Chapter 23: Chance

A couple of minutes before Blaine was scheduled do come out onto the small stage, Kurt snuck back out into the bar. The place was full, because it was Saturday and people were eager to listen to some live entertainment for a change. The crowd made it tougher for Kurt to find Santana, but eventually he spotted her with another girl several feet from the podium. The stranger was blond and lean, with green eyes sparkling from under a spiky haircut. She smiled brightly at Kurt as soon as Santana noticed him, pointing him out to her friend.

‘Hello, ladies,’ he greeted them and held his hand out to the girl. ‘I’m Kurt, Santana might have mentioned me.’

She eagerly shook his hand.

‘She did, I’m Lindsey.’ The smile on her face seemed to be unceasing. ‘You may not know it, but Santana talks about you and your other friends from high school a lot.’

‘Oh, really?’ Kurt raised his eyebrows in surprise. ‘Then I bet it’s nothing pleasant.’

Lindsey laughed.

‘On the contrary. I mean, she says some nasty stuff and all, but you know Santana.’ Her hand grabbed the other girl’s over the drink Santana was holding. It crossed Kurt’s mind he should have known she’d be this kind of friend. ‘She’d rather seem tough.’

‘Hello, I’m still here,’ Santana cut in with a sugar-coated smile.

‘Don’t get upset, those were compliments,’ Kurt assured her.

‘Anyway,’ Lindsey said, drawing his attention back to the reason why she was there. ‘How’s your boyfriend tonight? I hope he’s not too nervous about me being here.’

Kurt tried to smile, but the result was unconvincing.

‘We had a little bit of a crisis, but I guess it’s fine now,’ he answered evasively.

‘Oh, I didn’t mean to be a problem.’ Lindsey winced slightly. ‘You could’ve kept it from him, just to not make him flip out.’

A chuckle escaped Kurt’s lips.

‘Believe me, I tried. But someone spilled the beans and we ended up with- that crisis. He kinda- freaked.’ He laughed anxiously in an attempt to cover up his guilt.

Santana eyed him suspiciously, but before she could say anything, Blaine came out onto the stage. He grinned at the audience as he settled on the stool with his guitar, even though there was still an air of restlessness about him. He tried not to think about pleasing anyone, and concentrate on doing his job as well as he could.

He started with a few covers on his guitar between switching to piano for a couple more. Kurt noticed Lindsey was listening closely and it seemed she liked what she was hearing, particularly the songs that Blaine rearranged, making them his own. She whispered something to Santana, who nodded in agreement, her lips twitching up.

‘Now I’m going to play something a little bit different,’ Blaine said eventually. ‘This is something I’ve been working on for some time, and I’d like to dedicate it to the first person who’s heard it. He’s the person who inspired me to go back to songwriting and who gives me courage to chase my dreams. So, Kurt, this is for you.’

Kurt beamed up at him as Blaine cast him a glance a second before his fingers struck the keys. Somehow the song seemed to have become even more beautiful than it was before. Unlike most of the time, the audience was almost completely quiet, listening to the music and eventually giving it a generous ovation.

‘I guess I could work with that,’ Lindsey said when the claps died out.

Seeing Blaine’s eyes were on him, Kurt grinned happily at the stage, raising two thumbs up.

***

Blaine joined them at the table almost immediately after leaving the stage. The bar was beginning to empty and they could talk freely.

‘This is Lindsey,’ Kurt introduced her to his boyfriend when he approached them.

‘Blaine Anderson,’ he said, extending his hand for her to shake.

‘Lindsey Boyd. That was a pretty neat set,’ she complimented him.

‘Thanks.’ Blaine sat down in the last empty chair, leaning slightly on the table. ‘I’m guessing you wanted me to play something original, am I right?’

Lindsey laughed shortly.

‘Yeah, I might’ve said something about it to Santana.’

‘So I hope I didn’t disappoint,’ Blaine said as nonchalantly as he could.

‘Not at all. That was very heart-felt. Very genuine. People like that. Almost as much as they like a cute guy with a guitar.’

Kurt felt like he could explode with pride. He could barely stop himself from bouncing up and down in his chair. Santana was the only one who didn’t seem the least excited about the topic of their conversation. Her eyes stayed fixed on Blaine and his hands that he had laced together to stop them from trembling. There wasn’t much to stress over anymore, he knew already that Lindsey liked him, so why would he still be so nervous?

‘Hey, she said she liked you, chill already!,’ she told Blaine. ‘You’re starting to look like you have early onset Parkinson’s.’

Blaine tried to laugh the remark off, but Kurt’s expression fell, setting Santana’s suspicions sky-rocketing.

‘You’re not telling us something. Both of you,’ she stated, and a look of horror in Kurt’s face seemed to prove she was right. ‘What is it?’

For one tense moment, Blaine hesitated, pursing his lips. Kurt held his breath, unsure which was the worse alternative: telling Lindsey the whole truth or keeping it secret. Either one could end in a disaster.

‘You’re right,’ Blaine said eventually. ‘There is something. First, though, I want to ask you to try not to treat me any different than you would anybody else on the account of what I’m about to say, in any way. But if that makes you change your mind about me or working with me, I won’t be offended. You can be open with me about it.’

Kurt put his hand over both of his boyfriend’s over the table top in a gesture of reassurance.

‘Are you sure about this?,’ he asked quietly.

‘She should know.’

‘What exactly should she know?,’ Santana demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.

‘That I’m sick.’

A tense awkward silence ensued. Not even Santana could get herself to speak for a while. Lindsey’s expression showed quite clearly she had not predicted that.

‘Is it serious?,’ Lindsey asked at last. ‘Forgive my bluntness, but is it terminal?’

‘Maybe let him tell you what it is first,’ Santana cut in, putting a hand on her girlfriend’s forearm. ‘Sick how?,’ she addressed Blaine.

‘Not terminally, that’s for sure. Seriously, yes,’ he said, carefully choosing words.

‘But he’s getting better,’ Kurt told the girls with conviction.

Everyone ignored him, focusing on the fact that no illness had been specified.

‘Can we establish what we’re dealing with?,’ Lindsey asked impatiently.

Blaine nodded slowly, dropping his eyes to the table.

‘I suffer from DID, which stands for dissociative identity disorder.’

‘Meaning?,’ Santana prompted.

‘It’s a mental illness, isn’t it?’ It was more of a statement than a question on Lindsey’s part. She was perfectly serious, not a shade of mockery sounded in her voice, and Blaine felt relieved; no matter what was coming next, this was a good first step and it was more than he could usually count on.

‘Yes, it is,’ he answered. ‘Do you want to know what it causes?’

Lindsey did, so he summarised the most important information about his disorder, mentioning only that he had a few alters, below the average amount, and that he was in therapy. She listened until he finished without interrupting him.

‘So you’re saying it’s being managed?,’ she said cautiously.

‘I’m in therapy, yes.’

‘No, what I mean, there have to be some drugs you could be taking.’

‘There are,’ Blaine confirmed. ‘But currently I’m- off medication.

‘Why?’

Blaine sighed, rubbing his eyes in frustration. Something always had to be wrong.

‘Because I’m sick of drugs. I didn’t feel like myself when I was on them. I probably wouldn’t have composed anything on drugs.’

‘He’s getting better now,’ Kurt repeated. ‘He’s been great lately.’

‘Kurt,’ his boyfriend pleaded.

‘But you have!,’ he insisted. ‘When was the last time you transitioned?’

‘Today, Kurt!,’ Blaine countered.

‘And before the one time I fucked up?’

They almost forgot they weren’t alone. Fighting wasn’t something they had much experience in; apart from Blaine’s attempt at breaking up, they had only squabbled over trifles.

‘First of all, you didn’t fuck up, Jenny did,’ Blaine reasoned. ‘Second of all, there’s no guarantee my symptoms won’t go back to what they used to be.’

‘They won’t,’ Kurt said, trying to convince himself almost as much as his boyfriend.

‘You can’t know that.’

‘Um, hey, guys,’ Lindsey interrupted them uneasily. ‘Can I ask you one more question, Blaine?’

‘Shoot,’ he sighed, leaning back in his chair.

‘Can it be cured?’

‘Undetermined. But I’ve had it for nineteen years and not much has changed, so- I wouldn’t count on that,’ he said, wincing.

Lindsey considered it for a moment, nodding gently to herself. Santana tried to whisper something in her ear, but she waved her away impatiently. Then she folded her hands on top of the table and fixed her eyes on Blaine one more time.

‘You wanted me to be straight with you- honest with you,’ she corrected herself as her girlfriend barked out a laugh. ‘So I’ll tell you exactly what I think. I think you have great potential. I think there would be plenty of labels fighting for your talent, if they only knew you existed. So before anyone else does, I’m going to fight for you. I’ll get you into a label, I’ll help you put out a record. All you have to do is say yes.’

Blaine swallowed, his eyes bulging in disbelief. He expected her to regret coming at all and wasting her time for a crazy guy. Still she was willing not only to take her chance with him, but fight for him.

‘So? What’s it going to be?,’ Lindsey urged him.

‘Why?,’ he choked out at last. ‘This isn’t going to be easy, you have to realise that.’

‘I do. But I believe everyone deserves a chance, especially when they are as talented as one fourth of the current market put together.’

The shock Blaine was in kept growing stronger when he thought it already impossible. He felt like he was going to implode with this amount of emotions, but nothing happened. Suddenly, he realised he still hadn’t answered Lindsey.

‘Yes. I mean, if this is what you think, I’m saying yes.’

***

It was past midnight, and the bar was almost completely empty, as people had left to party elsewhere. Kurt left the table to get them some more drinks, humming under his breath. He was quite pleased with the outcome of the evening, despite the hurdles and the fight he had with Blaine that he’d rather forget about. Blaine got Lindsey’s support and that was what counted.

‘Need a hand?,’ Santana asked from behind Kurt, startling him.

‘Yeah, sure,’ he said, smiling at her s she joined him at the bar.

A moment slipped by in silence as they waited for their drinks.

‘It’s really brave what you’re doing,’ Santana said unexpectedly.

‘What?’ Hearing anything of the sort from her was a first, no matter what she was referring to.

‘The whole I’m-dating-a-mental-guy thing.’ Kurt lifted a finger to protest, but she went on. ‘God, you know what I mean. He’s cool. And as much as I hate saying this, you really do look cute together.’

‘Thanks, I guess,’ he muttered with a frown. ‘You and Lindsey make a cute couple, too. Why didn’t you tell me she was your girlfriend?’

Santana bit her lip. The bartender just put their drinks on the counter, so she busied herself with picking hers and Lindsey’s to take them to their table.

‘I didn’t want it to seem like I slept my way up the business pecking order.’ She shrugged, but Kurt could tell the confession made her uneasy, if not vulnerable.

‘I thought you didn’t care about other people’s opinions,’ he said, eyeing her as they started heading back to the table.

His friend turned to him with her number five smile.

‘That’s ‘cause I don’t.’ Her expression turned serious. ‘Not about most people’s. But you’re like- you’re like my family, Kurt. You and all those other idiots from glee. I’d probably be like dealing drugs or sucking off truckers in Lima Heights if not for that club.’

Kurt chuckled, shaking his head.

‘Oh no, I bet nothing like that would have happened to you,’ he disagreed. ‘It’s nice that you think so, though. Just promise me one thing.’

‘Depends what it is, but I’m guessing it’s not a foursome.’

He rolled his eyes at her.

‘Promise me we won’t lose touch again.’

‘Deal,’ she said without hesitation.

‘And I guess a couple of VIP tickets to a show of yours wouldn’t hurt either,’ Kurt added with a smug grin.

‘We’ll see about that.’