Westerville to Lima, Blaine had decided to try public school again. His parents were hesitant at first, but in the end, they had made him promise to tell them as soon as anyone was giving him trouble, so they could sent him back to Dalton whenever it was needed.
No one had given him any trouble yet, though, even though it had been 2,5 months since Blaine had started his junior year. He suspected that it might have to do with the fact that he stayed low on the radar, didn't join any school clubs and generally didn't stick out much. While he was, of course, out and proud, he hadn't actually told anyone here, mostly because he'd never needed to tell anyone. They didn't ask, after all. They never talked to him. Which, admittedly, was starting to cause its toll on Blaine because he did feel pretty lonely. Every weekend, he hung out with his friends from Dalton, but during the week, the only people he talked to were his parents. He wasn't shy and he hadn't planned on becoming sort of a loner at McKinley, but it had just… happened.
He supposed being close to invisible had its perks, as nobody would notice if Blaine ever was to eavesdrop on a conversation or something.
He really shouldn't have thought that. Eavesdropping wasn't exactly a polite thing to do, after all.
The next day at school, it was the same old routine. When he stood at his locker in between classes to grab his book, something – or rather, someone – caught his eye. Blaine hastily busied himself with putting his books in the right order to avoid being caught staring (which was pretty ridiculous, seeing as no one caught him doing anything, ever – at McKinley, at least). Even though he hadn't really talked to anyone except teachers here, of course Blaine knew Kurt Hummel. Well, he knew of the other boy. Kind of. He knew his name, that they were in the same grade, and that he was gay. As soon as he'd seen him, he'd had a suspicion, but that suspicion had only been confirmed after repeatedly seeing people hurl insults at the other boy.
And alright, Blaine would admit – seeing all those insults and that physical violence? Definitely not making him any more eager to come out to his classmates.
Kurt was talking to one of his friends – or at least, one of the people he hung out with sometimes. Mercedes Jones, also in their grade, and, judging from their current conversation, straight but single.
Blaine didn't really need to know any of these things, yet they were what he knew about most people at this school. He tried not to listen in to other people's conversations, but he was certain that he could singlehandedly fill the school paper with gossip if he did.
Mercedes was gone by now, and right when Blaine closed his locker, the girl was replaced by a large boy. Right. Dave Karofsky, also in Blaine's grade, bully, football player. Although Blaine had never seen him with a girl, he supposed the boy was straight, simply because that was the easiest thing to do, considering the other knowledge he had of him.
Blaine couldn't hear what Karofsky was hissing at Kurt, and wondered if maybe he should tell the guy to back off or just walk by. Either way, he was now approaching them, and he could just hear the last part of Karofsky's last sentence.
A death threat.
He stared after the bigger boy with his mouth hanging open.
He'd just threatened to kill one of his classmates. Blaine had wondered often enough what kind of messed up school McKinley was, but this was the first time in 2,5 months that he was really, really scared. Maybe if would be better to go back to Dalton. And he wasn't even the person who'd been threatened.
That thought brought him back to the McKinley hallway he was currently in. Kurt himself was standing completely still, shell-shocked, and Blaine knew he couldn't run off now.
"Kurt?" he asked tentatively, but the other boy didn't react. Blaine called his name another half a dozen times before Kurt seemed to notice.
"What?" he asked dazedly.
"Do you want to – go somewhere and talk?" Blaine cursed himself for being so awkward; he must be horribly out of practice.
"Talk?" Kurt repeated. "What – who are you?"
Blaine stuck out his right hand. "I'm Blaine Anderson," he introduced himself. "I transferred here at the start of the year. I'm in a few of your classes, but we've never been properly introduced."
"Oh," Kurt just said. "Sorry."
"Most people haven't noticed me," Blaine said with a shrug. "It's fine. But like I said, do you want to talk about it or something? Or just sit?"
"Talk about what?" Kurt asked, closing his locker. The sound echoed through the empty hallway.
"I… couldn't help but overhear what Karofsky said to you," Blaine told him, suddenly feeling slightly guilty.
"How much did you hear?" Kurt asked, visibly paling.
"He said he'd kill you," Blaine said softly. "You should – you need – "
"No," Kurt interrupted him. "Let's – let's go to the choir room, okay?"
Right, the choir room. Blaine had walked by it countless times by now, and a lot of those times, he contemplated, just for a moment, whether he should join the Glee club. After all, he had been a Warbler at Dalton, and he loved to sing. Up until now, he hadn't completely made up his mind.
"I can't tell anyone," Kurt said as soon as he'd closed both doors to the room and made sure no one was there. "Blaine, you – you can't tell anyone either. Okay? I don't know you, but you seem to know me, which means that you probably know I'm not the most well-liked person here. Stuff like this – it just happens to me. Even if I would tell anyone, I'm not going to be any safer."
Blaine nodded. "Okay." He wasn't going to push this; like Kurt said, he didn't know a lot about him, but he figured that Kurt knew what he was talking about. Besides, Blaine had seen enough these past months. "But if you ever need help, or decide to talk to someone anyway and need a witness, just tell me. And if you ever need to talk about whatever, I'll listen." He smiled self-deprecatingly. "After all, you're the first person I've spoken to ever since I got here, so it's safe to say I won't tell anyone else."
Kurt just stared at him with a calculating look in his eyes. "Why did you talk to me, then?"
"Because you don't deserve the abuse they're throwing at you," Blaine replied. "And because I should've talked to you much earlier. And I've been there and it sucks not having anyone to talk to."
It took Kurt almost half a minute to respond. "You've been there?"
Blaine took a deep breath. "At the end of middle school, some guys beat me up for being gay. I got to spend a couple of days at the hospital thanks to them." He sighed. "After that, I ran. My parents sent me to Dalton for two years, but now I decided to give this whole public school thing another shot. It's just not really going the way I thought it would."
"Okay," Kurt said in the end. "I'll… talk to you when I need to."
"Or if you want to," Blaine said before silently cursing his mouth. "I mean – there aren't that many gay guys our age around here, after all."
Kurt even smiled at this, if only just a little. "I think I'll have to take you up on that offer soon."
"Awesome." Blaine was already writing down his phone number on a slip of paper and handed it to Kurt. "Just give me a call. About whatever. Okay?"
Kurt nodded vaguely. "This is the first time a guy voluntarily gives me his number. Somehow, I'd imagined a different setting for this."
Despite the circumstances, Blaine laughed. "Well, I'm sorry if I'm not living up to your standards."
Kurt was still staring at the paper. "It's definitely not you that's the problem. Never mind." He shook his head as if to clear his mind. "I even made you miss class."
"No one'll miss me anyway," Blaine replied. Maybe the teacher would, but skipping one class wasn't that bad, right? He knew that there were people who skipped at least half their classes, every day. "And I meant what I said. If you ever want to talk about… this Karofsky situation, I'll listen."
"I'll keep it in mind," Kurt promised, giving him a small smile. "Hey, do you want to sit with us for lunch? Knowing my friends, they'll probably just ditch Mercedes and me anyway, so there would be enough room for another person at our table…"
"Sounds great," Blaine replied. "That is, if that's alright with Mercedes…"
"I don't think she'll mind," Kurt said, standing up. "Let's go, then."
As Blaine followed Kurt out of the room, he figured that it was about time he stopped being invisible to the entire school. Also, being gay in Ohio? Blaine suspected that it had just become a tiny bit easier for both him and Kurt.
Comments
Awww sweet and horrific at the same time. Fuck you homophobes and assholes!
I know :\\ Thanks for reading and reviewing!