“Hey, Rachel. Kurt.” Blaine was trying very hard to come off as nonchalant, but the smile that was tugging at his lips was making that very difficult. This wasn’t the first time they’d run into each other since Kurt and him last met. This was the first time, however, that Blaine had decided to approach him and actually talk, rather than just give a nod and wave. He had been trying to give Kurt his space, to allow the other boy to start a conversation. But after a few weeks and a half dozen or so encounters, Kurt still seemed satisfied to keep his distance. 

So once again, Blaine was taking the initiative. Under different circumstances, this would be something he would be fine with. Blaine was confident with his actions, with his ability to weave words and make everyone around him feel comfortable. But the circumstances weren’t different, and with the way things were, he was unusually hesitant. He felt a strange uncertainty approaching Kurt; he didn’t want to come off as overly possessive or like all he did was try to be with Kurt again. It wasn’t like that. He knew Kurt wasn’t really his concern anymore. But Blaine had always cared about others a little more than was expected, and even more so when it came to Kurt.

When no quick response came, Blaine continued, “What are you guys up to?” 

Rachel answered, “Just picking up some breakfast before we go out shopping.” She smiled at him, but it seemed a little stiff, and her eyes flicked to Kurt, who still hadn’t said anything. 

“Sounds like fun.” It was honestly the only thing he could think of saying. Well, there were lots of things he wanted to say, but that was the only statement that was even slightly relevant to the conversation. 

“I’m sure it will be, for Kurt. I’m just along for the wild ride. He’s a maniac.” Rachel laughed, still glancing over at Kurt, who finally said something, though it was more directed at Rachel than Blaine, “Please, you love me.” Kurt’s smile, albeit not for him, made Blaine want to laugh aloud. 

“Oh, you know I do.” 

“Well, I have class, so I have to get going. Have fun!” Blaine directed his eyes towards Kurt one last time, and then Kurt finally met his gaze, “Thanks, we will.” And even if the words were a little unsure, Kurt’s smile still remained in his eyes, and as Blaine turned to leave the café, he finally felt like he had done something right. 

Eric liked college so far. It was a little far away from his family, and a huge difference from small town Maine, but it was a good kind of difference. Eric was always the social one, the outgoing one; who figured you never knew what could happen until you tried. He always thought it was that, along with his slight obsession with extracurricular activities, that had gotten him into Nyada in the first place. Despite being known as a performance school, it wasn’t like you could get in on talent alone. You had to have something else going for you. Eric liked to think that ‘something else’ for him, was everything else... except for his grades. 

It wasn’t any lack of effort on his part. His brain just didn’t work that way. Even learning how to read sheet music had been a major struggle for him. Figuring things out, comprehending what was in front of him..., It wasn’t like he failed all his classes, nothing like that, but school work   and planning had never been his strong suit. He had more of a ‘just go with it’ attitude, and he liked to just let everything else fall into place. So far, that had been enough to get close with his roommate Blaine. They bonded over their alike obsession of listening to every type of music, and went to each other when optimism started to look bleak even to the optimists that they were. 

Though in Blaine’s case, that had surprisingly become more often than not. 

That’s what Eric was having trouble figuring out. He couldn’t quite understand Blaine’s mood swings- he knew it had something to do with an ex-boyfriend. Eric, having a few ex-girlfriends of his own, thought he could relate. He figured if anyone could cheer Blaine up, it would be him. He did everything he could possibly think of, all the things he had wanted someone else to do with him when he was at his worse. Clearly, it wasn’t working, as Blaine was currently laying on the floor, looking worse for wear. And yeah, maybe planning things out wasn’t for him. But sometimes an idea struck him and he just had to go with it.

“Uh... Blaine? Are you okay?” 

“Yes. No.”

“That clears a lot up.”

Blaine sat up and leaned back into his hands, “Sorry. I’m just not in the best mood.” His cheek was red from where his face had been pressed against the rug.

“I had noticed.” Eric tried to joke, frowning when Blaine plopped back down again, this time laying on his back and looking up to the ceiling. 

Eric decided to try one more time, “Okay, that’s it. We’re going out.” His tone was serious, but if Blaine rejected him, he wouldn’t push. 

Fortunately, Blaine sat up again and asked hesitantly, “Where?” 

How did I ever think that this was a good idea?

They were at a restaurant that was apparently having a karaoke night. For once in his life, Blaine didn’t feel like singing. Yet there he was, being pushed up onto the small raised platform by his roommate, who was trying to appease him by saying it would make him feel better. 

He thoroughly doubted it, but the music had already started and Eric was grinning like a little kid in a candy store. Blaine listened for a moment, quickly recognizing the song Eric had chosen for him. Of course. Of course he would. 

Too late to back out now, Blaine thought, as he jumped into the opening verse.

“There’s a stranger in my bed, there’s a pounding in my head, glitter all over the room, pink flamingo in the pool.”

Maybe this was making him feel a little better. If anything, at least it was something to take his mind off of everything. 

“It’s a blacked out blur but I’m pretty sure it ruled. Damn! Last friday night, yeah we danced on table tops, and we took too many shots, think we kissed but I forgot-” 

Blaine was feeling a bit self conscious. This song was a little racier than everything else that had been done so far, but judging by the looks of the customers, no one really cared. He started to relax into the music, moving around a bit more, smiling out to the audience.

That was when he spotted a glimpse of super tight jeans and coiffed hair. His voice slipped, and he missed a word or two, but he quickly launched back into the tune, and forced himself to look straight ahead for the rest of the song. Memories tried to interrupt him: singing this while dancing with Kurt, the other Katy Perry song he had sung when they met, and when they broke up...

He nearly choked out the last line, and jumped off the stage, eyes searching wildly for Kurt. When Blaine found him, he was sitting, frowning and talking animatedly with the redhead who had glared at Blaine when he was waiting on them. Blaine was debating whether or not to go over when Kurt looked up, meeting his gaze. He stopped talking, and soon the girl was looking at him too. Blaine waved, but before he could decide if he wanted to approach them, Eric was tugging at his shoulder, “I wondered where you went! You literally ran away after you finished your song, but it was really awesome, Blaine! Blaine?... helloo?” 

Blaine finally looked back to his roommate, “I think we should go.”

He hated seeing the way Eric’s smile disappeared, “Oh. ...Okay. I’m sorry about dragging you here, Blaine.”

“No, no. You were right, I needed to do something fun.” 

Eric’s eyes flickered to Kurt’s table, understanding flooding his gaze, “Well, come on then. There are plenty of other fun places we can go. New York is awesome and we’ve barely even explored!”

Kurt had promised. But it was so hard to feel normal around Blaine. It felt like so much more than just their break up keeping them apart, but he couldn’t understand what it was. All he knew was every time he ran into him, he felt himself close up. He knew he wasn’t exactly his normal self. His father’s death had changed him. But around Blaine, it was like the person he managed to hide from everyone else somehow broke out to make its appearance. His smiles felt tensed, he worried everything he said was going to come out wrong, and it felt like he had shifted into another person’s body, and during the transition he had lost most of himself. He became a tight lipped shadow of himself, and it got to the point that his friends had started to not only take notice, but also ask him about it. He tried to brush it off as just not liking having to be around his ex, but they’d been broken up for months and before Burt’s death, had been on decent enough terms, all things considered. It was only recently that he began to act so oddly. 

“Kurt? Kurt, are you even listening?” 

“Oh, wha-- yeah, of course I was.” He turned his attention back to Grace, pursing his lips, eyebrow furrowing as he tried to recall what they had been talking about. Nothing came to mind. 

She raised an eyebrow, “Of course you were. You do realize I said your name about six times before you even noticed?” 

Kurt tried to appear genuine when he replied, “I’m sorry, Grace. I’m just feeling a bit off tonight, I guess.”

“Off? You were absolutely fine until you noticed he was here! I don’t really know what your problem is Kurt, but this is getting kinda ridiculous.” She scoffed. 

“He? Who? I don’t even know what you’re talking about!” He realized before the words had even left his lips that it sounded stupid and petty. 

“Seriously, Kurt? Grow up.” 

Grace spun on her heel, stalking away into some other room. Kurt felt like hitting his head against the wall, anger surging through him and making him clench his hands tight at his sides. This night was supposed to be fun. He was surrounded by people, and more than half of them he knew or was friends with, everyone was dancing and having a good time and getting more than a little drunk. Even if he was refraining from having more than a drink or two because he had his internship tomorrow afternoon, the whole point was to just let loose and forget about life for a little. 

But the second he had seen Blaine, grinning and dancing in the middle of the living room, his mood had quickly spiraled downwards. Rachel had taken noticed and ushered him off to another room, but she had soon left when he didn’t seem in the mood to talk. Grace had found him later on, immediately handing him a drink, and had even asked him if he wanted her to ask her boyfriend to make Blaine leave (since it was his apartment, after all.) But Kurt couldn’t find it in him to be that selfish, and said no. Apparently, Grace had tried to carry on a conversation after that, but it obviously hadn’t ended well.

Now he just wanted to go home. And since Kurt was plenty aware that Rachel was a big girl and could catch a cab by herself if she didn’t end up going over to Brody’s, that’s what he intended to do. But when he tried to slip through the living room and out the door, Blaine caught sight of him. 

“Hey, Kurt! I didn’t know you were here.” He was grinning from ear to ear, in a way that made Kurt’s heart flutter so high up into his throat it felt like he could vomit. 

“Yeah, I was just leaving though. I’ve got work tomorrow.”

“Oh, come on, that’s no fun! You should stay a little while longer!” Blaine must have had a couple of drinks. This was as upfront as he had been with Kurt since they had agreed to civility. Normally he just said hi or smiled, except for that one time when they’d been at that karaoke place and he’d ran out with his friend.

Kurt started, “I don’t think...” But the feeling of Blaine’s warm hand on his elbow made him pause, and he allowed himself to be tugged back towards the center of the room.

“Come on, just one more song!”

Maybe it was whatever fruity concoction Grace had handed him that Kurt had promptly downed that made him feel the strangest need to agree, or maybe it was just his own moment of insanity, but regardless he was soon allowing himself to be pulled along by Blaine. And then they were dancing. It was just silly, harmless; Blaine moving wildly across from Kurt, and Kurt laughing at him while trying to keep up. He knew that they looked absolutely ridiculous, but he could feel his tension slipping away. Honestly, this was the best he had felt in days. But as the song came to a close and another started up, Kurt paused, his moment of euphoria slipping like water out of his fingers as he struggled to hold on to it for just a second or two longer. Swallowing, he looked up to Blaine, “I- I really should be going.”

He turned and left, hearing Blaine call behind him, “Wait! Kurt!” 

Kurt ignored him.

Blaine had felt like things had been going so well. They had been acting like normal. The air between them had seemed less strained. But then Kurt had bolted out of the party, leaving Blaine confused and feeling like shit once again. A little part of him thought that it wasn’t fair that Kurt kept doing this to him, kept hurting him and drawing him close just to push him away. The more rational part of himself, the part that was caring and true and just so Blaine said that he was being childish thinking that.

He paused then, momentarily scolding himself for getting distracted from his work. School was out in two weeks for vacation, and he absolutely had to get the last of his work in on time and study for finals and midterms. That’s why he had came to the library in the first place: it was always so much easier to work here than when he was at his dorm. 

“Hey, Blaine.”

His head shot up, and warmth flooded his neck where he cricked it, “K-Kurt! Hey, uh. Hey!” The older boy stood in front of the table where Blaine sat, bag in hand, glasses on, looking decidedly less formal and incredibly more like himself than Blaine had seen him in months. 

Kurt bit his lip, seemingly undecided, before giving a small, tight smile, “Is it okay if I sit?” He gestured to the seat across from Blaine.

Blaine nodded, “Of course, yeah.” He smiled up at Kurt, trying so hard to not scare him away. Blaine had convinced himself that was what had happened at the party, but he refused to mention it, or worse, or let it happen again. 

Kurt pulled out the chair, dropping down and taking out his laptop and books before looking back to Blaine again. Blaine was doing what he thought was a very good job at not staring, but the second he felt Kurt’s gaze on him, he looked up. Kurt quickly looked back down to his book, and then both boys got to work.

This is nice, Blaine thought. It just felt domestic and easy and so very natural. It felt like they were Kurt-and-Blaine again, not just Kurt, and Blaine. And for a moment, Blaine let himself slip into the mindset that it was true, that things were good between them once again. And then he went back to scribbling out the rough draft of his essay, but not without letting a little smile curl his lips. 

And he managed to keep up with his whole ‘don’t stare at Kurt’ philosophy for a little while, but when he felt Kurt’s gaze on him yet again, he looked up. Kurt offered a smile, and Blaine huffed a tiny laugh. 

“What?” Kurt asked, sounding perplexed. 

“It’s just that... this is a little weird.” Kurt looked like he was about to say something, so Blaine rushed on, “Weird in a good way, I mean.” Weird because this is how we used to be.

Kurt’s brow furrowed, expression unreadable, and he looked back down, not replying.

It wasn’t until much later, when Blaine had already said his goodbye and left Kurt to do his work on his own, that Kurt finally admitted it to himself. 

It was weird. 

In a good way.