June 29, 2012, 10:29 a.m.
Where The Lines Overlap: Chapter 18
T - Words: 3,394 - Last Updated: Jun 29, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 21/21 - Created: Jun 19, 2012 - Updated: Jun 29, 2012 1,066 0 0 0 0
Once the door shut behind Tim, Kurt turned numbly and slumped down on the couch. The door through to the kitchen opened and Rachel entered the room, walking over to sit in the armchair where she watched him stare down at his hands in silence. They sat like that for a while: Kurt with his eyes fixed on his folded hands and Rachel with her concerned gaze on Kurt, and then Kurt broke the silence.
"I'm in love with Blaine," he whispered a little uncertainly as if testing the proclamation out. "I'm in love with him," he said, now speaking more strongly and with more certainty.
Rachel said nothing, allowing him to come to it all by himself, to finally wrap his head around the feelings he had been experiencing for weeks now.
"All those times-" he broke off and looked up at Rachel. "You were right and I didn't listen – again."
Rachel bit her lip. "At least you listened tonight and broke it off with Tim before that got any worse."
Kurt blinked at her. "Got any worse?" he repeated. "Was it really that bad, me dating him?"
"Not now it wasn't really, no, but I just worried that it would get worse after the way he treated you over Spring Break. A supportive, caring boyfriend doesn't act like that."
Kurt chewed on his bottom lip for a moment, lost in thought. "I felt the same way, some part of me deep down did as soon as he started complaining about me wanting to see my family. I started noticing things about him and things that he said, stuff that I had just brushed off before or was too blinded by my crush on him to see. You're right; I think being in a relationship with Tim could have gotten a lot messier at some point down the line. He isn't the type of person I should be with or that I want to be with."
Rachel continued to watch him with concern as Kurt sat in contemplative silence, wondering why he had looked past all of Tim's faults until now. He shook his head. "I can't believe that I managed to shake off the fact that I was falling for Blaine for all these weeks. I mean at times I thought I maybe wanted more than friendship with him, but I always pushed those thoughts aside as soon as they entered my head and-" he broke off, a sudden thought striking him.
Rachel slid forward to the edge of her chair. "What is it? What's wrong?" she asked, seeing Kurt's face fall.
"Blaine has a boyfriend," his voice sounded distant, like someone else was talking whilst he listened on from the other side of a large, empty room. "They have been together nine months." He sighed heavily. "None of it matters, that I've fallen for him doesn't matter, he's in love with someone else."
Rachel looked stunned by this news. "Really? Well you wouldn't think he had a boyfriend from the way he looks at you."
Kurt looked defeated as his shoulders slumped and he fell back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling. "Well, he does, Rachel so I might as well forget the whole thing."
"Was that song about Kurt?"
Blaine jumped, spinning around on the piano bench to see Nick standing watching him from near the kitchen doorway. When Blaine just gaped speechlessly at him, his mind reeling too much to form a coherent sentence, Nick began slowly walking towards him.
"It's a beautiful song, one of your best I'd say, and you played it flawlessly." He paused a few feet away from Blaine. "The song was about Kurt, wasn't it?"
Blaine just nodded, still coming to terms with the sudden realisation he had just sung about.
"You're in love with him, aren't you?" Nick asked gently.
Another nod and Blaine felt almost light-headed from the dizzying rush of blood in his veins.
Nick nodded at the piano. "You should play that song for him, he would love it."
"How?" Blaine whispered, his voice tinged with slight desperation.
"Invite him over some day and play it for him here," Nick said as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.
Blaine nodded slowly and he could tell Nick was restraining himself from rolling his eyes with extreme difficulty, but he couldn't help it, his thoughts were running as slowly as honey.
Nick moved forward until he was at Blaine's side and leant against the piano. "Saturday; invite him over on Saturday, sometime in the afternoon so you have time to put ridiculous amounts of gel in your hair and debate over which bowtie to wear." He patted Blaine on the shoulder. "Call him tonight and ask him."
"Right," Blaine said, looking around for the stack of sheet music he had moved from the piano bench earlier, "ok." He began flicking through the pile of papers, searching for the sheet that he had written the music for the song on so that he could write down the lyrics before he forgot them – not that he thought he could. He could feel Nick's eyes on him as he began scribbling down the lyrics and then his friend walked away, apparently satisfied that he had gotten Blaine going somewhere towards sorting out his relationship with Kurt.
Blaine finished writing down the lyrics and stared down at the page the song was written on, once again slightly stunned that all his heart and soul, all his feelings for Kurt, were on this one inconspicuous sheet of paper. He set the sheet aside solemnly and pulled his phone out of his pocket and scrolled thought the contacts for Kurt's number in a manner similar to that of being about to have his final phone call before being trialled for death. He was probably being overly dramatic, but as his finger hovered over the call button, he thought about how much he hoped Kurt felt the same way and how much he wanted to be with Kurt and how he would be unimaginably devastated if Kurt didn't return his feelings and, even worse, if he then cut Blaine out of his life altogether.
His thumb stabbed at the call button before he was ready and he raised the phone to his ear, his hands shaking so badly the phone slipped in his grasp and he almost dropped it, only just managing to catch it and press it to his ear before it fell. His heart threw itself in wild, frantic leaps against his ribcage as he listened to the phone ringing once, twice, three times – and what if he didn't answer?
"Hey, Blaine, what's up?"
Blaine closed his eyes, letting out a short, shaky breath. "Hey, Kurt how's things with you?"
There was a short pause during which there was only the faint humming sound of the connection and then Kurt said, "Things are…good."
Concern for Kurt eradicated all worries about his own plans from his mind. "Is everything ok? You don't sound so sure."
"It's nothing, everything's fine, I'm fine," Kurt hastened to assure him. "Something happened earlier that made me a little…upset, but it's all good now."
"Well, if you're sure you're ok…" Blaine frowned slightly as he spoke.
"I'm positive," Kurt said firmly. "So, what's happening in Blaine's world?"
Blaine laughed. "'Blaine's world', really?"
He could almost hear Kurt smiling on the other end of the line and he felt his nerves dampen down. "Are you free Saturday afternoon at around three?"
"Yes, I am. If we're going out for coffee again then can we go-"
"Not coffee," Blaine interrupted. "I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my place? I have some music I want you to hear." He worried at his bottom lip with his teeth as he waited for Kurt's reply.
"Sure, I'd love to! I loved hearing your music that night at Bar4; it would be great to hear more."
Blaine's body, which had been tense with nervous anticipation, relaxed. "Great, I'll text you my address and I'll see you on Saturday."
"See you then, enjoy the rest of your week!"
"Yeah, you too. Bye!"
Once Kurt had said goodbye he hung up feeling relieved, his heart beginning to slow down to its normal rhythm.
Kurt stood hesitantly outside Blaine's apartment building. Having already double-checked the address on his phone he had no reason to stand outside the door anymore, but he still couldn't bring himself to press the buzzer.
This was the first time seeing Blaine since he had discovered he was in love with him and he was bound to do something stupid – and what if Blaine guessed how he felt? But, then again, he reasoned as he raised a hand to reach the buzzer, he had fallen for Blaine weeks ago so if Blaine hadn't guessed by now then why should he today? He pressed the buzzer, his heart skipping when Blaine answered a moment later and let him into the building.
"It's only Blaine. Just because you're realised something in your head, doesn't mean anything has changed. It's only Blaine." He repeated this mantra in a mutter to himself as he climbed the stairs to Blaine's apartment. When he reached Blaine's door he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down, and knocked.
The door was pulled open after a couple of seconds to reveal Blaine. Kurt smiled at the sight of him, trying to ignore the way his heart pounded in his chest and his breath caught. "Hi."
"Hey, did you find it ok?" Blaine greeted him, stepping aside to let Kurt enter the apartment.
Kurt stepped inside, looking around curiously. "Yeah, it was easy enough." He heard the door close behind him and then Blaine appeared at his side, showing him through to a sunny living area dominated by a piano over by the windows. There was a couch and a couple of armchairs grouped around a coffee table, the surface of which was covered by books, sheet music, and various other papers. A TV and a games console were against the wall behind it.
"Can I get you anything to drink?"
Kurt shook his head, still looking around the room. "No thanks." He took a step further into the room. "Nice place."
Blaine, who had been watching him whilst fiddling with the dark red bowtie he was wearing, smiled. "Thanks, I tidied up a bit before you came though; it's not always this neat. My roommate likes to spread his possessions as widely around the apartment as possible." He paused. "I- I have a few songs I would like you to hear, it's good to get a fresh opinion on them rather than just my roommate's or college friend's ones all the time. So, yeah…" He inched towards the piano. "Make yourself comfortable," he waved his hand at the chairs around the coffee table.
Kurt sat down on one of the armchairs, watching as Blaine – now sitting in front of the piano – sifted through some handwritten sheet music, biting down on his bottom lip as he did so. He set one of the pages on the music rack on the piano and stretched his hands out in front of him, resting his fingers lightly on the keys.
"It's all songs on the piano I'll play for you as I remember you said you loved the piano," he told Kurt, flashing him a smile. He turned back to face the piano. "This is something I wrote a few weeks ago," he explained before starting to play.
Kurt felt like he was barely breathing as the beautiful, delicate sounds of the piano filled the room. He found himself watching Blaine's hands as he played: his fingers dancing lightly over the keys, their movements becoming more rapid and forceful as the song built to a climax and Blaine held a note with both his voice and the piano. The lyrics were beautiful as well and went well with the delicate tune and Blaine's voice was simply breath-taking in his opinion.
When the song ended Kurt applauded him as Blaine shot him a nervous smile. "You're amazing, Blaine really, I could never write anything like that no matter how hard I tried. The music and lyrics just go so beautifully together.
"Thanks," Blaine said with a slight blush. He replaced the sheet music with that for another song. "This is something I've been playing around with over the last few days, so it will still sound a little raw and unfinished. It doesn't have any lyrics yet as I'm still throwing around a few ideas for them, so…yeah," he finished with a nervous half-shrug.
Kurt wondered why Blaine was being so unsure and nervous about his music. He had played in front of Kurt before and he knew Kurt liked his original compositions. Maybe it was the more intimate setting of just the two of them in Blaine's living room. Blaine's insecurities did fade away after he had played the first few bars of the song and he seemed to forget about his audience and it was just him, the piano, and his music. Though the piece Blaine was currently playing had no lyrics, Kurt could feel the emotions in the music just as tangibly as he could in the song with lyrics and despite Blaine's warning that the song was still a work in progress, Kurt personally thought it was flawless.
Tears collected in his eyes as the music became very soft and sweet. He closed his eyes, letting the music fill him and take him to another place, one which was deep inside him and close to his heart where memories of his Mom, Dad, Carole, Rachel, Finn, and Blaine resided – where the people he loved the most were.
As the final note hung in the air, Kurt opened his eyes, quickly wiping at the tears. Blaine saw them before Kurt could swipe the last of them away.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry," he apologised with a small smile, his voice low.
Kurt shook his head, smiling as he dropped his hand from his face. "I cried because your music is so beautiful and it moved me. It's definitely nothing to apologise for." He absently picked at the sleeve of his sweater which was now spotted with damp patches from his tears. "Have you thought about not having lyrics at all for that piece? I thought it sounded wonderful the way it was. Music is all about telling a story and conveying certain emotions, isn't it? That piece already does that without lyrics. In my opinion, you don't need any."
Blaine's eyes held his for a moment, his expression unreadable, and his features soft. "I have written several pieces on the piano that don't have lyrics and you're right, this song doesn't need any either." One corner of his mouth pulled up into a lopsided smile. "Thank you," he said quietly.
Kurt said nothing to this, too lost in Blaine's gaze and the feelings overwhelming him. Blaine finally dragged his eyes away from Kurt, coughing nervously as he picked up another sheet of music. The page trembled slightly as he placed it on the music rack. He stared at it for a long moment, rubbing his hands along the tops of his thighs, before resting them on the keys again.
"I wrote the lyrics to this the day I called and invited you over, but the music has been written for months, it just took certain- well, I had to experience something before I was able to write lyrics and-" He broke off and licked his lips. "I'll just let you hear it."
Kurt listened to the opening notes with a slight frown creasing his forehead – something was clearly different about this song that had Blaine rambling and flustered. When Blaine started to sing, Kurt moved forward until he was sitting on the edge of the chair, feeling curious. He stared blindly ahead of him as he carefully listened to both the melody and the words Blaine was singing, something starting to tease at his brain as the song moved into the second chorus.
When the song ended neither of them said anything and the silence in the apartment was almost deafening. Then, eventually, Blaine spoke, still staring ahead of him at the sheet music with unfocused eyes. "I wrote the music the night before I saw you for the first time and every time I have seen you since then the music has been in the back of my mind. I tried to write lyrics, but could never think of anything. It wasn't that my mind was blank, the lyrics were there in my head, they were always just out of reach."
Kurt was now watching Blaine with wide eyes, his brain slowly processing everything he was saying.
"Then the first day we met up for coffee in Ohio I could almost see the lyrics, they were just out of my line of sight, just on the tip of my tongue, but it wasn't until that day I called you that they came to me in a rush, just flooding out of me as I played and it was then that I realised something and understood why I hadn't been able to write the lyrics until that moment."
He spun slowly around on the piano bench to face Kurt, his shining hazel eyes searching Kurt's face. Kurt swallowed, barely breathing and frozen in place as Blaine slowly stood up and approached him. He sat down on the couch next to the armchair where Kurt sat so that they were merely inches apart.
"I realised that I couldn't write lyrics for so long because I hadn't had the right experience. It was some deep, undiscovered part of me that wrote the music and I couldn't reach that part again until I fell in love. And that's another thing," he added, seemingly talking to himself as much as he was to Kurt, "I thought I had been in-love with Jeremy at one point, but I guess I never truly was as it felt nothing like this."
Kurt finally found his tongue. "You thought you had been in-love with Jeremy? Aren't you two still together?"
Blaine shook his head. "We broke up around a week ago. We realised the feelings between us were no longer romantic, only friendship."
Kurt's breathing hitched. "Tim and I broke up as well," he whispered, unsure exactly why he felt he needed to tell Blaine this.
Blaine swallowed, his eyes darkening slightly. "That song is about you; about me struggling with writing the song for so long because I just needed to tell the truth to myself and realise that I had fallen for you." He paused. "I love you, Kurt," he whispered.
Kurt's heart skipped a beat and his eyes widened slightly as Blaine gazed up at him looking so apprehensive and vulnerable. Without even thinking about it, he leant forwards, eyes searching Blaine's face for any sign that he shouldn't do this – there wasn't one.
Their lips met, Kurt kissing Blaine softly, his heart somehow managing to accelerate more as Blaine responded and Kurt floated in a haze of unbelievable joy and love and bliss as they kissed. This was nothing like kissing Tim or Alex; Kurt didn't even realise it was possible to feel this way. As silly and cliché as it was, he could understand where the fireworks expression came from. This was a huge explosion of emotions like nothing he had ever experienced; beautiful and spectacular, it made him almost dizzy
Blaine's mouth opened against his and he only just held back a moan. Blaine tasted of coffee and something that was uniquely Blaine. Kurt couldn't get enough of it. He sucked Blaine's bottom lip into his mouth as Blaine's hand came up to cup his face, his thumb stroking slowly along the length of his cheekbone.
When they finally broke apart they were both breathing heavily. They stared at each other in wonder and amazement, as if they were seeing each other for the first time. Blaine's lips were swollen slightly, his cheeks had a light flush of colour, and his eyes were wide – he was the most beautiful sight Kurt had ever seen.
"I love you, too," Kurt whispered. "It took me a while to realise how I felt, but I've been falling for you a bit more every day since that first time I saw you on the subway." A smile stretched his face – he had never felt happier in his life than he did right now.
Blaine's smile was dazzling. "Who would have guessed it, falling in love on the subway."