Kurt double checked that he had put Blaine's mittens in his pockets before heading out the door.  He left a note on the counter for Carole and Burt saying that he went to meet Blaine at the park. 

Kurt let the heater run over his face for a couple of minutes before the warm air was swirling throughout the car.  He knew he had to get to Blaine quickly but at the same time he knew that Blaine would need some time to himself.  Putting the car into gear Kurt drove down the street staying just below the speed limit allowing what he imagined would be the perfect amount of time.

Blaine arrived at the park with frozen fingers and immediately went to the swings.  He remembered all the times that he and Riley had come here when they were little.  He could hear Riley's five year old voice asking for underdog over and over until Blaine's seven year old arms couldn't push her anymore.  The cool breeze whipped over his face almost the tears that silently ran down his cheeks.

Blaine made his way over to the sandbox next.  Something about what Finn had said to him this morning, about Riley always mentioning this sandbox had struck him.  He sat down on the outside framing of it and ran him hands through the sand.  After a few moments he pulled the note Riley left out of his pockets and read over the words again.  Stick to The Script.  You promised.

Kurt got out of his car when he saw Blaine sitting at the sandbox.  He walked as slowly as possible while taking in the image of his boyfriend in such a fragile state.  He was reading over the note that Riley had left when he arrived.

"Blaine..."

Blaine jumped a little before wiping the tears from his face before he looked up at Kurt.

"I couldn't stay at home, Kurt.  I had to come see her."

"I know."  Kurt raised his eyebrows and pointed to the seat next to Blaine silently asking if he could join him.  Blaine nodded and scooted over a little to give him some space to sit.

"Why did you come here?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Kurt struggled while he searched for the right words, "You are Riley have spent your whole life together.  You have years and years of memories with her, so why did you decide to come to the park?"

"I don't know, I guess it just felt right."

Blaine shifted uncomfortably before his eyes began to search over Riley's note again.

"We can talk about her, if you want to, Blaine.  She doesn't have to become this unmentionable subject."

Blaine disintegrated onto Kurt's shoulder.  Kurt tried to wrap his arms around him but Blaine began to trash his arms in anger.  Kurt stood up and took a step back to give Blaine some air as the tantrum continued.  For several minutes Blaine would go back and forth between crying and screaming and wrapping his arms around himself to trashing them in the air towards the sky. 

Eventually he ended up holding himself in the fetal position in the middle of the sandbox.  Kurt let him lay there for a few seconds before he ran back up to him and lifted his head to rest on his legs.

"It's not fair, Kurt.  How can she just do this to me?"

"Blaine, sweetie, you can't blame Riley for what she did.  She was scared, and alone, and let the ghosts of her past affect her."

"No, Kurt."  Blaine's voice was low and shaky.  He stood up rather quickly before he started pacing back and forth next to the sandbox.  Kurt could no longer tell if he was crying tears of sadness or tears of anger.  "That's not what she did to me."  Blaine continued to pace and Kurt had to strain to hear him when he was walking back and forth like that but he wasn't going to interrupt.  "About a year and a half ago, before my dad even hit either of us for the first time I caught Riley writing a suicide note in her room.  She was so young I didn't know if she was just writing it to get all the feelings out or if she was serious.  I also didn't get to finish reading the note either because she ripped it from my hands and tore it up.  Either way I knew that something was wrong.

"I made her talk to me every night after that.  We would find a time away from everyone else and I would make her tell me about her day and how she was feeling.  In exchange I promised her I wouldn't tell anybody."  Blaine took a break from his pacing to stare up at the overcast sky.  "I even bought her a journal and every once in a while I would read it."  Blaine finally got the courage to look Kurt in the eyes.  Kurt wasn't looking at him with sympathy though; his bright blue eyes were shining with curiosity edging Blaine to continue with his story.  "Everything seemed to be going fine until the night we went to The Script concert."  Blaine took a deep breath before addressing Kurt directly.  "You listened to them after I gave you the album last month, right?"  Kurt nodded.  "The song Talk You Down, do you remember it?"

Kurt thought silently for a moment before slowly nodding.  Blaine looked at him with pleading eyes trying to get Kurt to connect the dots so he wouldn't have to say the words out loud, but it was no use.  Blaine began to shake again and had to turn away from Kurt completely.  He took slow deep breaths to try to steady himself before he turned around and started yelling.

"We made a pact, Kurt!  Riley and I made a pact!  ‘Cause if you go I go' those are the lyrics to that song!"

Kurt could practically feel the words bouncing around in his head before his brain could process what they meant.  He raised his head slowly with tears filling his eyes.  Kurt could barely stand losing Riley there was no way he was going to let them take Blaine as well.  Blaine was the love of his life.

"Blaine you can't!  I won't let you!"  Kurt ran up to him and grabbed his hands.  He looked into Blaine's eyes expecting to see someone who was ready to let go, but instead he saw the scared little boy he had seen earlier in his bedroom.  Before he knew what he was doing Kurt pulled Blaine into a tight hug letting the smell of Blaine fill his head.

"I don't want to."  The warmth of his breath brushed against Kurt's ear while he whispered, "I don't want to leave you or anybody else."  Kurt smiled and pulled away to look at Blaine.  His smile immediately faded as he watched Blaine's expression change, "But I have to.  I promised her and she wants me to keep that promise.  That was our biggest ‘thing', Kurt.  That promise.  She and I have made a lot of promises in our life, but after we made the pact that became the biggest and the most important.  Neither one of us could live in the world that the other one couldn't stand."

"Blaine, you don't have to do that."

"Yes I do! Why can't you see that, Kurt?  This thing is bigger than you.  It's bigger than me, it's bigger than us."

"You're right, Blaine! It is bigger!"  Kurt couldn't help himself from raising his voice at Blaine.  He didn't want to but he felt it was the only way Blaine was going to listen.  Kurt watched as Blaine opened his mouth and then snapped it shut staring at him.  "This isn't about you and the pact that you made with your sister; this is about beating the odds.  This is about showing the world that there is something worth fighting for.  Do you really think that you and Riley are the only ones who have been through anything like this? You're not.  Kids kill themselves every day because of the cruel things this universe throws at them.  But if all the kids like that were to go kill themselves then who would speak up and try to help?  I can't do that, Blaine.  I cannot even begin to imagine everything you have gone through.  There needs to be someone like you in this world to show those people that they are not alone, that they can beat the odds.

"Nobody can relate to the obstacles you have had to overcome besides somebody who has had to overcome the same obstacles.  Please, don't become another statistic."

Kurt slowly walked up to Blaine now and pulled him into a hug.  He could feel Blaine go limp in his arms.  Kurt moved his fingers through Blaine's hair and whispered into his ear.

"Riley was right, you know, about your purpose in life.  But she was wrong about me.  Your purpose is not to love me whole heartedly; your purpose is to share your love with the whole world.  You are here to show people that love is louder.  Show them how to use love to beat the odds."

"I don't want to disappoint her."  Blaine said weakly into Kurt's shoulder.

The two boys sat on the edge of the sandbox together for the next hour.  Blaine silently contemplated his future while Kurt held onto the boy he loved for as long as he could.

They could both feel something was changing; whether it was for better or for worse they didn't know, it was just never going to be the same.

Around eleven they went home and Burt told them that Riley's death had been the top story on the news that morning so now the whole city now knew.

Nothing was normal and everything Blaine did or thought about was painful.  He wished he could curl into himself and escape from his own thoughts.  He wished that it could be summer so he could go lie in an open field and look up at the sky and do nothing.

The Hudson-Hummel house was abnormally quiet all day.  Finn went over to the Berry house to explain everything they knew and to be with Rachel because she was suffering just like the rest of them.  Later in the afternoon Blaine went over to collect Riley's things. 

The Berrys had graciously packed most of the clothes up but they left everything else for Blaine because they knew that it was all going to be important to him.

He decided to donate all of her things except for the precious items: her iPod because her and Blaine had always shared a love for music, the journal Rachel had gotten her because even though it was barely even started it still held Riley's memories, the picture of Blaine in a superhero costume that Riley had drawn, and lastly her baby blanket.

Kurt stood in the doorway of Riley's room and watched Blaine as he mindlessly stuffed the clothes into a bag.  When Blaine found the blanket lying on the bed he immediately picked it up and pulled it to his face letting the smell of Riley fill his thoughts.

As he breathed in he could feel the tears starting to swell in his eyes again.  Blaine pulled the blanket back down to his side before neatly folding it and tucking it under his arm for safe keeping.  He knew that he would be keeping him with that at nights now, pulling it out every now and again just to smell Riley. 

The weekend passed slowly and Kurt spent all of his time with Blaine, helping him through another break down or enjoying the time that it seemed like Blaine could almost pull himself out of it.  Burt and Carole tiptoed around the house grieving in silence and Finn was with Rachel the whole time.

Burt lifted the ban on Blaine staying in Kurt's room because he knew and fully understood Blaine's need for someone right now.  He wasn't going to be the force that separated the two boys.

Monday morning came all too soon and before he knew it Blaine was in the car with Burt on his way to the police station.  Burt convinced him that they had put off all the paperwork long enough and neither of them needed that hanging over their shoulders any longer.

There was only three days of school this week before winter break started.  Kurt went while Blaine was at the stations but only to collect the work that he and Blaine would be missing because Burt wasn't going to force them to go back there.  At least not until winter break was over.

As Kurt walked into the school he immediately noticed how different the atmosphere was.  It seemed much more dark and unwelcoming than the school had ever seemed before.  He immediately noticed the absence of all of the glee club members as he made his way passed the choir room to his locker.

Kurt was surrounded by his peers as they walked the hallways to their next class.  He took a moment to just sit back and watch this place in action; something he had never really gotten to do before because he too was always in a hurry to get to his next destination.

Many students walked with their heads down and books held closely or backpacks hanging open while students mindlessly talked to one another.  Was it always like this?  Kurt couldn't answer.  He silently turned back to his locker and finished collecting all of his books.

On his way to Blaine's locker Kurt got pulled into the janitor's closet.  Panic immediately struck him as he flashbacked to all the time he would get locked in a closet or tossed in a dumpster by the jocks.

He could smell the familiar leather of a letterman's jacket and opened his mouth to scream but before any noise came out a large hand was covering his mouth.

"Don't even think about it."

It was none other than David Karofsky.