Chapter 11

U ok?

Not even ten seconds had passed since Blaine stormed into his room, when his phone buzzed to life. He couldn't know how much Kurt could have heard from Cooper's room, but that door slamming he definitely had caught.

Not really. His finger hovered over the send button as he heard footsteps on the stairs, and added, Later.

When his mother knocked on the door, he was sitting on the edge of his bed, his face in his palms.

'What?,' he snapped.

The door opened slowly, and Mrs Anderson went in warily, uncertainty and fear clear in her expression.

'Blaine…,' she started, lost for words. 'What do you want us to do?' There was a tone of desperation in her voice.

Blaine shook his head helplessly, then shrugged, trying to find words to express what he had felt most of his life.

'I just… I want to feel like I have parents.'

Mrs Anderson closed her eyes. Her son's words cut through her chest like a thousand cold sharp knives. She had realized by now that he was unhappy; but she still could not quite believe she had never noticed it. She apparently failed as a mother, and had been completely clueless about it for sixteen years.

Without saying anything more, she turned around, heading out into the hallway. At the threshold, she stopped with her hand on the door handle.

'We do love you, Blaine,' she said in a small voice, and closed the door.

***

All the leftovers from the Thanksgiving dinner were laid out in a row on the floor of the living room, right next to where Kurt and Blaine were lying on the carpet.

Kurt hadn't heard what occurred over the dining room table, so Blaine gave him a detailed account of the events once his parents were out on their way to the hospital. His anger was beginning to subside, replaced gradually by quiet defeat. He wasn't really surprised by the outcome of the dinner, but he had wished for just an hour of a normal family life. Instead, he was served the same old disappointment and feeling of lack of understanding.

Now they were lying in silence, not even bothering to eat anything from the stack of food next to them.

Kurt's conscience felt heavy; it was him after all, who convinced Blaine to reach out to his parents. If not for his mindless insistence, his friend wouldn't be so upset right now, and it pained him.

'I'm sorry,' he spoke finally, breaking the silence.

Blaine shifted to face him, his brow furrowed.

'What for?'

Kurt sighed heavily. 'For telling you to do all this. I should've known better.' He winced.

'It's not your fault.' Blaine shook his head, lying back down. 'I have my own brain, you know. Don't take all the credit for my decisions.'

'Then I'm sorry it turned out that way,' Kurt said, turning to his side and wrapping one arm over Blaine's chest.

Despite the drama of the evening, having another human being right next to him made Blaine's lips arch into a tiny smile.

'Thanks for being here for me,' he said into Kurt's hair.

'You're welcome.'

***

Blaine hadn't moved in the last hour, relishing the sounds of the piano and Kurt's voice. It was getting late, but nobody had come to complain about the noise, so Kurt kept on trying to reach the high F in Defying Gravity with a renewed zeal.

When Kurt took one of the many breaks after failing to sing the note, Blaine rolled over onto his belly and looked up at his friend.

'Why are you so determined to reach that F?,' he asked, pulling Kurt back to reality.

With a slight shrug of the shoulders, Kurt dropped his gaze onto the ivory keys. A feeling he didn't expect – and definitely did not want or invite in – was creeping into his heart.

'It's not really about that note,' he admitted reluctantly. 'I just remembered that next Saturday the New Directions are going to sectionals. And I wanted to go so badly. And now I won't get to, because I'm such a cowardly idiot.'

Blaine felt his throat tighten and swallowed in an attempt to fight the feeling.

'You wanna go back?'

Still not raising his eyes, Kurt bit his lip.

'No. Yes. I don't even know.'

A battle was taking place inside of Kurt's mind; his thoughts and emotions were as conflicted as they could be, none of them able to conquer the others. In a sense, he really was beginning to miss Lima. The choir room, the Glee club – or at least a part of it, his basement, his wardrobe… And his father. He was even starting to miss those awkwardly quiet dinners and the inarticulate grunts his father greeted him with in the mornings.

But then, being with Blaine in this almost empty house felt more like family than the Hummels' had in the last eight years. He knew he wouldn't be able to stay there indefinitely, but leaving scared him out of his wits. Reasons for leaving and reasons for staying scored exactly the same amount of points in the strange violent game they were playing.

'You miss your dad?,' Blaine asked tentatively.

Kurt blinked, futilely fighting tears away. A sob shook his frame as first drops fell from his eyelashes onto his cheeks. He wiped them away with the back of his hand.

When he looked up again, Blaine was hurrying across the room and sitting next to him on the bench by the piano. Almost instinctively, Kurt hid his face in Blaine's chest, wrapping his arms around him. Blaine returned the gesture, catching Kurt in a tight comforting embrace.

'I'm just- so- so scared,' Kurt sniffled.

'I know, I know.'

***

They didn't go to sleep until four, barely even speaking. For hours they were sitting with their arms around each other, occasional sobs and soothing words from one or the other breaking the silence. Nothing else was necessary; their presence and the caring hands stroking the other's hair were exactly the kind of comfort both of them needed.

Being lonely isn't quite as dreadful when there is someone to share the loneliness with.

'I think we should get a little sleep,' Kurt said finally, weakening his grip on Blaine, but never fully letting go.

'Okay.'

They made their way up the stairs, arms around each other's waists. When they stopped in front of the door to Cooper's room, Kurt turned around to Blaine, his eyes red and puffy from the crying. Blaine's didn't look very dissimilar.

'Could you-' Kurt's breath hitched. 'Could you stay for a while?'

'My parents are coming home in the morning,' Blaine said quietly. He wished he could sleep with Kurt next to him just as much.

'Just for a moment.'

With a nod, Blaine pushed the door open. They never said a word. In complete silence they lied down, Blaine hugging Kurt's back to his chest.

'Thank you,' Kurt whispered.

Blaine felt like the usual "you're welcome" would sound wrong. 'I don't know what I would do if you weren't here,' he said instead.

He waited until Kurt's breathing evened out, and got up careful not to wake him. But before he turned away to the door, he leaned down to brush Kurt's forehead with his lips.

'Goodnight, Kurt,' he breathed.