Blaine wasn't sure how long he sat there reading the note through his tears before he felt a pair of strong arms around him.  He looked up and greeted Kurt's bright blue eyes with his own.

"Blaine..." But Kurt couldn't say anything else; he didn't know what else to say.  This was so much different than when his mother died because his mother hadn't made the decision to leave him.  Kurt couldn't stop thinking about how much Blaine was going to blame himself.  He already thought he had failed as a brother, and now his sister went and took her own life. 

"Blaine, I'm so sorry."

"Don't. Please, Kurt.  Don't say anything." 

Kurt helped Blaine up from the floor silently and took him out to the front where Burt was raising his voice at one of the officers.

"Give him some time! I'm not saying he won't come back and do whatever it is you need him to do but his sister just committed suicide!  You cannot expect him to be in any state to do anything right now.  He is coming home with us and we will bring him back when he is good and ready."

Burt huffed before walking up to the boys and taking Kurt by the arm.

"We are going home."

Kurt sat in the back seat with Blaine in the car and then with him on the couch when they got home.  Blaine clung Riley's note to his chest while Kurt pulled him into his lap and just let him cry.  Kurt could feel Blaine's body shake from the sobs and Blaine's tears had left a wet spot on Kurt's shirt, but that didn't matter right now.  Kurt could barely hold himself together because he too felt like he had lost a little sister, but he needed to be strong for Blaine.  Blaine needed to have something solid in his life right now, a person to be there for him while everything was crashing down; that person was Kurt.

Sometime between three and four in the morning Blaine had drained himself of everything and drifted into a light slumber.  Kurt on the other hand couldn't sleep; he took this time to grieve silently before Blaine would need him again.  Riley wasn't his little sister by any means, and he hadn't been through everything they had been through but he still loved her and wanted to watch her grow up and fall in love.  There were so many nights Blaine and Kurt would spend together talking about all the ways they could watch Riley mature into a beautiful women.  They talked about how between them and Finn the role of the protective older brother would play out quite nicely when she brought around boys, and they would be her shoulder to cry on when she got her heart broken.  All those dreams that they had, the ones that Kurt had kept to himself about finally being an older brother were shattered.

Through his tears Kurt saw the note that Blaine still had in his hands from the police station.  He hadn't gotten the chance to ask if it was the letter that Riley left; he had just kind of assumed it was.  Carefully he tried to pull it out of his hands.  Kurt had no intention of reading what it said, but he felt it would be safer if he laid if face down on the table for Blaine to have tomorrow.

As he was flipping the note down to set it on the table he saw his name scribbled in Riley's handwriting.  He couldn't keep his eyes from reading the ending.  Stick to The Script.  You promised.  Kurt figured it was one of their many ‘things' that they had made up over time.  He mindlessly set the note down and pulled Blaine closer to him.

Kurt ran his fingers through Blaine's hair while he slept and studied his face.  He looked so peaceful like this, in a world of dreams where his sister was probably still alive and he was able to roam freely and love openly without anyone holding him back. Kurt liked picturing Blaine like that, a land where Blaine was safe.   He couldn't begin to imagine what it was going to be like when Blaine woke up and reality struck him.  As Kurt sat there with Blaine in his arms he thought about his future with Blaine, now.  How things had changed from everything they talked about before.  Now Kurt and his family was all that Blaine had.  They would all be there to support him, and help him through like they were with him and Riley before.  But this was going to be different.

Kurt wondered if Blaine would ever smile the same again.  Blaine had this big brother smile, or so Kurt called it, when Riley would do something funny or smart.  It was the look that Blaine got when he was first telling him about his sister so many months ago when they first started dating.  It was a look that Kurt was looking forward to perfecting, a look that Kurt was never going to get to use now.

Blaine could feel himself drifting further from his dream and closer to reality.  He tried to make it come back to him, to pull back the memory of him and Riley playing on the swings when they were little, but it wouldn't work.  Realizing he was still in Kurt's arms on the couch he didn't want to get up so he laid there pretending to be asleep still.  His mind wandered over the last couple of weeks, to all the things that could have triggered Riley again, mentally slapping himself every time he caught one of the signs that had slipped past him.

Blaine remembered a year and a half ago when he found Riley writing a suicide note in her room.  She had ripped up the note before he could finish reading it, but just through the words I can't take it and This is goodbye he could tell exactly what it was. 

Riley made a deal with Blaine; if he would keep his mouth shut and not tell anyone then Riley would explain it all to him and accept whatever help he could give by himself.  Riley had told him about the kids at school always hanging out and she couldn't do that because of Dad, and how she was felt responsible for everything that was happening to Blaine at school, that she felt like she could more for him. 

Blaine had helped her work through everything back then, or so he thought.  Every night he would talk with her about how she was feeling, and he gave her a journal and asked her to write.... The journal.  Blaine hadn't packed it when he was rushing out of the apartment.  That's the key to this whole thing.

Kurt could feel Blaine begin to shake again and knew he had woken up.

"Blaine..."

"Where's the note?"

"What?"

"Riley's note, where is it?"

"It's right here."  Kurt leaned forward pulling the note off of the table before handing it to him.  Blaine sat up and read over the note a few more times which brought a fresh set of tears to his eyes.

"Did you read it?"  Kurt was a bit surprised by his question.

"No..."

"Here."  Blaine held the note out to Kurt so he could read it.  "When I read that note... I can hear her.  It's like she is standing behind me reading over my shoulder and I'm going to turn around and she will be right there."  Kurt reached over and wiped the tear that was running down his cheek.

"I will always be here."

"Please, just read the note."

Blaine watched closely as Kurt read over everything.  Kurt couldn't help but smile a little because he knew exactly what Blaine was talking about when he said you could hear her reading it but then he read the end again.  The smile faded from his face when he finished.

"I don't understand it all."

"I know.  The ending is one of our many things."  Blaine lazily used air quotes around the word things.  "I don't expect you to get it."

"But the rest of the note is very Riley.  You're right about that."

"I should have known."  There is the statement that Kurt had been preparing for.  Of course Blaine was blaming himself for this.

"Blaine, this is not your fault.  There is nothing you could have said to her to make her change her mind."

"What do you even know, Kurt?"  Blaine's voice was rigid and his eyes could have been enough to kill someone as he looked at Kurt.  "You didn't know her like I did, okay?  You don't know anything about our relationship or what either one of us had gone through, so don't pretend you do."

Kurt was taken aback as he listened to the words spill from Blaine's mouth.  He tried to convince himself that it was just the grief talking but there was something in Blaine's eyes that wanted to tell Kurt that wasn't true.

"Blaine... I'm sorry.  I don't really know what to say."

"Then why don't you just go up to bed.  Leave me alone for a while."

Kurt leaned over and kissed Blaine on the cheek before silently getting up and surrendering to the darker side of Blaine.  He slowly climbed the stairs hoping he would hear Blaine calling after him to apologize and asking him to stay but while he closed the door to his bedroom he realized that was not going to happen.

Blaine sat back on the couch and began to dissolve in his own tears.  The thought that he was never going to see Riley's eyes light up again and that he had just pushed the one person he had left away from him caused his body to go numb.  He hugged his knees to his chest before resting his forehead on them and he let his body shake. 

Kurt laid in his bed listening to Blaine's sobs.  Kurt realized that he too had tears streaming down his face again.  He was not going to just let the boy he loved sit in the darkness by himself and feel so helpless, but right as he was about to get up and go join him again he heard voices coming from downstairs.

"Hey, man.  Mind if I join you?"  Finn must have slipped by Kurt's room without him hearing.  Kurt looked at the clock; it was nearly seven in the morning.  Finding no point in trying to sleep now he decided to sit on the top step and just listen.

Blaine must have just nodded because Kurt heard Finn sit down without a verbal confirmation.

"Couldn't sleep either?"  Kurt had to strain to hear Blaine when he spoke because he was so quiet.  Just hearing him like that tore Kurt's heart out of his chest.  All he wanted to do was pull Blaine into his arms and tell him everything was going to be okay, but he couldn't do that. He couldn't make that promise right now.

"No, not really. I couldn't help but hear you talking to Kurt a few minutes ago."  Blaine shrunk into himself again ashamed that he had said those things.  "You're wrong you know?"

Blaine looked up at Finn and scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion.

"You're not a bad big brother.  Every time I was with Riley over at Rachel's house or before glee when we were talking she would always talk about you.  She would always tell these stories of when you were little and you would play with her at the park, or all the times you snuck into her room at night after your parents fought."  Finn placed a hand on Blaine's knee.  "She loved you, Blaine.  There was not a bone in her body that resented you or blamed you for anything that you all went through.  You were like a superhero to her, dude.  Always there to save the day."  Finn gave one of his crooked smiles before grabbing the remote off the table.  "You mind?"

Blaine shook his and Finn hit the power button before quickly turning down the volume.  A few minutes passed while Finn searched the channels and settled on sports.

"Did she really say that?  That I was like a superhero?"

"Well, she never actually spoke the words but she had this journal."  Blaine's head immediately snapped up.  Finn caught onto his confusion, "Rachel got it for her for her birthday.  Said it was all she asked for.  Anyway, she drew this picture of you with a superhero cape on.  Dude, did you know your sister could draw?  Cause it is like, scary good.  Anyway, she kept it hanging on the mirror in her bathroom."

"You saw it?"

"Ya.  She showed it to me.  I'm sure Rachel will let you have it if you want.  I mean, she can't really keep it from you."

"Thanks.  I would like that."

Finn turned back the screen to watch the announcements for the games that day.  Blaine squirmed a little at the awkwardness because he had never just sat alone with Finn before and he wanted to go up and see Kurt.  He still felt awful for the things that he had said to him.

"Is Kurt up in his room?"

From the top of the steps Kurt tried to silently get up and sneak back to his bed before Blaine caught him listening in and got mad at him all over again.

"Should be.  He was when I came down."

"You mind?"  Blaine asked while standing up to cross over to the stairs.

"Of course not, man.  Who am I to hold you back?  Just make sure Burt doesn't catch you in there behind a closed door."  Finn chuckled at his own joke never taking his eyes off the television.  Blaine decided that Finn really wasn't that bad.  In fact, he liked him.

"Thanks, Finn.  For everything."  At that Finn did turn to face Blaine again giving the same crooked smile he gave before.

"You and Riley, you're like family.  I would do anything for my family."

Blaine tried to smile back but he felt physically incapable of smiling right now.  So he just made his way across the rest of the room and up the stairs.  He took a deep breath before opening Kurt's door and slipping inside.

Kurt was lying on top of the covers still in clothes from the night before with his eyes closed.  He didn't hear Blaine come in or walk over to his bed.  When he felt him climb onto the bed he jumped and practically fell off the side.

"Sorry."  Blaine sat cross legged on the end of the bed.

"No. You're fine."  Kurt crawled over until he was sitting right in front of Blaine and took his hands.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay.  I was just being over sensitive, so I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have said that to you; I didn't mean any of it."

"I know."  Kurt leaned over and kissed Blaine on the cheek.

"Do you think I can lay with you for a little bit?"  When Kurt looked at Blaine he had a flash of the little boy Blaine he had seen in some pictures.  This Blaine was so innocent and scared, like a child who had a nightmare.

Kurt helped him to the head of the bed where they both lied down on top of the covers.  Blaine rested his head on Kurt's chest and draped his arm over Kurt's waist.  Kurt pressed a light kiss to his hair before closing his eyes.

Right as Kurt was about to be pulled into the world of dreams Blaine cleared his throat pulling him back to reality.

"I love you, Kurt."

"I love you, too, Blaine."  Blaine tightened his arm on Kurt's waist a little.

"Don't leave me, okay?"

"I won't."

"You promise?" 

Kurt was silent for a few moments remembering all the times that Blaine and Riley had made little promises with each other.  Blaine was now allowing Kurt in, too.  He couldn't help but smile.

"I promise."

When Kurt woke up just forty-five minutes later he was alone.  In a panic he ran down the stairs to the living room but only saw Finn asleep on the couch.  He checked all the bathrooms and kitchen before he went back up to his room to grab his phone to try and call Blaine.  Sitting on his nightstand was a note:

Went to the park.

Blaine's writing was even more illegible than usual and he figured Blaine must have wanted to get out of the house as quickly as possible.  Kurt wasn't sure why he decided to go to the park; maybe someone was waiting for him there, or maybe he just needed some fresh air.  The only thing Kurt was certain of was that Blaine was outside in the cold morning air by himself. 

The knot in Kurt's stomach tightened as he thought of all the possible things Blaine could be doing.