Another month passed by, the weather getting steadily colder as autumn drew to an end and winter began. Kurt struggled to hold back an amused smirk whenever Blaine returned from work wearing the fedora hat he'd worn in his early days of arriving, but Blaine always got the last laugh, watching on smugly when Kurt grumbled under his breath while trying to fix hair ruined by wind and rain. The slightly stiff atmosphere left after Rachel's accusation towards Blaine had long since vanished and the three of them were living comfortably together, more so than they had been before Rachel had learned the truth. Now that Rachel knew what had been off about Blaine she was much more relaxed around him and Blaine now considered her a friend and not just an acquaintance.

A few days after Rachel had learned the truth, Kurt had talked to Blaine about him meeting his father and step-mother. The thought of meeting Kurt's family made Blaine almost sick with nerves, but he had some breathing time before the meeting: with Kurt's family still living in Ohio and everyone busy with work, Blaine wouldn't meet them until Christmastime when they were coming out to New York to visit.

Blaine's work at the music store was still going well and he'd yet to experience a day there that he didn't enjoy. His pupils were continuing to improve and his boss had told him how much praise he was receiving from the parents of the younger students.

When he'd received his first paycheck he'd been thrilled. Until then, he'd almost forgotten he was getting paid for giving those lessons; he enjoyed his job so much it didn't feel like work. The day he was paid he took Kurt out for dinner, taking great pleasure in paying for the meal with his own money.

"That's paying you back a little bit for everything you've done for me," he'd told Kurt as they'd left the restaurant together, hand-in-hand and with bellies full of Italian food, the taste of their shared tiramisu dessert lingering on their tongues.

They'd stopped at a road, waiting for a few cars to pass before they could cross, and Kurt had turned to Blaine with a somewhat exasperated smile.

"Blaine, that was you taking me out on a date."

Reaching up, he'd adjusted Blaine's bowtie with a small tug on its corner, and then he'd led Blaine across the road.

It was a night a little over a week later when Rachel realised something that made her gasp out loud in the middle of the movie they were watching.

Blaine turned to look at her with concern, while Kurt shot her a scowl.

"You ruined one of the best lines in the-"

"I just realised something," Rachel interrupted, plainly not listening to a word Kurt was saying.

Gesticulating towards the TV, Kurt continued to glare at Rachel, but when she still ignored him, he sighed heavily and paused the movie.

"You've never been to one of my shows," Rachel said, indicating Blaine with a small wave of her hand. "You've never seen me perform."

"I-" Blaine glanced at Kurt, feeling a little confused as to why this was such a big problem. Kurt rolled his eyes at him.

"I can't believe I never thought of this before," Rachel continued, looking excited. "I'll get tickets so you and Kurt can come to a show this week." She nodded and then turned back to the TV expectantly.

Kurt resumed the movie as Blaine turned to him with a bewildered look. Kurt shrugged and Blaine was left feeling as though he'd just been talked into something he didn't want, though he didn't at all mind going to see Rachel's show, in fact, he was curious about it.

Rachel arrived home from work the next day with tickets for Kurt and Blaine to see the show the following evening. Blaine had never seen someone so eager and excited about another person seeing them perform. He had heard her sing enough to know she had an incredible voice and he hoped her acting was as good; he didn't want to have to lie about how good he thought her performance was; he'd had enough of lying.

Blaine was still stewing over that thought as he got ready to leave the following evening. He and Kurt had decided to make a date out of it and were going to dinner before the show. He had carefully selected his outfit earlier and now, as he stood in front of the full length mirror on the back of the closet door, he admired his choice with satisfaction. The dark grey dress pants looked good with his blue shirt which, after a bit of deliberation, he'd rolled the sleeves of, and his grey bowtie finished the look off perfectly. He still found it a little strange not wearing a jacket and waistcoat all the time, but he had to admit he preferred the modern day fashions. There was a lot more choice and freedom and like Kurt had said all those months ago, it was a lot more comfortable.

He gave his bowtie one last tweak before going into the living area to wait for Kurt. He paced the floor as he waited, too pent up with a buzzing excitement to sit down. Thankfully, he didn't have to wait long as Kurt emerged from his room after only a few minutes of pacing, dressed impeccably in fitted black pants, a grey shirt that brought out his eyes, and a thin black tie.

His eyes darkened slightly when he spotted Blaine standing by the couch.

"You look beautiful," he said breathlessly.

Blaine's heart soared and pleasant warmth flooded his stomach. Before he'd met Kurt no one had ever called him beautiful. To him, beautiful was one of the greatest compliments to give or receive. It didn't mean pure good looks, it was confidence, happiness, and a bit of love as well; it was personality and relationship as well as appearance. Beauty wasn't superficial.

He fought the urge to duck his head as a light blush warmed his cheeks and a bashful smile crossed his face. "So do you," he told Kurt sincerely.

Kurt smiled. "Ready to go?"

They fetched their coats and Kurt wound a scarf around his neck - Kurt had a fondness for scarves, Blaine had noticed. They held hands as they headed downstairs in the elevator and hailed a cab to take them towards the heart of the city.

Kurt had chosen the restaurant and because of this he insisted he be the one to pay for their meal. As he waved away Blaine's fifth attempt to pay he requested Blaine stop spending all of his wages on him. There would be things he'd want to buy for himself and he should be saving for college as well; he shouldn't be spending all of his money on dates and flowers. Blaine had grumbled a bit in protest to this, but had eventually conceded defeat, allowing Kurt to pay, and then following him out of the restaurant to the theatre with good grace.

Rachel's show was performed in one of the smaller Broadway theatres, but nonetheless there was a large crowd milling about the foyer and spilling into the theatre proper to take their seats. Rachel had managed to snag them excellent seats right in the centre where they would have a good view of the stage. Wanting to see Rachel's name and profile in the Playbill, Blaine flicked eagerly through the little programme leaflet once they'd sat down while Kurt, who had seen it all many times before, played around on his phone.

When the lights dimmed and the voices all around them quietened, Blaine felt a rush of excitement. He'd always loved the atmosphere of live performances, that sense of unity. His stomach gave an excited jolt and an uncontrollable smile spread across his face when Rachel first stepped onto the stage - that was his friend up there.

He was left completely flabbergasted by the performance of not only Rachel, but the entire cast. Rachel was still a stand-out, despite her not playing a leading role. He already knew she was an amazing singer, but her acting and dancing was above par as well. He felt guilty for all the times he'd ever thought she might be someone who had an over-inflated opinion of their abilities and was glad he'd been proved wrong.

Rachel had told them to go backstage after the show, so as soon as curtain call was over, the lights were back up, and the rest of the audience were shuffling towards the doors, Kurt and Blaine went to Rachel's dressing room, finding her sitting looking at her phone and drinking from a bottle of water. She sat the phone aside when they entered the small room.

"Hey, guys!" she greeted them brightly. "Did you enjoy the show?" She looked between them eagerly, her gaze lingering on Blaine a little longer.

"I loved it," Blaine enthused. "You were incredible - a stand-out performance."

Rachel beamed at him.

"Thank you for the tickets; it was a wonderful show," Blaine said.

Rachel waved away his thanks. "I like to give all my friends tickets. They hear me talk about the show often enough, they deserve to come see it." She glanced at her phone when it buzzed on the table behind her. "Some of my cast mates have invited me out for drinks tonight and I was wondering if you two wanted to come along?" She nodded her head at Kurt. "Kurt knows them and they're all dying to meet his new man."

Blaine looked to Kurt as Rachel watched on expectantly. He didn't really mind whether they went or not - if Kurt wanted to go then he'd be happy to go along as well. He'd never been out anywhere for drinks in his life; with alcohol being illegal in his own time it was never something that was an option for him. This meant that not only did he have no idea what a bar was like, he had no experience whatsoever with alcohol. He knew from the stories of the bathtub brandy men who loitered the alleys of the city that alcohol didn't always bring out the best in people, but he hoped that if he didn't have more than a couple of drinks he wouldn't have that problem.

Kurt held his gaze for a moment, before shrugging and turning back to Rachel. "Sure, we'll come."

Rachel's smile widened even further. "Yay! Let me just get changed and then we can go."

Kurt moved towards the door, Blaine following. "We'll wait outside."

Once in the corridor outside, Kurt placed a hand on Blaine's arm.

"You're ok with going out with Rachel's friends, aren't you? They're nice enough - a little loud and excitable, but they're alright."

Blaine nodded. "It's fine." He paused. "I've never been to a bar or anything before, though."

Kurt blinked at him. "You've never-?" Then understanding hit. "Oh, right. That doesn't matter. You don't have to drink anything alcoholic if you don't want to."

Blaine shrugged. "We'll see. It's part of your culture, right? I should probably try it if I want to integrate myself in these times."

Kurt frowned. "I don't think-"

Taking Kurt's hand, Blaine smiled at him. "I'm only joking." He swung their joined hands gently between them. "Do you not have any friends you go for drinks with?" he asked, suddenly thoughtful. "You've never gone out with anyone but me since I moved in with you."

"I haven't been out with anyone but you, Rachel, and people Rachel has asked I go out with since Liam left," Kurt admitted in a small voice. "But maybe I should start meeting up with my college friends again."

Blaine gave him an encouraging smile. "I think you should."

Rachel joined them shortly afterwards and they set off. The bar Rachel and her friends had chosen was not too far from the theatre and was set in a prominent location, so they had to wiggle through a crowd of people thronging around the doors when they arrived. Once they'd managed to edge their way inside, Blaine looked around curiously.

It was a large, trendy place, spread over two floors, but still packed with people, most of them young and immaculately dressed. The bar was long and tended by several staff members who were taking orders and making up drinks with a speed that amazed him. The lighting was fairly dim, making shadows gather in the corners of the room, and the music was loud, the bass thumping above the buzz of dozens of conversations. Obscure artwork dominated the walls, interspaced with oddly-shaped lights which lit up the tables below them. Blaine immediately felt mildly claustrophobic.

Rachel was standing up on her toes, craning her neck to see over the heads of the people standing around in groups talking and drinking. She glanced briefly over her shoulder. "I'll grab us a table," she shouted over the music, before disappearing into the crowd.

Feeling sceptical, Blaine followed after her, Kurt at his side. He didn't think it was possible there was a free table somewhere, not when this many people were standing or leaning against the bar or walls. He was therefore stunned when he heard Rachel's voice calling his and Kurt's name and he turned to see Rachel seated at a free table, waving at them.

Kurt was equally as surprised.

"How did you find this?" he asked as he slid into the booth opposite her, Blaine taking the spot next to him.

Rachel smiled mysteriously. "I have my ways."

Kurt frowned slightly and opened his mouth to question her further, but was interrupted by the arrival of two young women, both blonde, whom Blaine recognised from the show - Rachel's friends.

"Hey, Kurt. Long time, no see!" the taller of the two greeted, sitting down next to Rachel, who slid further along the booth to make room for the other girl as well. She turned her wide smile to Blaine. "And this must be the boyfriend we've heard so much about!"

Blaine cleared his throat nervously, the small sound lost beneath the blaring music. "Blaine Anderson," he said, holding his hand out across the table first to the tall woman who'd spoken, and then to her friend, shaking their hands in greeting. "It's a pleasure to meet you both."

The two women exchanged the briefest of looks.

"You weren't exaggerating, were you, Rachel?" the shorter woman said. She smiled at Blaine. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Ellie."

"Sarah," the taller woman said. She glanced eagerly between Kurt and Blaine, like a bird eyeing up two juicy worms that had suddenly popped out of the ground. "I'm going to get us all some drinks and when I get back I want to hear all about how you two met." Standing up and squeezing past Ellie, she looked around the table. "What's everyone having - the usual?"

Three nods followed her question and Blaine began to silently panic, having no idea what to have.

Sarah's gaze turned on him. "Blaine?"

Trying not to let his panic show on his face, Blaine shot Kurt a pleading look, thinking he could help him out, but Kurt wasn't looking at him, he was leaning across the table saying something to Rachel.

Forcing a smile on his face, Blaine looked back up at Sarah. "I- I'll just have the same as Kurt," he stammered, feeling his cheeks heat up. He thanked the dim lighting for concealing his blush as Sarah headed for the bar.

Whilst she was gone they chatted about the show and Blaine started to relax, the pounding music sounding a little less extreme, no longer pulsing inside his head. He still wasn't too fond of having to shout to make himself heard above the noise in the bar, but the more used to it he became, the less it bothered him.

Rachel was lamenting on the difficulty of one of the songs she sang in the show when Sarah returned, somehow managing to carry all five glasses.

"I've had a lot of practice," she explained in response to Blaine's impressed look. She sat down next to Ellie. "What'd I miss?"

As Rachel gave her a run-down of the conversation they'd had in her absence, Blaine eyed the drink he'd been given, the liquid looking unnaturally bright under the bar's lighting.

Kurt leant close to him. "It's nice, I promise."

Blaine scrutinised the drink for another moment before lifting the glass and taking a tentative sip. Fruity sweetness exploded on his tongue alongside a strange, almost burning, tang. He had never tasted anything quite like it before. He raised his eyes from his glass to find Kurt watching him.

"Do you like it?"

Blaine gave a small shrug. "It's quite nice."

Across the table from them, Sarah set her glass down and leant her elbows on the table, looking over at Kurt and Blaine.

"So, how did you two meet?" she asked keenly.

Kurt and Blaine exchanged a look.

"We bumped into each other at a coffee shop," Kurt said, using the partial truth they'd told Rachel months ago. "After that first meeting I saw him at the same coffee shop every morning. We got to know each other, then I asked him out to dinner."

Blaine smiled fondly at Kurt as the girls cooed at them. Remembering all those meetings in the coffee shop, when seeing Kurt each morning helped relieve his fear and gave him a reason to leave his hotel room, warmed his heart. Those meetings were the bright spot in his bleak outlook and he would always hold the memories of them dearly.

Ellie was watching him curiously. "Tell us about yourself, Blaine. Are you a student or do you work in the city?"

Blaine's heart plummeted, the happy warmth bubbling inside of him fizzling out. He should have seen this coming - of course Rachel's friends would want to hear more about him - his job, if and where he was studying... He was back to telling lies once again.

Tension returned to his muscles and the smile on his face became fixed. The music was painfully loud once again, the bass booming and a female voice shrilling the same words over and over again. Someone jostled their table as they squeezed through the crowds. Claustrophobia crept in on him again.

Kurt and Rachel sipped at their drinks as Blaine told all the same lines he'd given to Rachel and Kurt before he'd told them the truth. Ellie and Sarah fired question after question at him and Blaine's palms began to sweat. He hated this. He hated that he had to tell all these lies and make a fake identity for himself in a time when he was supposed to be able to be himself. He hadn't escaped the life of masks and lies at all.

The music was too loud and unfamiliar, his drink was an odd, almost fluorescent colour, the bar was too crowded, dozens of bodies were packed into far too small a space, and he was lying again, desperately trying to hide that he was a twenties man in the twenty-first century. He felt so overwhelmed.

With his hands now shaking, Blaine tried to focus on the conversation at the table, but they had moved onto a subject completely unfamiliar to him, full of unrecognisable names and foreign places. His feelings of distress reached the point of overflow.

He jumped to his feet. The conversation at the table cut off and they all looked up at him, Kurt with concern beginning to unfold behind his eyes.

"I need some air," he told them.

Rachel, Sarah, and Ellie watched on as he stepped out of the booth.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

Blaine turned back to see Kurt with his hand resting on the table, poised to get up. The concern in his eyes was more pronounced.

Shaking his head, Blaine tried to look reassuring. "No, it's ok. It's just a bit warm in here, that's all. I'll be back in a few minutes."

He could feel Kurt's worried gaze on his back as he moved away from the table and wound his way through the crowd towards the doors. Once the doors were in sight his stride quickened until he was almost jogging around one final group of people, before darting through the doors and out onto the street.

The cold night air stung his flushed cheeks and his panting breath rose in a smoky cloud in front of him, but he barely noticed the chill as he leant against the wall near the door of the bar, despite leaving his coat inside. Closing his eyes, he tried to calm his racing heart and trembling hands, but the realisation causing this wasn't something that was easy to shake off. He didn't belong here.

It wasn't a new fact to him, he'd known from the moment he'd realised he was in the future that he didn't belong, but he'd never truly realised just how much of an outcast he was here. It had always been a lingering thought in his mind, but it had been small and easy to ignore, until tonight. For some reason tonight was his tipping point. Being here in a bar with some of Rachel's friends, a pretty typical night out for a group of young people in the city, proved just how out of his depth he was here; just how alien he was. And he couldn't see this changing. Even if he spent another thirty years in this era, making a life for himself here and learning the ways of the people, he was certain he'd always feel out of place. On occasion something would come up that would throw him, reminding him of how he wasn't supposed to be here. There would still be that nagging thought that he didn't belong.

Exhaling shakily, he listened to the muffled thumping of the bass from the music still playing inside the bar. It pounded along in time with the throbbing headache beginning to take up residence somewhere behind his eyes. Squeezing his eyes shut tighter, he rubbed a hand over his face. He wanted nothing more than to go home and curl up in bed with Kurt, to sleep off his headache and clear his head of the unsettling, painful thoughts currently growing there. He wanted to bury his face in the crook of Kurt's neck and breathe in his familiar, soothing scent until morning came around and his head was on straight again.

"Blaine? Are you ok?"

A hand touched his arm and Blaine opened his eyes to find Kurt gazing at him, a worried frown creasing his forehead.

Blaine hurried to smooth out his troubled expression; he didn't want Kurt to know what he was thinking, not until he was sure he was thinking straight and that the thought forming in his mind was definitive.

He forced a smile. "I'm fine. I'm not really used to being somewhere as crowded and loud as this." He nodded his head towards the door of the bar.

Kurt scrutinised him for a moment and Blaine held his breath, waiting for him to realise he wasn't being truthful and to try and prise out what was really bothering him.

He let out a relieved sigh when Kurt smiled apologetically.

"Yeah, it's not everyone's scene," he said. "Sorry for dragging you along here. We can go now if you want?"

Blaine waved away his offer. "I'll be alright. You haven't seen your friends or been out like this for a while. Go enjoy yourself, I'll be back to join you in a minute."

When Kurt made no move to go back inside, but continued to gaze at him with concern, Blaine added, "I'm fine, Kurt - really."

"If you're sure," Kurt said, not looking all that convinced. He rubbed Blaine's arm before dropping his hand. "We won't stay that much longer. Come back in when you're ready." Leaning in, he brushed a soft kiss to Blaine's cheek, before he disappeared back into the bar.

As soon as he was gone, Blaine closed his eyes again, letting his head fall back against the wall. He breathed deeply and slowly, trying to shake the unsettled feeling.

When he opened his eyes again it was immediately apparent just how foreign the modern world still was to him. He'd been here months now, but he was still lost. He felt just as out of place as he did the day he arrived. He was still completely ignorant of how to live properly in this time.

He blew out another smoky cloud of breath and as he watched it dissipate in the air before him another thought occurred to him. What if his unsettled feeling was because he was upsetting the natural balances of the world? He'd disrupted something big by coming here - some force or another - and he must be continuing to do so by remaining here. By the laws of the universe he didn't belong here and he never would, no matter how long he stayed or if he managed to blend into modern society. He realised that now.

He stayed there outside the bar staring at nothing and trying not to think of the horrible realisation that was becoming stronger and clearer the more time went by. When his breathing had evened up a little and his pulse had steadied, he went back inside, knowing Kurt would be worrying about him. As he approached their table he could see Rachel laughing with Ellie and Sarah, but Kurt was fidgeting with his glass, casting a worried look around the crowds every now and then. When Blaine reached the table, he scrutinised him closely, looking concerned.

"I'm alright," Blaine assured him before he could ask.

Kurt didn't look convinced, but moved over so Blaine could sit down.

Blaine tried to feign normalcy, but Kurt knew something was wrong - he kept glancing his way and the worried frown hadn't left his face. After about five minutes of this, Kurt leant in close to Blaine.

"Do you want to go home?" he whispered in his ear.

A strange jolt passed through Blaine and his pulse accelerated to an uncomfortable pace. He swallowed thickly.

"I'm ok," he replied, his voice trembling slightly despite his best efforts to control it. "We can stay as long as you want."

Kurt shook his head. "We're going home." He stood up, taking hold of Blaine's hand and tugging him up with him. The three girls broke off their conversation to stare at them. "We're going to head home," he told them. "Blaine's got a bit of a headache. See you guys later."

Rachel shifted forward in her seat, looking like she was about to say something, but Kurt had pulled Blaine out of the booth before she got the chance. Ingrained manners not allowing him to just walk away, Blaine turned back and called over his shoulder: "It was nice meeting you!"

Walking out of the bar was, once again, a relief for Blaine. The silent journey home in the cab, however, was not. Silence gave him the opportunity to wallow in his thoughts and to allow that unthinkable realisation to grow ever stronger. Kurt's thumb was stroking over the top of his hand in what was supposed to be a comforting gesture, but to Blaine was a torturous reminder of what he had here but would never have in his own time. He knew Kurt was waiting until they got home before he asked him what was really bothering him, but he wished his boyfriend would say something - anything - just to break the silence. He would have spoken if only his throat weren't choked up too tightly to speak.

He managed to swallow around this tightness when they arrived back at the apartment and Kurt turned to face him.

"Ok, what's really wrong?" he asked, his voice laden with concern, so much that Blaine felt all his resolve to maintain the pretence that he only had a headache dissolve.

He rubbed at a spot above his right eyebrow where a headache now really was brewing. "I- Sometimes it just feels too wrong and I so obviously don't belong in this time. Sometimes I feel so out of place and overwhelmed by it all."

Kurt's expression softened. "Blaine..." He stepped forward and wrapped Blaine in a hug, which Blaine returned gratefully, clutching at him tightly. "I forget how hard this must be for you; that it's more than just getting the right papers and learning enough to pass as someone from this time." He rubbed at Blaine's back and Blaine squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his cheek against Kurt's neck. "If you ever feel like this again, tell me and I'll do what I can to help. We can talk or spend a day on the couch together - whatever makes you feel better." He pulled back a little and gave Blaine a quick kiss. "I want you to be happy."

Something inside Blaine's chest throbbed dully at these words. He inhaled deeply and shakily, trying to ignore it. "Can you- Can we go to bed? I just want to go to bed and to- to be with you."

Kurt nodded immediately, smiling at him gently. "Of course, sweetheart." He took Blaine's hand and led the way through to the hall, pausing outside the door to his bedroom and glancing at Blaine, a question in his eyes.

"Your room, please," Blaine whispered.

Nodding again, Kurt let go of Blaine's hand and placed his on Blaine's shoulders. "Do you want to go get changed first?"

"I'll be back in a few minutes," Blaine said, before hurrying down to his room where he quickly changed into his sleep wear and brushed his teeth. When he returned to Kurt's room, knocking on the door in case he was changing, he found Kurt rubbing a splodge of cream into his cheeks. He waved a hand at his bed.

"Take whichever side you want. I'll join you in a second."

Blushing, Blaine eyed the bed for a moment before picking the left-hand side as the pillow looked less rumpled which led him to guess Kurt slept on the other side. He got under the covers, shivering slightly from the cool sheets, and lay down, breathing in Kurt's scent which seemed particularly strong in his bed. He inhaled deeply, feeling some of the tension drain out of him.

Kurt was back from the bathroom moments later, smiling at the sight of Blaine curled up in his bed. He clicked off the light, climbed in beside him, and rolled over to face him in the dark. He noticed Blaine tugging the covers further up his neck.

"Cold?" Kurt whispered, the darkness making speaking any louder seem wrong. Without waiting for an answer, he slid closer to Blaine, curling an arm around his waist and tangling their legs together. He jerked a little when Blaine's foot brushed an exposed bit of his calf.

"Sorry," Blaine whispered, realising his feet must be freezing. He moved his foot away where it wouldn't touch Kurt.

Kurt just smiled and leaned closer so he could nuzzle his nose against Blaine's. "Do you want to talk or do you want to sleep?"

"Sleep," Blaine replied immediately. He wanted to avoid thinking if he could.

Kurt kissed him sweetly, his lips lingering against Blaine's before he moved back. "Goodnight, Blaine."

"Goodnight," Blaine whispered back.

Kurt was worried.

The morning after Blaine had confessed his struggles with living in the future he had been almost too bright and cheery, making Kurt breakfast and singing softly as he tidied the apartment with a constant large smile on his face. He had brushed off all of Kurt's attempts to talk about the night before, saying he was fine now and it was just one of those moments where he wound himself up by thinking too much. He seemed happy and relaxed and normal. But Kurt knew better.

Whenever Blaine thought Kurt was preoccupied with something the smile would disappear from his face and his brow would wrinkle into a frown. Sometimes, when Kurt would look up at him a flash of something pained and disturbed would flicker deep in Blaine's eyes before the smile was back again. His feeling of not belonging was obviously still troubling him, and what scared Kurt the most was that he didn't want to talk to him about it.

He didn't want it to be like this between them. He wanted them to feel comfortable sharing anything and everything with each other, especially stuff that was bothering them. It had never been a problem with them before which could only mean that whatever Blaine was keeping to himself was something he felt would hurt Kurt.

There was only one thing Kurt could think of that fit. His heart clenched painfully at the thought.

He decided to confront Blaine about it again; to try and get him to talk about it all. He hated knowing Blaine was feeling upset and troubled more than the thought of what might be the cause of it all. He had to talk to Blaine.

The opportunity arose at dinner one night. Rachel was at work and the apartment was quiet save for the scraping of their cutlery and the sound of Blaine's voice as he finished telling Kurt about his afternoon at work. Kurt waited until he'd finished speaking and was taking a drink before he brought the topic up.

"Blaine?" he began, sounding tentative despite his plans to be quite firm so that Blaine wouldn't brush him off.

Swallowing a mouthful of soda, Blaine lifted his eyebrows inquiringly.

Kurt nudged a pea with his fork, fighting the urge to look down at his plate. "I think we need to talk about the other night - the night we went to Rachel's show," he added for clarification.

Blaine set his glass down on the table and opened his mouth to respond with what Kurt knew was going to be a vague comment about how it was nothing to be concerned about, like the ones he'd been churning out since the morning after, but Kurt spoke up again before he got the chance.

"Don't tell me it's nothing. I know it has been bothering you since then. I've noticed you looking worried and upset when you thought I wasn't looking."

Blaine's face fell and he shifted in his seat, his eyes darting briefly over to his right as though wishing he could run away from the conversation.

Kurt set his cutlery down and leaned his elbows on the table. He looked pleadingly at Blaine. "I don't want you to feel like you have to hide things from me. I want us to be open and honest with each other, especially if something is troubling either of us."

Biting his lip, Blaine nodded. "I didn't mean-" he mumbled. He broke off with a pained look. "It's my problem, it's something I need to set straight in my own head, so I didn't want to bother you with it," he said in a small voice.

Kurt wanted to reach across the table and take his hand, but Blaine had dropped them down into his lap. He leaned a little further across the table instead.

"Blaine, honey, your problems are my problems, too. Whenever you're unhappy about something I'm unhappy as well. How can I be happy when I know something is getting you down?" One side of his mouth lifted a little in a small, sad smile. "I would much rather you shared your problems with me so I can do everything I can to help. Plus, I always find talking about my problems with someone makes me feel a lot better and more positive about them."

Blaine nodded, looking pained once again. "You're right - I'm sorry. I'm so used to bottling everything up and keeping it to myself." He met Kurt's eyes. "Whenever I reached my overflow limit I would go for a walk around the city with Wes and unload everything that had been troubling me for the last month or so on him. I always felt bad for doing it, but I couldn't help it." He lifted his shoulders in a small shrug. "I guess I'm doing the same thing now with you."

Kurt smiled at him encouragingly and Blaine nodded his head slightly, as if agreeing with himself to tell Kurt.

"I- I'm worried it's going to be a lot harder to live here than I expected and that I might not be able to experience all my dreams like I thought." He gave a small shrug, his gaze dropping down to his lap. "Maybe I didn't think this through all that well."

Every muscle in Kurt's body tensed, his heart seemed to stop beating, and everything around him stilled as he waited, waited, waited for the next line; for the confession that followed from what Blaine had said. His body suddenly felt much more fragile, and he had a vivid mental image of his hands holding a delicate porcelain heart, vulnerable to cracks and shattering.

Thankfully, his mind was still strong enough to not let this fragility show. He waited as Blaine's eyes searched his for a moment, looking extremely conflicted. He waited, but it never came.

"I haven't been sleeping well because of this," Blaine continued, his voice shaking slightly. "I think being tired is making it worse; lack of sleep has always made it easier for me to wind myself up."

Kurt exhaled slowly and his porcelain heart tentatively began to beat again. Maybe his gut feeling was wrong and Blaine wasn't trying to prevent a painful fact from being released into the open.

He pushed back his chair and got up to sit in the empty seat next to Blaine. Blaine turned to him with large, pained eyes which threatened to crack his heart. He reached for his boyfriend's hands.

"I can't promise you living here will be easy or that you will achieve everything you ever hoped to, but I will promise to do everything I can to make you happy and to have the life you always wished you could have," he said softly.

Blaine bit his lip, his eyes becoming glassy with tears. Kurt let go of one of his hands in favour of cupping his face.

"I don't know of any other people in your situation, but I can imagine they would be going through similar struggles," he said as reassuringly as he could. "Travelling into the future could never be as easy and light-hearted like some people think; it was always going to be tough. Unfortunately, you didn't have a say in coming here, but you do have a say in what happens now that you are here. It will get easier for you; you just have to get through the hard times first, and I'll be here for them, I promise."

Blaine managed a weak smile and when he turned his head to kiss Kurt's palm, Kurt felt a tiny bit of tension leave him. Just a little.

He dipped his head to kiss the tip of Blaine's nose. "Now let's go cuddle in front of a dumb romantic comedy and then we can go to bed so you can catch up on some sleep." He pecked Blaine on the lips and then sat back, smoothing his thumb over Blaine's cheekbone. He made to draw his hand back, but Blaine reached up and covered it with his own, holding it against his face for a moment, before letting it slip away. Kurt stared at him as his hand fell back into his lap and then he stood up, tugging Blaine to his feet and trying to shake off the odd, nameless feeling that had settled over him.

Kurt barely watched the movie, focusing his attention instead on Blaine. He continually rubbed softly at his sides, massaged his biceps with his thumb, stroked the curve of his jaw and neck, and carded his fingers through the soft, gel-free hair at the back of his neck, his fingernails gently scratching his scalp. Blaine was lying heavily against him, his eyes half closed and his breathing deep and slow. He was warm and loose-limbed, and Kurt hoped that meant he was drowsy enough to get a good night's sleep.

He clicked off the TV. "Come on," he murmured, running his fingers through Blaine's hair again and wishing Blaine had washed the gel out. "Bed time." He helped Blaine unsteadily to his feet, allowing the smaller man to lean against him as they stumbled through to Kurt's bedroom where he ignored Blaine's sleepy protest and stripped them both down to their underwear before they fell into bed.

As soon as Kurt's head hit the pillow he yawned hugely, hearing his jaw click quietly. He rolled over to face Blaine and curled himself around him, holding his boyfriend against his chest.

"Sweet dreams, Blaine."

He got no response and realised Blaine had fallen asleep already. With a content sigh he nuzzled the back of Blaine's neck and let his eyes fall shut, waiting for sleep to take him.

It didn't. Instead his worries over Blaine rose to the surface again and he lay listening to Blaine's soft, deep breathing as he fretted for over an hour before he finally exhausted himself enough to fall asleep.

The good night's sleep seemed to help Blaine a little. The circles disappeared from beneath his eyes and the drawn look that had been on his face vanished, but the pain remained in his eyes, increasing as the days went by. Kurt knew Blaine's reasons for keeping the worst of his troubles to himself, but it still hurt that Blaine wouldn't tell him, and despite the fact that the thought of it made Kurt's chest ache and the air inside of his lungs freeze solid, he decided he would be the one to voice it.

So he did.

"I know," Kurt whispered, tightness in his throat making any sort of volume impossible. "I know and it's ok; I understand."

With a puzzled frown on his face, Blaine looked up from the piano book he'd been pursuing. Kurt had abandoned his sketches almost twenty minutes ago, not long after Rachel had left for the theatre, recognising an ideal opportunity to bring up what they were both so desperately and fruitlessly trying to bury. It had taken him those last twenty minutes to work up the courage to speak.

"You... know?" Blaine repeated in confusion.

Kurt swallowed thickly and nodded, his hands shaking so badly he had to lace them together in his lap in an effort to control them. "I know-" His voice choked off and he had to pause to breathe around the stiff iron clamp squeezing his chest and to fight back the tears prickling in his eyes. "I- I know you want to go back."

He spoke these words so quietly, barely a whisper, that he wasn't sure Blaine had even heard him at first, but Blaine had frozen in place, his eyes widening marginally, his chest rising and falling quickly in a shallow gasp.

"But it's ok," Kurt assured him. He tried to clear his throat to make his voice sound less robotic, but something hard was sticking in it, causing him to make an odd choking sound. "It's only natural for you to want to go back to your family - to where you belong."

"Kurt-" Blaine's eyes were filled with tears and the piano book slipped in his trembling grasp. He caught it mechanically before it fell and looked down at it as though he couldn't remember what he was holding and why.

"I have always been surprised you chose to stay here," Kurt continued, tears beginning to blur his vision. "I was delighted you did, of course, but like I said: if you're not happy, then I'm not happy, and you haven't been happy lately."

"Kurt," Blaine sobbed. Tears were flowing freely down his face now, but he didn't raise a hand to wipe them away, letting them collect under his chin before dripping down onto his clothes where they left large, damp splotches.

Kurt's lips had begun to tremble, but he ploughed resolutely on with his speech. "You want to go home and you have my blessing to do so. I'll be happy knowing you're back with your family and friends and the New York you are familiar with."

He stopped there, unable to say anything more as pain flared through his chest and tears gathered thickly in the corners of his eyes. He bit his lip to stop it wobbling and blinked rapidly to try and clear the tears. He had to be strong for Blaine. He didn't want him to stay here where he felt uncomfortable and wrong because of him and how upset he was. He wasn't strong enough; seconds later the tears fell and a shallow, shaking, wet gasp of air escaped through his quivering lips.

Blaine was the picture of heartbroken and apologetic. His face was scrunched up with pain, his face was soaking wet and shiny with tears, and his large, wet eyes were filled with sadness and deep, sincere apology.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered.

The heavy rain that had started that morning became torrential. It lashed against the windows, hundreds of large drops drumming loudly against the glass as they were thrown against it by the wind. The sky darkened further, the lamps seeming to glow brighter, and tears continued to flow down the faces of two young men being torn apart by time.

As they gazed at each other the gale outside dropped a little and the rain was no longer being thrown violently against the windows. Instead, it pattered loudly against the window ledge, splashes tapping less severely against the glass, and streaked the windows in a steady flow, turning the outside world into a blur. If his life had been a movie, Kurt would have rolled his eyes at how cliché the weather was, but as it was, he appreciated how much it suited his mood and the situation.

"Will you dance with me?" Kurt asked quietly, the pitch of his voice rising and falling from his strong emotions. "One last time?"

Without saying anything, Blaine got to his feet, dropping the music book on the couch. He stumbled across the few strides between the two of them until he was in front of Kurt. He held out his hand in invitation, just as he'd done back on the night of the beautiful dinner date on the roof.

Another tear slid down Kurt's face as he placed his hand in Blaine's and got to his feet. As Blaine led them to a free space of floor, he swiped his arm under his chin, wiping away the tears clinging there. When Blaine reached a suitable spot, he spun to face Kurt and rested a hand on his waist.

"There's no music," he said.

"We don't need any music," Kurt replied, placing a hand on Blaine's shoulder and holding back a sob when Blaine slid his hand round to the small of his back and pulled him close, hooking his chin over his shoulder. Squeezing his eyes shut, Kurt pressed his cheek against Blaine's head and held him close as they started to dance, swaying slightly from side-to-side and taking tiny steps across the floor. They weren't really dancing, more holding each other as they moved in a small circle. Their bare feet dragged against the wooden floors, making slight squeaking sounds every now and then. Tears streaked silently down both of their faces as they clutched each other tighter and closer. They could never be close enough.

"I will never forget you," Kurt whispered.

Blaine's response was to grip Kurt's hand tighter and bury his face deeper into the curve of Kurt's neck. Kurt could feel the dampness of his tears on his skin and shirt.

Kurt's porcelain heart was cracking. Each breath he breathed in was filled with Blaine's scent and it splintered another spidering crack into his heart. He would no longer be able to cuddle with Blaine on the couch, feel his arms curl around his waist from behind while he washed the dishes, or kiss him on the cheek before leaving for work. He'd hoped for so many more years with Blaine, for hundreds - thousands - more memories. He'd been looking forward to many more mornings of waking up with Blaine by his side, to Christmases in Ohio, to spontaneous trips away for birthdays or anniversaries or no good reason at all, and to stupid fights that ended after only a few hours with flowers and apologies. He'd wanted everything with him.

At some point they had stopped moving and were now simply standing in the middle of the floor holding each other close. Their hands were still clasped and held up level with their hearts, and their heads were still resting against each other, Blaine's face tucked into Kurt's neck. Rain continued to patter against the windows and the wind was still howling between the buildings every now and then. Kurt didn't know how long they stood there like that, but eventually it began to dawn on him, slowly and painfully, that it would be best for both for them if Blaine left as soon as possible. If he stayed longer, dragging out the goodbye, Kurt didn't think he could handle it; he would break down and either beg Blaine to stay or shut himself off like he had done after Liam left, only this would be worse.

As if their thoughts were synchronised, they both lifted their heads and stepped back from each other a little bit, just enough so they could see each other's faces.

"It's probably for the best if I try and go back today," Blaine said in a thick, strangled voice. "I don't think I could handle-" He bit back a sob. "I couldn't manage another night together knowing I have to leave."

Kurt nodded his understanding, far too choked up to speak. He sucked in a shuddering breath and tried to get his voice back.

"We only have to contact the music store to tell them you're leaving and Kayleigh to- to-" He couldn't finish his sentence.

Blaine's face crumpled again and he let go of Kurt's hand so he could throw his arms around him, pulling him into a fierce, tight hug. Kurt's arms went over his shoulders, holding the smaller man against him. He squeezed his eyes shut when Blaine pressed his lips against his shoulder and felt more tears slipping down his face.

They held each other until it became too painful. Once they'd let go, Blaine went to go splash some water on his face and try and calm down enough to call his work, while Kurt picked up his cell phone from the table and scrolled through to Kayleigh's number, feeling oddly detached from his body, as though he wasn't sure if this was all real or not.

Kayleigh answered after only a few rings. Kurt was glad she was available to talk.

"Blaine wants to go back," he said once she'd greeted him.

There was silence for a moment and the phone shook in Kurt's grasp, then Kayleigh made a sad, sympathetic noise.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt. I know you two are close."

Kurt swallowed as another stab of pain flared in his chest. He couldn't deal with sympathy or anyone trying to be comforting right now.

"Are you able to help him?" he asked.

"Of course," Kayleigh assured him. "When?"

"Today if you can. It's best if he goes back quickly."

"Ok..." Kayleigh sounded more hesitant now, but she didn't get it, she didn't get how painful it was or how the need to get down on his knees and beg Blaine to stay was rising more strongly and rapidly inside of him the more time passed by.

"Can you do it today?" Kurt pressed.

"Yeah, no problem." She paused. "How about at four? I can meet you outside the coffee shop."

Kurt spun to look at the clock on the kitchen wall - that was just under two hours away; time for them to get ready and for travelling there.

"That should be fine. Thank you."

"I'll see you then," Kayleigh said, before hanging up.

He dropped his phone down onto the couch and thought about collapsing next to it and letting himself cry, but decided not to.

He had to stay strong for Blaine. He could let all his pain out once he was gone.

Hearing footsteps behind him, he turned round, swiping away the tears on his cheeks, to find Blaine approaching him hesitantly, as if afraid of how being too close to Kurt would affect him. Blaine was still crying, his eyes red and watery, his cheeks puffy and shiny with tears. He'd changed into the clothes he'd been wearing on the day he'd arrived, but they were slightly rumpled and blotted with damp spots. Even though his clothes looked a mess, Kurt thought he was beautiful and there was still a giddy flutter in his chest at the sight of him.

"My boss was disappointed, but knew I would have to go back to Connecticut sometime. He understands," Blaine said flatly.

Kurt found himself nodding in response. "I called Kayleigh," he said and saw Blaine brace his hands on the back of the couch he was now standing by. "She's going to meet you by the coffee shop at four."

Blaine's jaw tightened. He nodded stiffly.

Kurt hesitated, twisting his hands together, hoping he wouldn't upset Blaine even more with his next suggestion. "I- I think it's best if I- If I don't come with you."

Blaine stared at him, his reaction difficult to discern through the multitude of emotions in his expression.

"If you want me to come, then I'll come," Kurt added quickly. "I just think it would be better for both of us if I didn't. I'd rather say our final goodbyes here." He blinked as more tears welled up in his eyes.

"I think so, too," Blaine whispered. He sniffed. "I don't want a horrible, dragged-out goodbye. I don't want the last you see of me to be me vanishing into the past. I- I'd rather say goodbye here in private and go meet Kayleigh alone."

Kurt glanced at the clock again. One hour and forty minutes left. The tightness in his chest increased.

"I'm going to wash my face quickly then I'll...be back." He waved his hand towards the bathroom.

He walked briskly down the hallway heading not for the bathroom, but Blaine's bedroom at the end of the hall. As soon as he entered the small room he made a beeline for the dresser against the back wall. After tugging open the top drawer in which he knew Blaine kept his bowties, he rummaged through them until he found the one he'd bought him way back on their first shopping trip together. It was navy blue with red stripes. Blaine had worn it more than any of the others he'd acquired in his time here.

Slipping the bowtie into his pocket, he left the room, quickly washed up in the bathroom, and then returned to the living room where Blaine was sitting on the couch staring across the apartment, his forehead scrunched as though in pain.

Without saying anything, Kurt sat down next to him, looking over at the piano which had been getting so much use the last few weeks, beautiful music filling the apartment, but would now most likely be left to gather dust. Kurt didn't think he'd be able to bear touching it again, not with so many memories of Blaine sitting playing it.

"I'm sorry it had to be this way," Blaine said.

Kurt looked at him: he was still staring straight ahead, still frowning.

"No," Kurt protested. He placed a hand on Blaine's shoulder, making him turn his head to look at him. "No, don't you dare be sorry! This isn't your fault. It's one of those things; one of those things that had to happen. We both knew it might when we started this relationship - hell, we knew it well before then - but we still carried on, we still allowed ourselves to grow closer. And do you know what?" He placed his left hand on Blaine's other shoulder, holding his boyfriend's gaze. "I don't regret any of it, and I never will. All that time with you was more than worth it."

Blaine sniffed, his frown smoothing into lines of sadness rather than self-torture. "Kurt," he breathed.

Closing his eyes, Kurt leaned in and rested their foreheads together, his hands slipping over Blaine's shoulders until his arms were looped around his neck. He didn't know what he'd do without Blaine's closeness and the feel of his skin on his own or his breath against his lips, but he'd deal with the pain later. Right now he wanted to savour every last second they had together.

As they sat there Kurt was aware of the time until Blaine had to leave trickling away like water in cupped hands. The ticking of time had never seemed so loud to him. He had never realised how powerful and significant it was. He had always thought of it as a convenience, an easy way to plan the day and arrange meetings; he'd never realised it could play so much stake in his life and happiness.

The clock was ticking and Kurt's panic was rising. He wanted to somehow have everything with Blaine in the last hour they had together; to squeeze all the time they could have had into sixty short minutes. He also wanted to say goodbye to him properly, to express how much he'd miss him and how much he treasured their time together. He wanted all of this, but he had no idea how to do it or how to put his feelings into words.

"Can I kiss you?" Blaine whispered.

It pained Kurt that he felt he had to ask. Blaine was as lost as he was right now. Both of them had so much they wanted to express in a limited time and they had become unsure and almost shy.

"Blaine," Kurt breathed, his hold on the other man tightening. "Of course."

Kissing Blaine right now would hurt, he knew that, but he needed it desperately. If he didn't share one last kiss with Blaine he would regret it for the rest of his days.

It was as slow and tentative as their first kiss had been - a bittersweet reminder. Blaine's breath ghosted over Kurt's mouth for a moment, his lips tantalisingly close, and then the sliver of space between them vanished as their lips were pressed together. Their mouths moved together sweetly and slowly, like they were getting to know each other for the first time. Blaine's lips were salty from his tears and this, plus the sweet sadness of the kiss, made a few more tears spill down Kurt's cheeks.

They broke the kiss after a short period. Kurt basked in the rush of both warm and painful emotions that rose up inside of him, until desperation burst out of him in a whine and he surged forwards to capture Blaine's mouth in his own again. Blaine's hand fisted in the back of his shirt as they kissed, his lips parting beneath Kurt's, allowing Kurt to slip his tongue inside. Kurt hoped this was something he'd never forget: these feelings of need and love and electricity and connection. He couldn't see himself ever feeling this way about another person, so he hoped his memory would hold onto this, to all of Blaine and every second they had shared together.

When they parted to breathe, gasping breaths drawn into heaving lungs, Kurt slipped his hand down and pulled the bowtie from his pocket. With a quick glance up at Blaine, he tucked it quickly and discreetly into the pocket of Blaine's pants. Something for him to remember him by, in case details slipped from his mind. A token from his visit to the future. He just hoped it would survive the journey back through time.

They spent their precious remaining time together holding each other, whispering soft words of affection and remembrance, and exchanging passionate kisses. Kurt tried to keep his eyes open and on Blaine so he could commit every tiny detail, every miniscule freckle on Blaine's nose, to memory. It wasn't easy and his eyes often slipped closed when he became lost in the feeling of Blaine's lips on his or his hand caressing his face. He opened his eyes after one such kiss and, with a heavy sigh, turned to look at the clock.

Four minutes until Blaine had to leave.

The slump of his posture and the sharp increase of sadness in his eyes had Blaine checking the clock as well. He echoed Kurt's resigned sigh.

"I have to go," he whispered.

"You have to go," Kurt agreed. They really couldn't put off him leaving much longer. They'd agreed for him to meet Kayleigh at a specific time and they didn't want to make her wait, not after everything she'd done for them.

Blaine's arms tightened around Kurt's waist and he pressed his face into the spot where his neck met his shoulder, inhaling deeply. Kurt kissed his head and tried his best not to start bawling.

After a long moment, Blaine drew back, lifting his head and meeting Kurt's eyes with a watery gaze. "Thank you for everything you've done for me."

"Blaine..." Kurt chastised. There was nothing for him to be thanked for.

"I'm serious, Kurt," Blaine said, his voice sincere and firm beneath his tears. "You've given me so much."

Smiling sadly, Kurt caressed Blaine's cheek affectionately. "Thank you for trusting me."

Blaine looked like he wanted to say something else but perhaps he couldn't find the words. Instead he leant in to kiss him again - short, sweet, and sad.

One minute to go.

Kurt sat back and, mutely, gestured towards the front door. Blaine bit his lip and nodded.

Their hands remained joined as they stood up and moved over to the door, feet dragging out each step in an effort to make time slow down. Far too soon they reached the door.

They stared at each other. Thousands of words, hundreds of touches, countless smiles: all would be missed out on, and there was nothing that could be said or done in their final minute together that could replace them. The look they shared implied that which pained them too much to say: hoping the other would find happiness, would get to achieve their dreams, and would never forget the time they shared.

Blaine stepped forward for one last hug, both of them gripping the back of each other's shirts and crying silently into their shoulders, then they broke apart, their hands still clinging on to each other as Blaine moved closer to the door, until they were forced to let go.

With his hand on the door handle, Blaine held Kurt's gaze.

"I read in a book one time I was in the library that when we look at the stars we see not how they appear at that very moment, but rather how they were years and years ago. They are from the past as well. When you look at the stars, think of me, and I'll do the same for you. Then we will still be connected, in a way." A corner of Blaine's mouth lifted into a sad smile. "The world changes a lot as time goes by, but the sky doesn't. We'll be looking at the same sky."

Kurt was speechless; his tears and emotions finally choking up his throat completely. He could only nod his head in agreement to Blaine's words and watch as Blaine seemed to struggle with himself for a moment, before he swallowed and opened the door.

"Goodbye, Kurt."

He stepped out into the hall and was about to close the door when Kurt managed to unstick his throat enough to choke out, "Goodbye."

The sound of the door closing behind him was horrible. It would never open to reveal him again.

With a strangled sob, Kurt stumbled towards the door, before realising what he was doing and stopping. He couldn't go chasing after Blaine; it wouldn't do any good.

Tears flowing thick and fast down his face and with broken, gasping sobs being ripped from his body every few seconds, Kurt stood staring at the door for what must have been a good twenty minutes. He had no idea what to do with himself and no motivation to go anywhere else, so he just stood there. He didn't know what made him eventually turn on his heel and pad through to Blaine's room, his walk uncoordinated and unbalanced; he was almost surprised when he found himself standing in the small room that smelt painfully like Blaine.

Something lying on the bed caught his eye. Numbly, with only a ghost of curiosity, he shuffled over to see what it was, letting out a broken cry when he recognised it.

Blaine's pocket watch.

With a shaking hand, he picked it up, turning the cool, gold watch over in his hand and smoothing his thumb over the abstract, swirling engraving on the cover. He'd always admired the watch which he'd learnt had been passed down to Blaine from his grandfather. He couldn't believe that Blaine had left it for him. Like the bowtie he had slipped in Blaine's pocket, Blaine must have wanted Kurt to have something of his; something to remind him that what they'd had wasn't a dream.

"Blaine," he breathed, rubbing his thumb over the cover again.

It suddenly hit him that he'd never had the chance to tell Blaine just how much he cared for him, how much he meant to him. Bashfulness, lack of courage, and worry about the nature of their relationship had made him keep these feelings to himself. He didn't think he'd ever regretted anything so much before as he was regretting not telling Blaine how he really felt.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he clutched the pocket watch hard in his hand, as if by holding something so personal to Blaine so tightly he could somehow communicate telepathically with him.

"I love you, Blaine," he whispered. "I love you so much and I wish I'd told you."

With a pained whimper, Kurt opened his eyes again and swiped at the tears clinging to his face. He unclenched his fist to look at the watch and slid his finger around the side until he caught the tiny catch to allow him to flip the cover open. Blinking away tears, he looked down at the white face of the watch, distantly noticing a miniscule scratch near the top. Then he noticed the time.

4.03pm.

His knees gave out and he collapsed on the floor, his choked sobs giving way to ones that wracked his whole body.

Blaine was gone.