"Today's the day."

Blaine stood in front of the mirror and talked himself into what he had planned out in his head as he lay awake in bed sometime between night and dawn after being awoken by some unknown trigger. It had seemed like a good idea at the time as he had lain there staring up at the ceiling whilst sleep slowly tugged him down into its cloudy, ever-changing depths. Now as he stared into the eyes of his reflection he wasn't so sure about what his semi-conscious brain had decided. Talking to the stranger who had caught him staring a few times in the past and had returned his gaze wasn't something he could ever be comfortable doing; people just didn't do that.

He had planned several different ways of striking up a conversation with the NYADA student and had miraculously remembered them when he had woken to the bleeping of his alarm and had rehearsed each of them three times whilst he got dressed.

"Just do it, Blaine," he told his reflection. "Courage." His reflection's chin tilted up slightly and the hazel eyes lost all hesitation and insecurity. "Courage," he repeated, as if by saying the word aloud to himself multiple times he would bless himself with the desired trait.

He stared at the mirror for a moment longer before turning away, holding the image of his confident reflection in his mind to try and prevent all his nerves and uncertainties from surfacing again. Some part of him seemed to understand that he would regret it if he never spoke to Blue Eyes and luckily that part of his mind was predominating right now and he was able to hold the mask of confidence as he left his apartment and walked to the subway station.

He scanned the crowded platform, hoping that Blue Eyes would be there. He really hoped he wasn't taking a different train now as he hadn't been on the usual train yesterday. But no, Blaine recognised coiffed hair and bright blue eyes down at the far end of the platform. He walked briskly towards where he stood, like he was magnetically attracted to the other man. His plan was to wait until they were both on the train before he approached him, so he whiled away the time until the train was due by pretending to be absorbed in selecting a song on his iPod whilst discreetly glancing at Blue Eyes out the corner of his eye every now and then.

With every passing minute that meant his train was drawing closer, Blaine felt his confidence slipping and he ran through his plan again to try and stop panic settling in resulting in him chickening out. He would just bump against Blue Eyes and apologise, then he would comment on how this was not the first time they had bumped into each other on this train and he assured himself he could keep the conversation flowing from there. Or if it didn't look like that could work, he could just casually stand next to him and shift closer in the inevitable rush of people cramming onto the train and could offhandedly make a comment on how busy this train always was. He was leaning more towards the 'bumping into him' plan.

The train arrived and Blaine hurried towards it, keeping as close behind Blue Eyes as he could. He took a deep breath as he stepped onto the train and followed the attractive stranger over to an empty section of the train where he stood next to him trying to act as casually as possible.

A rush of people streamed onto the train, most aiming for the relatively empty section of the train car where Blaine and Blue Eyes stood. Just as Blaine gathered all his courage and went to bump against Blue Eyes he noticed a dark-haired guy standing on the other side of Blue Eyes lean towards the person Blaine had spent days plucking up the courage to talk to and weeks admiring, and whisper in his ear. Blue Eyes blushed and murmured a reply just as the train pulled away from the station.

The mixture of nerves and excitement that had been buzzing around inside Blaine all morning like trapped bees suddenly vanished and were replaced by a dull numbness. He turned his back on the two young men and allowed a large woman carrying an overstuffed handbag to get in between himself and Blue Eyes, effectively blocking his view of him.

He didn't know how he had managed to miss that Blue Eyes hadn't been alone on the platform, he supposed he must have been so absorbed in working up to talking to him that he hadn't noticed that he was accompanied by someone who was clearly his boyfriend.

Despite the couple not being in his view anymore, Blaine could still see them. The image of the two of them together was burned into his brain. All of this, everything Blaine was feeling, just confused him. He didn't even know this guy, but he couldn't shake the image of himself standing next to the beautiful blue-eyed man on the train, holding his hand and giving him a quick kiss before he got off at the station for NYADA. It was completely absurd and turned his mind into a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions that swirled around his head so rapidly that it all blurred into a single feeling that resembled motion sickness.

He stepped off the train when it reached his station, feeling dizzy. It wasn't until he was almost at the stairs leading up off the platform that he realised he was lurching slightly as he walked, like he was unstable on his feet. He had to concentrate on walking to control it and to appear like his normal self which finally distracted his mind from the image still burned there.

When his phone buzzed and he read the cheery message he had received, guilt was added to the turmoil of emotions he was currently experiencing. He couldn't believe himself right now and wanted nothing more than to be able to give himself a shake and shout 'what is wrong with you, Blaine?' He was scaring himself, he couldn't believe a complete stranger was having this effect on him and had changed his life so much that he barely knew himself anymore.

Blaine collapsed on the couch, letting his head fall back as he closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. His head was thumping, it felt like someone was bashing around inside his skull with a baseball bat.

"Had an exhausting day as well have you?" He heard Nick ask and the couch moved as his friend sat down next to him.

Blaine groaned in response, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. "My head feels like it's about to split open," he said after a few moments of silence.

He felt Nick shift on the couch, presumably to face him. "Have you taken some painkillers? I can get you some."

"I've already taken some; they are just taking their sweet time to kick in." He dropped his hands and opened his eyes, sighing. "It's not just the headache though, I'm- I just don't know anymore."

Nick frowned at him. "What do you mean?"

"I just-" Blaine struggled to find the words. "It's like I don't know myself anymore. I don't understand anything I'm feeling or any thoughts I'm having anymore."

Nick watched him anxiously, his eyes searching Blaine's face. "Maybe you're just pushing yourself too hard, you have always been driven to succeed and be the best at everything you do and maybe all those long hours of working hard are just finally taking their toll. You probably just need to take a break, Blaine and have some time to yourself."

Blaine thought about this, it could be possible had it not all started around the time he bumped into the blue-eyed stranger on the train. "Maybe," he said, "but I don't think that's what it is." He hesitated. "Do you remember that guy on the train? The one that you caught me staring at the other day?"

Nick nodded, smirking slightly. "Yeah, I remember him."

Blaine licked his dry lips. "I think the way I'm feeling has something to do with him. This all started after I first saw him and it gets worse each time I see him. I know it's weird," he added, seeing the look on Nick's face. "I just- I just don't understand."

Nick stared at him for a minute, watching as Blaine rubbed at his temples with his eyes closed. When Blaine opened his eyes again he could tell Nick was struggling with something.

"Blaine, you have a boyfriend," he said gently.

"I know! I know! I feel awful. Why does Jeremy completely leave my mind whenever I'm near this guy, whenever I think about him? What is it with him? I don't even know his name! Why does he have this effect on me, Nick?" He finished wearily, dropping his head into his hands, insides burning with guilt at the thought of Jeremy.

Nick laid a hand on his shoulder and was quiet for a minute before he spoke. "Maybe you should take a different train in the morning, just try and forget about this guy."

Blaine sighed. "I can't, I have to take that train if I want to get to class on time. I could take an earlier one I suppose, but that means getting up even earlier."

"Ok," Nick said slowly. "Ok, well you can't change trains." He paused. "Look, Blaine you are obviously attracted to this guy and whenever you see him Jeremy goes to the back of your mind because of that."

But it wasn't just that. Blaine had been attracted to guys before and they had never caused him to feel like this, it was like he had a connection with this stranger.

"Which is just absurd," he muttered.

"What?"

Blaine shook his head, trying to clear his mind of this new train of thought and wincing when it caused his head to give a sudden, sharp throb of pain. "Nothing," he said quietly. He got to his feet. "I'm going to go lie down until this headache clears."

Nick nodded slowly, still watching him with concern. "That's probably best. Take a glass of water with you."

Blaine nodded and fetched the water. On the way back through the living room to his bedroom he paused. "I can't take a different train, but you're right. I have to try and forget about this guy. I have a boyfriend and it's not like anything is ever going to happen with this other guy, he's just someone I see on the train most days."

Without waiting for Nick to reply beyond nodding at him, he headed into his bedroom, lying down on his back on the bed and closing his eyes. Not wanting his pounding head to start picturing Blue Eyes again, he began reliving memories of the Warblers and his friends from Dalton and after a while he drifted off into an unsettled sleep.