Chapter 12

The following weeks were full of planning. For the first time Kurt let his mind wander, imagining his life with Blaine, where they would go and what they would do once they are free of the limitations of the community. Those were all beautiful visions of a bright future that lay ahead of them, exciting and flawless. There were going to be troubles waiting for them, but they would handle them together, always supporting each other in all and every way possible.

But there were also less joyful images entering his mind from time to time. He was trying to be optimistic about his search for his biological father, yet he was aware that there was no guarantee of success. Or, even if he found the man, he couldn't be sure Burt would believe Kurt was his son (Kurt himself was only about eighty per cent sure of that) or that he'd be willing to accept him as family.

Their greatest worry, however, was money. They had a pretty vague notion of how expensive life in the outside world was, and there was no way of knowing how long it would take them to find Kurt's father. Without knowing his last name, they were looking at months, even if he really lived in Lima. In the meantime, they had to be able to sustain themselves, and once they left, they couldn't count on their families anymore. Kurt had been planning to leave for years, so he'd been saving all the money that he ever earned for the sole purpose of getting himself through the rough first months on his own. Luckily for him – and probably unbeknownst to Ruth and Abraham – among his mother's things was a small stack of ruffled tens and twenties, amounting to a couple of hundred dollars. Even if it wasn't much, it was always a start.

Everybody in the neighbourhood had already found out about the friendship that blossomed between the bishop's youngest boy and the Hershbergers' adopted son, so nobody was particularly surprised when in the middle of April they volunteered to help in building a house for the newest wedded couple in the congregation. Jacob and Martha Miller were second cousins in a family that for decades kept their marriages strictly between relatives, so that their land would stay more or less undivided. Bigger farms meant more produce to be sold, and Millers held a stall at a Millersburg farmers market, which brought them quite high earnings. The fact that the Millers offered actual money for the work on their house – since their own family members were too busy with their sizeable farm – convinced Kurt and Blaine to seize the chance to get ahead with their savings.

The job also meant that they had less time to simply enjoy each other's company, although now it didn't seem like every second could be the last one anymore. Everyone – whether they liked it or not – got used to their close friendship soon enough, and nobody raised a question, even if some birthed in people's minds. The boys' families weren't always approving or devoid of suspicion, but the answers Kurt and Blaine gave whenever asked about the other one were always unwavering, steady and provided without breaking eye contact. Blaine was uncomfortable with lying, especially to the people who'd spent their lives trying to raise him right, but the alternative was far worse.

May came, reminding the boys that their lives were to end in a matter of a few short weeks. The waiting filled Kurt with excitement and thrill; this was all he'd ever wanted, find out where he came from and where he truly belonged. Blaine was much more apprehensive about leaving, but he'd made up his mind, and with every passing day, he found it harder to imagine his life without Kurt in it.

On the Friday of their third week of working at the Millers' house, they dragged their feet tiredly to the barn on the Hershberger farm, the closest of the buildings on the family's property. The evening was quite late, so they expected it to be empty.

They slopped to a stack of hay in exhaustion, just to rest for a while and spend a while together without other people's eyes on them. They still had details of their departure left to plan, but at that moment, they were too tired to put their thoughts together.

'Where has the time gone?,' Kurt groaned. 'There was so much of it left and now it feels like we're completely unprepared.'

'We still have over three weeks,' Blaine told him comfortingly. 'We'll get done with the Millers' house and then we'll have time to plan. It's gonna be okay.'

He propped himself on his elbow, sending Kurt a smile.

'You're ridiculously optimistic, Blaine Anderson,' Kurt said, teasing. 'Have you figured out what you're going to tell your parents, though? Still nothing better than "I'm gonna go with Kurt for Rumspringa?"'

Blaine sighed, falling back to the hay.

'What else can I tell them? I'd rather just leave and let them think it's 'cause I want to drive a car, rather than tell them "Mom, Dad, I want to sleep with boys".'

'Hey, what is that supposed to mean? Boys? Plural?,' Kurt asked, raising his eyebrow and sitting up to look at Blaine with faked jealousy.

'You can always dump me.' Blaine shrugged, holding back a smile.

Kurt pretended to think about it for a moment, before leaning over Blaine, whose wide, sparkling hazel eyes followed his every movement.

'I don't think I'm that stupid. I can see no dumping in the foreseeable future,' he said.

'Good.'

At that, Blaine cupped Kurt's neck in his hand, pulling him down to his lips, kissing him hungrily. Spending days on end without being allowed the slightest touch or the tiniest of pecks was agonising, especially when he couldn't escape the delicious look of Kurt, sweaty from exertion, his perfectly shaped muscles visible even under the baggy Amish clothes. Those full pink lips were begging to be kissed and Blaine had to use all of his willpower to stop himself from succumbing to their allure.

So when he was finally free to give in, his exhaustion faded away. Having Kurt in his arms felt like a source of power to him, and he never wanted to let him go.

By now, they had discovered many little things about each other and they gladly put this knowledge to use. Blaine knew Kurt enjoyed being kissed on the neck; Kurt figured out that kissing Blaine on and around his collarbones made him groan in pleasure (it also was the best way to make sure he would get hard, which gave Kurt profound satisfaction). Those were details, but Kurt and Blaine were quite sure nobody else had ever known them. All the embarrassment and timidity of their first few kisses had vanished entirely, their hands were becoming more and more daring in their explorations, tugging at shirts and unfastening buttons.

It wasn't that all they ever did when they were alone was making out. They could spend hours simply talking, with no more physical contact than the touch of the fingers. But once their mouths found each other, hours could pass without them noticing. Kurt had no idea why, but Blaine's presence in his arms, his smell lingering on his skin and in his nostrils, and his taste persistent in his mouth made him feel safe like never before.

And Blaine learnt that there was nothing that made him happier than the sight of Kurt's smile and that sparkle that entered the glasz eyes whenever Kurt caught him staring.

'I love you,' Kurt murmured against Blaine's lips, opening his eyes only to see the bliss on the other boy's face.

'I love you, too.'

They sunk into another kiss smiling, Blaine's hands roaming up Kurt's chest and fumbling with his shirt. All of their senses were focused just on them right there, lying in the hay, with their hormones raging, hearts beating fast, but still in sync. There was nothing else that existed for them in that moment, they cared for nothing else than the sweet, sweet taste of young love and freedom.

And that was their mistake.

'What in hell-?,' a voice sounded in the barn, muffled with shock, but still audible enough to make Kurt and Blaine jump apart.

'Josh! No-!,' Blaine choked out, his lips still pulsating and swollen from kissing. He wanted to tell his brother this wasn't what he thought it was, but that would have been a blatant falsehood, so he broke off the sentence.

He expected Josh to scream, to explode with rage into a million pieces, and get the whole neighbourhood to gather round to see Blaine and Kurt's humiliation. Kurt simply froze, his shirt half unbuttoned and ruffled, but he'd imagined this happening a hundred times before, and his expectations were similar to his boyfriend's.

Joshua, however, chose to surprise them. He didn't start screaming. He didn't start off by calling them names. He didn't run out to get all the neighbours to humiliate them.

'Friend, Blaine, huh?,' he said mockingly. 'You two were hiding pretty well these past few weeks, though, I have to give you that.'

'Go to hell!,' Kurt told him through clenched teeth.

Josh couldn't hold back a jeering chuckle.

'Oh, I'm not the one going to hell, believe me, Mr. My-Mommy-Abandoned-Me.'

Kurt balled up his hands into fists, barely resisting the urge to punch Josh.

'What do you want?,' Blaine asked, trembling with rage and fear.

'Me?,' Joshua said innocently. 'I want nothing. Just my family not to be disgraced by a thankless faggot.'

With that, he turned on his heel and walked out of the barn. Horrified, Blaine jumped to his feet, speeding after his brother.

'Josh! Stop!'