But, that delightful little moment was a good twenty minutes away. Finn putting yet another fine scratch on Kurt's car was happening now.

"Finn! Watch. The. Car," Kurt spat, sending the most menacing glare he could muster Finn's way.

"Sorry," Finn managed around a yawn, pulling his seat belt on but not sagging against the leather seat the way he usually did. He seemed a little on edge, but it probably had something to do with the five-page paper Kurt knew that Finn had been assigned in English, but that he hadn't seen Finn spend a single nanosecond on. Their neighborhood whizzed by as Lady Gaga blared through the speakers. When "Teeth" came on, Finn reached over to turn the volume completely off.

"If you don't like the song, you can just turn it down. You don't have to turn it off."

"The music's fine. I need to talk to you about something," Finn said as Kurt turned into the Lima Bean's parking lot. He sounded shaky and serious, which told Kurt that he was in for one hell of an awkward conversation. Finn was always awkward when he was trying to be serious. He couldn't help it; it was just Finn. If he wanted to ask advice about Rachel or had a question about homework, he would have just spit it out. No, this was going to be about Kurt, and it was probably going to be a wholly uncomfortable discussion. Kurt needed reinforcement.

"Can I get my coffee first?" he asked. Finn thought it over for a second before nodding. As soon as he acquiesced, Kurt escaped into the warm morning, whipping out his iPhone to text Blaine.

To Blaine:
Finn wants to talk. There's no way this can be good. And if you're thinking of texting me back the word 'Courage', you can just shove it up your ass.

His phone buzzed in his hand after he'd placed his order. He rolled his eyes as he read it while he stepped out of the way to wait for his coffee.

From Blaine:
COURAGE COURAGE COURAGE COURAGE COURAGE

To Blaine:
...Seriously?

From Blaine:
Well, you said I could shove it up my ass. I named my dildo Courage.

To Blaine:
You did not.

From Blaine:
Did just now... ;)

Kurt didn't bother responding to that, just snagged his nonfat mocha from the counter and walked back toward his car, heaving a few deep breaths before getting back in.

"Okay. What did you want to talk to me about?"

"About you and Blaine."

"What about us?" Kurt prodded, taking a long sip of his mocha before setting it carefully in the cup holder and leaving the parking lot. It was like pulling teeth with this one.

"What's going on with you two lately?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Blaine and I are fine. No, we're amazing, actually," Kurt said, sneaking a quick look in his step-brother's direction as he drove. Finn was squirming in his seat and he kept swallowing so big that Kurt considered asking if he should pull over since Finn was obviously having a seizure.

"Are you two having sex?" Finn finally blurted. Kurt laughed nervously, more of a strangled titter than anything else.

"You caught us in the middle of roleplaying the other day. What do you think?" Kurt asked, equal parts embarrassed and annoyed. Was Finn honestly that dense?

"I just... I mean... First he made that 'uptight' comment in rehearsal, and then I caught him wearing pretty much just my football pads, and then whatever in the hell you two pulled in Glee yesterday with those songs. You two are just kind of freaking me out."

"Why? Because we're two guys having sex with each other?"

"No! Because it's all just gotten really weird and, I mean, can't you guys just have normal sex?"

"We do. All the time. Just because we, um, like to spice things up sometimes doesn't mean-" Kurt started, wishing that something, anything, would happen to change the subject. He considered ramming the�Navigator into the car in front of him just to make Finn stop talking.

"Fine, but those songs yesterday, Kurt. Do you have to be so public about it?"

"Brittany and Santana practically made it to third base the other day in the hallway and your locker was right there. Did you have a talk with them about how public they're making their sex life?"

"No, because that's different. Neither of them are part of my family, and I don't care if they get hurt," Finn said, running an index finger up and down the barely visible scratches he'd made on the glovebox, "I just know how much sex can mess things up, and I want to know that you're being careful. That's all."

"We use protection." Why was school so far away? Three more blocks to go, and it might as well have been three miles for as distant as the school looked down the street.

"That's not all I'm talking about," Finn said, sighing and raking his hands through his hair leaving it haphazard and proving how desperately it needed some product, "God, I was tempted to talk to Dad about this, but I figured you'd kill me if I asked him what I should say."

Silence fell heavy around them for a few moments. Finally, a distraction. Kurt had a decision to make. He could ignore what Finn had just said and finish their talk about his and Blaine's sex life. Or, he could focus on the pretty huge word that Finn had just used. Honestly, he did want to say something about that and not just to deflect the conversation away from himself and his scaldingly hot boyfriend.

"You called him Dad," Kurt said, having to clear his throat a little in order to get the words out. Finn's eyes went wide and he looked pleadingly at Kurt.

"Shit, I'm really sorry. I know he's not my dad, he's your dad, and-"

"Finn, it's fine. He's your dad now, too."

"I've never called him that before, though," Finn said, then adding softly, "Not out loud."

"You should. It would mean a lot to him, I think, to know you think of him that way," Kurt said, reaching over to pat Finn's leg. Finn nodded, but then started a little as Kurt killed the engine.

"Oh, we're at school already?"

"Yeah, look at that. Too bad we didn't get to finish our little talk. See you this afternoon!" Kurt babbled, grabbing his bag and coffee and darting away much faster than he knew Finn could ever hope to move between the cars in the parking lot. Once he heard Finn shut the passenger's door, he pressed the lock button on his remote.

He was kissing Blaine less than a minute later, and the awkwardness of the conversation he'd been having with Finn dissipated a little more each time Blaine recaptured his lips.

"So, what did Finn want to talk to you about?" Blaine asked, finally pulling back and taking the cup from Kurt's hand to steal a sip as they started down the hall. Kurt snatched it back, requiring every drop if he was going to make it through his French quiz without passing out from sheer boredom at how ridiculously easy it was.

"He asked if we're having sex." Blaine slowed, and Kurt got a few steps ahead before yanking hard on his boyfriend's hand to pull him flush against his side again. "Did you really think he wouldn't at least be suspicious? Need I remind you of what happened in our kitchen on Wednesday?"

"There's a big difference between assuming and knowing," Blaine said, "So, did you tell him?"

"Of course I did. What was I going to do? Lie? 'No, Finn. I like to dress Blaine up in sexy outfits so we can have tea parties together in the backyard.'"

"He's going to kill me, isn't he?"

"If he hasn't already, I really don't think he's going to now all of a sudden," Kurt said, stopping outside his first period classroom, "I'll see you in forty-five minutes."

"I'll meet you right here. Good luck on your quiz," Blaine smiled. Kurt scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"I could ace this in my sleep. In fact, I probably will," he said.

True to his word, Blaine was leaning against the wall outside the classroom when Kurt jittered into the hallway, flying high on the caffeine and the giant A+ that would undoubtedly be given to him the next day. Kurt kissed him again, because, well, why wouldn't he?

As they walked together down the hall, discussing the ridiculous outfit Blaine had seen Rachel wearing, Kurt lost himself in the sound and delicious woodsy boy-smell of Blaine to the point that he didn't notice when Blaine's face took on a look of confusion. It wasn't until he actually stopped walking that Kurt noticed, following Blaine's line of sight to spy Brittany and Santana standing in the middle of the hallway smiling seductively in their direction. Kurt thought that he might have seen Santana lick her lips, but he had to be imagining things.

"That's... odd," Kurt said, pulling on Blaine's hand again, and walking until they met the girls, as was obviously their intention, "Ladies."

"Hi," Brittany smiled.

"How's it going?" Kurt asked. Blaine seemed to be a selective mute all of a sudden, but he wasn't used to dealing with all the crazy here yet. It was only the second week of school, so Kurt really didn't blame him for not knowing what to say to them.

"I'm just going to say it," Santana said, "For some reason, the thought of you two going all Brokeback on each other gets my lady parts wetter than Niagara Falls."

"Totally," Brittany chimed in.

"Oh my god," Blaine muttered, his voice distant, low, and frankly, completely terrified sounding.

"Do you have a point here, Santana?" Kurt managed to squeak out, death-gripping Blaine's hand.

"We were just wondering if you two wanted to play sometime," Brittany offered.

"Play?"

"The naked kind of play," Santana said. Kurt's eyes opened wide and the urge to laugh was immediately suppressed when he realized that she was actually serious.

"I'm not having sex with you. Either of you. And neither is Blaine," Kurt sputtered. Santana rolled her eyes, Brittany bit lightly on her bottom lip, and Kurt was too uncomfortable himself to look over at Blaine to see the dumbstruck look that was assuredly donning his face.

"Oh please. We don't want to have sex with you. We want to watch you two, and you can watch us, too."

"Two girls going at it really doesn't do it for us. Sorry," Kurt said.

"I told you he'd be a total prude about it," Santana said to Brittany.

"So not a prude," Kurt defended, starting to walk away and having to drag Blaine along with him. Again. When they were a few feet past, Kurt stopped and turned to face them. "Hey, remember back when you two never used to talk to me?"

"Yeah."

"Let's revisit that for the rest of the day. Okay?" Now it was Blaine's turn to pull him down the hall.

"Did that seriously just happen?" Blaine asked through gritted teeth.

"Welcome to McKinley."

Part Two
Kurt plopped down at the lunch table across from Mercedes, and it took all of two seconds for her to send a concerned look in his direction. He had been trying to outwardly project the awfulness of his mood with an intentionally dramatic sigh and the deadest eyes he could conjure, after all, and Mercedes was always good at picking up on his shifts in temperament.

"What's wrong?" she asked, setting her fork down and giving him her full attention.

"My patience is being severely tested today," he informed her, spearing a forkful of salad with far more force than necessary before shoving it into his mouth. Ever since Santana and Brittany had propositioned and thoroughly eye-fucked him and Blaine after first period, Kurt just hadn't been able to shake the feeling of severe discomfort. It had almost been traumatic enough to make him forget about Finn's awkward babbling in the car. Almost.

"You want to talk about it?"

"No!" Blaine barked, butting in as he sat down next to Kurt. Immediately, he slid over until their thighs and arms touched, prompting Kurt to smile despite himself.

"Okay, spill it, boys." Mercedes grinned at them, ready to receive what she had clearly decided was going to be particularly juicy gossip.

"Well, first, Finn tried to have a sex talk with me on the way to school,"�Kurt started.

"I'm sure that was special and not at all awkward."

"Completely,"�Kurt replied dryly, "And then, Brit-"

"Kurt! Don't tell her!" Blaine said, flushing embarrassedly. Kurt turned slowly, raising an eyebrow impossibly high at his boyfriend as he swiveled on the seat. The same boy who had absolutely no shame or qualms about begging to be sucked off when tied to his headboard or dressing up as a police officer hell bent on arresting Kurt for 'being too sexy' didn't want Kurt to tell his best friend about their awkward encounter with McKinley's power lesbian couple?

"Oh my lord, just tell me." Mercedes rolled her eyes and stabbed a chicken nugget with her fork.

"Either I tell her now or I call her later and tell her,"�Kurt shrugged. Blaine sighed and made a flippant gesture with his hand as if to say "If you must, you a-hole" and Kurt continued. "We were walking down the hallway and Brittany and Santana stopped us. They asked if we wanted to play with them."

"Play?"

"The naked kind of play," Blaine clarified via direct Santana quote, something that Kurt was pretty sure had never happened and would never happen again. Mercedes' eyes flew open wide and she just gaped at them for a moment before erupting into laughter so loud, Kurt was pretty sure their old classmates at Dalton would be able to hear her. "It's not funny."

"It's kind of funny," she managed, still giggling as she wiped at the corners of her eyes and heaved some deep breaths to get herself under control, "They want a foursome with you two?"

"No, they just want to watch us have sex. Honestly, I would be less horrified if they did want a foursome,"�Kurt said, shuddering lightly before eating another bite.

"I�mean, can you imagine that?�Actually wanting to sit right there and watch another couple have sex?" Blaine asked, shaking his head and taking a rather huge bite of his chicken sandwich, "I�mean, what were they planning to do? Bring popcorn?"

"Chew before you talk, honey,"�Kurt said. Blaine rolled his eyes and swallowed down his bite. God he was cute when he furrowed those amazingly huge eyebrows of his.

"I'm sorry. I'm so disturbed I'm losing all sense of decorum."

"Isn't that what porn is?"�Mercedes asked, ignoring their side conversation and getting back to the point.

"Yeah, but it's not people you know," Blaine said, "And what do two lesbians want to watch us for?�I certainly don't want to watch them." He looked a little green and Kurt made an 'Oh, you poor baby' face while rubbing his thigh. And he almost definitely hadn't intended for his hand to slowly rub higher and higher until Blaine actually slid a few inches away. Clearly, his little incident in the bathroom with Mr. Schue the day before had been traumatic enough for him to shy away from Kurt's touches for, well, pretty much the first time ever.

"Though they offered to let us,"�Kurt finally added, feeling himself start to relax for the first time since stepping inside the building that day.

Talking about it with Mercedes, who was able to see the hilarity of the situation, was helping. Now if only they could trust that she would keep her mouth shut about the whole thing. She didn't exactly have the greatest track record about keeping secrets, though, so Kurt didn't have high hopes. They finished their lunches discussing far more demure topics, and as they tried to leave the cafeteria, Miss Pillsbury stepped out in front of them.

"Boys, I need to see you in my office," she said, hands brushing nervously at the sides of her impeccable jade pencil skirt.

"I'll see you guys in Glee,"�Mercedes said, escaping and sending a sympathetic look over her shoulder just before she disappeared around the corner.

"But, we have class," Kurt said, trying to step around the obviously nervous guidance counselor. She countered his movement surprisingly easily in her sky high Michael Kors pumps, again blocking their path.

"I'll write you a pass." Her big brown eyes were staring pointedly at them, and Kurt and Blaine shared a nervous look before following her to her office.

Two minutes later, they were seated across from Miss Pillsbury's freakishly organized desk. Kurt was tidy, but even he got the urge to flick something out of place when she wasn't looking. It was just too organized, and it never failed to inflame his inner and oft-ignored rebellious streak. Well, ignored outside of the bedroom, that was.

"What did you need to talk to us about, Miss Pillsbury?" Kurt asked politely, actually grabbing onto the arm of his chair to keep himself from pushing her stapler askew.

"Mr. Schuester came and talked to me after your Glee rehearsal yesterday,"�she said.

"About what?" Kurt was trying really hard to pretend like he had no idea what she was referring to, but the nervous quavering of his voice was surely giving him away.

"I think you know what, Kurt. The songs that you two sang were incredibly inappropriate, and he wanted me to talk to you about-"

"We were supposed to sing our feelings. The song I sang repeatedly stated 'I love you,' and that's how I feel about Blaine,"�Kurt said, thinking quick on his feet. The hyperactive monkey that had taken up residence in his chest, flinging itself around inside his rib cage needed a healthy dose of Adderall.

"Kurt, you sang a very... sexual Barry White song, and Blaine-"

"I was just doing the assignment,"�Blaine blurted, "And I sang it because of the lyrics 'You're the sun who makes me shine. When you're around, I'm always laughing.'"

"You sang "I Touch Myself," Blaine," Miss Pillsbury stated, her cheeks redder than Kurt had ever seen them, "I think everyone knew why you were really singing it." Kurt didn't know whether to laugh at her obvious discomfort or to run screaming from the room.

"Are we in trouble?" Blaine asked, sounding more terrified than he had the first time Kurt had come at him with a pair of handcuffs.

"I mean, it's not like this was the first time an inappropriate song has been sung in there. Not by a long shot," Kurt added.

"You're not in trouble. Mr. Schuester just wanted to make sure that you two are being mature about your, um, relations." Kurt forcibly rubbed a hand across his forehead. Was this seriously happening?

"We are. Very, very mature. Yesterday was just..." Kurt trailed off, literally unable to finish. What was he supposed to tell her?�That he was punishing Blaine for having verbal diarrhea in Glee rehearsal and then failing to follow his orders whilst making hideous and smelly football pads look sexier than Kurt could have imagined in his wildest, mind-bendingly steamy dreams?

"A lapse in judgment,"�Blaine finished for him. Kurt nodded emphatically.

"A lapse in judgment,"�Kurt repeated, hoping that she would just let them leave. The AP Government class he was missing was suddenly sounding more enticing than the Annual Sound of Music Sing-a-long.

"Boys, being intimate is something that should be personal and kept between the two of you. Being flashy about it only shows immaturity. Sex is a big deal, and-"

"We know, Miss P. It'll never happen again,"�Kurt interrupted. He would offer to tap dance naked through the mall if it would get her to stop the lecture.

"Excellent. You know, the Celibacy Club meets on Wednesdays after school," she said.

"Oh, no. The, uh, the intimate stuff is definitely happening again,"�Kurt stammered, earning an sharply placed elbow from Blaine

"But we won't bring it into Glee club. Again. Ever," Blaine said emphatically before lowering his voice, "You're not going to call my dad, are you?"

"No! Again, you aren't in trouble. Mr. Schuester and I just wanted to talk to you before it became something that could get you in trouble. If you ever need to talk about anything, I'm always here. And I want you to take some pamphlets," she said, holding out a sizable stack of the things that Kurt had learned to fear and loathe above all other items in the world after the heinously awkward sex talk he'd had with his dad the previous spring. Blaine nodded politely and snatched them from her hand. Kurt peeked down to see that the top one was titled "Help! My Boyfriend Wants to Touch Me Down There!"

"Thank you for your time, Miss Pillsbury,"�Blaine said, obviously having relocated his manners on the way to her office. She nodded, looking as relieved to have the talk finished as they were, and handed them two hall passes. They practically dashed into the hallway, shutting the glass door behind them.

Once they were a few feet away and out of her line of sight, Blaine crumpled against the wall, slowly crushing the pamphlets to death in his palm.

"What the hell is going on today?"�he asked, "I've never been sent to a counselor in my life.�This is ridiculous!"

Kurt felt his stomach seize up, and he latched onto Blaine's arm as panic spread hot and hysterical through his veins.

"Please don't break up with me," he begged, "I'm really sorry about yesterday. I never should have done that and-"

"Break up with you? Are you kidding me?�You're the only thing keeping me sane at this school. I mean you drive me totally crazy in a good way, but yeah, this place is nuts."

"Oh thank god,"�Kurt said, dropping against the lockers beside his boyfriend, "I mean, thank god you aren't upset with me. But, I'm sorry that you don't like it here."

"I didn't say that. It's just so different. I was always so poised at school, doing exactly what I was supposed to do. But with you, I get so relaxed and I'm so happy that sometimes all of that just goes out the window. All I could think about after I got back from the bathroom yesterday was that I wanted to sing just as sexy of a song to get you back so you would punish me again. You have completely turned my world upside down, Kurt Hummel, and I love you for it. You might be the death of me, but I love you."

"I love you, too," Kurt said, giving Blaine a lingering kiss, "Now get to class. Finn's going to have enough questions about why you're late already."

"What should I�tell him?"

"That it's none of his business,"�Kurt stated matter-of-factly as they started down the hall together.

"Don't you think that'll make him even more suspicious?"

"Yes, I do,"�Kurt grinned, stopping outside of his classroom, "I'll see you in Glee."

"At least we know the day can't get any worse than this," Blaine said, intending to be encouraging, but the look of complacency on Kurt's face morphed into one of rage in seconds, "What?"

"Why would you say that?"

"Say what?"

"You just jinxed us!"

"Tell me you don't actually believe in that." Blaine smiled, shaking his head.

"I didn't, but after the insanity that today has been, I'm not ruling anything out," Kurt said, pinching the bridge of his nose and taking a few deep breaths to steady himself, "If anything else weird happens today, it's your fault."

"Yeah? And what are you going to do about it?" Blaine raised his eyebrows slightly and darted out his tongue to lick at his bottom lip. Kurt had to use every ounce of his already feeble self-restraint to keep from throwing his boyfriend against the lockers and having his way with him. But then he remembered something important.

"Absolutely nothing.�You enjoyed your last punishment too much. So now, your punishment will be the cold shoulder. Prepare yourself for my icy wrath,"�Kurt said before spinning on his heels and heading into the classroom leaving Blaine grasping at verbal straws in the middle of the hall.

By the time rehearsal rolled around that afternoon, Kurt had allowed himself to fully shift into an academic mindset. Well, he more had to force himself since all of his classes were tremendously boring, but he'd managed to make it happen and that was the important part. Blaine was waiting for him outside the room, and they entered hand-in-hand. Almost as soon as they'd stepped over the threshold, however, they stopped. Three things were not right about the situation they'd just stepped into: Brittany and Santana had taken over the chairs that the boys usually occupied in the back row, Mr. Schuester was sitting on a stool in front of the group with a serious look on his face, and every single pair of eyes in the room had turned to them as soon as they'd walked in.

"Kurt, Blaine, come take a seat,"�Mr. Schuester said.

"There are plenty of seats back here," Santana said just before she and Brittany each patted the empty chair next to them. Mercedes snorted as she bit back a laugh, and Kurt and Blaine went to occupy the two empty seats beside her.

"I think that we need to have a discussion about song choices in this group,"�Mr. Schuester said somberly.

"Thank god. Can we please put an end to any song made famous by anything even remotely resembling a Steve Perry fronted band?"�Kurt suggested.

"Not exactly what I'm talking about, Kurt,"�Mr. Schue said, prompting Kurt to shrink back into his seat, "Now, ever since this group first started, we've been overstepping boundaries. I'm as much to blame for this as any one of you, but it needs to stop. This is a school group. We are representing McKinley High, and we need to adhere to the school's rules and code of conduct."

"If this is about yesterday, we're... we're really sorry," Blaine interrupted.

"Yesterday made me realize how much I've been putting off this conversation with you all.�I don't want to squash your creativity, but we have got to keep things cleaner in this room."

"I liked their songs, Mr. Schue,"�Santana cooed from the back row.

"Me, too,"�Brittany added. Kurt gave Mercedes a preemptive glare before she even had the chance to start laughing.

"I think I got pregnant just from listening to them," Lauren said.

"Me, too," Artie laughed, the rest of the class--sans Kurt and Blaine--joining him.

"It's not just about yesterday,"�Mr. Schuester said, "Yesterday just made me realize how much I've been putting this off. We're not going to discuss it any more.�From now on, all song choices have to be cleared by me before you sing them for the class. If you deviate, then you're buying yourself a ticket to Principal Figgins' office."

"Thanks a lot, Hummel,"�Puck grumbled from the other side of the room.

"As if rules have ever stopped you before,"�Rachel spat back at him.

"Fair enough,"�Puck agreed, shrugging and relaxing back into his seat.

"Now that we've established some ground rules, it's time to let Finn sing the song he's prepared this week," Mr. Schuester said.

"You are so getting the silent treatment," Kurt whispered to his boyfriend through gritted teeth.

"We can make it through the rest of the day," Blaine whispered back, clearly loving the exasperated look on Kurt's face, "Courage, babe." Kurt set his demeanor to Icy Wrath, and begrudgingly turned his attention to his step-brother at the front of the room.�

He'd warned Blaine.�He really had.

Part Three
When the final bell of the day rang, Kurt would have skipped out of the room with excitement had he not been so excruciatingly mortified. So, he settled for stalking out, Blaine hot on his heels. As he rushed past a trophy case, he caught his reflection, prompting him to huff and hurry even more. A hideous red tint had permanently taken up residence on his cheeks, and only two days of being far away from this hell hole would make it go away.

"I�know that you're giving me the silent treatment right now, but your dad invited me to your Friday night dinner. Am I still coming?" Blaine asked, rushing to fall in step beside Kurt.

"Of course," Kurt replied, looking slightly affronted, "Unless you don't want to."

"I want to. Very much,"�Blaine said, taking a risk and reaching for Kurt's hand. Making sure to don his most disinterested look, he accepted Blaine's advance. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Blaine smirking. He wanted to be annoyed, but his boyfriend was just too cute. The bastard.

"Well, it's the least you can do after how your little comment made today infinitely worse than it already was."

"What just happened in rehearsal was not that big of a deal. Not compared to what happened with Miss Pillsbury and with Brittany and Santana."

"Blaine, Mr. Schuester had a talk with the Glee club specifically because of the songs that we did yesterday."

"Really can't blame him for that,"�Finn added as he joined them on their trek across the parking lot. Kurt scowled at him and aggressively yanked open the driver's door. Finn took the backseat like he always did when Blaine was with them, and he carelessly tossed his backpack into the back. It hit one of the windows, and Kurt cringed at the sound. "I'm so glad this week is over."

"Unless you've had the week that Blaine and I have had, you do not get to celebrate," Kurt told him.

"What's up with you?" Finn asked.

"It's been a really long day,"�Kurt said, climbing in and immediately smacking Blaine's hand as he reached for the stereo, "I need Gaga right now."

"Don't you think you're being a little dramatic about this, Kurt?"�Blaine asked, clearly trying not to smile.

"Have you met me?" Kurt sassed, turning up the volume as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"Ooo! Hand sanitizer!" Finn exclaimed from the backseat, "AH! Not hand sanitizer!"

"What is it?"�Blaine asked, turning in his seat to look.

"KY Jelly. What is this doing back here? Oh my god. You guys have sex back here!"

"It's my car, Finn.�If I want to have sex with my boyfriend in here, I will,"�Kurt snapped. Blaine smiled nervously and took the bottle from Finn’s outstretched and shaking hand.

"But I sit back here all the time!" Finn exclaimed, lifting up into an awkward squatting position that had to be killing his legs.

"Relax.�We always put a blanket down." Finn looked around, and when his eyes grazed over the open back of the Navigator, his mouth dropped open and he went lunging over the back of the seat. A resounding thunk sounded as his head smacked into roof from his lumbering, awkward movements.

"That blanket?" he asked, his voice rising, "My backpack was on it!"

"Oh my god, Finn! It's not like it has come all over it right now!"

"GAH!" He dropped his backpack and tumbled back onto the seat as he slapped his hands over his ears.

"I always wash it after we're finished."

"Stop!"

"Which is at least four times a week,"�Kurt added, not missing the fact that Blaine was watching the entire encounter with rapt, thoroughly entertained attention. All he was missing was a tub of popcorn and a giant screen in front of him.

"Seriously!"

"It's not my fault that my boyfriend can move his tongue in ways that should be illegal."

"Why are you saying these things?!" Finn demanded, now yelling.

"Because I've HAD A BAD DAY, FINN!" Kurt raised his voice, fully shouting back now, "And since you were the one to start it, making you uncomfortable is making me feel better."

"What did I do?"

"You tried to have some weird bumbling sex talk with me on the way to school this morning. Which was just how I�wanted to start my day, by the way. And then Brittany and Santana asked if they could watch Blaine and I have sex some time, and-"

"Why do Brittany and Santana want to watch you have sex?" Finn blurted, his face completely horrified in the rear view mirror. Kurt narrowed his eyes, fueled on even more by the interruption.

"Then Miss Pillsbury brought us into her office to make sure that Blaine and I are being 'mature' about our 'sexual relations', and-"

"She what?"

"Stop interrupting me,"�Kurt spat, "And then Mr. Schue had that talk with us in Glee-“

"What you two did was super inappropriate." It was official. Kurt was going to murder him. Sometime in the near future, when he least expected it, Kurt would murder his step-brother and feel absolutely no remorse or guilt about it. He took a deep breath, preparing to finish his train of thought no matter what idiocy erupted from Finn's mouth.

"So, the last thing that I�need right now is you freaking out over some GOD DAMNED KY JELLY AND A CLEAN BLANKET IN THE BACK OF MY CAR!"

"Well I just picked it up and it's something that you guys use in the middle of having sex. Now, do you have some real hand sanitizer, because after touching that, I�think I�need some."

"OH MY GOD. JUST SHUT UP, FINN. JUST. SHUT. UP!" Kurt shrieked, beating one hand against the steering wheel as he drove while Finn continued his hysterical, nervous babbling from the backseat, something about ‘Why are you yelling at me so much?’

“You need to relax, dude!” Finn finally managed to articulate in amongst Kurt’s screams.

“No, what I need is for you to stop letting every moronic thought in your head spill out without provocation. I need to listen to precisely two Lady Gaga songs between here and home. I need to forget that today ever happened, and I need for Blaine to stop staring at me like that!” Kurt ranted, turning his attention over to his boyfriend as he slowed to a stop at a red light.

“You are so adorable when you’re angry,” Blaine said, leaning over the console only to find himself held at arm’s length by Kurt.

“No, I’m still mad at you.” Blaine wrapped a hand around Kurt’s forearm to pull it away so he could sneak closer.

"So sexy," he murmured before placing a quick, sloppy kiss on Kurt's cheek. Kurt reached forward and twisted one of Blaine's nipples hard through the thin fabric of his shirt to get him to move back into his own seat and out of Kurt's bubble of comfort. "Come on, babe, you know that's only going to make me try harder." Kurt didn't miss the special emphasis that Blaine placed on that last word, and apparently Finn didn't either. He groaned loudly and shoved an index finger in each of his ears and shut his eyes.

"I so need an iPod," he grumbled.

Part Four
"Your face is still red," Blaine teased as they pulled into the driveway.

"And I'm still not talking to you,"�Kurt sassed, pretty much bursting from the car and stomping across the driveway.

"I'd say that you need to get laid, but I'm pretty sure that's the cause�of all your problems right now,"�Finn muttered, earning himself a seething death glare and prompting Kurt to draft a number of new and creative ways to murder his step-brother in the future.

"I'm not talking to you either."

"Well, this is going to be a fun evening," Blaine said, rubbing a hand across his eyes as he went in the front door behind them. Kurt was already halfway up the stairs when Burt's voice boomed through the lower level.

"Kurt, I�need you in the kitchen," he called out.

Kurt froze, hand latched onto the railing and heaved a huge sigh. He spun on the step only to receive a light shoulder bump from Finn as he continued to ascend up to the safety of his bedroom. As Kurt passed Blaine in the foyer, he jerked his head in the direction of the kitchen, indicating that he should follow. He knew that he was being a little ridiculously dramatic, even for him, but he couldn't just let it all go now. The embarrassment of the day had manifested as a huge undigestable lump in his stomach and only time would break it down. Blaine did follow, and when they reached the kitchen, they found Burt sitting at the table with a serious look on his face.

"Oh good, I'm glad you're here, too, Blaine," he said. This was not going to be good.

"Look, Dad, we had a really long day and-" Kurt started, but his dad cut him off.

"Well, I'm sorry about that, but we need to talk." Definitely not good.

"What about?" Kurt asked as he and Blaine both dumped their bags on the floor and sat at the table across from Burt. Kurt tried to quickly read his dad's body language. He had only one hand resting on the table in front of him and his shoulders looked tense. It was definitely a look that Kurt had seen before: a look of preparation for something that Burt wasn't looking forward to.

"I found this in your room today," he said, bringing his other hand up to the table and slapping something down on the surface. When he raised his hand, a half ripped gray condom wrapper lay on the smooth wooden tabletop. Blaine clunked both of his elbows on the table and dropped his face into his hands, but all Kurt could do was gape open-mouthed at the tattling object. This was not happening.

"Why were you digging around in my room?"�Kurt demanded once he remembered how to work his vocal chords.

"Last� I�checked, my name is on the mortgage. It's my house, and I'll go into whatever room I want whenever I want to," he said. Kurt wanted to disagree, to say that it was his room and Burt had no business poking around in there, but it wouldn't do him any good. In fact, it would only serve to make things about a billion times worse. "I wasn't snooping, but Carole said that you didn't bring down your garbage when she asked you to, so I�was making sure it got dumped before the truck came today. This was behind it on the floor."

Kurt just stared at his dad while Blaine finally raised his head again. His handsome face was glowing such a brilliant shade of red, Kurt swore that he could feel the heat radiating off of him. Though he was rarely at a loss for words, Kurt found himself internally stammering and stuttering as he tried to figure out what in the hell to say to his father.

"Care to explain this to me?" Burt asked when a ridiculously long period of time had passed by in awkward silence.

"I don't really know what to say,"�Kurt finally admitted. The way his dad was looking at them was making Kurt's skin crawl. He didn't look mad. If he had looked mad that would have been better. In all those years of it being just the two of them, he had gotten really good at diffusing his father when he got too worked up about something. But the look on his face now was covered in... disappointment.

"Well, I do. I'm glad that you two are being safe, but I am really disappointed in you. This house is not a Motel 6," Burt said.

"What do you want me to say, Dad?�That we're not going to do it anymore?" Kurt couldn't bring himself to look his dad in the eye at the moment. It was one thing for Burt to know that he and Blaine had been dating for months, it was quite another for him to know for certain that they were having sex. At least he didn't know how often and in how many creative ways.

"Look, you're both eighteen, so there's not a hell of a lot that I can do about it. I can tell you not to, that you should wait until you're older because having sex is a big deal, but it won't do any good. What I can say is that I'm upset about you taking advantage of my trust. I've trusted you two alone in this house, and I'm not happy that you two have been abusing that."

"What... I mean... where..."�Kurt tried. He really was trying, but how could he just sit there and ask his dad what he wanted them to do instead? If they couldn't take advantage of stolen moments in a bed rather than in the back of his car, then what exactly did Burt expect them to do? Of course, he couldn't actually say those words out loud because, well, who the hell could?

"I think he means that if we say we're going upstairs to watch a movie, then that means we need to go upstairs to watch a movie,"�Blaine said, his voice quavering though it was obvious that he was trying really hard to stay calm.

"With the door open,"�Burt interjected.

"It always is, Dad,"�Kurt said.

"Obviously not always,"�Burt countered.�

Kurt flushed for about the ten thousandth time that day and pressed his lips together into a thin line. He wished that Finn would come in to diffuse the tension with more stupid comments, or that Carole would come start dinner. But, the kitchen was as silent as the rest of the house. There was nothing but nervous awkward Blaine and his disappointed, stern-eyed father.

It was official. It was the worst day that Kurt had experienced in all of high school. This was worse than the day he got his first slushie facial. Worse than the day Mercedes had gone psycho batshit and busted the windshield in his Navigator. Worse than the god-awful day when he'd watched Blaine make a Grade-A ass out of himself in the GAP.

Okay, maybe it wasn't worse than the day Karofsky had lip raped him or the day he'd had his life threatened.

So fine, it wasn't the worst day, but it was definitely the most awkward day he'd experienced, well, ever.

"So, can we go do our homework now?"�Kurt asked, already rising.

"I'm not done yet,"�Burt said. Kurt flopped back down into his seat, pouting and hugging his arms across his chest. He really did want to do his homework. Hell, he'd do Finn's and Blaine's too if it got him out of the rest of this conversation.

The condom wrapper was taunting him. "Oh sure, the sex was awesome, and watching Blaine rip me open with his teeth was insanely hot, but I didn't quite make it into the garbage can. Oops! Sucks to be you, Kurt!" God, the wrapper was such a dick.

"Last spring, you wouldn't even talk about sex and now I find this in your room?" Burt gestured toward the asshole of a wrapper as if they didn't know what he was talking about. Blaine definitely did. That much was obvious from the still neon tinge to his face. "Look, I like you, Blaine. But I can unlike you real quick just like how I unlike Rachel every other week when she's messing with Finn's head. Kurt, I just want to know that he hasn't been pressuring you."

Blaine's eyes opened wide, his thick eyelashes reaching up to graze against his eyebrows. Did he have to look so gorgeous all the time? Didn't he know how fucking distracting it was?

"Blaine?�Pressuring me? Absolutely not. Seriously. He was saint-like. The patron saint of patience,"�Kurt babbled. Blaine just nodded dumbly. He even looked hot when he was being a bizarro selective mute. What a bastard.

"I was a teenage boy once, too. I�know how it is. All I�know is that Blaine here wanted you to know about sex last spring, and then you're dating him like a week later, and now this?"

"Nothing happened until we were... wait. What?" Kurt asked. Blaine's face turned even redder.�If he hadn't been so blindsided by his dad's last comment, Kurt would have been considering taking a picture of Blaine's stupid sexy face and sending it to Crayola so they could create a new shade of red called Blaroon or something.

"I, uh," was all Blaine was able to get out.

"I figured he would have told you about that by now,"�Burt said. Now it was his turn to look embarrassed.

"Blaine wanted me to know about sex?�What?" Kurt asked, looking back and forth between them. What in the actual fuck were they talking about?

"After we sang 'Animal' last spring, I was really worried about you because you seemed to have a lot of hang-ups and insecurities about sex. I went to talk to your dad, encouraging him to use his good relationship with you to talk to you about it so you didn't get into a bad situation the first time you were with someone," Blaine said, speaking far faster than Kurt had ever heard him talk before.

"And that's when�I had that talk with you. You know, with the pamphlets,"�Burt added. Kurt let out a nervous, strangled little laugh and stood up. Sitting was bad. When he was sitting, he wasn't in control of anything, and right now he really needed to feel in control because Blaine had told his dad to talk to him about sex?

"How is it even possible that I'm just now hearing about this?" Kurt demanded.

"I didn't do it because I wanted to get into your pants," Blaine said, turning in his seat to face Kurt, "I hadn't realized how I�felt about you yet, and I was just concerned about you as a friend.�You wouldn't talk to me, and I�knew that it would be an awkward talk with your dad, but you needed to talk to someone."

"I�can't believe this."�Kurt shook his head and walked out of the room. He heard a chair scrape across the floor and footsteps hurry after him.

"The door stays open!" Burt called after them.

"So not a problem right now, Dad!" Kurt yelled before tearing up the stairs. Blaine was right behind him and when Kurt stormed over to his bed and flung himself down on top of the comforter, Blaine was right beside him.

"How mad at me are you?"�Blaine asked, turning onto his side and taking in Kurt as he glared at the ceiling.

"You told my dad that he needed to talk to me about sex and then shortly thereafter you realized that you had feelings for me?�How did my dad not chase you out of the house with his flamethrower?" Kurt asked.

"It wasn't like... your dad has a flamethrower?" Kurt huffed and sat up.

"What were you thinking?!"

"I was thinking about you. Just because I hadn't gotten my head out of my ass yet didn't mean that I didn't care about you. I cared about you so much that I was willing to risk your dad hating me or thinking I was only out to get into your pants just so that you would be prepared the first time you found yourself in a sexual situation. Is that seriously worth getting mad at me about?" Blaine asked. His cheeks weren't red anymore. He just looked like regular Blaine again, and Kurt had to admit that what he had done was actually kind of sweet. Sweet in a stupid, overconfident Blaine kind of way, but sweet nonetheless.

"It's not. It's just one more big thing on top of this already shitty day,"�Kurt admitted. Blaine grinned and sat up, pressing a gentle kiss to Kurt's lips.

"At least your dad still likes me," Blaine said, "We do have that."

"That is a plus, yes."

"See? Try to focus on the positive."

"Okay, I'll focus on the one positive thing to come out of today. Honestly, I'd rather spend an entire week listening to Rachel talk about how talented she is than relive one hour of this day," Kurt sighed, leaning forward to nuzzle his nose into Blaine's neck.�Now, he was more than happy to lose himself in his boyfriend's undeniable beauty. Blaine reached to soothingly rub his hands over Kurt's thighs. Normally, Kurt would have been begging Blaine to please just rub a little bit higher before he died, thankyouverymuch, but today, it was just comforting.

"Come on, let's lay down,"�Blaine whispered, his voice a little hoarse in Kurt's ear.

Together, they sank back into the soft comforter and simultaneously kicked off their shoes. Kurt's were expensive, but his brain was sagging so much that he didn't even care that he'd shoved them off without unbuckling them. One time wouldn't hurt. Probably. Much. Okay, he really should just undo the buckles and then he could relax.

But Blaine felt him move to sit up, and just pulled him close until his head was resting on Blaine's bicep. A low laugh rumbled through his boyfriend's chest, and Kurt reached out a hand to gently touch his stomach. Through the thin material of his simple green t-shirt (it still amazed him daily how Blaine managed to look even better in street clothes than he had in his sexy Dalton uniform) Kurt could feel every dip and rise of Blaine's muscled abdomen.

He'd long since memorized the gentle, firm swell of his pecs, the way his nipples pebbled instantly under Kurt's curious fingers, the silky feel of the smattering chest hair that Kurt was still amazed that he found so sexy. It was all Blaine. All perfect. And amazingly, all Kurt's to touch.

"I love you,"�Kurt said, looking at Blaine's relaxed, peaceful face.

"I�love you, too," Blaine said, smiling and turning his head to look at Kurt.

"No, I�mean I really love you. I�know that we say it all the time, but it's not just a stupid high school thing. Trust me, I've over-analyzed it to death. This isn't fleeting, or purely physical, or infatuation. I really, really love you."

"I�really, really love you."

"There's no other person on the planet that I could have gotten through today with," Kurt said, "Well, to be fair, there's no one else on the planet who could get me into the all of the trouble that we've gotten in either, so..." Blaine took the fingers that had been splayed on Kurt's side and dug them into his ribs. Kurt squealed and wriggled away.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"We have homework to do,"�Kurt reminded him, "There's no sense in pissing off my dad already." Blaine nodded glumly and stood.

"I'll go get our bags," he offered, heading for the door.

"And besides," Kurt started with a smile. Blaine turned and gave Kurt a curious look until he finished, "We have the drive back to your house all to ourselves."

"You're awful and I love it."

"Try not to embarrass me while you're down there,"�Kurt called out, relaxing back into the mattress as he heard Blaine laugh on his way down the stairs. The day might have been awful, but the night certainly wouldn't be. Thank god.