Chapter 14

‘Breathe, Kurt, just breathe,’ Blaine repeated soothingly, as he run his fingers through his friend’s hair one more time.

Kurt hadn’t stopped quivering since Blaine ran into the restroom and saw him clutching one of the sinks for dear life. Now they were sitting on the floor, Kurt wrapped securely in Blaine’s arms, as he tried desperately to compose himself. Both their cell phones would vibrate from time to time, when texts from their worried fellow Glee clubbers came flooding in. Blaine had received a call and stormed out, almost bumping into Mr Schue in the doorway and not saying a word of explanation. But they were all quite positive something bad had happened and that it concerned Kurt.

A good fifteen minutes had passed until Kurt was able to control his breathing enough to speak.

‘He… Oh god- Blaine, he-‘ Kurt swallowed; calling that a kiss would be blasphemy in his mind. It was nothing like the kisses they’d shared, nothing like he’d ever imagined kisses to be like.

‘Shh.’

‘He kissed me-‘ Kurt couldn’t see Blaine’s expression, but was quite sure it was one of profound shock, as his body tensed and froze. ‘But it was- gross. It was like an- assault, it was like-‘ His voice failed him once more and he felt a fresh wave of tears pouring down his face.

Blaine’s hand resumed its comforting stroking, but he didn’t speak for another moment.

‘Tell me from the beginning,’ he whispered finally.

Kurt shivered at the thought of going through the experiences of the last half hour, but he had to tell someone. And that someone had to be Blaine.

He took a lungful of air in, hoping to steady his voice.

‘I was going to the choir room, and I was passing him in the hallway. And I tried to slip by, so he wouldn’t see me, but he did. And he pushed me, as always, and I fell. But then he ran and I was thinking about what you said… To stand up to him. So I ran after him into the locker room. The football team’s locker room, you know?’ He could tell Blaine was nodding. ‘And then I was yelling at him, I don’t even remember what I said really… And then he said something like, “Don’t push me”, or something, and he was holding me against the lockers. And he’s too big, I couldn’t- I couldn’t push him away. I think I dared him to punch me, and then… I have no idea why, or even when exactly that happened… Before I knew it, he was practically mauling my mouth, and I felt like I would puke, and I wanted to get away, but I couldn’t… And then-‘

Kurt’s breath hitched at the memory of the hand on his body, and he felt the nausea hit him again.

‘God, it was like- like he was trying to get to- to get to my pants.’

Blaine was barely able to wrap his mind around what his best friend had been through. Words failed him, all he was able to do was sit there and hold him, even though his every brain cell screamed at him to find that guy and beat the crap out of him. But he wasn’t sure he would even be able to stand, and he would never leave Kurt alone like this.

‘But then Azimio came in, and Ka- he let me go, and then he ran away, and I- I left. And then I called you,’ Kurt finished his story. It was a struggle to tell it, but he couldn’t keep something like that from Blaine.

For a while they sat almost completely motionlessly, with only gurgling in the pipes disturbing the silence. It seemed the school was empty by now, and even if the football team and the Glee club were still there, no sounds reached the two boys huddled on the tiled floor of the restroom. Neither of them could truly notice the quiet; both of their heads ached from an unstoppable overflow of thoughts. The only time Kurt moved was to press his hands tightly against his eyes, trying to get a hold on the whirl of images and feelings in his mind.

‘What are you- What are we going to do?,’ Blaine’s uncertain whisper startled Kurt and he shrugged.

‘I don’t think I- we should do anything.’

Blaine frowned, staring intently at the back of Kurt’s head, as he refused to turn to face him.

‘Why?’

Kurt was still lost in the confusion of his thoughts, so he took a moment to gather them and put in order. Finally, he moved away from Blaine to sit directly in front of him.

‘As much as I hate what… what he did, what he’s been doing all along, as much as I wish I’d kicked him in the groin or something… I know what he must be feeling. Like he’s damaged or inherently evil, or fucked up. And all the feelings that he must be having… Feeling attracted to the hot guy in P.E., instead of ogling the cheerleaders- I know what it’s all like. And I know you do, too. I know, neither of us would ever do what he did, but I think I understand where he’s coming from. And as much as my brain is telling me to hate him, and as much as I wish I could do it, I just feel sorry for him. Besides, I’m pretty sure Azimio and the rest of them are going to make his life hell now, anyway. I don’t want to add to it. I don’t want to become the tormentor.’

Blaine scanned his friend’s face carefully; Kurt wasn’t shaking anymore, his voice was back to sounding clear and collected. His words weren’t what Blaine wished he would hear, but they were so Kurt he began to wonder, why he would ever expect anything else from him. He sighed deeply, reaching out to put his hand on Kurt’s shoulder.

‘Okay. Whatever you want.’ He paused for a second and bit his lip. ‘But you do know that I’d really like to kick his ass for what he did?’

Kurt attempted a smile, but the result was lopsided and entirely not cheerful.

‘I know. But I also know you’re not that kind of a person.’

Blaine scoffed; he knew deep down Kurt was absolutely right. He could never beat anyone up, unless in someone’s – or his own – defense.

‘And you know that that was sexual harassment, he could be charged for it.’

Kurt cringed at the phrase, but shook his head, getting what Blaine’s point was.

‘I know that, too, but let’s just leave it, okay?’

Reluctantly, Blaine nodded and got up to his feet, holding his hand out to help Kurt up. Once they were both standing, Kurt started towards the door, neglecting his still not quite presentable appearance; there was no point in going to Glee club now anyway. It took him a moment to realize Blaine was still standing by the wall opposite the door.

‘What is it?,’ Kurt asked alarmed.

‘Nothing.’ Blaine shook his head. ‘I just- I hope it gets better now. I hope nothing else ever happens to you. To either of us.’

Kurt smiled sadly at him.

‘Me, too.’